Mistress Mine (9 page)

Trey took a deep breath and let it out in a hard whoosh.
“I’m trying, Mistress. I just can’t seem—” He stopped and then, “No! Take them
out. Now. Stop!”

The words were like a slap to her face, echoing her time
with Tom. She pulled her fingers out quickly and took a step back. Her own
breathing came out in harsh pants as she fought for control. Damn, she was
disappointed to the edge of mad, mad at him and mad at herself. She had chosen
wrong again. Trey wasn’t ready to submit to her totally and while another woman
might stick around to see if he would change, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She
did not need another controlling sub.

With jerky movements, she stripped off her harness, returned
to her bag and tossed it in. The lube joined it and she cleaned her fingers
with exaggerated care while she brought her emotions under control. Her passion
had fled. Her body sagged with sudden fatigue. Tears pricked her eyes, but she
didn’t let them fall. Stupid to have become so infatuated with a man after only
a couple of weeks. She tossed on a wrap around skirt, zippered her bag shut
with a vicious tug, took a few deep breaths and turned to Trey.

He watched as best he could from where he remained
immobilized. Wordlessly, not looking at his face directly, she went to him and
released his restraints. She was a careful Domme, so she made sure to rub the
circulation back into his arms before unbuckling his waist. She could feel his
eyes trained on her. When she bent to free his ankles, he spoke.

“Mistress, I’m sorry.” His voice quiet, he sounded sincere.
It didn’t matter, she knew from bitter experience how deceptive a sub’s words
could be.

She straightened and looked into his eyes. Because he had a
troubled expression on his face, she forced a smile to her own. No need to be
cruel and no need to let him know how disappointed she was. “It’s all right,”
she assured him. “This was an experiment. We had two good weeks, but I’m not
the right Domme for you and you’re not the right sub for me.”

“What? No,” he replied, alarm in his voice. When she turned
from him, his hand shot out and grabbed her upper arm. A hard look from her led
him to let her go. “Please, Mistress,” he continued, following her. “It’s just
that it’s too soon from me. I’m not ready for that. I need more time. Damn it,
Juliette, I’m not like that other guy.”

Juliette walked to the door and stopped. She could feel the
heat of his body, though he kept a respectful distance. Part of her wanted to
stay, to work him some more, fuck him hard and forget the ass play. A bigger
part of her told her to go. She couldn’t risk another sub topping her from the
bottom. Her confidence couldn’t survive it. She looked at Trey over her
shoulder.

“We agreed that I would be your Mistress. Your job was to
trust and obey. You’re obviously not ready for that, and frankly I’m not
willing to find out if you are ever going to be ready.” The look in his eyes
had her softening her tone. His upset was genuine. “You’re a strong man, Trey,
and a commanding one. Maybe you’re not cut out to be a sub. Maybe you should
find a nice woman out there in the club who wants to be dominated.”

He shook his head hard. “No, that’s not me. I’m not a Dom. I
thought without ever articulating it that I was. I know better now. You’ve
showed me what I am.” He stepped closer to her. “I’m a sub. I’m your sub,
Juliette. Please give me another chance.”

She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to, but she didn’t dare.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. With a deep breath to hold back the tears that
still threatened to come, she gave one last order. “Sit down and wait here for
thirty minutes, or longer until you’re steady. I’ll ask Dru to make sure you’re
okay to leave the club. Don’t try to follow me.”

Unable to bear the look of the sadness in his eyes, she
turned and bolted from the room.

Chapter Seven

Mike heaved a big sigh for the second time in a minute, and
once again Trey ignored him. He knew his friend wasn’t having any fun and
frankly, neither was he. Some stupid impulse had led him to cajole the guy into
club hopping, but his heart wasn’t into it. No surprise there. This was the
wrong type of club for him now, and the women sending him flirty signals
weren’t the right kind of women. He knew it. Mike knew it. No wonder his friend
was sighing and drumming his bored fingers on the table top.

“Okay,” Trey admitted, knocking back the last of his beer.
“This was a mistake.”

“Damn straight it was,” the other man replied. “You going to
tell me what happened with the flogging accountant or what?”

Trey shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t. Let’s get out of here. I can’t hear
myself think, let alone talk.”

Despite not wanting to talk about the debacle the other
night with Juliette, Trey followed Mike out into the waning evening. The street
was full of people hustling from one place to another, but it was cooler and
quieter than the club had been. It didn’t lift his spirits, though. He was
miserable since his Mistress had dumped him. It felt as if a heavy weight
pressed on his chest, squeezed his heart, shortened his breath. No amount of
work or play eased the tension. He hadn’t been this bad when Gina had dumped
him. How could a woman he barely knew affect him this badly?

Mike hustled across the street and plopped down on a park
bench. He gestured toward the place next him. “Sit down and tell Uncle Mike all
about it.”

“Suck my dick, Uncle Mike,” Trey replied without heat.
Instead of sitting, he braced one foot against the bench seat and rested his
chin in his hand. “Sorry, man, I don’t think I’m up for talking about it.”

“Yeah, I know, you’d rather suffer in silence, but I have to
tell you, I have never seen you so fucked up and distracted. I’m worried about
you, dude.”

Trey traded his chin for his forehead and groaned. “I’m
okay, I’m just an idiot, is all.” The memory of his failure loomed up as it had
repeatedly for the last few days. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he had
chickened out. The look on Juliette’s face when she gave him his walking papers
haunted him. He had failed her, failed himself. Goddamn, he wished he could do
it over. The thing was, though, he couldn’t be sure he could go through with
it. The thought of being fucked in the ass, even by a woman, raised insecurity
he barely had acknowledged before.

“By that I assume you mean that you screwed up something
with the accountant and she tossed your sorry ass out of the dungeon.”

Trey barked out a laugh. “Yeah, something like that.” It was
all about his ass, and what made him feel as if his ass was some kind of sacred
ground? Hadn’t he talked Gina into letting him fuck her in the ass? It had been
sweet, and he had taken good care of her, going slow and easy. He knew the
drill and Juliette had been taking equally good care of him when he had broken.
Maybe it was him. He had seen lots of videos on the net of men being fucked by
women. They seemed to enjoy themselves, that was for sure. Of course, one
couldn’t believe everything on the internet. Did other straight men really like
being pegged?

Trey arched a brow at his friend. “You really want to help
me?”

Mike shook his head. “No. I love wasting my Saturday night
sitting in a park shooting the shit with another guy instead of hooking up with
a fine woman. It’s a quirk of mine.”

Trey rolled his eyes. “Okay smart mouth. Here’s a question
for you. You ever let a woman do you in the ass?”

Mike’s eyes popped open for a second before he looked away
and squirmed. “Um, wow, when you decide to open up, you don’t mess around.” He
slanted his gaze back to Trey. “Is this what screwed the pooch for you, she
wanted to peg you?”

Trey took a deep breath. “I took the beatings and the clamps
and the orders and I was in heaven. I promised I could take anything she dished
out, but when she went for my asshole, I balked. I told myself I would submit.
She trusted me to, and I was determined. But when push came to shove, so to
speak, I panicked.” Standing up, he groaned. “She said I didn’t trust her
enough and wasn’t prepared to submit to her entirely. She’s not into a power
struggle. She said…” He stopped.

Mike stood up, too. “She said what?”

“Argh! She said maybe I’m a Dom, that I really do need to be
in control. It’s not true, I swear it’s not. I thought I was. I thought I
needed to be the alpha male all the time. When I was with her, though, at the
club, at her mercy, it was fantastic. I could relax in a way I hadn’t in years.
I didn’t have to worry about a thing except obeying.” He stared into his
friend’s eyes. “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but it’s liberating.”

Mike rubbed a hand over his face. “I can’t say I understand
it. I do know that I’ve seen the effects on you of being with this woman for
the last couple of weeks. You were more relaxed, happier, than I’ve seen you in
a long time. Maybe more than I’ve ever seen you. I can also say that while I’ve
never had the full experience, I have had a female finger or two inside me and
it rocked.”

“Yeah?”

His friend grinned broadly. “It rocked my orgasm big time.
The prostate is your friend. And, there’s nothing gay about it, if that’s your
worry.”

“I guess maybe it is, which is just dumb on so many levels.”

Mike clasped his shoulder. “Go back to the club and find
your accountant. Get down on your submissive knees and beg for a second
chance.”

Trey gave his friend a feral grin. “Yeah, you’re right.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do, and I’m going to stay on my knees until
she decides I’m worthy of another chance.” His grin faded. “If she ever does
decide.” If she didn’t, he thought, then it was his own fault and he would
accept her judgment as his Mistress. But he would at least show her how
contrite he truly was and pray for an opportunity to redeem himself. Then he
would pray for the strength to follow through.

* * * * *

Dru greeted Juliette as soon as she entered the club.
Perhaps the manager could sense her unease at returning to the place. God knows
she had warred with herself for hours before coming. There was a risk of
running into Trey, and while she told herself it was unimportant, that
returning to the club was necessary to keep from losing her confidence all over
again, she knew deep down inside that part of her wanted to run into her newly
ex-sub.

The manager smiled. “I wasn’t sure you’d come back.”

Juliette blew out a breath. “Was it that obvious Trey and I
crashed and burned the other night?”

Dru cocked her head. “I could tell something had gone amiss.
I can tell you’re too good a Domme to run out on a sub post-play like that.”

“Yes,” she replied, grimly and ashamed. “That was not well
done of me.”

“It’s okay, he was fine, physically anyway.” She paused. “Do
you need to talk?”

The idea of opening up to this virtual stranger gave
Juliette pause, but then what did it matter? This woman might understand how
she felt and God knew there really wasn’t anyone else in her life she could
talk to about what had happened. “Yes, actually I could use a sympathetic ear.”

Dru beckoned toward the bar. “Come on then, let’s grab a
soda.”

Once they were seated and sipping on their drinks, Juliette
related how she had a crisis of confidence after her last sub and then how Trey
had seemed to be another guy who couldn’t really submit. “I seem to be on a
losing streak where subs are concerned,” she confessed.

The other woman shrugged. “I understand about your old
submissive. Some guys really get off playing the sub while holding the whip
hand, so to speak. It’s an old story and a lousy one. It can really mess you
up. I’m not so sure I’d put Trey in that category, though.”

“Do you think I pushed him too hard to soon?”

“Maybe. Let me ask you this, if it hadn’t been for your
previous experience, would you have been as upset with him freaking out about
ass play?”

Juliette sighed and rested her head against the back of her
chair. “I don’t know. I’ve wondered about that ever since it happened. Perhaps
I overreacted. No,” she amended, fist pounding the armrest. “I did overreact.
Damn, it was another manifestation of my lost confidence. I know that. I’ve
started to call Trey a half dozen times, but I stop because I don’t want to
take the chance. It will be safer to find a more experienced sub, someone who
knows his limits.”

“Safer,” Dru agreed. “Not as fulfilling, though. There was
real chemistry between you two. We all noticed it.”

“Really?” She couldn’t say why exactly, yet hearing it gave
her a feeling of warmth. She’d thought there was something special beginning
with Trey. If other people had noticed then she must have been right. Before
she could pump the manager for more advice, her attention was drawn to the
front door. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar form. A gasp
erupted past her lips before she could stop it.

Dru turned to look and arched her brows. “Someone you know?”

“Tom,” Juliette spit out. “My ex, my ex before Trey.”

“Ah, the manipulative one. Shall I have Hayden escort him
out?”

Juliette hopped off her chair. “No, I’ll take care of this.”
Her stomach was already churning as she strode toward Tom. He was dressed in a
provocative way, tight leather pants molded his excellent, young body and
cupped his impressive package. A black sleeveless t-shirt showed off his arms.
She noticed a new tat adorned his right biceps. His blond hair was shorter and
sculpted into spikes. As he sauntered into the main reception area, his gaze
swiveled back and forth. It stopped, he stopped, when he spotted her. His face
lit up in a broad smile.

Despite her anger, Juliette’s body reacted to the sight of
her old lover with glee. Nipples hardened against the silk of her corset, and
her clit tingled. She ruthlessly tamped down the longing and scowled when she
reached him. “What are you doing here, Tom?”