Mine to Fear (17 page)

“
Yes?”

Just time to spit it out. “We would like
help overthrowing the council.”

His eyes widen briefly before his calm
demeanor returns. “You don't ask for small favors.”

I want to say something sarcastic, but
things are just too heavy to add that in. So instead, I say nothing
at all.

“
This is because of your
brother.”

My chest is heavy at the mere mention of
him. Truth isn't what I want to go for but probably will work best.
“Yes, but not wholly.”

“
Explain.”

“
The world I grew up in was so
different. Women are not only respected as people, but they are
allowed and encouraged to pursue their desires. Whether through
magic, part of government, or business. Even if they want to be a
wife and mother, the position is revered not as a means to getting
warlock babies and girls with magic worth selling off. I've been
here a while. It's not just hard to see how women are treated here.
It's wro
ng
.”

He crosses his arms and leans back slightly.
“You realize it goes against everything I was always taught?”

“
Just because you were taught it your
whole life makes your way right?”

He stares off in the distance without a
word.

“
Maybe it doesn't matter what someone
has been taught their whole life. Maybe it's right or maybe it's
wrong. Maybe the only way to know for certain is to trust your
instincts.”

“
I'll think on it.”

Not the answer I wanted, but at least it's
not a no. “Fair enough.”

Chapter
Twenty-Six

W
hile we wait
for Jack to decide, I take matters into my own hands, helping the
others to prepare even if they don't know it yet. Of course, it's
something they should learn no matter what's to come.
Magic.

The men here already know it and have even
put up with Cynthia and a little bit of Bethany casting spells,
though not so much me. That will have to change, though, because
the women need to learn to harness their powers.

“
Would you like to help me teach
anyone interested how to do magic?” I ask Bethany.

“
Wouldn't Cynthia be a better
choice?”

“
Better, no. She would be helpful,
though, but she already has so many responsibilities, I can't see
adding one more to her list.”

“
True. It would be nice to have an
excuse to take a break from my little sisters.”

Poor girl has been spending almost all her
time with them, trying to teach them and keep them entertained. The
sister next in line after Bethany should be able to assist. “I'm
sure we could find others willing to help. Presha can do a great
job with them. Go ahead and spread the word. We'll start teaching
tomorrow.”

And we do. At first, there aren't many
girls that show up. A couple ladies who are old enough to be
mothers. One woman who is old enough to be a grandmother, and
several who are younger than me.
At
first, they're all timid about trying, but soon they're all
into it, their grins growing bigger with each casting of a
spe
ll. The spells are brightly colored,
ranging from simple spells that are straight colors, to harder
spells that move things around.

Not only that, but they gather a crowd
around them. Each time we practice, the crowd grows a little
bigger. A few more women join us in practicing, but most still only
watch. At least they're taking it all in. The only thing that is
not good about the situation is that most still try to avoid me. I
know why, and I even understand it. But that doesn't mean I have to
like it. At least they're learni
ng
.

***

Two days later, there's finally a meeting
with Jack. He stands across from me, arms folded. “You, Serena,
Cynthia, Annabelle, Nelly and, well, all lot of the women here,
working with them every day. Helping them survive. I've learned
things from them. Things that I never would have learned
otherwise.”

Wow. That's more than I expected from him.
At least so soon.

“
I've thought on your
reque
st to help
.”

When he says nothing further, I prompt, “Did
you come to a decision?”

“
I believe I have.”

“
What do I need to do to find out the
answer?”

He grunts. “You have to understand this
isn't easy for me.”

“
Is that a good sign or a bad
one?”

“
Depends on your
perspective.”

“
You're maddening.”

Jack raises an eyebrow at me with a grin and
then sombers. “I…I had a sister.”

Had? And what does this have to do with his
decision? “Were you close?”

He laughs, but it's tainted with a deep
bitterness. “No. She avoided me as much as she could. Which she
should have. I was cruel. Teased her, hexed her. Then she was
tested and sold off to an old warlock. It was supposed to be a good
thing for our family, a raise in status and wealth, but…” He shakes
his head.

He continues, “It doesn't matter now.
The point is, I thought it was the correct way to act, treating her
as such. I thought it was the way things were supposed to be. My
friends all treated women that way. When I'd help with a training
f
or
class, they'd encourage
the same. My father, well, he wasn't always the harshest warlock,
but women were definitely objects to him.”

His description leaves a bitter taste in my
mouth. This doesn't sound like the talk someone gives before
accepting to help you overthrow other men who act the same way,
even if he did preface it with how helping women has changed
him.

“
Yet, now my sister has been gone
years. Shortly after that, I came to work for Councilman Daniel to
help with Father's debt. Things were different there. I've never
seen a warlock treat a woman the way he treats his wife. And he's
kinder to the other women as well. It's stuck with me.
Ma
de
me think on how I
treated my elder sister. How she always avoided me, yet adoration
shone in her eyes when she looked at mother. I felt like I was
missing something. And then you. You came along.”

“
And probably ruined any kind thoughts
you had about women with how incredibly harsh I was.”

“
You were harsh.” But he smiles, a
real genuine smile that makes my stomach flutter. “But it was the
first time I've seen a woman be so, well, warlock-like.
Confide
nt
. You never lower
your face to a warlock. You don't even mind talking to one like
there isn't any consequences to your words. You are nothing like
Chardonian women.”

“
Thank the queen for that.” And does
that mean he sees me as a positive thing? “But I'm hoping more
Chardonian women can gain that confiden
ce
. They are people. They have rights. They need
to know it.”

“
I'm beginning to think you're
right.”

Did he really just say that? Jack? The
servant who's been mean to me and apparently his older sister?
“That you think so gives me hope other warlocks may feel the same
someday.”

“
It also means,” he takes a deep
breath and lets it out in a puff, “yes, I will help you. Though it
will probably mean death to us all.”

My mouth would hang open if my mother hadn't
drilled into me to keep it closed. “I don't know what to say. I
admit that's not the answer I was expecting.”

“
Yet it is what I've been leaning
toward with everything I've been doing.”

“
Yes, it is. Forgive me. I've been
thinking that you aren't as strong as you really are. I've gotten
to know you better than that, seen how loyal you can be. I
shouldn't have judged you so harshly.”

“
I did bring it on myself.”

“
Maybe. But maybe my preconceived
ideas need to be unlearned as much as yours.”

“
That might be true.” He gives a half
smile. “I will help, and I will give everything I have.”

“
Thank you.”

But he's right. This may very well
mean death to us al
l
.

Chapter
Twenty-Seven

“
Y
ou do
understand that I can't make the others want to participate in our
suicidal rebellion,” Jack says.

I try not to let his words deflate me. “You
have more power over them than you think.”

“
I have less power over them than you
think. The only reason they're letting me lead them is I'm the only
warlock who's stepped forward to do so. If another warlock came
along and started punishing them, my position would be done
for.”

“
Do you really think they would?
They're finding freedom to speak in here, to play and to walk
around without an escort. They're finding a life without hexes and
beatings. They're already seeing how much better life can be
without th
at
.”

“
I want to hope otherwise, but I think
it's so.”

Exactly the type of thing I'll keep working
on. “We'll just have to do the best we can then.”

“
About that…”

A sudden influx of trepidation fills me.
“What?”

“
As much as I don't think I can
influence them much since I won't punish or hex them, you have even
less influence than I,” he says. “Truthfully, I believe that
anything you support they will actively work
again
st
.”

This is beyond ridiculous. Sometimes I am so
through with this county. “Because I am a woman.”

“
You are. And an Envadi woman at that.
Two terrifying counts against you as far as they're
concerned.”

Well past done with this country’s backward
ideas. “I thought we had grown past this.”

“
Perhaps some, but they are
frightened. Aft
er
years of
abuse, they've been chased from their homes. Some, like Annabelle,
had a warlock who treated them better, yet they still understand
how brutal the world is against women. And they all have been
brought up to fear Envadi ways. They won't want to become a
barbari
an
like you very
easily.”

These people have such twisted views of what
barbaric is. “Still, they have accepted Serena and Cynthia.”

“
Not as leaders, or at least what they
think of as a leader. Those girls are guiding these people, but
they’re doing so in their own subtle ways. Slowly teaching and
instructing. You're…more straightforward than th
at
. You speak exactly what's on your
mind.”

“
And an Envadi.”

“
There's that as well.”

Why does he have to keep bringing that up
like it's a bad thing? “Do you think I'm a barbarian as well?”

“
I think…”

“
Go on. You've said enough already
that more isn't going to hurt my feelings.”

He grins, so soft and slowly, it's hard to
watch anything except it. “You are so stubborn.”

“
I try,” I say. “And you are trying to
avoid my question.”

“
Fine, then. You're not at all
barbaric. But you are not only stubborn but brash. And beautiful.”
What did he just say? “Also, you're strangely quirky. Warm milk?
That's only for people on farms that are desperate. Not people who
have access to things like an ice box.”

“
Have you tried it?” Even though
that's what I said, my thoughts are still on the fact he called me
beautiful. The room is growing hotter.

“
I don't need to.”

“
You haven't. I knew it. Tonight we're
going to change that.”

“
We don't have to.”

“
Of course we do.” I stare him down,
and he stares right back. I'd keep it going and win because I'm
just that stubborn, only I think of something more important and
soften my gaze. “Thank you for doing all this. For putting up with
me and helping us out. We couldn't do this without you. I couldn’t
do it without you.”

He leans a little closer. “You're
welco
me
.”

Warmth floods through me, a nice kind of
heat, but somehow it leaves me uncertain. “I'm going to go get that
milk heating,” I say before I hurry off.

It's good that he's helping. We really
need him too. But that's not where my thoughts really want to go.
They want to linger on him, and the warmth I felt from simply being
closer to h
im
.

Chapter
Twenty-Eight

T
he biggest
cavern in our network of caves is full of people we've found. My
hands are shaking as I look at them all.

“
Are you certain you are ready to do
this?” Jack asks.

Serena to my right, Cynthia to my left, and
Jack on the other side of us all as the group gathers. Tawny is
waiting at the back of the crowd with Annabelle, supporting us as
best they can from there. If I were alone, I'd say no. If it'd been
a year ago, I'd say no. If I listened to common sense, I'd say no.
But I've passed all those things and am ready to follow what I know
is right regardless of how hard it's going to be.