Mine to Fear (14 page)

As I help them put things away, they're both
silent and brooding. Something more is going on than they're
saying. Not that they're saying anything.

After we finish, I suggest we go outside.
Once there, I ask, “What's wrong?”

Jack slumps against a tree.

“
We found some people,” Chadwick says.
“They are hiding from law officers in a forest close to town. They
took to Jack, talked to him, and I think they trust
him.”

“
And he wants to bring them here.”
Jack scowls at Chadwick like he's the most vile thing Jack's ever
seen.

“
Why is that a bad thing?” I ask,
agreeing with the thought to bring them here. What's the point of
trying to help people if we don't actually help?

“
He doesn't trust them,” Chadwick
says.

Jack shoots another dirty look at him.

“
Well, you don't.”

Jack says, “If we let them join us,
we're risking everyone here. There's no reason we have to trust
that they won't go to the nearest law officer as soon as they know
where we a
re
.”

“
They are hiding from the law just as
much as we are,” Chadwick counters.

“
But they aren't being hunted as much
as some of the people here. Turning us in could be seen as a way to
make things more lenient for them.”

“
But they won't because they hate the
new laws and won't want to go back to that.”

“
Yet it's the only life they know.
Recognizing their fight against it is useless and
invertible.”

“
That's enough.” Both of them look at
me as if they forgot I was there. I wonder how long they were
arguing over this on the way back. “Look, I know this isn't easy,
for any of us, but I think we should consider it.”

Chadwick looks triumphant, Jack
murderous.

“
I think we should ask the others what
they think,” I continue. “It's their safety in question after
all.”

“
You know they're all going to invite
them in despite the dangers.” Jack huffs.

“
Most likely.” Except maybe Pernilla.
Despite being numb, she's been over protective, like she's worried
that at any moment Stephen will find her and the baby. “But it is
their choice to make.”

“
And I have no say.”

“
I think you do, just not the only
say. You should tell them your concerns because they are very real
and valid.”

He gives me a look. “I didn't think you'd
agree with a warlock like me.”

I take a step toward him. “I agree with the
truth, which is what you're offering.”

“
Which is what I've been trying to
say,” Chadwick says.

I step back. Jack practically growls at
Chadwick.

“
It would probably help your case,
though, if you were a bit calmer and rational.” Or a lot. “Trust
me, my brother loses his temper a lot and it never goes well for
his cause. It has taught me to try to do just the
opposite.”

Jac
k
gives me a wry sort of smile that sends my feet another step
closer to him.

“
You do seem like the type of girl to
go against whatever someone is angry about just to be contrary,” he
says.

“
At least where the safety of the
people I care about is concerned.”

He goes somber. “I'm sorry the Grand
Chancellor has affected your life this way.”

I stare down at the rocks speckling the
dirt. “Me, too.” I look back up at him. “You do know though, that
even if you’re calmly talking to them about the risks, they'll
probably still want to help those people?”

He shrugs. “It's obvious some people do what
they can to help others despite the risks to themselves.”

“
Maybe the warning will at least help
them to be more cautious while they are helping.”

“
I hope it's enough.”

“
I do as well.” Both him and Chadwick
turn to go back into the house. More chores to do, no doubt.
There's plenty of them to go around with the amount of people that
are here.

“
Wait a moment, Jack. Can I speak to
you?” When he stops, so does Chadwick. “Alone.”

Chadwick shoots Jack a dirty look. “I'll
still be close enough you can yell for me if you need to.”

I roll my eyes. “You two really need to sort
your differences.”

“
Like that will happen,” Chadwick
mumbles, but he heads in anyway.

Once he's out of sight, Jack says, “Is there
something you needed from me?”

This feels more personal than I should
probably get with him, but someone has to look out for him, even if
he's a Chardonian warlock. “What you said before, about the others
being willing to possibly change things, did you mean that more for
them, or for you?”

He squeezes his eyes shut tight. “Just the
fact that I'm having this conversation with you should prove I'm
willing to consider things changing.”

Just consider? It's a step in the right
direction at least, and he hasn't told me to lower my head in quite
some time. Though he left off in a way that seems like he has more
to say. “But…”

“
But I'm afraid how I was raised won't
change who I am, even if I get a chance to see things
differently.”

He doesn't give me a chance to think of a
response. He hurries back toward the house quicker than he's moved
before.

Does that mean he's more a risk to us than
even those people who may join us? He doesn't seem to be a threat,
not like I thought he was, just lost. What can I do to help him see
the way? To see these new thoughts and ideas are good things, not
bad? If I can figure it out with him, maybe I can figure it out
with others. Maybe Chardonian warlocks are not such a lost cause
after all.

C
hadwick and I
were right. The others
do
want to help this group trying to avoid the law like us. But
they also seem to take Jack's warning seriously. Pernilla is the
exception, agreeing entirely with Jack, but with everyone else
wanting to help, that's what we're going to do.

We make quick arrangements of how we're
going to fit all five them in the house and feed them, for the
short term at least. Tawny is the best at arranging things. I
suppose living in a castle where there are constant visitors would
make her good at that, though here there's not nearly enough
room.

While she finishes up, I meander to Jack and
Chadwick, who are preparing to go back to the group of people and
invite them to come here. I sure hope this is what we should be
doing.

“
Let me come with,” I
suggest.

“
I don't think that's such a good
idea,” Chadwick says.

I glare at him.

“
You can come if you'd like.” Jack's
response is so calm and reasonable, I have to wonder if my talk
earlier about how you say things made an impact. “But you are
clearly an Envadi, and while that's not as bad of a thing as I used
to believe, people still fear you.”

Not as bad? “Gee, thanks.”

“
He's probably right,” Serena says,
joining the conversation. “You know how much I love and respect
you, but Envadi used to terrify me. Perhaps I should go
instead.”

“
Zade wouldn't like you risking
yourself,” Chadwick says.

“
Let her go,” Jack replies. Maybe the
two of them just like to do whatever they can to contradict one
another. “People do respect her.”

“
Chadwick is an Envadi too,” I throw
out there.

“
I'll stay out of sight,” he
counters.

Men.

“
But I really should go,” Serena says.
“I think they need me to.”

She looks more nervous than I have ever seen
her before. “You'll be fine,” I tell her. “Chadwick and Jack will
take good care of you.”

She eyes them before pulling me outside
where they can't hear us. “That's not what I fear. Of course I
don't want anything to happen to me, but if it does, then it
does.”

“
Then what has you so out of
sorts?”

“
There are people looking up to me. I
haven't done anything to make people look up to me. It all just
happened.”

I place my hand on her arm. “I know, but
you're better at this than you think. You've been doing more to
lead your sisters than anyone else. Just think of these people as
being like your sisters.”

She gives me a nod but is pale.

“
And if anyone gives you guff,” I say,
“we can soften them up with a cup of warm milk.”

Finally she gives me a smile. “Torture them
more like.”

“
Hey, there's not a thing wrong with
warm milk.” But I'm glad to see her more like herself.

We both somber back up as I think about the
task ahead of her.

“
Keep my siblings safe for me,” Serena
whispers to me.

That's a good reason for me to stay behind.
Again. Even though we have a couple of guards, there are a lot of
children here. Bethany could use the help. “I will if you promise
to keep yourself safe.”

“
Agreed.”

“
Don't put yourself in any trouble
while we're gone,” Jack says as he comes out the front
door.

“
Or go looking for it,” Chadwick adds,
following right behind him.

“
Go on you three.”

As soon as they leave, things are anxious.
At least the girls and Ben keep me busy. It's wonderful to
reintroduce them to life and how it should be. I only wish they
didn't need the reintroduction.

We laugh and play, choosing first a game of
tag. Then I teach them a game where one person hides, and the
others have to go find that person, joining them in the hiding spot
until everyone has found them. Trying to squish into a cupboard
with the tiniest girls always results in too much giggling to stay
hidden long.

I keep Abigail with me while Bethany keeps
little Ben. It makes hiding all the harder when one of them starts
to yell. At least it keeps our mind off of things until the girls
grow bored of the game. Then it's back to trying to keep everyone
happy.

Many hours later, which feel like
days, they finally return, a group of strange
rs
with them. Both male and female, though more
women than anything else. Most look tattered and rough like they've
really been through something. Though their faces are lined with
the stress of their situation, they also lighten as they see the
house. Until they spot me. Instantly, their guard is up, and none
of them say anything.

“
Nelly,” Annabelle says, going
straight to a girl who came in with the group. “How did you come to
be here?”

The girl gives me the eye like she doesn't
want to say anything while I'm present. “Father said the Grand
Chancellor has gone too far, and some of his guards attacked the
house. Father and Mother were captured, but I made it out.”

“
Oh, you dear girl. Let's get you
settled somewhere comfortable.”

Nelly glares at me again like she
could never be comfortable while I'm arou
nd, barbarian that I am
. I don't want to go.
I've earned being here as much as the rest of them. But what's the
point? I give up and leave the house, Chadwick trailing after
me.

“
After all we try to do,” I
say.

***

The next day, while I'm continuing to avoid
the newcomers as much as possible, Cynthia returns. They fawn over
her like she's a queen, much like I've seen people do to Tawny. To
these people, I suppose Cynthia might as well be one. Annabelle's
friend must have met her before because Cynthia seems to recognize
her and spends extra time talking to her. It takes a while, but
eventually, she moves away from the crowd and comes with me
outside.

“
What news?” I burst out. “Do you know
where Zade is?”

“
We think he's in the Grand
Chancellor's house somewhere. Probably the dungeon.”

“
The Grand Chancellor has a dungeon?
Of course he does. Any news on his condition?”

“
None. We just know that both him and
Councilman Daniel are there.”

I slouch. “At least we know.”

She is silent as I try to take it all
in. This isn't how things were supposed to be at all. I was going
to come here and give Chadwick his message and then, together with
Zade, the three of us were going to turn things around. Make
Chardonians see how terrible the Grand Chancellor and his ideals
are. Make them see how wrong it is to treat women the way they do.
Instead, we're in hiding, and Zade is in some horrid
dunge
on
.

The weight on me is heavy. Oh so heavy. “How
are we going to break in there?”

“
We'll figure something out,” she
says. “There's one other thing.”

“
What is it?”

She glances back at the house. “The Grand
Chancellor has stopped all trade with other countries.”

“
What?” Exactly the opposite of what
many of the other countries helping us want to happen. I suppose I
shouldn't be surprised by it, though, since he's cared less and
less what other countries think of him.

“
I'm afraid that's not the worst of
it.” She pinches her fingers together at her sides.