Mind Games: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 6) (11 page)

“You were always such a disappointment, Lillim,” he sneered, pointing his famed blade at me and making a face like he’d just bitten into something rancid. “I never should have brought you back.”

“Well, you did! No, take backs!” I snapped even though his words hurt me to the very core of my being. I knew it wasn’t him, knew it was Jormungand using his body to frighten me, but still, it hurt. A lot. Why? Because, deep down, I always wondered if Warthor thought that about me.

Instead of replying, he swung Ymir at me, the blade stretching impossibly to strike the ground at my feet. Fortunately, I wasn’t there. So, as a geyser of frozen water exploded from the spot, I closed the distance between us. It felt so good to sink my fist into his gut, I did it twice more.

He buckled under the force of my blows, but as I brought my hand back to strike him again, he changed forms, appearing before me in the body of the nurse I’d shot and killed when I’d finally succeeded in taking down Jiroushou Manaka so many years ago. I struck her anyway because I couldn’t stop myself. Her red-haired form flew across the sand. She hit with an empty thunk as I stood there, wide-eyed with shock.

“This is how you treat me?” she asked in the voice of a sweet old lady who would never hurt anyone for any reason. “You shoot me? Steal me from my children? You do all of this?” She raised one hand to her cheek and touched it tentatively with her fingers as scarlet spilled from bullet holes in her torso, covering her scrubs in hot, sticky blood.

“You’re not real!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. The sky above us flashed, and I took a step forward, ignoring her crises as I drove my knee into her chin, snapping her head backward. She hit the ground with a thud. “You can’t beat me with illusions, snake. Show yourself!”

The earth beneath my feet rumbled as the nurse turned into a swarm of flitting golden bees. I stumbled, falling backward on my butt as the ground split open like a ripe peach and spilled sulfurous smoke into the air. The scent of rotten eggs made me want to gag as I scurried backward on my hands.

A single hand came forth from the trench, impossibly big as it slammed down next to me, its silver flesh gleaming in the shattered night. Crom Cruach stepped forth from the abyss, his body a gleaming testament to all things godlike. His perfect abdomen glinted as he ran one finger across his stomach.

“Do you know what it’s like to die?” He smiled at me, his melodious voice bringing back the memory of fairy and slamming me over the head with it. “Of course you do. But perhaps not well enough.”

He struck me. It happened so fast, I barely saw it. My head snapped backward as I toppled across the bloody sand. I tried to rise, tried to get my feet under me as the world spun. He seized me by the throat with one hand and with a wicked gleam in his eyes, drove two fingers into the spot where Mattoc had been bound to me.

Pain unlike I’d ever felt ripped through me, scalding my insides and leaving me raw and empty. “Maybe I should remind you what it’s like to lose, all over again.”

Pikes sprung up all around us, but my eyes stopped after reaching only the first one. Skewered upon the weapon was my mother, her black Dioscuri fighting uniform torn open as blood dripped down the weapon plunged through her chest to pool at her feet.

He tugged on something inside me, and as he did so, everything inside me threatened to break. I smashed my forehead into his nose, and he tottered back in a spray of golden blood. His grip loosened a fraction as I reached up and grabbed his wrist.

“White Sparrow!” I cried because I was Lillim Callina, and I knew magic. And I
was
pissed.

Fire exploded from the sky, slamming down on Crom Cruach and encasing him in a pure white cylinder of burning death. I fell backward, his smoking, severed hand still clutching my throat. I tossed it to the ground, and it dissolved into a wisp of super-heated steam as I shut my eyes and concentrated. The smell of roses filled the air as rose vines exploded into being all around us, filling the scarlet dunes with their enormity. They wrapped the cylinder up as the form within writhed and tore at the cylinder.

“You forgot one thing,” I said, chest heaving. “This is all in
my
head, jackass!” And with that, I called upon the ancient and horrible power of the one true snake god. The one born from chaos and anger. The one destined to take on all of Egypt’s greatest gods and crush them beneath his heel.

“Rise and breathe, Apep!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. The bangles wrapped around my wrists exploded with black light as the snakes writhed across my flesh. The world shook as Apep strode forward out of the void wearing crimson armor and holding a bloody khopesh in his left hand.

He wiped away the horizon leaving us standing in the perfect blank emptiness of the void. The wound Jormungand had dealt me vanished in an instant as Apep raised one hand, peering through his splayed fingers at the rose-covered prison of burning doom and thorns wrapped around the world serpent.

The prison shattered, and Jormungand stood there looking like I hadn’t so much as smudged his armor. He turned his mottled head toward Apep and smiled in a way that scared me badly. It was a smile that said he’d planned this from the start, and I was a goddamned fool.

“Come, hatchling,” Apep said, reaching out and grabbing Jormungand by the throat. He hoisted the world serpent into the air like he weighed less than nothing. “Let this old snake teach you a thing or two.”

“Always with the hatchling business,” Jormungand hissed, “but you are bound to a girl, Apep. And this girl is mine.” His grin widened as he gripped Apep’s wrist. He squeezed, and the ancient Egyptian god’s arm evaporated into black smoke. “That makes you
mine
.”

Apep howled, crimson light bursting from his chest as his flesh cracked and split. Jormungand shoved him backward onto the empty expanse of white. Somehow, the white swallowed him completely, leaving us standing there alone.

“Was this your plan?” I asked in disbelief as a tiny shudder ran through me.

“I improvise well,” he replied, crossing the distance between us in an instant. He reached out, grabbing my chin in his hands and twisting my face until I was looking into his flat, empty eyes. I felt myself falling, slipping away. I tried to fight back, tried to push off the snake god’s will, but try as I might, it was impossible. Everything slipped away as he leaned down and planted his lips on mine. He exhaled into me, breathing his power into my lungs. It rushed roughshod through me, obliterating everything I was and leaving an oily residue of despair in its wake.

Chapter 14

Caleb broke our kiss, leaving me standing there, staring at him in the expanse of the yellow room. “Wow, that was better than I thought,” he said, grinning at me. “We should have done this sooner.”

“Wha-what?” I spluttered, trying to take a step backward, but he held me tightly against his body. It was a little scary because I couldn’t get away. Without thinking, I balled my hands into fists. He
was
going to let me go, dammit.

“What’s wrong, Lillim?” Caleb stared at me, his grin slowly fading away. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Get away from me!” I squealed, shoving him backward in my haste to get away from him. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened or where I was, but the Caleb of this world sure as hell wasn’t fooling me. Fortunately, he released me. I stumbled backward and fell to the ground.

It got deathly silent in the yellow room, and I realized everyone had been staring at us. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I tried to figure out what was going on. I was, somehow, back in the yellow room at Mercer & Mercer. But that was impossible. Where was the void? Where was Jormungand? What had he done when he kissed me?

“Um, okay,” Caleb said, backing slowly away from me, his hands out in front of him in supplication. “I thought—”

“Lillim, is everything okay?” Kishi squeaked from a few feet to my left.

I twisted my head to look at her. She was half-hidden behind the couch, hands clasping the back of it hard enough to turn her knuckles white with effort. She looked like a mouse trying to be brave before it bolted back into its hole. I didn’t quite blame her. If I had a hidey hole, I’d be heading toward it at top speed.

“Yeah.” I shook my head as I got to my feet. My muscles ached worse than they had the day after I’d run a marathon without training. “I sort of forgot where I was.” I looked sheepishly at Caleb who was still staring at me like I was a crazy person which was a little, I don’t know, rude? He was the one trapped in here after all.

“I guess the big guy’s kisses will do that to a girl,” Masataka said from right behind me. I spun so quickly, I lost my footing and toppled to the ground like a broken top. He stood there, staring down at me. Thoughts flashed through his eyes, but none of them seemed like they involved helping me, which wasn’t altogether unsurprising.

He turned his nose up and stepped over my prone body, making his way toward the corner where all the books and magazines were stacked. “Cool, the new ones are here.”

“Masataka,” Walter the orderly who looked exactly like Warthor Ein said from the doorway. “That’s no way to behave. Help Lillim to her feet.”

Masataka stopped in mid-step, one foot suspended in the air as his gaze shifted from me to Walter and back again. The room got deathly quiet, so quiet, I could hear each and every person inside hold their respective breaths at once.

Walter took a step inside, his white scrubs gleaming in the fluorescent light of the room. “Masataka, do you need to take a time out?” He asked. “Or are you ready to be sociable with Lillim?” He gestured toward me.

Masataka opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish, probably trying to decide what he needed to do to avoid getting a shot in the rump and being sent away to his room for the rest of the day. I’ll be honest, it seemed a little unfair to me even if he was the one being a dick.

“I—” he started, eyes glancing around furtively.

“I’m okay,” I said, cutting off Masataka before he could utter anymore sounds. I got to my feet again. If this falling on my ass thing kept up, I was going to invest in butt pads. “I just got startled.” I shot a glance at Caleb who was doing his best to look inconspicuous despite his huge size. I immediately wished I hadn’t. Just looking at him was enough to make me remember the feel of his lips on mine, the touch of his skin. Even if this was some kind of fairy tale, and not real life, I knew I’d forgive him if he just tried a little. Still, after my little outburst a minute ago, that was unlikely to happen.

I shook my head, feeling my cheeks flush as I pushed the memory down into the tips of my toes. Now was not the time to think about that, if I did, I might start crying, and that wouldn’t help at all.

“Are you sure?” Walter asked, approaching me very slowly, like I might run away or freak out if he moved too quickly. Which I wouldn’t, you know, probably.

“Yes.” I nodded furiously, sucking in a slow breath to help calm my shattered nerves. This was
not
the place to freak out. “Is Dr. Emile ready to see me yet?”

“Yes,” he replied. The word was crisp as he stared at me, icy eyes seeming to bore into my brain and find my thoughts wanting. He nodded very slowly, each up and down movement spanning only the barest fraction of a degree in either direction.

“Awesome,” I said, bounding past him toward the door leading in and out of the yellow ward. It always struck me as odd that there was only one exit, and it was through this tiny door, especially because it was usually locked. What if there was a fire? We’d all be trapped inside to burn to death or worse.

Then again, the whole place probably wasn’t even real. Only a few minutes ago, I’d fought Jormungand, if you could call it that. I’d been routed in a heartbeat by the snake god. I was starting to suspect he’d engineered the whole thing to get me to call upon Apep. It made me wonder if it had ever been the real Caleb, or if he’d just been using the illusion to make me think the real Caleb had shown up.

The only question was why had he wanted me to call upon Apep? Did he need me to do it to gain control of the Egyptian god? If that was the case, he’d be even more unstoppable. That didn’t exactly sound like buckets of sunshine, and I tried to shut out the horrible feeling swelling in my gut. It would be just my luck to empower the being using my body like a puppet. Now that it had stolen my last weapon, what was I going to do? I was on my own, trapped in my head by a Norse deity. How the hell was I supposed to fight that?

I absentmindedly rubbed at my wrists where the bangles had been, but felt nothing other than my own flesh as Walter ushered me out into the hallway and toward Dr. Emile’s office. We moved steadily in silence for several seconds, which wasn’t that odd, since Walter rarely talked. Honestly, I didn’t see what Kishi saw in him. For one thing, he was all skin and bones, and the way he looked at you was just totally creepy.

Then again, he’d looked the same way in the other world and had that same ‘I’m so much smarter than you’ look too which I guess wasn’t that surprising since everything felt circular. It was clear one set of characters was more than loosely based on the others, the only question now was, which one was the original?

“So did you miss me?” I asked, glancing over at him as we moved down the corridor. “I missed you. You’re my favorite nurse in the yellow ward.”

“I’m the only nurse in the yellow ward,” he said with a sigh. “And of course I missed you, Lillim. I miss all my kids.” He smiled at me, revealing the barest flash of teeth.

“I don’t believe you,” I said as we reached the door to the office. Something about the plain white door struck me as odd even though I didn’t quite know why. I reached out toward it, but before I touched it, Walter’s hand snaked past me to twist the knob.

“Dr. Emile,” he called, barely cracking open the door. “Lillim is here to see you.”

“Excellent,” Dr. Emile said from inside, voice muffled and distant sounding. “Send her in, please.”

Walter pushed the door the rest of the way open, and I found myself staring into the darkened office. It was more or less like I remembered it with the bookshelves still anchored to the walls, only now the couch was lime green. Dr. Emile was sitting in a blue recliner with his feet up on a small wooden table, its surface scarred and scratched from use. He didn’t even bother to put them back on the ground. Instead, he just waved for us to come inside. It struck me as rude.