Mind-Body Workbook for PTSD (18 page)

How I Should Be in My Most Important Relationship with bridging Map

The release of body tension means you have moved from the I-System loop into the natural loop (see figure 5.1), where you can now function naturally. Although you still have thoughts about how you should be in your relationship, this release of body tension frees you to carry on in the relationship in a totally different way.

1. In this mind-body state, how do you act?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

2. How can this map help you in your relationship?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   When your overactive I-System switches off, you let go of your requirements about your most important relationship and create new opportunities.
   

5. Do a How I Want to Be map.
Inside
the circle, write how you would like to be right here, right now (for example,
organized, healthy, strong, calm, brave
). Be specific! After you have listed at least six qualities, write the opposite of each quality
outside
the circle. Connect the quality inside the circle with a line to its opposite outside the circle. If needed, see the sample map that follows.

I want to be right here, right now map

Sample Map: I want to be right here, right now map

1. How do the qualities
   inside
   the circle make you feel?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

2. How do the qualities
   outside
   the circle make you feel?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   A negative emotional response to any of the qualities outside the circle means the qualities inside are requirements. The qualities outside the circle are your triggers. Remember, a trigger is an event or thought that doesn’t meet your requirement, and your requirement activates your I-System. Once your requirement is defused, there it is no longer a trigger.
   

3. List your requirements and triggers about how you want to be:
   

   

4. Can you ever do enough to meet the requirements inside the circle? No. Once a belief is a requirement, enough is never enough, and you end up with never-ending negative self-beliefs.
   

Day Three     Date:____________

1. During the day, what requirements for yourself were you able to defuse?

Your I-System drives you to believe you are just a bagful of requirements.

2. List your requirements for yourself that you continue to struggle with:

_______________

_______________

_______________

Please note that mind-body bridging is a gentle, step-by-step process, and each step frees your ability to heal yourself. You’re starting to experience yourself as much greater than who you thought you were.

3. Do a My Most Troubling Requirement for Myself map. Choose the requirement you are having the most trouble with from the previous list and write it in the following oval. Take several minutes to write your thoughts outside the oval. Work quickly, without editing your thoughts. Describe your body tension at the bottom of the map.

My most troubling requirement for myself Map

Body Tension:

______________________________

______________________________

1. Is your mind cluttered or clear?
   

   ______________________________
   

2. List your requirements:
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

3. Are any of the items on the map related to your traumatic event? Yes ____ No ____
   

4. Do the map again, writing the same requirement in the oval. Before you continue writing,listen to background sounds, feel your body’s pressure on your seat, sense your feet on the floor, and feel the pen in your hand. Once you’re settled, keep feeling the pen in your hand and write any thoughts that come to mind. As you write, keep paying attention to background sounds, feeling the pen in your hand, and watching the ink go onto the paper. Write for several minutes.

my most troubling requirement for myself Map with Bridging

1. How is this map different from the previous one?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

2. How would your life be different if the mind-body state you had while doing this map were present every day?
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

   ______________________________
   

Day Four     Date:____________

Notice how negative thoughts about your trauma are used by your depressor, spun into storylines, and embedded into your body. Over time, this negative self-talk turns into the mind-body belief that you are damaged. This is a negative self-belief, a dysfunctional mind-body state filled with negative thoughts about your traumatic experience.

1. During the day, notice any negative self-beliefs related to your trauma. What was the impact on your life?

2. List three negative self-beliefs about your traumatic event:

_______________

_______________

_______________

a. In the oval, write the most troubling negative self-belief from your list. Around the oval, jot your thoughts quickly, without editing them. Describe your body tension at the bottom of the map. If needed, see the sample map that follows.

My Most Troubling Negative Self-Belief Map