Military Daddy (3 page)

What he should do about it—if anything—had kept him awake most of the last couple nights.

She was searching in the depths of her purse for money to pay for her drink and she hadn't seen him. Should he stay out of sight until she was gone or walk up to the counter as though it didn't matter? It wasn't in him to take the coward's way out. He closed the distance between them in a few steps.

“I'll pay for the lady's drink,” he said to the teenage boy manning the cash register.

Annie's eyes flew open wide as she stared at him in shock. Her surprised look vanished as a frown deepened the furrow between her brows. To Shane she looked tired, as well as mad.

Before she could speak, he said, “I didn't think cola was good for pregnant women.”

“It's lemon-lime—not that it's any of your business what I drink. What are you doing here?” she demanded.

He felt a tug of admiration for the way she stood up to him. “Picking up a quart of oil for my car and getting a burrito. Not that it's any of your business. How much?” He directed his question to the clerk.

The boy rattled off the price and Shane pulled a ten from his wallet. Annie seemed to be having trouble finding a comeback. After a full five seconds of silence, she said, “I can pay for my own drink.”

“Too late.” Shane took his change, dropped the coins in the front pocket of his jeans and tucked the bills into his wallet.

Annie pulled herself up to her full height, which wasn't much over five feet. “I thought I made it plain that I didn't intend to see you anymore.”

“You did, but Junction City isn't a big town. We may run into each other again.” He nodded his thanks to the clerk and picked up the white plastic sack with his purchases.

“I was serious when I said I didn't want or need anything from you,” she insisted.

“I know you were.” He walked to the door and pushed it open. The bell overhead jangled and the sounds of the street traffic grew louder. “The trouble is, Annie, you forgot to ask
me
what I want to do about our little problem. I do have a say in this, no matter what you think.”

“What is it you want to do?”

“I'm not sure yet, but I'll let you know when I reach a decision.” He walked out the door and let it swing shut behind him. He glanced back as he stepped into his car. Annie watched him from inside the doorway. She was biting her lower lip.

Shane felt the stirrings of sympathy for her. He didn't want to add to the worries she carried. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but he knew he couldn't let Annie Delmar just walk out of his life.

 

Early Monday morning Annie and Crystal sped into the Windward's parking lot. Pulling around to the area reserved for staff, they both bolted out of the car and rushed in the side door of the building. For once it wasn't Crystal and Annie's poor excuse for a car that had made them late. This time it had been Annie's fault. The sudden onset of morning sickness had stopped her cold just as they were leaving the house.

Inside the building, the women dashed to the locker room, where they quickly changed into gray pin-striped smocks and gray pants. Annie tossed her own clothes and purse into her locker and shut the door. Running a hand over her hair to tame the flyaways, she took a deep breath and followed Crystal into the windowless, drab room that served as a cafeteria and meeting room for the hotel staff. Four other housekeepers sat at one of the tables. Their supervisor was standing at the front of the room.

Mr. Decker looked at the clock on the wall. The hands pointed to two minutes after eight. “I'm glad you ladies could join us.” His sour tone made Annie wince.

“I'm sorry, Mr. Decker,” she said. “It won't happen again.”

She needed to make sure of that because she really needed this job. She would have a baby to take care of soon.

The thought hit her out of the blue: she was keeping this baby.

Sometime between tossing and turning half the night trying to make a decision and now, the answer had been found. This was her baby. She would love it and raise it and give thanks for the blessing every day for the rest of her life.

“All right, let's get started.” Mr. Decker was short and as thin as a toothpick. His unnaturally black hair was combed carefully over his bald crown, but his gray pin-striped suit was meticulously pressed with a carefully folded white handkerchief peeking out of his breast pocket. He picked up a clipboard from the table and scanned it quickly.

“We have thirty-two guests checking out this morning. Crystal and Annie, you will take the ground floor of the west wing.”

Annie relaxed as he finished giving the other maids their assignments in English or in fluent Spanish for the women who needed it. The west wing was longer and therefore had more rooms, but she knew Crystal would help her if she fell behind. After only a month on the job, Annie still wasn't as speedy as Crystal. Crystal had been a maid at this hotel for over a year.

After morning assignments were finished, Annie loaded her cart with fresh towels and linens and replenished her bottle of glass cleaner. At the first room on the west wing, she knocked briskly. There was no answer. She swiped her key card and pushed open the door as she announced herself. Stepping over the threshold, she stared in dismay at the mess awaiting her.

Trash overflowed from the wastebasket and dirty clothes were scattered around the room. The bedding was piled on the floor below the foot of the mattress. A large pizza box lay open on the table. It was empty, but one upside-down slice had made it to the floor, where the cheese and tomato sauce were still soaking into the carpet.

This wasn't going to be a quick turndown and wipe. She checked the dresser top. Of course the occupants hadn't bothered to leave a tip for the poor soul who had to clean up after them. With a sigh, she began picking up articles of clothing. Her day may have started out badly, but she wasn't going to let it get her down. She was having a baby!

It took her almost thirty minutes to finish the room, but when she'd pulled up the clean spread and tucked it beneath the freshly fluffed pillows, she straightened and looked around with pride. She wasn't the fastest maid, but she always did a good job. There was something satisfying about creating order out of disorder. If only it were as easy to straighten out her life.

By four o'clock she was exhausted and she had earned only a single five-dollar tip. It would be enough to put a few gallons of gas into her car, but she wouldn't be able to get her flat spare tire fixed or put any money aside. The list of things the baby would need almost made her cringe.

In the locker room she sat on the bench and rubbed her aching feet. Closing her eyes, she whispered softly, “The Lord will provide.”

She was learning that faith was a tricky thing. Just when she thought she had a firm grasp on it, something happened that made her doubts come back. Things like a day with lousy tips.

Being a Christian isn't about material stuff.

Annie tried hard to keep that in mind. It was about eternal life and about His love. She couldn't know His plan for her, but was it wrong to hope that it might include enough money to get a new pair of shoes?

She glanced at the clock as she waited for Crystal to join her. When her roommate rushed in ten minutes later, her face was flushed and she looked as nervous as a cat in a dog pound. Opening her locker, she grabbed her purse, then tossed her coat and her clothes over her arm. Glancing over her shoulder, Crystal said, “Come on. Let's get out of here.”

“Aren't you going to change? You know Mr. Decker doesn't like us taking our uniforms home.”

“He's gone for the day. He'll never know. What are you waiting for?” Crystal pulled open the door to the hallway, checked both ways, then hurried to the exit.

Annie followed her, puzzled by her odd behavior. “Crystal, what's wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I want to get home, that's all. I'm meeting Willie in half an hour.”

“Who is Willie?”

“I met him last night at Kelly's Diner and I think he's the one. He's so cool. I told him I could give him a lift home after his shift is over in the evenings. That is—” she paused and looked back “—if I can borrow your car? You don't mind, do you?”

“Oh, Crystal.” Annie didn't try to hide her disappointment.

“What? This guy could be the one. You don't know him.”

“And neither do you.”

“Don't be that way. He makes me feel special.” Crystal pushed open the outside door but stopped dead in her tracks with a sharp gasp. Just as quickly she relaxed and said, “Oh, it's you.”

When Annie came out the door, she saw Shane standing beside her car. Her breath caught in her throat. Dressed in jeans and a dark blue sweater that accented the color of his eyes, he looked far too handsome and exactly like the man she had fallen for that night three months ago.

Calling on all her willpower, she hardened her heart against a sudden and frightening desire to step into his embrace and rest her head on his shoulder.

He nodded at Crystal but walked past her to stand in front of Annie. “We need to talk.”

S
hane was prepared for a verbal battle, but to his surprise, Annie didn't tell him to take a hike. She edged away from him, toward her car. He had the distinct impression that she was afraid of him. That was the last thing he wanted.

She licked her lips quickly, then said, “We don't have anything to discuss. How did you find me?”

He smiled, trying to put her at ease. “Let me buy you a cup of coffee and I'll tell you.”

“I don't drink coffee.”

“Then make it a cup of tea or a lemon-lime soda—anything you want. Annie, I'm not going to go away until we've had a rational discussion about our baby.”

He had come here intending to do just that, but now he found himself wanting something different. His motives had been hidden even from himself until he'd seen her face today. She looked tired, sad, vulnerable. That vulnerability was what he remembered most about her. It was why he had looked for her after their night together. It was why he couldn't get her out of his mind.

Now that he had found her again, he wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to get to know her better. He needed to find out if their one bittersweet meeting might have been the beginning of something special.

Crystal shifted from one foot to the other beside the car. “I need to get going. I told Willie I'd meet him after work.”

Annie took another step toward the car. “I need to get home.”

She was making it obvious that she had no desire, hidden or otherwise, to spend time with him. Shane took a step back and held up his hands. “All right, but I'll be here tomorrow…and the day after that and the day after that. Sooner or later, you're going to have to talk to me.”

He watched her indecision play across her face. She chewed the corner of her bottom lip for a few seconds, then she turned to her friend and held out the car keys. “You go, Crystal. I'll be home later. Tell Marge that I went to get a cup of cocoa with Corporal Ross.”

Crystal took the keys. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

Relieved by her change of heart, he said, “I'll see that she gets home.”

Annie's smile looked strained, but she nodded. “I'm sure. You go on.”

Shane worked to keep his elation in check. He didn't know where any of this was going, but at least he was doing something. She was willing to talk to him and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

As Crystal drove away, he faced Annie and asked, “Where would you like to go?”

“The hotel has a restaurant. We can go there.”

“Fine by me. Lead the way.”

It was too early in the evening for the Italian-themed bistro to be busy yet, but the aromas coming from the kitchen were tempting enough to make Shane hope he could convince Annie to have dinner with him. Once they were seated in a corner booth out of earshot of the other customers, he leaned back against the green plaid fabric and smiled to put her at ease. “Crystal told my friend where you and she work.”

Annie frowned at him. He shrugged. “You asked how I found you.”

“Oh.” She rearranged the salt and pepper shakers and moved the green ceramic container of sugar and sweetener packets to the center of the table to form a straight line. She seemed to realize what she was doing and quickly clasped her hands together. The clink of tableware and muted voices from the other diners did little to fill the void of silence.

“So where do we start?” he asked as he studied her face. She was pretty in an exotic way with her long, dark hair and deep brown eyes. Dressed in a simple white blouse with short sleeves and a pair of black slacks, she seemed to want to blend in rather than stand out from the crowd. Her lips were full, and he remembered the way they had softened when he'd kissed her.

Was the sweetness he had tasted that night really there or had it been part of a dream? They were going to have a child together, but he realized he knew almost nothing about this woman. He wanted to know more. A lot more.

She met his gaze. “You tell me where to start. You're the one who insisted on this meeting. I still don't understand why. I thought I was letting you off easy.”

“Easy? You call this easy? Every day of my life I'm going to wonder if I had a son or a daughter. You intend to go your merry way and I'll never know where he is. I'll never know if some other man is reading him the stories he likes or playing catch with him or taking him fishing.”

Pressing his lips into a tight line, Shane looked down and struggled to keep the old pain in check. The waitress arrived to take their orders, and it gave him a moment to compose himself.

When she left, Annie said softly, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make light of the situation. There's something more going on here, isn't there?”

He was surprised by her perception. Shaking his head, he said, “It's a long story. I don't want to bore you with my ancient history.”

“You wanted to talk. I'm trying to listen.”

Touched by her compassion, Shane considered how much he should tell her. If he had any hope of convincing her to let him share in the decisions she had to make, he would need to gain a level of her trust. Wasn't that worth exposing a part of his past, even if it was a painful part?

Slowly he began telling his tale. “I was engaged about a year ago. Her name was Carla. She had a little boy named Jimmy. He was the cutest, smartest little kid you have ever met. At four he knew the entire alphabet.”

He paused, remembering those happy times, remembering how proud he had been of Jimmy.

“He was your son?”

“No, but that didn't matter. It didn't matter to me, anyway. It was easy to love Jimmy and to think of him as my own. I believed that I was in love with Carla, but it was Jimmy who got me to thinking about making us one big happy family. For Carla it was a different story.”

“How so?”

“Jimmy's father had split right after Jimmy was born. He never kept in touch, never paid support—you know the type.”

The deep bitterness in his voice momentarily took her aback. “I've met a few guys like that in my time.”

“One day he showed up again. Carla decided life would be better for Jimmy with his ‘real' father. She broke it off with me, went back to him and they moved away.”

“That must have been rough.”

“It was. Jimmy didn't know his ‘real' father from a hole in the ground. I was the only father figure he'd had in his life. Carla was an adult. She made her choice and I hope she is happy, but Jimmy didn't get a choice. I hope he's happy, but I'll never know for sure.”

“So what do you want from me?”

He stared down at his hands clasped together on the tabletop, then looked up and met her eyes. “I keep asking myself that same question. I guess I want to know that you have all you need to make a good life for my son or daughter.”

The waitress came back just then with their order. While Shane added a spoon of sugar to his coffee, Annie toyed with the marshmallows floating on her cup of hot chocolate. She hadn't expected him to reveal so much about himself. She hadn't expected to empathize with his feelings of loss or to find herself wanting to comfort him. What was it about him that broke through her defenses?

He had been a one-night stand. She had been with dozens of men in those years when addiction ruled her life and made getting another drink more important than food or shoes, more important than friends or family. The list of loved ones damaged by her sickness and her bitter refusals to get help was longer than her arm.

“Shane, I respect that you want to be involved, I do, I just don't see how I can promise you anything.”

“I'm not looking for any promises. I just need to know that both of you are going to be okay.”

“I'm okay without your help.”

A lopsided grin made a dimple appear in his right cheek. Why did he have to be so cute and so genuine?

“I'm sure you are, but it seems that I'm not. Can't you see some way to…I don't know…to let me give you money to help with expenses?”

Annie's sympathy for Shane splintered like a cheap glass on a tile floor. Shards of it pricked her hard-won self-respect.

“I don't take money from men.”

“Oh, man, that's not what I meant. Not at all. I'm sorry. I didn't even think—”

“Fine.” She cut him off, wanting only to get home and curl up in her bed with her head under the covers. She started to get out of the booth, but he stopped her by laying a hand over hers on the table.

“Please don't go. I'm a total jerk. Ask anyone who knows me. I put my foot in my mouth fifty times a day.”

The sincerity of his plea gave her pause, but it was the look in his eyes that made her stay. “That must make it hard to march in formation.”

He relaxed, a ghost of a smile curving his lips. “I'm lucky—in my outfit the horses do all the legwork.”

He drew his hand away slowly. Oddly she wished he hadn't. For a tiny fraction of time she had felt comforted by his touch.

It was ridiculous. She didn't need his help, his money or his comfort.

“Can you accept that I'm a well-meaning, if inept, person?” he asked.

“I guess I can accept that.”

“Good. I honestly do want to help. Tell me how.”

It would be so easy to give in to his pleading and let him shoulder the responsibility of providing the things she and the baby would need. Things like their own place to live, a crib, even clothes for the baby. But to do that would be like going backward in her recovery.

Once, she had used alcohol as her crutch to make life bearable. She wouldn't substitute that addiction for a dependence on this man, even if it seemed harmless on the surface. Her track record with relationships didn't include any that had been harmless.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think the best thing for both of us is to go our separate ways.”

“I have rights as a parent.” His tone carried a new determination.

So he wasn't harmless after all. “What are you saying?”

“Under the law, I have the same right to this baby that you do.”

“Is that a threat? If you think you can take my baby away, you had better think again. I'm not afraid of you.”

He held up both hands and shook his head. “It's not a threat. I'm not saying I would make the better parent.” Leaning forward, he clasped his hands together. “I have no intention of trying to take this baby away from you. I'm only saying that I have an equal responsibility to take care of him or her.”

She wasn't sure she believed him. Trusting men was as foreign to her as owning diamond earrings.

He sat back and wrapped his hands around his mug of coffee. “You should drink your cocoa before it gets cold.”

Annie lifted the cup to her lips and took a sip of the rich, sweet chocolate. It helped steady her nerves and gave her a chance to think about what she needed to do next. Shane was making it evident that he wasn't about to go away.

Suspecting he was right about the law, she had no intention of making it a legal matter. Even with the testimony of Marge as her sponsor, Annie doubted that a judge would overlook her past in a custody battle. For the moment, Corporal Shane Ross had the upper hand.

Would he turn out to be a dog in the manger? Once he got what he wanted, would he lose interest? His story about the little boy he had lost to a deadbeat dad didn't mean that he wouldn't follow the same pattern. Perhaps instead of fighting him, she should wait and let time do the work for her. Not many of the men she'd known came through on their promises. Why should she think Shane would be any different?

She couldn't quite silence the small voice in the back of her mind that told her this man
was
different.

“Have you thought about adoption?” he asked after a few minutes.

“I've considered it, but I want to keep my baby.” She'd admitted the thought aloud for the first time and it felt right.

“That's good to know. Thank you for telling me.”

Had she made a mistake? Confiding in him was easier than she'd expected. She quickly resolved not to give him any more information. “I should be going.”

“But you haven't finished your drink.”

“I want to leave now.”

He looked ready to argue but finally nodded and said, “Sure.”

He motioned to the waitress and paid the check. Annie picked up her purse and headed for the door.

Outside, he walked beside her to the staff parking spaces, stopping beside a low-slung red Mustang with a wide black stripe down the hood. The car was obviously not new, but it was in pristine condition. He unlocked and opened the door for her. As she got in, she took note of the difference between his vehicle and hers. His didn't have rips in the fabric of the front seat. His radio had buttons, while hers didn't even have the knobs it had come with. She was pretty sure his heater worked no matter how cold it got. Judging by this, he could afford to pay child support.