Authors: Patricia Davids
Annie saw his discomfort and took pity on him. The man was six feet tall and as good-looking as the day was longâif a woman liked the blue-eyed cowboy type with a Texas drawl that made every word in the English language sound as soft as a cotton ball. And he was embarrassed because he didn't remember her name.
“It's okay. It's not like we had any intention of becoming best friends.”
Looking up, a slight grin pulled at the corner of his mouth. “My list of friends is pretty short. I'd be honored to add you.”
Oh, yes, he was as sweet and kind as she rememberedâand she was about to drop a bomb on his life.
“As for finding you,” she continued, “that wasn't hard. It's a big Army base, but how many stables are there here?”
“One.”
“Right. I called and spoke to your captain yesterday and he told me when you would be here today.”
Annie glanced at her watch. She couldn't stay much longer. It was time to get it over with.
This is my step number nine: I need to make amends for the harm I caused. I need to admit the truth.
Was she doing the right thing? She wasn't sure she should burden this man with her news. Telling him wouldn't change anything, but Marge believed that he had a right to know, and Annie believed in Marge's wisdom. She had seen it in action time and time again.
Annie raised her head. She had come a long way in the last year even if she had slipped up one night. She could be proud of what she had accomplished since she'd turned her life over to God. Something good would come of this because it had to be part of His plan.
“Corporal Rossâ”
“Call me Shane.”
“Okay, Shane, I'll get to the point. I'm here because I'm pregnant.”
S
hane blinked once, not certain he had heard Annie correctly. He opened his mouth but closed it quickly without posing the question that dangled on the tip of his tongue.
“Aren't you going to ask me if I'm sure it's yours?” she demanded.
The mixture of defiance and pain in her voice made him glad he hadn't spoken that thought aloud.
“I don't think you would have gone to the trouble of finding me if you weren't sure.”
Her attitude softened slightly but not completely. “That's right.”
She shot to her feet, clutching the strap of her scuffed black vinyl purse. “Okay, then, I guess we're done.”
He stood in surprise. “Whoa! You can't just lay this on me and then scoot out the door.”
“Why not? I told you I didn't want anything from you.”
“You've just told me I'm going to be a father. I need more than a minute to process that information.”
“Sorry, but one minute is all you get. Look, neither one of us wanted this. We were both looking for a good time, not for a family. My counselor convinced me that you deserve to know. Now you know. From here on out it is my problem and I'll handle it as I see fit.”
“I'm not sure I agree with that. What are you going to do?”
“I'm going to leave here and get to my job before I'm late. Have a nice life.”
She stepped around him and headed for the doorway. Was she kidding? She had hit him with this brick and now she was going to split? As she started to pull open the door, he reached over her head and pushed it shut with a bang. “Wait just a minute!”
The look she sent him was twice as sharp as the nails he had put in Jasper's shoe. “Take your hand off this door.”
“I will as soon as we settle a few things.”
She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Such as?”
“Do you plan to keep the baby?”
“None of your business.”
“I hope you aren't considering an abortion.”
“That is also none of your business.”
“If it wasn't any of my business, you wouldn't be here. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or what I'm supposed to say, but this isn't just your problem.”
She drew a deep breath. “I have to decide what is best for me. You don't get a say in that.”
It was plain she didn't want his help or his interference. If she didn't want him involved, wasn't that her right? Past experience had certainly proven he wasn't father material. Why should this woman think differently? She barely knew him and yet she had already made that decision. He pulled his hand away from the door frame. “Okay, you need to do what is best for you. I guess I can understand that.”
“Good.”
Shane stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped away from her. “I'm sorry this happened. If there is anything you needâ¦anythingâ¦let me know.”
“I won't need anything, and you don't need to worry that I'll show up again looking for support for this kid. For what it's worth, I'm sorry you had to find out like this. You seem like a nice guy.”
He quickly crossed the room to the desk. Picking up a pen and business card, he scribbled his cell number. Returning to her side, he handed it to her. “This is my number. Could you at least let me know what you plan to do? I really want to know.”
She hesitated, but took it from him. “I'll think about it.”
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Annie pulled open the door and walked out of the office with her heart pounding like a drum in her chest. Her hands felt ice-cold and her legs were barely able to hold her up. She prayed she could make it to her car without falling down. She was bad at confrontations.
Corporal Shane Ross had no idea how much it had cost her to maintain her mask of indifference. At least the dreaded meeting was over and she could stop worrying about it. Now it was time to look ahead and make a plan.
She managed to reach her car. A soldier stood on the other side of her beat-up peacock-blue hatchback, chatting through the rolled-down window with her roommate in the passenger seat. Crystal was laughing at something the man said. Annie glanced back. Shane stood just outside the building, watching her. His face wore a puzzled frown. Who could blame him?
The sudden
clop-clop
of hooves startled her as a soldier walked past, leading two brown horses with black manes and tails. She had heard a lot about Shane's unit from him during their one evening together. At first she had thought he had been teasing about being in the cavalry, but it had soon become apparent that he and his friends really did ride horses in a modern army.
Shane had spoken with quiet pride about his participation in the inaugural parade in Washington, D.C. She could still see his shy smile and the sparkle in his blue eyes when he spoke about it. He hadn't been the best-looking guy in the bar that night, but there had been something about him. In him she thought she had seen someone like herself. Someone without anyone.
Yeah, and look where that got me.
Opening the car door, she climbed in and slammed it shut. If only she could shut out her memories as easily.
Crystal leaned toward her. “How did it go?”
“I'll tell you later.”
“Did you see those horses?”
“I saw them.” Annie tried twice to get the key in the ignition before it finally slid into place. Her hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Please, please let it start.
“Private Avery was just telling me that we can have a tour of the stable and even pet some of the horses.”
“We don't have time. We're going to be late as it is.”
“Come back someday when you can stay longer,” Avery suggested. “I'd be happy to give you a private tour.”
“I'd like that,” Crystal gushed.
The car's temperamental engine turned over. Annie breathed a silent prayer of thanks, then backed out of the parking space.
“'Bye,” Crystal called, waving as they drove off.
“Roll up the window,” Annie snapped. “It's freezing in here and you know my heater doesn't work.”
Crystal did as she was told. “You didn't have to be rude to Avery. He only wanted to let me see his horses.”
“It was just another pickup line.”
“It was not. Sometimes I think you don't like men.”
“I don't dislike them. It's that I don't trust themâand neither should you.” If Crystal couldn't see that, Annie wasn't going to waste her breath trying to convince her.
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Shane turned away from the sight of Annie's car disappearing down the street. He knew he'd never hear from her again. She had already decided he had no business being a father.
Avery came over to stand beside him. “What did the lady want?”
“I thought I told you to grease the wagon wheels.”
“Lee had already taken care of it. Obviously your friend didn't bring you good news.”
“She told me I'm going to be a daddy and then she told me to get lost.”
“What?”
“Do I have a sign over my head that says
Rotten Parent Material?
Do I have
Loser
written on my forehead?” Shane began walking toward the farrier shed so quickly that Avery had to run to keep up.
“I don't think you really want me to answer that.”
“You're right, I don't. Now, go away.”
It seemed that Avery couldn't take a hint. He followed Shane inside the building and asked, “What are you going to do about your pregnant friend?”
Tossing his jacket aside, Shane slipped the strap of his leather apron over his head and tied it at his waist. “Annie Delmar wants nothing to do with me. In light of that fact, I'm going to respect her wishes.”
Moving back to Jasper's side, Shane bent over and picked up the horse's hind leg. “This shoe needs to be replaced, too. Hand me the clinch cutter and the pull-offs.”
Avery walked to the workbench at the back of the room and returned with the requested tools. Handing them to Shane, he said, “You can't drop your responsibilities like a hot rock.”
“It's not my call.”
“I beg to differ. It certainly is.”
“Not according to Annie.”
“You have the same rights that she does.”
Shane tilted his head to see his friend better. “What do you mean?”
“The law is plain on this. A father has the same rights that a mother does. Well, almost the same. You do have to prove that the child is yours.”
Jasper tried to pull his foot away and Shane let him put it down. Ordinarily the big gelding didn't mind having his hooves worked on, but he seemed to sense Shane's emotional turmoil. Patting the horse's side to reassure him, Shane drew a calming breath.
He knew what it was like to be the child waiting for a father that never showed up. “The law doesn't matter. I'm not going to fight Annie so I can force her to let me see my kid every other weekendâor less. That's not what a family is.”
Avery said, “This doesn't sound like you. You've always been Mr. Responsible.”
“I guess you don't know me as well as you think.” Shane picked up Jasper's hoof again and began straightening the tips of the last few nails holding the worn shoe in place.
Maybe never knowing this child would be better than loving him and then having to watch some other man step in and take him away. Onlyâ¦this was his child. How could he pretend it didn't matter? It might matter, but what choice did he have?
“When I start a family, I'll be married and I'll have a job that lets me come home every night. My kids are going to know who their daddy is.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Avery said, “Your plan is good except for one small detail. You've already started your family.”
Struggling to keep his frustration and disappointment from showing, Shane said, “Look, I'm not even sure she's keeping the baby.”
“If she plans to give it up for adoption, she'll need your consent or it won't be legal now that she's admitted it's your kid.”
“I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.” Picking up the long-handled tool that looked like an oversize pair of curved pliers, Shane positioned the tips under the heel of the horseshoe and began carefully rocking it back and forth to pry out the nails without damaging Jasper's hoof.
“I think you're making a mistake, but it's your life.”
“Thanks for noticing. Be sure and shut the door on your way out.”
He didn't want to talk about it anymore. If he didn't know how he felt about the situation, he sure couldn't explain it to someone else. He needed time alone to think about what he should do, if anything. When Avery didn't move and didn't reply, Shane tugged the horseshoe loose, let go of the horse's foot and straightened to face him.
“Even if I want to take some level of responsibility for this baby, Annie made it very plain that she doesn't want that. I don't even know where she lives or how to contact her to discuss it.”
“I don't know where she lives, but I can tell you that she works at the Windward Hotel out on the interstate.”
Shane scowled. “How do you know that?”
“Her roommate, Miss Crystal Mally, works there with her. If I'd had a few more minutes, I would have had a phone number and a home address to go with that information. Crystal is a talkative girl, even if she isn't exactly my type.”
“I didn't know you had a type.”
“I don't, really, but I do shy away from junkies.”
“Annie said she is in recovery. She mentioned having a counselor.”
“Annie may be clean, but I don't think Crystal is there yet. Believe me, I know the signs. I hung out with a fast crowd before the Army got a hold of me.”
“Knowing where Annie works doesn't change anything.” Shane walked over to the forge and thrust a metal bar into the coals.
“Maybe not, but at least you know how to find her when you've had a chance to think things over.”
He didn't want to think things over. He wanted to rewind the morning and erase the part where a pretty woman with sad eyes had turned his life upside down.
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Two days later, Shane rounded the corner of the snack-food aisle at the local Gas and Go and spied Annie paying for her purchase of a large soda. Confronted with the woman he hadn't been able to get off his mind, he simply stared.
She wore a pair of faded jeans with butterflies embroidered in pink-and-white thread at her ankles. An equally faded jean jacket with threadbare cuffs covered a dark pink blouse. Her long braid hung down to the center of her back and swayed softly when she moved. Her silhouette showed only the slightest fullness at her midriff. A casual observer wouldn't know she was pregnant, but he knew. She was carrying his child.