Matt Fargo (16 page)

A pūtarō or furītā is a Japanese Generation X’er. These are kids in their twenties who have graduated from college but, reluctant to become a cog in the corporate machinery, take part-time jobs at the local 7-Eleven and spend their paychecks on clothes and cell phone
accessories. Furītā are treated as a big social problem, on a par with drugs and violence, but really they’re just your average college grads with nothing better to do than piss off Mom by drinking milk straight out of the carton. They check their e-mail like fifty times an hour and are really into the Food Network.

This is one of the more notorious Japanese archetypes. Girls with overwrought tans, blond hair, bright fluorescent clothing, and white glitter makeup around their eyes. There are different levels of gyaru, the most violent manifestation of which is the yamamba, whose tan is so dark and whose eye makeup is so garishly white that under the black light of a dance club she appears to be a pair of disembodied raccoon eyes. As a foreigner, you may be inclined to make fun of gyaru, and Japanese people often act ashamed of them, but they are actually more fun to party with than just about anybody. Think of them as Japanese Jersey girls! They dance, drink, and know how to get dirty—so hang up your hang-ups and go hit up Shibuya for a good, peroxide-tinted time. Gyaru banzai!

A ditz. Literally, burikko mean “a girl who pretends.” Like her American counterpart, a burikko isn’t actually ditzy, per se—she just pretends to be because her dad molested her as a kid and she assumed feigned ignorance as a primitive defense mechanism. And she thinks dudes actually like Paris Hilton. She’s actually really sharp, and says some funny shit when you get her drunk enough—but then when you start to get intimate and ask her for her number she’ll suddenly clam up and say: “You mean, like, my social security number?!”

A bastardization of the word “yankee,” yankī refers to the male version of gyaru. Like gyaru, they tend to have
long blond hair and obsessive tans, and are likewise undereducated. Don’t hate on them for looking a little froufrou, though—these guys are the blue-collar workers of Japan, building Tokyo’s skyscrapers by day and sniffing paint thinner by night. They are also tons more fun to rap with than your average salaryman, and can hold their own in a fight if it comes down to it. Same story as gyaru, basically, without a vagina.

Otaku is a word that, like bukkake, has insinuated itself into the English language. These are the guys who spend all night in their apartment with the lights out, playing World of Warcraft and jerking off to science fiction anime. This is not a judgmental description: in my opinion these folks deserve our awe and our reverence. They have the balls to do what your ego and pride will never allow you to do—sink into the mire of self-indulgence, without any regard for what society might say. So next time an otaku walks by you on his way to the video arcade, stop for a moment, take off your hat, and hum the intro to Final Fantasy, in the slightly wavering key of hesitant admiration.

Hikkī are a relatively new phenomenon in Japan. A particularly acute manifestation of the furītā generation, a hikkī is like a violent amalgam of otaku and apathy. Hikkī stay in their rooms all day, so afraid of societal pressure that their lethargy actually becomes an active commitment on a par with a full-time job. The word hikkī can also refer to Japanese pop singer Utada Hikaru, but in this case it is short for hikikomori, which means “to hole up.”

A-Boy These anime fanatics are essentially otaku, but encompass a slightly larger and more colorful demographic. Akiba refers to Akihabara, the electronics/anime mecca of Tokyo (and the world at large). So basically akiba kei means the kind of people that hang out in Akihabara. This includes folks who like to dress up as their favorite anime characters (cosplay), computer enthusiasts, hard-core gamers, and the just plain socially awkward. Sometimes referred to as “A-Boys”—a pun on the term B-Boys.

B-boy This is a jigger. Not like when Jay-Z says “Jigga that Nigga” or when your grandpa asks you to fetch him “a jigger of gin”—no, this is the Japanese version of a “wigger”: a Japanese boy who thinks that every day is Halloween and his only costume is an Eminem outfit. You can find groups of jiggers break-dancing to Jamiroquai in subway stations throughout Japan. Not as lame as their Caucasian counterparts but still pretty ridiculous, bībōi wear Kangol hats and Timberline boots but would probably turn tail at the very sight of a Paki dude, much less a real black guy. Flash them a gang sign and then get all tripped out when they actually flash a gang sign back.