Luck of the Draw (Xanth) (30 page)

“That seems likely,” Bryce agreed. “We can’t readily test that aspect at the moment, but it is probably worth assuming.”

“So who wants it?” Mindy asked.

Piper re-formed. “I just felt its power. Let me verify something.” He stepped up and took it from Bryce. “In my human form I can handle it. That suggests that it is the physical form of a monster it repels, rather than the nature of a person.”

“Unless it knows you are no threat to the rest of us, despite your capacity,” Bryce said. “In which case, it would be discriminating indeed.”

“Do you want it?” Piper asked.

“Not really,” Bryce said. “I never saw myself as a monster battler.”

“Not me,” Anna said. “I don’t want to be even six feet near any monsters, no matter how safe I may be.” Then she glanced at Piper and reconsidered. “Any
other
monsters.”

“Then it seems it is mine to claim,” Piper said. “It will make a fine gift for the princess.”

The gem vanished from his hand. The monster scarab was also gone.

“The demonstration phase is over,” Bryce said. “Now you have to locate and win the genuine Gem, wherever it is now.”

“Look!” Anna exclaimed.

There was the gold pedestal with the Gem on it, and the giant scarab behind it, exactly as before.

“I don’t trust this,” Bryce said. “We made our decision; why is it starting over?”

“It looks the same,” Piper said. “But the rules may have changed.” He went to the Gem, reaching for it. And stopped. “And they have. I can’t reach the Gem.”

Anna tried. She couldn’t reach it either. Neither could Bryce. Mindy didn’t try; she had to sit out the actual Challenge. The huge gold bug remained inanimate, evidently not part of this particular Challenge. It had been for demonstration purposes only.

“So it has reversed,” Bryce said. “We are all monsters, as far as the Gem is concerned. The challenge is to get past that.”

“I’m baffled,” Piper said. “We can’t get it by going away from it.”

Something nagged Bryce’s memory. Then he got it. “Princess Harmony is musical. She plays a harmonica.”

“What does that have to do with it?” Anna asked. Mindy also looked askance, but stayed out of it.

“Maybe nothing. But I found her harmonica playing, well, magical. It was literally magic, of course, as that’s how she invokes her power, but it was also aesthetically enchanting. I was transported, and insisted on hearing more. Maybe it was just the love spell making me appreciate anything about her. But I always liked music, while not having any talent in it myself, and I can tell a skilled rendition from a poor one. She was skilled.”

“She is,” Anna agreed. “I still don’t see the relevance.”

“Music has power, and not merely magical. I am wondering if an ideal gift for the princess could have a musical aspect. Maybe I’m going off in a wrong direction.”

“And maybe not,” Piper said. “Music does have power; I certainly have found it so. The princess is good with her instrument. She just might use it to tame a resistant Gem.” He brought out his piccolo, the gift of the princess, and began playing a lovely little tune.

The others watched and listened. Now that Piper was trying it, Bryce feared that his notion was irrelevant.

Piper, still playing, took a step toward the Gem. Then another. Now he was standing about three feet from it, then two. But that was as far as he got.

He stopped playing, and fell back as if repulsed. “It pushed me away!”

“So the music helps,” Bryce said, gratified. “Maybe all you need is a more authoritative melody.”

Piper tried another, and the others were enraptured by its beauty. He moved close to the Gem again, closer than before. Now he was only about one foot away. But that was as close as he could get.

He stopped playing, and was pushed away again by the repulsive field around the Gem. “It isn’t enough.”

“What about your other form?” Anna asked.

“But that’s a monster! The Gem repels monsters.”

“Has it encountered a music monster?” Bryce asked. “Not the one who can hurl firebombs, but the straight musician.”

Piper dissolved into gelatin. This time he wasn’t thin like a rug but thick. A number of vents formed. He blew a few practice notes. Then he played an organ melody with a complex harmony. It was impressive.

As he played, he slid forward. He breached the six-foot barrier, and the three-foot one. The music attraction was countering the monster repulsion. But could he actually take the Gem?

A pseudopod lifted and reached toward the Gem. It got to about six inches from it and stopped. The music was still not enough.

“Try the Dirge!” Bryce called.

Piper shifted into the Dirge. The powerful, sorrowful theme swept over them all, bringing tears. Anna dabbed her eyes, and Bryce’s vision blurred. The music continued, carrying them all along. It was a truly uplifting grief.

Then it stopped. “But it was working!” Anna protested.

“What happened?” Bryce asked.

“I got the Gem,” Piper said, re-forming. He held it in his hand. “It no longer repulses me; once I touched it, the Challenge was over.”

“Congratulations!” Bryce said.

“But now you’ll be going,” Anna said sadly.

“But we will meet again,” Piper said. “I really hope for that.”

“Unless the princess chooses you,” Anna said. “With that music and that gift, I fear she will.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Piper said. “I’d like to stay, but I have to complete my Quest.”

“I know,” Anna said tearfully. “And I’m glad for you. I really am. I just somehow wish…” She didn’t finish.

“Believe me, I understand,” Piper said. “I thought I wanted to marry a princess, but now I know it is love I truly desire. Even though I am spelled to love another, I know you would be better for me. I know that the moment the spell dissipates, my love for you will flower.”

Bryce was struck by the similarity to what he had discovered about himself. First love was not necessarily the best love.

“I never thought I would love a monster,” Anna said. “I was wrong. It’s not just your music, though I love that too.”

“The chances are only one in six she’ll take me. I’m gambling on that. Farewell for now, Anna.” He kissed her, then got on his trike and rode away as if afraid to delay any longer. That was surely sensible.

“I don’t think she will choose him,” Mindy said. But her opinion did not seem to be much comfort.

12

B
EE

“
T
he day is yet young,” Bryce said. “Let’s see if we can reach the next Object before nightfall.”

Mindy unrolled the scroll. “Lake Kiss Mee.”

“That’s not far,” Anna said. “We can make that on the trikes via enchanted paths.”

“Let’s do it,” Bryce agreed. But privately he wondered. The other Objects had been far apart, requiring them to go to extreme measures to reach them in time. Would this next one turn out to be different?

They located a path and triked north. Soon the golden ambiance faded, and normal colors returned.

They came to a large body of water. “Lake Ogre Chobee,” Mindy said. “Generations ago most of the ogres moved from the Ogre fen Ogre Fen in the north, down here. They won’t bother us as long as we stay on the enchanted paths.”

They paused at a rest stop, where they harvested pies and pods. Beside the shelter was a statue of a small horse. They didn’t think anything of it until several small children came by. One got on the statue. “Giddyup!”

The horse started rocking, and loud music issued from it. “That’s rock music!” Bryce said.

“From a rock horse,” Anna agreed, smiling.

“I keep encountering puns when I can’t collect them,” Mindy complained with a smile. It was good to relax for a while.

They rode on. After a time, possibly a time and a half, they came to a juncture. One sign said
GAP CHASM.
Another said
CASTLE ROOGNA.
A third said
LAKE KISS MEE.
But below it was scrawled a warning: “Enchantment out of order. Proceed at own risk.”

They considered that. “Sometimes the paths get messed up and need to be repaired,” Mindy said. “The repair crew must be busy.”

“But we need to get there in a reasonable time, lest we forfeit,” Anna said. “We don’t want to go to the other places yet.”

“I vote we take the path, but be on guard,” Bryce said. Then he thought of something else. “Maybe this is not coincidence.”

They looked at him. “Not?” Anna asked.

“We have been having as much of a challenge getting to the Objects as we have had winning them,” Bryce said. “I thought that was just ill chance or the nature of backwoods Xanth. But now it occurs to me that it may not be chance at all. It may be part of the Challenge.”

Anna nodded. “We were under time pressure to get to Mount Rushmost within a day, so we took a shortcut. Fracto Cloud attacked and we had to go underground, where trolls and two goblin villages lurked. Only sheer luck got us safely past those.”

“And Lucky is no longer with us,” Mindy said thoughtfully.

“Then we had trouble getting past roadblocks to reach the Trollway,” Anna said. “Until we realized they were illusions.”

“And we had to navigate boiling quicksand to get to the third Object,” Bryce said.

“And the treacherous Noway Naga of Menace Mesa,” Anna said with a shudder.

“Now we face another unenchanted path,” Bryce concluded. “I think the Demons are testing us again. They don’t care whether we survive the journey; it’s part of the selection process.”

“I think you’re right,” Anna said. “This is no innocent treasure hunt. This is dangerous. And we no longer have a warrior or a monster to fight for us.”

“Or a demon,” Bryce agreed. Then he thought of something. “But we might summon one. What are the chances she’d help instead of hinder?”

“Oh, no!” Mindy said. “You wouldn’t!”

“I’d like to throw a monkey wrench into whatever mischief is lurking for us along this path,” Bryce said. “That might do it. I’m game if you are.”

“She would be as likely to mess it up as to mess us up,” Anna agreed. “I’m game.”

“It would change the game, certainly,” Mindy said with enough of a smile to show that she was conscious of the pun.

Bryce nodded. “So let’s see what Demoness Metria has to say about it.”

A small cloud formed between them. “Did I hear my Appalachian?”

“Appelation,” Mindy said quickly, cutting short the demoness’s preferred dialogue. “No mountains or horses here.”

The cloud formed into one of Metria’s more luscious shapes, with a décolletage that did not quite show too much cleavage and a skirt that just barely avoided baring a panty line. She eyed Mindy crossly. “You’ve lost weight.”

“I’m trying to shape myself into the figure of the woman I’d like to be,” Mindy explained, evidently discomfited.

Bryce glanced at her. It was true: she was less solid than she had been. He hadn’t been paying attention.

“So are you folk up to anything interesting?” Metria asked.

“Fascinating,” Bryce said. “We may be about to walk into a nasty trap.”

“Oh, goody! But if you’re fooling me, I might flash you like this.”

But Bryce’s left eye warned him, and he shut his right eye just before her dress went transparent, revealing both red bra and blue panties, both formidably overstuffed. “Don’t do that,” he said. “I might lose control and do something I shouldn’t.”

“Do what?” she demanded curiously.

“This.” He reached out suddenly and goosed her. He hadn’t done that to a girl in sixty-five years, and then he had gotten slapped hard alongside the face and been punished with hours of detention. It had seemed worth it at the time.

“OoOoo!” she howled, sailing into the air.

Both Anna and Mindy stifled snorts of illicit mirth. Bryce’s hand was numb. It must have been freaked out by contact with those plush panties.

“Fortunately neither of us would do anything gross like that, would we,” Bryce said, flexing his fingers to restore their circulation. “So it’s academic.”

Metria floated back down to the ground, faint smoke dissipating. “Academic,” she agreed. “So you are a man, deep down under that milky toast exterior.” Her dress lengthened, ensuring that nothing daring showed above or below. She had, it seemed, gotten the message. For now.

“What kind of toast?” he asked before he caught himself.

“Milquetoast,” Mindy said immediately, cutting off the routine. “It means a spineless person. And she has you wrong regardless. You’ve got spine.” She giggled. “And maybe a sore hand.”

“Sore hand!” Metria said, outraged. “The bleep it is! It’s spaced out because of its brief contact with heavenly silk.” She eyed Bryce. “Want to try it with your face?”

“Here’s the situation,” Bryce said, deciding to cut off that particular discussion. “The information is private, Metria, so you must promise not to tell.”

“I promise,” she said, holding up crossed fingers. At least she was honest about her dishonesty.

“We are on a Quest to obtain magical Objects for the Princess Harmony. The next one is in the vicinity of Lake Kiss Mee. But certain obstructions may be in our way. We need to find a way to handle them.”

“Why should I care about that?”

“Because capital D Demons are behind this Quest. Ordinary folk seldom have a chance to witness their games in action. Of course if that scares you off—”

“Let’s get moving,” Metria said briskly. She floated on along the path.

They followed on their trikes. It was a gamble involving the demoness, but maybe no worse than what they faced otherwise.

Yet the ride was remarkably placid. The path wound between marshes and trees, with no impediments. They pedaled hard and made good progress. Surely Lake Kiss Mee was not far off.

They came to a lovely pool. “Oh, I’d like to take a swim and cool off!” Anna said.

“We can’t assume it’s safe,” Bryce said. “I think we should go on by.”

“This is your idea of adventure?” Metria demanded. “Pedaling past pools?”

“We have no idea what kind of water is there,” Bryce said. “And not much way to test it. I’d rather keep going until we return to a safely enchanted path with a protected rest stop.”