Luck of the Draw (Xanth) (33 page)

“Or tunnel under the ground to the hive?”

“If you could get underground, so could they,” Bryce said. “Remember, they can squeeze into crevices.”

“It’s such a simple thing,” she said, frustrated. “Yet so hard to do.”

“Yet there has to be a way,” Bryce said. “We just have to think of it.”

“If only Fracto Cloud could come by now, and blow them all away!”

“They’d cling to the hive, and sting when you got there.”

“You’re very good at objections,” she flared. “What do you recommend?”

Bryce considered. “What are we missing? We must be thinking too much inside the box.”

“Box?”

“Figure of speech. We’re being conventional, and not getting anywhere. But maybe if we could come up with something anomalous…”

“That’s my specialty,” she agreed. “The anomaly.”

Then Bryce had an idea. “We’ve been thinking of Xanth. Maybe it should be Mundania.”

“Mundania? That seems irrelevant.”

“Precisely. It’s anomalous.”

“How can that help us?”

“I visited a bee farm in Mundania once. They used smudge pots.”

“I don’t understand. Dirty pots?”

He smiled. “Smudge pots. They had small fires inside of pots, that burned peat or something, making a lot of smoke. It seems the bees couldn’t handle the smoke; it messed up their senses so they couldn’t orient to sting.”

“Smoke,” she said. “I never thought of that.”

Bryce looked around. “Maybe we can make a smudge pot.”

They foraged in the meadow, and found a solid old root with a hole in it. They stuffed that with dried leaves and stems. Then Bryce used his pen to sketch a lighter, animated it, and used it to ignite the packed leaves. They burned reluctantly, issuing thick smoke.

“I think we’ve got it,” Bryce said.

“Are you sure it will work?” Anna asked.

“No. And that bothers me. You could get badly stung.”

Anna was doubtful. “I could.”

“Would you prefer that I try it?”

“No. I want to try it, succeed or fail. Getting stung is nothing compared to what the harpies and goblins tried to do to me.”

She was correct. “Don’t hurry. Stay within the cloud of smoke. If you get stung, retreat.”

“I will,” she said. Then she took the smudge pot and advanced on the hive.

The bees swarmed. They formed a larger cloud around her, but did not get through the smoke. Anna walked up to the hive and picked up the Queen Bee in her hand.

“Just like that,” Mindy murmured. “It looks so easy when you have the key.”

“She had to have the nerve to do it,” Bryce said.

“She did. She earned it.”

They walked to the hive. The bees had returned to their labors with the flowers. All was peaceful.

“Now you can rejoin Piper,” Bryce said. “Congratulations.”

“I owe it all to you,” Anna said. “You knew the score, knew this was your last chance, but still you gave it to me.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“If you lose because you did the right thing, then the princess will lose her best prospect. I hate that.”

Bryce shrugged. “What will be will be. You have been through more than enough.”

“If I didn’t love Piper, I would love you,” Anna said. “Maybe I do, a little.” She paused, reconsidering. “More than a little. Hold still; I’m going to kiss you.”

“You kissed me before. No need to—”

She stepped in to him, put her hands to his head, held it in place, and kissed him firmly on the mouth. Bees and tiny honeycombs flew around them.

Then Anna and the Queen Bee mounted her trike and rode off. Bryce, dazed, slowly settled back to earth. Had Anna wanted him, he realized, she could have taken him, anomalous as that might be.

“But what about this business of that being your last chance?” Mindy asked. “What an irony if your better nature cost you that.”

“I made mistakes in my Mundane life,” Bryce said gravely. “This time I mean to do it right. That means not letting the convenience of the moment override the honorable thing, and not letting others dictate the important decisions of my life even if it is for my own good. The princess will survive without me.”

“I’m not sure of that. Especially if it’s true she prefers you to the others.”

“We don’t know that’s true.” But he wondered.

13

M
ONOCLE

“
W
here is the next Object?” Bryce asked.

“You are going to try for it?” Mindy asked.

“Of course. I am obliged to do my best, regardless of whether I expect to succeed. And I’m not at all sure I will fail. I don’t see how anyone could know that far ahead. As I understand it, the Demons set things up fairly, then don’t interfere.”

“They do,” she agreed. “But it sounds as if someone peeked into the future.”

“The future is mutable.”

“Maybe it is in Mundania.”

He nodded. “Point made. But I will make my best effort.”

She unrolled the scroll. “The Gap Chasm,” she said, surprised. “We were there before.”

“Not as part of the Quest.”

“True. But I dread messing with the Gap, unless it is safely down in the bottom of it.”

“At least it is not far from here.”

“Short distances can be as challenging as long ones,” she said. “Especially when Demons have set roadblocks.”

“So we’d best be on our way,” he said.

They got on the trikes and followed the path on east, to intersect a northbound enchanted path.

In an hour they reached a pleasant lake. Mindy needed to take a toilet break, and disappeared behind a bush. Bryce, thirsty, dipped out a double handful of the clear water and drank. It was amazingly refreshing.

Mindy returned. “I meant to warn you: don’t drink that water,” she cautioned. “This is Lake Kiss Mee.”

“Oops. I just did.”

“Oh, bleep!” Then she changed her mind. “No, maybe it will do. You need a person to kiss.”

“I do,” he said, surprised. In fact the urge was overwhelming.

“So kiss me.” She stood before him, definitely thinner than she had once been.

Bryce didn’t hesitate. He enfolded her and kissed her repeatedly. He just had to keep doing it; he couldn’t stop himself. It was the power of the water governing him, though she was also pleasant to hold. But she bore up remarkably well.

Several minutes later he was finally kissed out. “Thank you,” he gasped. “I’m sorry to have put you through that.”

“You forget I love you. I’m happy to have you kissing me without limit.”

“But this wasn’t love! It was the urgency of the water.”

“Yes. But I still enjoyed it.”

Maybe she had. But he would be more careful hereafter. Because he had enjoyed it too, and that was dangerous.

They found an enchanted path and rode north. In two hours they came to the village of Kiss Mee. It was getting late and they were tired, so they decided to stop. Kiss Mee was close to the Gap Chasm, and they could readily complete their trip in the morning.

“This should be a friendly town, if they drink the local water,” Bryce said.

“It is. They do,” Mindy said. “But they’re acclimatized to it, so they are merely friendly, not demanding. I will seek the Mare.”

“The what?”

“The Mare of this town. She’s the one who can approve lodging for us.”

“A horse? Or do you mean the Mayor?”

“Yes.”

Bryce was silent, realizing that he was missing something.

Mindy went to the central stall. There was a female horse. Mindy talked, and the horse whinnied. Mindy returned. “There is a complication.”

“I should think so,” Bryce said wryly.

“We are welcome to stay the night, but the Mare has a favor to ask. It seems they have a problem they don’t know how to handle, so they are hoping we have an idea.”

“Why not? I’m happy to return a favor for a favor.”

“It’s not that easy. Maybe we should not stay here.”

“Now I’m really confused. You talk with a horse to get us a room, and now you don’t want to?”

“Here’s the situation,” she said, not smiling. “People have been mysteriously dying. They know who has a motive, but he’s never involved when it happens, so they’re helpless.”

“Motive is not necessarily murder,” Bryce said. “Maybe a friend of his is doing it.”

“He has no friends here.”

“Who is it?”

“A young man named Brant.”

“Well, let’s go talk with him, for a start.”

“I don’t think that would be wise.”

Mindy was normally very accommodating. Why was she getting negative now? “Why not?”

“Because if we annoy him in any way, we could be the next to die.”

Now it was coming clear. “And just asking about the folk who have died could annoy him, especially if he’s guilty.”

“That’s it,” she agreed grimly.

“This smacks of a Demon impediment.”

“It does.”

“Which means we won’t be able to avoid it by riding on.”

“Oh! I didn’t think of that.”

“Let’s get more detail on exactly who has died, and how.”

Mindy talked with the Mare again, and returned with more information.

“There was a girl Brant liked, but she liked another boy better. A few days later that other boy drowned. He was an excellent swimmer, and his friends don’t understand how it could have happened. The girl was grief-stricken and refused to see any other boy. In another week she died in an unusual accident. A halfway-friendly neighborhood dragon had been toasting nuts, and a stray jet of flame happened to burn her as she walked past. The dragon hadn’t meant to do it; it was a fluke. Then another boy accused Brant of somehow arranging it. A week later that boy died when a passing roc bird came in for a landing, didn’t see him, and sat on him. Again, it was a friendly roc, coming in for a routine package delivery. Another weird accident.”

“I see the pattern,” Bryce said. “It’s as if Brant wishes them evil, and it happens.”

“Exactly. Can you figure out a way to prove it or stop it?”

“Maybe. It always seems to be several days before affront becomes vengeance. What does Brant do in the interim?”

“Nothing. In fact he sleeps.”

“Sleeps?”

“A lot, day and night. Then someone dies.”

“In Mundania this would be sheer coincidence. But here in Xanth, it could be magic. Could he be sending them bad dreams, so that they are distracted and become dangerously careless?”

“Only the Night Stallion can do that.”

“The what?”

“The Night Stallion runs the dream realm. They make bad dreams for bad people to experience, and the night mares deliver them to deserving folk. It’s an inducement to be good.”

“The Night Stallion. He knows about all dreams?”

“All bad ones, yes. The Day Stallion supervises nice daydreams for day mares to deliver.”

“Then we should go see the Night Stallion to ascertain what he knows about this.”

“We can’t do that! He’s in the dream realm!”

“Ah, but isn’t there an access via the peephole gourd?”

She nodded. “That’s right. You did encounter a gourd when we were hunting puns. But entering one has its own dangers.”

“Not worse than what we have been facing on this Quest, I think.”

She nodded. “You have a point.”

She went to the Mare again. Soon they were ensconced in a nice room, with two fresh gourds. A villager was instructed to check on them, and to break their eye contact in an hour so that they did not get trapped in the dream realm.

They sat opposite each other at a table, in couch chairs that held their bodies firmly in place. “We must hold hands as we enter, so that we will find ourselves in the same spot in the dream realm,” Mindy said.

“You find ways to kiss and hold hands.”

She blushed. “I do,” she confessed. “But this is legitimate.”

He was sorry. “I didn’t mean to tease you. I—I like doing it with you.” He condemned himself for his youthful-body reactions. She had become more physically attractive, and he was noticing. He took her hands on the table, outside the gourds. “What’s next?”

“We’ll encounter the standard dream setting for newcomers,” Mindy explained. “This is a haunted house, stocked with ghosts and spooks. Beyond it is a graveyard with zombies and walking skeletons. Scary things.”

“Like Picka Bone?”

“Yes. His parents were from the dream realm. They aren’t bad folk at all, merely different.”

“I understand. It’s been about seventy years since Halloween spooks actually scared me.”

“Then look into the peephole the same time I do.”

“So we’ll remain together,” he agreed.

They looked. The room was gone. They stood before a badly maintained house in a wretched yard. A full moon hung low overhead, looking moldy. It was surely made of old green cheese.

“This is it,” Mindy said. “We don’t need to hold hands here; our real bodies are doing that.” She disengaged.

“Let’s bypass the spook house and go directly to the graveyard.”

“Can’t. This setting is preprogrammed. We have to enter.”

“Let me try something else, then.” He brought out his pen and pad, which he did have with him. He sketched a folded map marked
HAUNTED HOUSE.
He activated it, and the map slid off the paper into his hand.

“You’re getting good with that magic pen.”

“The princess gave it to me, remember. It’s a really nice instrument.” He unfolded the map. There was a complete display of the interior of the haunted house, hall by creaky hall and room by gloomy room. Sure enough, there was a shortcut to the rear.

“But you are using it in ways the princess probably never thought of.”

“I think that’s why she gave it to me. She thought I could make better use of it than she could.” He studied the map, then folded it and put it in his pocket. “Onward.”

They went to the door and Bryce lifted the huge old corroded knocker and let it fall. “OoOOga!” sounded within the house.

“And maybe a horn would blow a knocking sound,” Bryce said, smiling.

The door opened. No one was there, just an empty pair of shoes and an empty pair of gloves. The gloves were moving the door.

“Thank you,” Bryce said. “Fine setting you have here.” One glove made a little wave of acknowledgment, and the shoes stepped aside.