Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10) (16 page)

“We’re both idiots
for not sharing everything with each other. We’re all we’ve got.
I mean, unless you’re talking to your mom again.”

“No. My mom could
honestly care less if I live or die as long as the checks keep
coming. You know Jessica has always been more of a mom to me.”

He nods. “Are you
going to tell her and Gram?”

“Gram knows. I didn’t
tell her, but she told me once that she knew. I’ll tell Jessica.
It’s past time.”

“I’ll handle
everything at Corrigan while you work on getting better, and then you
can come back and be king of the corporation again once you’re
ready.”

“You really don’t
want it, do you—to be CEO of the company?”

“Nope. Being a VP is
more than enough. I have the woman I love, and no fancy title will
ever trump that.”

“I guess if baseball
didn’t come before Alex, then nothing would.”

“Truer words have
never been spoken.”

“I’m really happy
for you. And proud of the man you’ve become. I don’t think I tell
you that often enough. You went through all that shit with Dad, and
then thought you had to give up Alex to protect her. But you came out
even stronger. You’re
my
hero.”

“Dude, you cannot say
things like that when I have these allergies,” he says, wiping his
eyes.

“I seem to have
developed allergies, too,” I tell him with a laugh as I dry my own
tears.

We hug it out, and then
he goes home to Alex. They’ll need each other now more than ever.
He’s going to have to run Corrigan for a little while, and she has
to front the Society for who knows how long. I meant it when I said I
was proud of Miles. It’s time I started learning to be proud of me,
too. I’ll have no chance of getting Reina back if I can’t start
giving myself some credit for the things I’ve done right, instead
of focusing on what I’ve been doing wrong. I pull the rolling table
in front of me, open my laptop, and start to read.

Reina,

I shouldn’t
have hit on Luke Griffin’s wife, but you were driving me crazy.
That tight pencil skirt, and your blouse that was loose, but not
loose enough for me to see down…damn, I nearly came in my pants
when I saw you standing there with her. It’s nothing new, I have
the same physical response every time I see you, and yeah, I usually
have the same verbal response to you, too. I really was going to your
office to apologize, but you were so fired up, and it was so fucking
hot. I nearly lost my mind—and my load—all over again. So, I did
what I do best. I took what I needed, and because I felt guilty about
it, I left you a little more broken. I know I sometimes wonder what
would happen if you sent me away, if you said no. Would I finally man
up? Probably not. I am sorry for the way I behave, but I have too
much to lose if I let you in. Id’ lose you.

I fucking love
you, I swear I do,

Matt

* * *

Just over 2 years ago…

“
You
have to stop this, Matt.”

“
Stop
what, Gram?” I ask her, taking a sip of my water. She won’t let
me have alcohol when we dine together, and right now, that’s
probably a good thing.

“
Do
not act like I am some senile old woman. You seem to delight in
hurting Reina, and it cannot continue. You are slowly destroying her
every day.”

“
I
don’t want to do that. I-I…”

“
You
love her. I know. What I don’t know is why you fight it so hard. I
have never seen you happier than you were with her in Chicago all
those years ago. And then you ended it, and neither of you has ever
been the same.”

“
There
are reasons I can’t be with her.”

“
Stupid
reasons.”

“
You
don’t know that.”

“
Don’t
I? You seem to forget how far my power reaches. I do, in fact, know
everything, and I’ll say it again, you’re being stupid.”

“
If
you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”

“
I
was waiting for you to come to me. I have always been here for you
Matt, waiting. I was so glad when you formed your bond with Nate and
Aiden, but I hoped one day you would realize that I could help you,
too. Not with my connections, but as your grandmother.”

“
I’m
sorry. I was just so ashamed. I still am. What I did, it can’t be
undone, even by you.”

“
No,
it can’t, but you cannot let it overshadow everything else in your
life. Reina would never hold it against you. Are you really willing
to live the rest of your life without her because you feel guilty
over something that happened a decade ago?”

“
I
can’t tell her.”

“
Yet.
One day, I know you’ll tell her, and that is enough. For right now,
you can hold her and treat her properly. Take her on dates, and
romance her.”

“
I
don’t know much about romance.”

“
I
think you’ll find that the right person can inspire you to be more
romantic than you’d ever imagined you could be.”

“
We’ll
just have to agree to disagree,” I tell her with a smile, before
getting serious again. “Thank you. I need to go apologize to your
protégé.”

“
And?”

“
That’s
all I have in me to do right now, Gram.”

She
nods. “An apology is the right start.”

I
kiss her on the forehead, and head out to my bike. I normally drive
my truck when I’m working, but today I had no in person meetings
scheduled, so I decided to indulge myself. All the way back to the
Corrigan building, I try and think of what to say to Reina. How to
apologize without showing my hand, and my heart.

It’s
a delicate balance, and once I walk into her office, I realize it’s
one I can’t maintain. Her eyes are on fire as she stands from her
chair, and fuck if it’s not making my dick harder than I thought it
could possibly get. My apology has flown right out of my mind,
replaced by thoughts of how I’m going to take this woman in front
of me. Because there is no doubt that I’ll be buried deep inside of
her before I leave this office.

“
What
the hell do you want now? Olivia’s gone home to her husband.”

“
Aww,
jealous, Princess?”

“
What.
Do. You. Want?”

“
Lock
the door.”

“
You
have got to be out of your mind if you think that something’s going
to happen between us.”

“
Something,
no? A specific thing, hell yeah. Now lock the door.”

She
crosses her arms over her chest, making her fabulous tits strain
against the fabric of her shirt. “Get out.”

“
We
both need to get off before that happens. Now be a good girl and lock
the door.”

If
there wasn’t all this damn high tech spy stuff going on in this
building, I could just lock the door like a normal person. But no,
the locks here are voice activated. She has to tell the door to lock.

“
I
don’t care if your friends are in charge of security here, I will
call them and tell them I’m being threatened.”

“
Threatened?
I haven’t threatened you. I can though. Wanna hear my threat,
Reina?”

“
No.
I do not.”

“
If
you lock that door, I’m going to bend you over your desk and fuck
you until you lose your voice from screaming my name. How many times
do you think it’ll take? How many orgasms can you take before you
can’t speak?”

“
Go.”

“
You
don’t want me to go.”

“
Please.”

“
Please
what?” I ask, walking around her desk and standing in front of her.
“Do you want it a different way? Or I know, you want more than just
my cock, don’t you? I can do that. It will be my pleasure to do
that for you, Rei.”

She’s
trembling now, and I know I have her. I sink to my knees in front of
her as she closes her eyes. After a few calming breaths, she looks
down at me and says the words we both need to hear. “Lock the
door.”

Three
hours later, she’s finally lost her voice, and I can barely stand.
I’m kissing her, even though I know there’s no way I can go
again. I just want to kiss her, and hold her. I want to be the man my
Gram thinks I can be with Reina. I want it, but I know I shouldn’t.
I need to leave, but I can’t make my feet move.

My
phone starts ringing, and I break away to retrieve it from my pocket.
When I see who’s calling, I know this is just what I needed to
create that distance again. “Hey, babe.”

I
hear Reina’s sharp intake of breath, but I pretend that it doesn’t
affect me. “Yeah, I’m just finishing up here. I’ll see you at
Guy Savoy in an hour.”

I
turn back to Reina, and know I made a big mistake. I should’ve
expected the punch, but I didn’t. I stagger back from the force as
my teeth cut into my bottom lip. I lick it and taste the blood that I
more than deserve to have shed after what I just did. I’m going to
be canceling the date once I walk out, but I can’t let Reina know
that.

“
Come
on, Princess. You know the score.”

“
I
hate you,” she says, her voice a hoarse whisper that stabs me in
the heart.

“
Hate
me? I gave you double digit orgasms.”

“
Get
out.”

“
She
won’t be as good as you, if that’s any consolation. None of them
ever are.”

“
You
can’t keep doing this to me, Matt.”

“
Stop
letting me if you can’t handle it.”

“
This
isn’t my fault.”

“
Isn’t
it? I didn’t force you to suck my cock. It was magnificent as
always, but you wanted it.”

“
Just
go. Your date should feel lucky. She at least gets a meal out of it.”

“
Yeah,
but she won’t be getting double digits. That’s all for you, Rei.”

“
Lucky
me.”

I
salute her and walk out. I smile at the secretary, whose name I can
never remember, and make the call to cancel dinner while I’m in the
elevator. I hold everything in until I close and lock my office door.
It’s only then that I slide to the floor, and bang my head against
the wall. My Gram was definitely wrong. I don’t know how to be
romantic—even for Reina—and I can’t imagine that I ever will.

* * *

Matt

It takes them longer to
come see me than I thought it would. And it’s only three of them.
For now. Alex, Stella, and Tegan walk in and stand in front of my bed
48 hours after Reina walked away from it. Almost on the dot.

“I thought you’d
forgotten about me.”

“Unfortunately,
that’s not possible,” Stella says.

“Really, Stell? I’ve
always been a good friend to you.”

“Reina is a better
friend. She has been from day one. Do you even remember the first
time we met, Matt? Because I do.”

Yeah, I remember. It
shames me to think of it, and reading the email where I wrote to
Reina about it sliced me open a little. Which makes me realize that
it probably sliced Reina to pieces.

“Yeah. I remember.”

“I thought you were
the biggest prick on the planet, and I should’ve stuck to my first
impression.”

“I
do
have a big prick,” I say, trying to lighten things up.

“Really? I doubt that
Miles would appreciate you talking about your dick in front of me,”
Alex says.

I can’t help it. I
have to laugh. “You’re standing in my hospital room with two
women he fucked. Like that’s not awkward.”

“It’s not. We’re
adults, and choose to act like them. You know I consider Stell and
Teeg to be two of my best friends.”

“Yeah, you were so
adult when you found out. You didn’t freeze them out or anything.”

“What she did or
didn’t do while she was still a teenager has no bearing on why
we’re here now. So stop deflecting, and let’s get down to
business,” Tegan tells me.

“What is there to
discuss? Reina left both me and the Society, Alex is pretending to be
in charge while you and Stella run things, and Miles is in charge
while I recover. I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“So that’s it?
You’re just going to let her go?” Tegan asks.

“Fuck no. I’m going
to give her some space, because I need to recover, and then I’ll do
everything and anything I can to get her back here.”

“While your words
slightly warm my heart, you can’t wait,” Stella tells me.

“If I push her,
she’ll just run faster.”

“I don’t mean you
should push her, just let her know you’re still around. That you
don’t want it to be over, and are finally going to man up.”

That’s actually not a
bad idea. “My ‘man’ is always up for her, but I like the way
you think. It will actually go along with what I had planned for
later.”

“What did I say about
that kind of talk? I’m telling Miles,” Alex says, hands on her
hips as she glares at me. I know she’s got to be kidding. She’s
used to me talking like this.

“What are you going
to tell me, Xandy?” my brother asks, walking into the room with
Brayden.

“Your brother is
talking about his penis.”

“Penis? So what’s
new?”

She starts laughing.
“Nothing. I just had to try out my Society persona for a little
bit.”

“Oh thank God. I was
worried there for a minute with you acting like you had a stick up
your ass,” I tell her.

“We need to get back
to business. You romancing Reina from afar,” Tegan says.

“I told you I’ve
got it handled. I just need to know where she is.”