Loving Hart (31 page)

Once pictures of all of us on the beach had been taken, we all headed to the mansion that the reception was being held in.  I struggled through dinner because even though everyone was raving about how delicious the food was, the scent of all the spices was making me really nauseous.  I tried to cut up my food into small pieces and move it around so that everyone would think I was eating, but I saw Mama San staring at me and I knew she wasn't fooled.  I settled on eating a roll with butter, hoping that would ease her mind.

Watching my brother and his new wife dance for the first time was so beautiful, I cried.  He deserves his happily ever after, and I was thrilled.  As the night progressed, I could tell that Damien was really starting to get nervous.  Oh, he held it in fairly well, but I know my brother's tells, and I knew he was struggling.  He'd asked all of us to form a circle around him and Brooke when he proposed, and he took her to the dance floor, we assembled around them.
Of course, Spencer had to be standing at my side when we formed the circle.  It hurt,
but seeing my brother go down on one knee
,
and hearing the quiver in his voice when he asked Brooke to marry him, I was overjoyed.  He got the girl.  Spencer squeezed my hand in his, and my eyes burned with unshed tears.

I used my happiness about Damien and Brooke as a cover, and since everyone else was crying too, it worked.  When the champagne was handed out to toast their engagement, I held it in my hand and pretended to take a sip. As I gave my champagne flute to the waiter, I saw that both Damien and Mama San were watching me.  I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, hoping they would think I was still recovering from the flu
,
and not up to drinking. 

It didn't help that every time I looked, Spencer was staring at me with his heart in his eyes.  I knew what he wanted, but more than ever, I knew I couldn't give it to him.  I'm going to have to tell him before Dante gets back from his honeymoon that I'm pregnant, and then I'm going to have to tell my brothers.  I know things aren't going to be easy, and it's been giving me a lot of anxiety.

When the DJ announced that it was the last dance of the night, I was relieved because I was totally worn out.  I'd kept a smile plastered on my face for ninety-five percent of the time, but I didn't have anything left to give.  Spencer appeared at my side, taking my hand in his.  "Dance with me angel."

Saying no didn't even cross my mind, because in my heart I knew this would be the last time that he'd willingly hold me close to him.  Once he knows that I'm pregnant, he'll be so angry
that he'll never want to hold
me again. 
Wrapping my arms around him, I laid my cheek on his chest as we swayed to the music. When I felt him gently stroking my hair, I looked up.  His face… god, his face.  Anyone looking at us knew that he was in agony, because he made no attempt to mask it. 
His love for me was right there, on display for anyone who cared to look. 
Staring at me he whispered, "I love you so fucking much angel.  I'm not right without you.  Isn't there anything we can do?"

Right then, I wished I'd said no when he asked me to dance.  Now I was going to have to hurt him, and I hated that. I thought of a million and one things I could say before finally blurting out, "Now isn't the time, but I do need to talk to you ASAP.  It's urgent."

The look of hope on his face cut me to the quick, and I disengaged from his
gaze
quickly.  "I hav
e to go to the bathroom.
"

I hauled ass to the ladies room, dropping down onto the
bench
that was in the outer waiting room
,
and burying my face in my hands.  I hurt inside my heart in the worst way, and I wasn't sure how I was ever going to be able to say what needed to be said to him. 

I was so out of it that I didn’t hear the door open, so when Brooke spoke, it shocked me.
  “Delilah! What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

I struggled to think of somethin
g,
anything
,
to say.  Nothing came to mind.
  Dropping onto
her knees in front of me, she grabbed my hands
.  “Delilah, I know something is wrong.  You’re scaring the shit out of me. Tell me!”

I figured I’d just say I was still feeling like shit and
let that be it.  My intention wa
s to tell Spencer before anyone else.  But then, Dominique walked in and ran
over
to me
with a concerned cry.  “What’s happening here?  What’s wrong?”

I wasn’t going to be able to keep it to myself anymore.

Taking a deep breath,
I looked at Dominique and then Brooke
,
before dropping my
face into
my
hands.  “I’m pregnant.”

In unison they
both gasp
ed
.  “WHAT?”

Lifting my head up, I nodded.
  “Yep. I’m that fucking idiot girl who didn’t take her birth control right and got pregnant.  Even worse, I’m carrying the baby of someone who doesn’t want kids and who will hate me once he knows that I’m pregnant.  I had an appointment to have a… termination… on Monday, but I couldn’t do it.  I can’t and I won’t do anything to hurt the life we created. I love our baby already, even though this ruins any shot we ever had at happiness.”

There was complete silence for a moment, and then Dominique asked the obvious question.
“You started sleeping with him again, didn’t you? It’s Spencer’s baby.  It has to be.”

I nodded, feeling bad that I’d kept it a secret from my sister.  Once things blew up that day in Malibu, I just didn’t feel like telling anyone
. 

“Yes, I’ve been sleeping with Spencer again, and yes, it’s his baby.”

Brooke and Dominique both opened their mouths to say something, but we were interrupted by Mama San’s
saying
, “
Oh honey…
is that
what you’ve been hiding
?”

I’d never even heard her come in but suddenly there she was, on the floor with Brooke and Dominique staring at me.  I felt terrible and I started to cry.  “Yes, and I’m sorry
,
because I know I’ve let you down.”

Pushing the girls aside, she took me into her arms and held me tight.  “Delilah Hart! I am insulted that you think that.  You haven’t let me down honey.  Everything is fine.  We’ll get through this together as family, just like we always do.  I’m going to be a grandmother! How could you think that would upset me?”

I cried a river in her arms, the only mother I’ve ever had holding me tight to her as she told me over and over again that everything would be fine, that she knew I’d be a wonderful mother.

Dominique handed me a tissue, and I started to wipe up.  Dabbing at my cheeks, Mama San started talking about Spencer.  “Your brothers will be over the moon as soon as your wedding is over
and
they put their shotguns down.  Knowing Spencer
,
they won’t even have to tell him the guns are loaded. That boy has been in love with you forever.  He must be so excited that you’re going to give him a family.”

I shook my head as my lip quivered.  “He doesn’t
know yet, and he doesn’t
want children Mama San.  We broke up a few weeks ago when he told me that.  When he finds out
that I’m pregnant
, he’s going to go nuts.”

She gave me a wry look.  “I can’t believe he really feels that way, especially not knowing all about the way he took care of you girls when you were little.  Spencer and your brothers were destined to have an army of kids around them.”

Brooke nodded in agreement. “Aunt Sandra’s right.  Whatever he said, he didn’t really mean it.  Remember how Dante said he never wanted to get married?  Well look at where we are right now.  And Damien always said the same thing, and now we’re engaged.  People change.  Love changes things.  You have to believe that.”

Clearing her throat, Dominique stepped forward.  “I hope you guys are right, but I’ve recently discussed the issue of children with Spencer, and he
really
doesn’t want them.  I think he’ll support Delilah no matter what, but I don’t think for a second that he’s going to take this well.  We need to be on hand to support her.”

Our conversation stopped when there was a knock at the door.  Dominique looked at me for permission to tell whoever it was to come in, and after I nodded my head, she did.

Thankfully it was just Damien, coming to check on all of us.  He was nervous, and I could tell he’d assumed that something was wrong.  I jumped in before anyone else could say anything.  “Sorry about that Damien.  We were all in here crying over Brooke’s engagement ring and talking about what kind of wedding she wants.  You know how girls are!”

Brooke looked uncomfortable with the lie, but like the
good
sister
-in-law
that she
's going to be
, she nodded her head and turned to distract him.  “Honey, if they have their way, we’ll be getting married in a big church a year from now!”

It worked like a charm, and he bought it hook line and sinker. “
What? Are you
crazy? I’m not waiting two months much less twelve. If I had my way, we’d be getting married right now.”

The crisis was averted, but I knew that I had to tell Spencer immediately.  Brooke wouldn’t be able to live with keeping something this big from Damien, and she’d also probably tell Sabrina who would want to tell Dante, and then of course Dominique was going to tell Tally.  If I didn’t get ahead of this, someone else was going to do it for me.

Once Damien left the bathroom
,
I hugged them all and promised that I’d tell Spencer ASAP.  When I walked out of the bathroom, I was stunned to find that he had already gone.  Seeing that I was looking for him, Damien called out to me, “He got a phone call and had to leave right away.”

Dammit, I was ready to tell him tonight.  Now what?

She didn’t look thrilled, but she said she had to talk to me
as soon as possible
,
and that gave me hope.  If I could just get her to look at things from my view, if she could just understand that
we could be enough, that we do
n’t ne
ed children, I knew I could win
her back.
  I'd taken the ring out of my glove compartment, and was now walking around with in my pocket like a talisman.  I wanted to ask her, needed to get her to come around to my way of thinking.  It was selfish, but I loved her too much to let her go.

I was sitting at the table with Damien and Tally, watching them th
row
one-liners
at each other as they
laugh
ed
, thinking how wonderful it was that she’d blended in so well with the family.  When my phone started vibrating
,
I almost ignored it, but then I figured since I wasn’t taking part in the conversation, I might as well see what was up.

My entire body clenched when I saw I had nine missed calls from my mother, along with two text messages.  Why the fuck is she trying to hunt me down?  Swiping my finger across the screen, I pulled up her texts.

Marceline: Stop avoiding me
,
or you will be sorry.  Call me when you get this.

Marceline: Tick tock son.  If you don’t call me, you’re forcing me to go with plan b.

Plan B?  What the fuck did
that
mean?

Spencer: Mother, I’
m at Dante’s wedding
for god’s sake.  WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Marceline: I want you to an
swer your calls.
  You have forty-five minutes to get to my house.  If you aren’t here by then, you leave me no choice.

Spencer: What the hell? No choice about what?

Marceline: Let’s put it this way.  If you don’t get over here, I’m bringing the entire Hart family down.  No more questions.

I had no idea what that meant, but I needed to know what she was talking about.  Holding up my phone
,
I told Damien that I had an important call that I had to take, and that I was leaving.  He seemed surprised, but he nodded his head at me.  I was out the door in seconds, sliding into my car and peeling off into the night, my destination the house I see in my nightmares.

I made it in thirty minutes flat, and I stalked from my car to the front door in a rage.  What the fuck was she thinking
,
threatening me? 

The door opened before I even had a chance to knock, and I was greeted by both of my parents.  The fact that they looked pretty fucking pleased with themselves was my first clue that whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

I didn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that they were alarming me.  Instead I said, “Well, you’ve got me here.  Now what the fuck do you want?”