Lovely Shadows (2 page)

“So, needless to say, Dad is out another grand.”

“For a belt?”

He laughed. “Were you listening? Dylan blew the gasket on the truck. Then he stripped the brakes.”

“What the heck was he doing?”

“Drag racing at the Kyle farm.”

“No!” I gasped. “He took your dad's '57 Chevy and went drag racing? I sense a funeral in your future.”

“You better invest in a black dress.”

“I'll go shopping tomorrow.”

He sighed and looked up at the starry sky. “Nice night.”

“Hot night.” Sweat trickled down my back. “Want to swim?”

“Sure. Did you bring your suit?”

“No but I'm wearing a bra and underwear. It'll suffice.”

“Oh, what would your grandfather say?”

“He's not here is he? Besides, I own a bikini. It's essentially a bra and underwear.”

“Right.” We both stripped down to our undergarments and jumped into the water. Side by side we swam out to the raft that floated in the middle.

“Truth or dare?” he asked as we doggie-paddled around the raft.

“Seriously? Are we in the fourth grade?”

“Humor me.” He splashed a stream of water at me.

“Truth, I guess.”

“Did Billie really sleep with Oliver Pankoff?”

“Hey, best friends are off-limits, buddy.”

“Fair enough.” He paused. Then, “Well, did she?”

“No. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Of course. He never chose truth. “I dare you to swim naked for the rest of the night.”

“And I thought it would be something challenging.” He wrestled in the water for a moment then tossed his boxers on the raft. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Do you love me?”

“Wow, you get right to the point, don't you?”

He grabbed my ankle and yanked me toward him. “We've been playing this game since we were kids, Jessa. I'm ready for some kind of commitment. I love you and you know it. But I don't know where you stand.”

“Levi, I...” Did I love him? How was I supposed to define love? My parents amicably split and they still talked often. They explained to Luke and me that they divorced because they realized they loved each other for the wrong reasons. What were the right reasons to love someone? How could loving someone ever be wrong?

Levi released me and swam to the other side of the raft. I watched as he moved through the water under the glowing light of the moon. His tan arms moved with a grace that moved me. A small wake followed in his path. He was beautiful, no doubt, but looks alone couldn't sustain love. Something more substantial had to exist.

Was love really as complicated as it seemed? I'd never told another boy that I loved him. In fact, the words frightened me. Loving someone made you vulnerable; it gave them the power to lift you up or destroy you. I hated feeling weak and love, it seemed, could do that. Was I ready to give that much of myself to Levi? He wasn't asking for sex; he was asking for my heart. Sex seemed like a less daunting request.

He swam back to me, circling around me several times, awaiting my answer.

“How about this?” he said, stopping in front of me. “You choose dare and we can forget I asked.”

“I don't want to forget it, Levi. You're right, this has gone on too long. I wish you knew how hard this is for me. I mean, your parents are still married. Mine...their divorce really shook my faith in relationships.”

“And I understand that, Jessa. However, we're not them, and we're not my parents. It's just you and me, babe. You just have to decide if you trust me enough.”

“It's not you I don't trust. It's myself I'm worried about.”

“I'm not worried about you so you shouldn't be either.”

I kissed him. “Now, what was that dare you had in mind?”

He grinned. “If I have to be naked...”

Without a word, I undid my bra and slipped off my underwear. They joined his lonely boxers on the raft.

“How do you like me now?”

“I like you anyway I can have you.”

“Okay, truth or dare?” I guided the conversation back to safer grounds.

“Dare.”

“Race me across the pond. Loser has to give the other one a piggyback ride to the raft.”

“No, because you cheat.”

“I do not!”

“You do too. You always jump the gun then hide under the water pretending that you have a cramp when someone passes you.”

“I think you're scared.”

“Prove it. 1...2...”

He took off before he got to three. I chased after him, my arms slicing through the water as fast as they could. His athleticism beat my laziness and he reached the other shore before I was halfway across. With enviable ease, he raced back to me, laughing when he reached me.

“What, no false cramps?”

“I didn't have time to fake one! Are you on steroids or something? I've never seen you move that fast.”

“Love is a powerful source of fuel.” He turned around, his broad back facing me. “Hop on.”

“That wasn't the rule.”

“Break the rules every once in a while, would ya?”

“Fine.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Despite the fact we were both naked, it wasn't awkward. In fact, there was something natural about it, something right. My whole life Levi had been a part of everything I did. What made me believe he wouldn't be a part of my future?

“Hey Levi,” I whispered, my lips brushing his ear.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I know. I was waiting for you to realize it too.”

2.

Aidan Summers sat on the grassy bank of the pond, looking everywhere but at the couple frolicking in the water. Oh dear Jesus, he thought, get me out of here. But he couldn't leave and he knew it. He was stuck on this godforsaken planet until he completed his mission. Truth be told, he didn't really give a damn about it. He was dead, that's all there was to it. Why was it necessary to find his killer? Wasn't that the cops' job? Not that they would think to investigate the accident. It was obvious what happened.

He straightened his leather jacket and sighed. Even after three months, he still wasn't used to the fact that he was dead. D-E-A-D, dead. After the crash, he expected to walk into the white light and never look back. But no, he was stuck here in this endless purgatory.

Jessa laughed and he smiled. The one good thing about being on Earth was Jessa. Why she was the only one who could see him, he wasn't sure; he just knew he was glad that it was her and not Billie. Billie was sexy as hell, and knew it. However, she was also kind of ditzy. No, he certainly preferred Jessa. He found her fascinating. She seemed above the usual high school drama, and she was a skeptic to the core. She feared nothing because she believed in nothing. Instead of being put off, he found it intriguing. It only added to her allure .

Looking down at the dock, he watched as Jessa pulled her dress up over her shapely hips. Envy burned within him as Levi kissed her shoulders before slipping the straps over them. God, how he wished he could touch her himself! Grasping solid objects wasn't something he'd mastered yet. It required huge amounts of concentration and energy. Once he'd held a pen for three full seconds before he blacked out. When he came to, nearly two days had passed. That was the last time he'd attempted to hold anything. He was tempted every day to touch Jessa.

He followed her as she and Levi walked up the hill to her car. Slipping into the passenger seat, he waited as they finished making small talk and kissing. Now they were in love. Gag me, he thought. Of course he had expected this to happen. He wasn't above snooping in her diary. Countless pages were devoted to Levi's looks, personality, and character. In his opinion, the guy was dull. He ate, slept, and breathed the farm. Levi dreamed of taking over the family business. Aidan couldn't picture Jessa in a house dress, popping out one kid after another while canning vegetables. Jessa wasn't that way; she deserved better.

Finally, they were on the road for home. Her home, where Aidan took up residence in the attic like the true ghoul he was. For the most part, the attic was comfortable. He made a little bed for himself in the corner near the window. He liked looking out at the stars. There was comfort in knowing that while everything in life changed, the stars remained the same. Some nights, however, he sneaked down to Jessa's room to watch her sleep. Creepy, sure, but he loved listening to her breathe. She was evidence that life was still a beautiful thing. Once, he tried touching her, but she smacked him away without waking.

Jessa stared straight ahead, her eyes never leaving the road. He knew
she
knew he was there. How could he get her to talk to him? He was nothing more than a shadow to her, an annoyance.

Maybe there was a way to get her attention. For the first time in days, he reached for the solid round dial on the radio and concentrated on spinning it to shut the sound off. His hand trembled as the effort began to sap his energy. Still, he pressed on, concentrating as his fingers grasped the dial.

With as much strength as he could muster, he twisted the dial to the left. Instantly, the pounding bass she seemed to prefer died. Jessa simply reached over and cranked the stereo back up. Again, he turned the sound down. Then she turned it back up. Damn! She was as frustrating as hell!

“You are so irritating!” he shouted at her.

“I'm irritating?” she questioned, unfazed by his voice. “Irritating is being followed by...well, whatever it is that you are.”

His anger evaporated. “You can hear me?”

“Um, yeah, I'm not deaf.”

“Wow, you can hear me.” He wasn't sure if he was shocked or pleased. Probably a combination of both.

“We established that fact. What we haven't clarified is why you are following me.”

“I don't know,” he admitted. “I suppose because you're the only one who can see me.”

“Really? I wonder what that says about me.” She bit her lip in thought. “So what are you—a ghost or something?”

“Ghost, I guess. I died three months ago. Car wreck.” He shrugged.

“Sorry to hear that,” she said sympathetically. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen. Left my mother, father, two sisters, and a brother behind. No girlfriend.”

“No girlfriend?” she asked, surprised.

“Only an ex-girlfriend. She cheated, we broke up...”

“Oh, sorry. Why can't your family see you?”

“I haven't been back to see them. I'm sure you can understand that.”

“Not really. Wouldn't you want to see them one last time?”

“I prefer the last memory of my mother not to be of her weeping over my grave.”

“Oh. So what happened?”

He shook his head. “I vaguely recall a set of headlights swerving into my lane while another car attempted to pass me. I had no where to go but over the riverbank. Car exploded, I wound up here.”

“Why didn't you go into the white light?”

He shrugged. “Couldn't find it. Trust me, I looked for it. Either it doesn't exist, or I really do need to complete my mission.”

“And what mission would that be?”

He turned away from her and looked out the window.

“To find out who killed me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” she said as she pulled into the driveway. “I thought you were in a car crash.”

He nodded. “I was, but it wasn't just a crash. I was run off the road.

“You said that already. Do you believe it was intentional?”

“Absolutely.”

She killed the engine and stared out the windshield. Aidan watched her face while she processed everything he'd just said. Her fast acceptance of him caught him off-guard. For a girl who didn't believe in anything, she trusted him quickly. Several emotions played in her eyes. He wished she'd say something—anything—so he'd know what she was thinking. Her thoughts were interesting as her journal could attest.

“I need to think.” She went inside the house, retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge, then went up to her room. She excused herself to the bathroom. After a few minutes she returned, wearing her pajamas. Sinking down onto the bed, she said, “Okay, I need all the details.”

“You're helping me?”

She nodded. “Look, you need to cross over and I need my life back. You cannot follow me forever.”

“Does your boyfriend have issues with ghosts?”

“He doesn't know. Besides, what is there to say? I'm willing to help you if you just stop following me.”

“Deal. What exactly do you need to know?”

“Everything. What is your name?”

“Aidan Summers.”

“Now, tell me what happened. Leave nothing out.”

“I'm from Blue Rapids. The night I died we had a party for my brother, Ryan. He was shipping out to Iraq the next day.”

“My dad's a solider too,” she interjected.

“I know. You talk about him in your sleep.”

“You've watched me sleep?” She sounded...flattered. Strange.