Lovely Shadows (13 page)

He also learned that today was Wednesday. Over a week had passed since he left Jessa. Settling against the seat, he closed him eyes. He wasn't tired, but he needed to relax and concentrate. If he did something stupid now, there was no telling how far he'd wind up this time. At this rate, he could land somewhere in France. Every ounce of energy was crucial.

He wished the girls would shut up. Their shallow and cavalier attitudes annoyed him. Jessa was so different from them. She wasn't obsessed with clothes and makeup. She didn't gossip about or trash-talk people. She was kind and generous, even going as far as setting up her best friend and brother. Aidan wondered how that relationship was going. Did anything come of the date? He winced, thinking of the clueless Luke, whom he was really starting to like. Billie was like a bull in a china shop when it came to men. Poor Luke didn't stand a chance against her.

The girls stopped outside of St. Louis . Aidan used this as an excuse to switch rides. He found another car going west into Colorado. They'd have to pass Blue Rapids; he'd go the rest of the way to Browton on foot.

Fortunately, the occupants of the mid-sized sedan were much better company. A small family of five—mother, father, two boys, and one girl—talked and laughed and sang for much of the trip. Aidan hung over the younger boy's seat, watching him play a video game. Aidan beat the game himself shortly before his death.

“Go through that door,” he said, projecting just enough for the boy to hear him.

Startled, the boy looked over his shoulder then back at the game. He directed his character through the suggested door. On the other side, he found medical supplies, food, and a bunch of money.

“Thanks,” the boy whispered. Surprised, Aidan chuckled.

As they rolled through Blue Rapids Aidan slid out of the car and tumbled onto the ground. He rolled a few times before leaping to his feet. Just a few miles outside of downtown, Aidan thanked his lucky stars he didn't actually have to see anyone. He ran to the west, wishing he could feel the wind against his face. He couldn't tell if the air was cool or not. Most likely, the temps hovered near ninety.

He passed through the next town then hitched a ride on the back of a pickup truck. The bed was littered with hay, and smelled like pigs. He wrinkled his nose against the stench. Maybe his senses weren't as dull as he thought.

“Aidan!”

He nearly fell off the truck. She was screaming for him again. The sound hurt his ears. The closer he got to Browton the louder the screaming became. It was as if her very soul was crying out for him.

When the truck crossed the city limit sign, Aidan hopped down and hurried towards Jessa's house. Every step brought him one step closer to her; every second felt like a year. He reached the house a few minutes later. All the lights were off save for a faint glimmer in the attic. The screaming continued. Covering his ears in attempt to drown out the pain in her voice, he slipped through the door and up the stairs. Carefully, he entered the attic. Jessa laid curled up on his makeshift bed, looking very much like a small child. In the attic, the screaming intensified a hundred times. Dropping down he gently shook her.

“Jessa,” he whispered.

“Aidan,” she whispered back. Her eyes remained closed. He saw they were red-rimmed and damp. Blessedly, the screaming ceased.

“Jessa.” He projected his voice, hoping she would wake up.

She let out a small cry. “Come back to me, Aidan. Come back...”

“Jessa, I'm here.” He shook her once more. “I'm here, Jessa. Open your eyes and look at me.”

“No. If I do, you'll leave again.”

“Jessa, I'll never leave again, I swear, but you have to open your eyes.”

“No,” she said, her voice firm.

“Fine.” He reached down and yanked the blanket off of her. She immediately tried to grab it from him. He tossed the blanket behind him, grabbed her wrist and brought it his lips. He kissed a trail from her palm to the inside of her elbow. She laid still, as if she were afraid to move. This was okay with him. At least she wasn't going to fight him.

He propped himself up over her, staring down at her beautiful face. Absence had not erased the impact her beauty had on him. If anything, he found her all the more enchanting. The perfect curve of her jaw; the slight dip of her nose; the slightly lopsided corner of her mouth; the delicate arch of her eyebrows—Aidan knew every feature. He'd committed them to memory. Bending down, he brushed his lips across hers, careful not to tempt fate again. The last time he'd kissed her...He couldn't think of that now, not when he'd just found her again.

Still, he couldn't stop himself from kissing her. He grazed over cheeks and jaw, down her neck and across her collarbone. She inhaled sharply but still didn't open her eyes.

“Jessa, look at me.”

“I can't.” Silent tears coursed down her cheeks.

“Why?”

“If I open my eyes, you'll disappear like all dreams do when I wake up.”

“No,” he stroked her hair, “I promise I won't leave this time.”

“Maybe not this time, but soon.”

He sighed, the knife of truth cutting him deep. “Soon, yes, but not right now. Right now, I'm here. And I want to see you open your eyes. Look at me, Jessa.”

“If you disappear, I'll die, Aidan. I can't lose you again.”

“Trust me.”

Her eyes briefly fluttered before she fully opened them. She gasped once, then began crying. Wrapping her arms around his neck—he carefully projected, using only the smallest amount of energy necessary—she buried her face into his shoulder as sobs wracked her body. She shook so violently he was afraid she'd shatter in his arms. He held her for a long time. The moon shifted its position in the sky several times before she finally quieted.

She pulled back and stared in to his eyes. “Where have you been?”

“In Illinois, apparently. I just woke up today.”

“You've been sleeping all this time?”

He nodded. “Seven days straight, I guess.”

“I've missed you so much. I've slept up here nearly every night since you vanished. Nothing is the same without you.”

“You have your grandfather and Luke; you have Billie and Levi,” he pointed out, though he choked on the last name.

“But I didn't have you. That matters just as much.”

He ran his finger across her cheek. “I've missed you, too. Of course, I've been unconscious for a week, but the moment I opened my eyes, all I could think about was getting to you.”

He told her about waking up in the woods and hitchhiking his way to Browton. She told him about Billie and Luke, the tornado, and what living without him felt like.

“Everyday I felt like I was choking, as if my lungs didn't have enough air.”

He grinned. “I think you exaggerate. Besides, you've had Levi...”

“Yeah.”

“How are things between the two of you?”

“Well, he kind of proposed to me.”

Aidan felt instantly defeated. “What happened?”

“I didn't accept, but I didn't necessarily refuse either. I just didn't know what to say, Aidan. You were gone, I felt lost. I love Levi but...”

She held his head between her hands. “There's no doubt I'll probably spend the rest of my life with Levi. Even me and all my cynicism can't deny that; I guess you could call it the consequence of living in a small town. I'll spend the rest of my life with Levi, but I'll spend every moment of this life, and every moment of eternity, loving you. He'll have my heart for this life, but you'll have my heart forever. I love you, Aidan.”

“I love you, Jessa.”

They stared at each for a moment, lost in the wonder of being together once more. Projecting wasn't that difficult anymore. Maybe a week's worth of rest recharged his batteries. Jessa ran her hand over his cheeks and down his chest. Her hair fell over her face, hiding her expression. He tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked peaceful. The thought that his presence filled something in her awed him.

For the first time since he laid eyes on her, he wasn't overcome with the lustful urges. No, what he felt was far deeper, more spiritual, than anything he'd ever experienced in his entire life.

She looked up at him, her green eyes growing heavy with sleep.

“Hold me?” she asked.

“Of course.” They laid down, and he tucked her against him. He wrapped his arm around her, terrified to let her go. Fear, even in the face of death, wasn't something he'd felt on a large level. Leaving Jessa again scared him more than anything ever would.

Her breathing gradually slowed and became even.

“Jessa?”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you were asleep.”

“No,” she yawned. “I'm not tired.”

“Yes, you are. Close your eyes.”

“I'm afraid to.”

He laughed. “First you were afraid to open your eyes; now you're afraid to close them.”

“Both scare me, Aidan. Whether I close my eyes or not, you could still vanish.”

He kissed the back of her head. “Jess, I promise I won't leave tonight, or even tomorrow. I feel strong, probably stronger than I've felt in a while. So please, try and rest.”

“No,” she whispered as she began losing her battle with fatigue.

“Yes.” He began humming a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was a kid. Jessa went slack in his arms. He continued humming well into the morning hours.

“I told Billie about you,” she informed him just after lunch the next day.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Turns out Billie has visions. I see ghosts; she's somewhat of a psychic.”

“Honestly?”

“Uh-huh.” She quickly plaited her hair into two thick braids. “She wants to meet you. Are you up for it?”

“Is this a good idea?” He didn't think so.

“Well, she helped me a lot while you were gone. We did some investigating and found out lots of things I think will help. Do you care if I invite her over?”

“It's your house,” he shrugged.

She kissed his cheek. “I want you to be comfortable.”

He sighed. “Well, I don't see the harm.”

Truthfully, it wasn't Billie he was worried about. He wasn't sure he could endure a two-hour conversation about Luke. Jessa called Billie who promptly arrived fifteen minutes later. Even though he found her somewhat dull, Billie really was a gorgeous girl. Still, she didn't hold a candle to Jessa.

“Where is he?” Billie asked, her eyes scanning the room.

“There.” Jessa pointed at her bed.

“I don't see anything. I thought you said he was solid or something.”

“He is to me. Maybe it's because I am attuned to him. He can project himself so you can see him but it makes him super tired. Try this: Clear your mind of all your preconceived notions and focus on my bed. Imagine shaggy reddish-brown hair falling over the most gorgeous hazel eyes you've ever seen. He's wearing a black leather jacket, white t-shirt, and blue jeans. He has the cutest scar on his chin...”

“I got it.” Billie said, rolling her eyes. Aidan sat still, all the while feeling like a piece of meat at the market.

Billie stared so hard he wondered if she had a headache. Then her eyes popped wide open. Lifting one hand, he gave a small wave. She gasped and back up against Jessa's wall.

“You were serious!”

Jessa nodded. “Yeah, I was. I take it you see him.”

“He's kind of hard to miss. He's sort of translucent, though. And he shimmers.”

Aidan looked at his arms and legs. He didn't look any different than usual.

“W-O-W, wow! I cannot believe you're in love with a real angel.”

Aidan chuckled. “I don't know if I classify as an angel. Look, no wings.”

“He speaks!” Billie kept speaking in a high-pitched awed tone. “Unbelievable. Can I touch him?”

Jessa snorted. “Don't ask me, ask him.”

Aidan moved cautiously toward Billie, careful not to frighten her further. He took her hand and kissed it. “Pleased to formally meet you.”

“Yeah,” she breathed, looking somewhat dazed.

It was in that moment that Aidan was supremely glad Jessa was the only to ever see him. If everyone reacted to him the way Billie did, he'd get a swelled head. He sat down on the floor at the foot of the bed. Jessa sat next to him and held his hand. Billie laid on the floor facing them.

“I just can't get over it.”

“Me either,” Jessa and Aidan said at the same time.

That broke the tension. They all laughed.

“Okay, you said you had some new info. Let me hear it.”

Billie filled him on their trip to Blue Rapids.

“Margie is the worst gossip ever,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I know what she was talking about. Trust me, it wasn't Kevin Southland.”

“So what happened between the two of you?” Jessa asked.

“Before a track meet during my junior year of high school, I saw Kevin and a couple of his buddies popping pills. Thinking they might be steroids, I told the coach who then informed the police. An investigation was done, and Kevin and the other two had speed in their system. It wasn't steroids, but still, they were still performance-enhancing drugs. Kevin's dad harassed my family for a while, until he discovered his son had a little drug-ring operating out of his bedroom.”