Lovely Shadows (15 page)

“Jess, I'm not leaving. Don't worry. I slept the entire time you were gone.”

“I can't help it,” I said. “While you slept the week away, I was awake. Trust me, your absence was harder on me.”

“I'm not arguing with that. How was dinner?”

“Fine, other than Levi's brother Michael kept staring at me. Turns out he had a crush on me for years. Ironic, because I used to have a crush on him. Levi's feeling threatened.”

“Now that's
ironic
!” Aidan laughed. “He's worried about his brother, whom you obviously have no feelings for, and not the ghost you're in love with.”

“He doesn't know you exist,” I pointed out.

“True.” He looked sad.

“Hey.” I turned his head towards me. “I don't like that look on your face. This is you and me, no one else exists.”

“For life,” he said.

“For eternity,” I clarified.

I spent the night in Aidan's arms. When I woke up the next morning, he was gone. Panic instantly filled me. I ran through every room in the house, then raced up to the attic. I pushed past Luke in the hallway.

“Where's the fire?” he commented.

I didn't answer. The attic was empty too. The crushing force of the memory of his absence sat on my chest. I thought my heart would burst from the weight of it.

“Aidan, where are you?” I called out into the darkness, not caring if Luke or Grandpa heard me or not.

Immediately, he was there, holding me like a small child.

“I stepped out. Didn't you get my note?”

I shook my head. The weight left me.

He sighed. “I'm sorry, Jessa. I left a note on your desk. I had to do something.”

“What?”

“I needed to think for a while. I think better when I'm alone.”

“Oh.” I felt foolish. He left a note; he merely stepped outdoors. Why was I acting so crazy?

I joined Luke and Grandpa for breakfast. Grandpa made house calls throughout the week, usually counseling families or helping the elderly with their to-do lists. He did his best to meet the needs of his congregation. He often spread the workload between himself and the elders. Sometimes I was sent to help with the kids in the middle school youth group. Thankfully, Grandpa had no need for me today. I had a to-do list of my own, which mostly consisted of following the leads Darren gave me.

“Absolutely not!” Aidan protested loudly when I explained my plan. “You are not going anywhere near Darren.”

I sighed impatiently. “I'm not going to talk to Darren. I'm going to talk to Amber.”

“No,” he insisted. “I want you no where near that family.”

“Then how am I supposed to help you?”

“You help me by staying alive, Jessa. Darren Foster isn't someone you want to mess with. You're on his radar now, and not just you but Billie too. Please, just send what you have to the police...”

“They already investigated Aidan; they found nothing. If an anonymous letter suddenly shows up, do you really think they'll take it seriously?”

“Yes! That's what all our hard-earned tax dollars do for us: They pay the police to do their jobs.”

“But Aidan...”

“Jessa I wish you'd listen to me about this.”

I slid my arms around his waist and stared up at him. “If it gets too dangerous, I'll quit. I'll go to the police in person.”

“The problem is, you have no idea how dangerous things have become.”

I didn't argue further. He remained immovable on the issue. I sat down at my desk and wrote out my plan anyway. Dad used to tell me a person forewarned is forearmed. In the military, you have to have a battle plan. Otherwise, you'll have chaos. Aidan stayed on the other side of the room, refusing to participate at all. So I ignored him, refusing to be swayed by his silence.

I went downstairs to the computer and checked my email. I had a couple of chain letters, a dirty joke from Becky Shears which I promptly deleted, and a message from Dad. Resting my arms against the desk, I clicked on it.

Hey Little Lady!

How are you? I know I should call or write more but we're busy here. Our deployment date has been pushed back a few weeks, so I'll have a furlough soon. It won't be for long, but any time I can squeeze in with you kids is enough for me. How is Luke Skywalker? Does he have a girlfriend yet? How are things between you and Levi? Yes, I know that you're seeing him. I still have friends in Browton, you know. I guess I'll need to have “the talk” with him when I get there. Take care of yourself, kiddo. I miss you. I love you xoxo Dad

I clicked on the reply button and wrote:

Hey Dad!

I'm doing fine. I know you're busy; I'm busy too. Yes, Luke has a girlfriend but I'll let him tell you about it if he wants to. You know me—I don't like speaking for other people. Levi and I are dating. In fact, we're serious but please don't worry. I'm not doing anything stupid. Besides, you've known him just as long as I have. Are you shocked that we're together after all these years? I know you've always wanted a life for me outside of Browton but honestly, I like it here. Other than helping Grandpa at church, not much has been going on. I can't wait to see you. I love you. xoxo Jessa

I clicked the send button. A few seconds later, the confirmation message popped up. I clicked the x then logged off. I jumped on the few social sites I belonged to; as I suspected, nothing interesting was happening with anyone else. It seemed I was having the most eventful summer of all my friends.

I made a sandwich and went back upstairs. Aidan now sat at my desk, holding up the paper that held my plan.

“This is asinine, you know?”

“It's the best option. How else am I going to get close to Amber without her brother there?”

“Do you really think posing as a journalist researching teen moms is the best route? I mean, why Amber?”

“For starters, she sounds kind of stupid. She left you for a Neanderthal. That doesn't exactly scream intelligence. Also, Amber
is
a teen mom. That kind of makes my plan...What?”

Aidan's face drained of color. He looked pale, even for a ghost. Worried, I went over and crouched down in front of him.

“Aidan?” He didn't move.

I shook him. “Aidan!”

His eyes slowly met mine. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing. I said your name.”

“No, before that. About Amber being...a mom.” He made a choking sound, like something was lodged in his throat. Ghosts couldn't choke to death, could they?

“Yes, Amber has a son. You didn't know that?”

I found this hard to believe. Blue Rapids was even smaller than Browton. How was it possible he didn't know?

“Amber has a son,” was all he muttered before he completely vanished from my arms.

12.

Aidan struggled to get a grip on himself. Concentrating on Jessa, he fought his way back to visibility. Jessa hadn't moved in the two minutes since he'd left. She'd expected his immediate return, he realized with relief.

“Sorry,” he said. Hearing that Amber had a child shocked him as nothing else could.

“How did you not know?” She asked, concern evident on her face.

“She moved after we broke up. I heard rumors of course, but I never thought much of them. Amber has a son...Wow.”

Jessa stiffened. “Aidan, is he...what I mean, is Amber's...” She noticeably struggled to get the words out.

“Is he mine?” he offered. She nodded.

“No, he's not. I never slept with Amber. I guess I'm just surprised the rumors were true. They usually aren't. Do you know what his name is?”

“No. I didn't think it mattered.”

He pulled her up into his lap. “Honestly, it doesn't. Sorry I freaked out on you.”

“That's okay. I freaked earlier. Now we're even.”

He held her while he pondered this new information. Earlier that morning, long before Jessa woke, he'd slipped out and taken a walk through the fields behind her house. He'd told her the truth: He thought better when he was alone. He intended to return before she woke up but obviously, he miscalculated. The plot surrounding his death thickened. Darren Foster was suddenly a key player. But who else was involved? Not Amber, he was certain. She didn't have the guts or the ambition to plan something like that. That left Darren and Andy, whom he'd briefly met on one occasion. Andy wasn't from Blue Rapids so Aidan had no reason to acquaint himself with the guy. But if he was friends with Darren then no doubt he was involved somehow.

Jessa remained determined to solve this mystery herself, with or without his help. The best thing he could do is play along and try his hardest to protect her.

Really, he couldn't see the harm in meeting Amber. She'd never seen Jessa. He just hoped Amber wouldn't tell Darren about the meeting. Otherwise, it could turn into a problem. Fighting Darren wasn't something he could do without serious repercussions. As much as he hated the thought, he wondered if there was a way to involve Levi. After all, no one loved Jessa as much as Aidan, except Levi. Maybe with Levi's help, he could keep Jessa safe.

“Whatever you're thinking, the answer is no,” she scolded firmly.

“You don't even know what's going on in my head.”

“Yeah, that's what scares me the most. What is on your mind?”

“Levi.”

“Levi?” She looked skeptical. “Why?”

“I can't keep you safe, Jessa. I'm not strong enough for that, but Levi is. If there is anyway he can help...”

“Uh-uh, no way. I am not putting Levi in danger.”

“Oh, but it's okay for you to risk your life?”

“When it comes to you, yes. But once you leave, Aidan, all I'll have is Levi. Losing you is going to be devastating enough. I can't live through losing him, too.”

He sighed. Any further arguments would be met with sound rebuttals. How could he get her to understand his fears? She obviously thought he was overreacting.

“Then Luke?” he suggested.

“If I'm not willing to sacrifice Levi, do you honestly think I'd sacrifice my brother?”

He pounded the desk. “This is frustrating! You are in over your head.”

“Huh, that's what Darren said.”

“How wonderful,” he retorted sardonically. “The psychopath and I have a thought in common. The idiot warned you.”

“Aidan, why is he bad? You still haven't given me one reason to think otherwise.” She stared at him expectantly.

“Where do I begin?” He thought for a moment. “Okay, how about two days after I dumped his sister a dead cat was found on my doorstep.”

“How do you know it was him?”

“Because who else would? He's sadistic and everyone knows it. He's into weapons—guns, knives, swords—I mean, the guy is nuts.”

“So he has a hobby.”

Jessa's calm rationalizations frustrated him. How could such a smart girl be so dense?

“He once told me that he'd kill me if I ever broke his sister's heart.”

She laughed. “Aidan, every brother tells the boyfriend that. Didn't you ever tell your sisters' boyfriends if they broke your sister's heart you'd break their face?”

“Not once.”

She shook her head. “Aidan, I trust you. If you say this guy is dangerous then I believe you. I'm still pursuing this whether you approve or not. This isn't about you crossing over anymore; this is about finding your killer and getting him put away; this is about your family getting some closure.”

“As far as they know, I died in a car wreck. That's closure enough.”

“Aidan, please just trust me.”

“I trust you. I don't trust him, or my ability to keep you safe.”

“I guess we're at a stalemate.”

“I guess so.” Better than a checkmate, he thought.

The next morning Jessa left with the Reverend for a round of house calls. Aidan left as well, and headed for Blue Rapids. He hitched another ride then hopped off near his house. He cut through a few backyards the down the slope to the river. From there he could see the back of his house. Up on the small wooden deck was his mother. She sat on a chair, gazing out at the river. From this distance Aidan couldn't see if she'd been crying or not. Truthfully, he didn't want to know. He moved along the bank and continued up stream. Then he veered off course and went up the hill and into a corn field. The tall stalks brushed against him, their razor sharp leaves as soft as feathers.

On the other side of the field Aidan crossed a small dirt lane and disappeared into another field. Then he was standing in the backyard of Amber's house. He'd told Jessa the truth—Amber had moved after they broke up. Then she'd moved back just before his death. He never saw her—not at the store, or bank, or post office. He knew she was around so he avoided her at all cost. He never saw the baby, either. At the time, he still didn't believe the baby existed.

He made his way up the the back door and slipped through into the garage. He entered the side door and stepped into the kitchen. The place was a wreck. Cabinet doors hung haphazardly from their hinges. Dishes piled high in the sink; the trash overflowed; the floor needed cleaned. Quickly he moved into the bathroom, which wasn't in much better shape. Two bedrooms were located at the end of the hall. No bigger than a closet, the first room obviously belonged to the boy. Toys scattered across the wooden floor, the blue walls were cracked and peeling. A single crib sat in one corner, a dresser against the opposite wall. At least the floors in this room had some semblance of normalcy.