Love You Anyways (12 page)

“Why didn’t you leave her?” Tessa snapped.

Lucas looked at her stunned.

“Why would you put up with it Lucas? God! Collin told me he thought something was going on and…”
Tessa began.

“Collin knew?” Lucas sounded shocked.

Jade laughed. “Where do you think the letter came from telling you jackass?”

“Shit that was jus
t recently, I’ve known for years.”

“And you did nothing?” Ava cried.

“What should I have done Ava? Leave her and see you two every other weekend?”

“We would have stayed with you!”

“It wouldn’t have been your choice. Besides up until a year ago it was just a suspicion. No damn it. I’m not going to explain myself to you. Shit happens. That’s it.” I scratched my head. “The man I suspected she was with is a politician. His brother is the fuck that had you two arrested. That’s what my kids would have dealt with, fucking scum like that and that wasn’t happening. Ava you tell me what you want and I will consider it but you have to consider that Logan is at a very impressionable age. I can handle my shit just fine I can assure you that.”

Ava stood and hugged me
. “Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

“We have until June; give me at least that long.”

“Okay.”

Harper
took Ava’s hand. “Let’s go eat cake.”

She smiled. “Do I look okay?”

“Hot as always.”

“Good I need to get laid.”

“Ava!” I snapped.

“Dad how the hell do y
ou hear everything?” Ava and Harper laughed as they followed Maddox down the stairs.

After they were gone I looked around the room at John, Tessa, and Jade.
“Look this isn’t a big deal.”

“It kind of is.” Jade gave me a hug.

“No it’s karma coming back and she’s pissed off at me.” I laughed and stepped back.

“You mean God Lucas?” John asked.

“Nope. Defiantly karma.” I smiled at John. “Okay let’s go eat cake.”

Jade and John left and Tessa stood looking at me.

“I’m fine. You gotta march that ass downstairs and smile for your girl.”

“I know but I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit her.”

“Tessa I would’ve done the same thing.” I nodded to the stairs. “Wanna race?”

She smiled sadly, “Yeah.”

“You first.” She started walking and I was checking out her ass when she looked back and hell yes she caught me. “Links you first.”

“Baby I’ve had a bad night.” I stuck my lip out and pouted. “Just let me have this moment.”

“You are an ass.” She laughed and continued walking.

“Did I mention it’s been a real bad night? You could at least shake that ass for
me; you know just to help me out.”

And no shit, she did.
Thank you God
.

~

Jade and Ryan were dancing. Phoebe and Alex were dancing. John and Maggie were dancing. Ava and that fucking drummer were dancing. His hands were a little too low on her hips and his lips were on hers.
Hell no!

I was about ready to walk over and grab him when Tessa grabbed my arm. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I pointed as the boy T glanced over at me. “Right there.”

“Lucas leave them alone,” she laughed.

“That boy rubs me the wrong damn way.”

“I could always have Liam cut
in.” She laughed.

My jaw dropped and then snapped shut.

“Go ahead say whatever you wanna say.”

“You knew about Liam and Ava?”

“Well sort of.”

“Then you owe me Ross
...”

“Abrahams.” She looked down and frowned.

“Same girl, you haven’t changed.”

She let out a deep breath and then looked up at me.

“You’ll be okay girl, I promise. But you do owe me.”

Her lips curved a bit, “And why do I owe you?”

“You knew about Ava and Ash and never told me.”

“Lucas I really wanted to. I told Collin he
had to tell you.”

“Well apparently he did via letter from Jade. But you still owe me
because the letter came six months ago and…”

“No.” She shook her head back and forth. “It was in December that he told me. The night before.” She stopped and closed her eyes again.

“It’s okay. Stop okay; we don’t need to talk about it. You’ve done so well today. Every day.” I stopped and took her hand and dragged her behind me to the dance floor right next to my daughter. When I turned around Tessa rolled her eyes. “What?”

“You should let her have fun.”

“She’s had a rough night. I don’t want her thinking that sucking face will make it better.”

“There’s worse ways to deal with pain.”

“Oh yeah like what?” I asked as I pulled her just a little closer.

“Smoking pot?” Tessa laughed and so did I. When Toby, Tessa
’s family friend and the boy she ran to when I fucked up the first time in high school died in a tragic accident she went to a party and smoked pot.

The song changed and I had to ac
t like I hadn’t heard it a hundred times since her husband’s death and thought about her. The Fray,
Look After You
.

I’m sure the fact that I pulled her even closer didn’t go unnoticed, nor did the fact that she relaxed further as we danced.

Fuck if this song wasn’t perfect. I would be the one looking after her, for the rest of her life. Ashley was right; I was still in love with Tessa Ann Ross-Abraham.

Chapter 13

Champagne

The morning after the wedding I woke to Ava sobbing and ran down the hall thinking it was another dream. It wasn’t. Logan was comforting her. After a phone call to her mother that apparently didn’t go well.

I must have looked like a deer in the headlights when I looked at Logan because he asked if I thought he didn’t know what the fuck had been going on. I explained that I hoped to get through his senior year and he explained to me that his mother had been prepping h
im for this day for at least seven months now. That he had overheard conversations she had on the phone where she was giggly and as he put it ‘Acting like a fucking sophomore girl when he smiled at her.’ I wanted to ask him why he didn’t bother telling me because I had no clue until six months ago but I didn’t. I wouldn’t have wanted to be in his position and I wouldn’t be making this any harder on my kids than I had to.

I tried to talk Ava into
calling her but she flat out refused. She had pieced together times when her mother acted differently and she felt betrayed. I would never tell her that during her senior prom her mother wasn’t there because she was fucking Robert to hurt me. I had been played like that a time or twenty and I wouldn’t use my kids as fucking pawns in a game of which parent was more fucked up.

Logan stayed wi
th Jade and Ryan when I took Ava back to school and then swung by to chat with Ashley. Check this shit out; she already had papers drawn up by her lawyer, the same fuck she was banging.  She wanted to be sure Logan was allowed to drive to see her every other weekend and I told her that was up to him and that she should put forth the effort to come stay with him. I would gladly leave the house for the weekend. Logan was a senior with friends and sports that kept him busy. She insisted on hanging onto the lie that I did this and how lucky I was that fate took Collin out of the picture because she was sure I was ecstatic. I informed her that she was a cold bitch and that if Collin was still here I wouldn’t have a chance in hell with Tessa and if she hadn’t cheated I wouldn’t have that chance either. That I would have been faithful to her forever. She laughed in my face and I swear to you, through everything we had been through, I had never thought she was as hideous as she was right now.

On my drive home I called Ryan. I wanted to know how Logan was and after I knew he was alright I told him everything Ash had said. I heard a familiar laugh in the background and knew Tessa was there.

“What’s Tessa doing?”

“She and Jade are looking at old pictures, with Logan.”

“Really?”

“
Yes sir. When will you be back?”

“A couple hours.”

“Great stop over for dinner,” he said and then whispered. “I’ll try to keep her here.”

“Ryan don’t do that. Logan…”

“Is fine, man.”

~

When I pulled in an hour and a half later, Logan was walking out of the house.

“Where you think you’re going?” I patted his back and smiled.

“Dex and I are going to the mall.”

“Then back here?”

“Sure.”

“Wait what does sure
mean?”

“Well he wanted me to come over but in light of recent events if you need me…”

“I always need you Logan but your life doesn’t change because of this.”

“That’s what I told Ava this morning. That it’s not like
Mom’s been here much anyway.”

“So Ava asked you to baby
sit your old man?” It made me laugh.

“Yeah I guess.” He scratched his head and laughed too.

“What do you want to do?”

“Stay the night at his place. His brothers
’ home from Afghanistan and I kind of wanted to hang out with them.”

“Go. Don’t drink, don’t drive…”

“Wear a condom. Maybe a helmet and sit in an adult size car seat?”

“Exactly. Call me when you get there and if you leave.”

“Got it.” He started walking away and then stopped. “You okay Dad?”

“I am
, Logan.” He looked at me like he wanted to ask another question but couldn’t. I knew exactly what it was. “Your mom is too buddy. She and I are dissolving our marriage but I promise to try to do everything in my power to make it alright okay?”

“I know. Love ya Dad
. Talk to you later.”

~

I walked next door after showering and changing my clothes. Not to impress Tessa but because I had spent at least nine hours in a damn vehicle today and I was tired but really wanted to see her tonight.

When I walked in she and Jade were sitting in the living room. “Ryan around?”

“Out back at the grill. Did you see Logan?”

“Yeah. Thanks for hangin
g out with him today.”

“I don’t know how we got through it
, he’s a dreadful boy,” Jade laughed and Tessa elbowed her. “He knows I’m joking. I love Loggie.”

“How was Ava?”

“Ava is perfect.” I grabbed my phone out of my pocket remembering I forgot to call her like I promised when I got home and sent her a text letting her know.

My phone immediately rang and there she was on the screen at seven years old smiling a big toothless grin looking as cute as a button.

“Hey Ava…Yes I saw her… Yep everything is alright,” I covered the receiver so she couldn’t hear me, “Excuse me a moment.” And I walked into the kitchen.

I told Ava that we signed papers and she was so angry and wanted to know how this happened so soon and then a split second later asked when the divorce would take place. Then she told me she was happy
that I could move on with my life and then she started to cry. I turned around to see Jade and Tessa standing there. I walked around them to go outside and have the, what I assumed would be a twenty minute conversation trying to calm her down.

When she was
calmed down, I told her I knew she could handle this and asked that she not tell Logan yet. I wanted to be the one to tell him.

After the call ended
, I walked out and looked at Tessa and Jade, who were both a bit tipsy and looking at me like I was a poor little puppy dog who was lost. I raised my eyebrow. “Still don’t like it when people look like they feel sorry for me.”

“
You’re separated?” Tessa gasped, “That was fast.”

“Not really.” I was uncomfortable as hell having this conversation with her. “Beer?”

“Fuck that,” Jade laughed, “It’s a champagne kind of night.”

I laughed and excuse myself. I went
home and grabbed four bottles from the case from my wedding that I planned on drinking when this day finally came. And drink we did. We laughed and talked about the old days. About football, field hockey, and epic fuck ups that weren’t funny but after all that champagne they seemed fucking hysterical.

Somewhere around midnight I stumbled into the bathroom and found Tessa sitting on the ground next to the toilet.

“You okay?”

“Just waiting.”

“For what Tessa.”

“To puke. It’s gonna happen. Always does. First the room spins, then the stomach turns and then it’s all over but the crying.”

“You been drinking a lot?”

She started laughing, “No. But I’m no good at it.”

I sat down next to her and laughed.

“Jade and Ryan?”

“Sleeping,” I answered.

“I’m
...I gotta go home.”

“I don’t think you’re in any shape to drive.”

She closed one eye and looked at me.

“You winking at me Tessa?”

“No I’m trying…there are two of you.” I laughed and she did to. “Water, ibuprofen, bed, sleep, hangover, and no more drinking.”

“I can get you the water, ibuprofen and tuck you in. I can’t do a damn thi
ng about the hangover.”

I pulled her up and steadied her. “I can do this.”

“Okay! You pretend you can tough girl and I will pretend I’m not helping you.”

I got her in the kitchen where she swayed as she held onto the counter. We each had
a glass of water and two ibuprofen.

“You sure this is ibuprofen?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“Wait, are you taking me to bed?” She stumbled when she turned around and looked up at me. She tried to put her hand on her hip and missed. She was fucked up.

I covered my mouth trying to hide the grin threatening and nodded my head.

She closed one eye again and looked sternly at me. “I’m not going to have sex with you.”

I couldn’t help laugh out loud and she dove towards me and covered my mouth. “You’ll wake up Jade.”

I pulled her hand from my mouth and picked her up. “Don’t move damn it or we’ll both fall down the stairs.” I said as I carried her to my old bedroom.

I set her on the bed. “Lucas we can’t.”

“I said I was going to tuck you in bed, not fuck…”

She was staring at my lips and traced them with her finger. “You have pretty lips.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh.” She reached and grabbed the side of my head and pulled me down inches from her lips. “If I wanted to fuck, you would right?”

“Tessa we
’re both fucked-up,” I began.

“So? You would right?”

“Not like this.” I kissed her head and stood up. “You and I need to talk about this sober…”

“
You’re such a pussy,” she laughed and flopped back on the bed giggling.

“You’re a damn tease still. Okay scoot
up; let me get you tucked in so I can go home a jerk off.”

She laughed, “Nope. I’m staying like this.”

I scooped her up and pulled the covers down and set her on the bed.  She sat up and tried to stand.

“Baby please just lay down and go to sleep.” I was having a hard time not
crawling in bed with her.

“I don’t want to sleep. And if I did I couldn’t in these things anyway.” She undid her jeans and pushed them down, and tried to step out of them. “Uh oh, this is a pain in the butt.”

She sat and fought with her pants until I couldn’t take it. “Listen pain in the ass. Sit still.”

She laughed and did as she was asked. I pulled her pants off. “While
you’re down there,” she giggled.

“You need to get laid Tessa?”

“That was a bit…crude.”

“You’re teasing a man who the last time he had sex with anyone other than his hand was Christmas day when I banged my wife in the ass because she hid the phone
she was talking to her lover on. I fucked her so he could hear. Now that Tessa,” I stopped and pulled my shirt off. “Is fucking crude. Now lift your arms.”

She sat stunned but she lifted her arms. I pulled her shirt over her head. “You have the best tits I’ve ever seen. That’s crude.” I pulled my shirt over her head and reached around her and undid her bra. “Pull your arms out Tessa because if I so much as graze a finger across your tits I am going to have to taste them.”

“Lucas…”

“Now scoot back on the pillow and lay down.” I dropped my pants and stepped out of them and climbed in next to her.

“Are we going to…”

“No Baby
, not tonight. Tomorrow we have a sober discussion about what we are going to do. Right now I am dying to hold you while you fall asleep.”

“I don’t sleep.”

“Why?”

She looked at me and swallowed hard. “Bad dreams.”

“Well I am an expert at these dreams. Remember high school Tessa? I got you through them then and I can do it again. But you’re going to let me kiss you now so that our first kiss in over twenty years is one of choice.”

I didn’t wait for her to respond I just slowly moved down to her lips and let mine rest on hers. It felt so damn good. I rubbed my lips across hers and her breathe hitched
. I wet my lips with my tongue.

“This is for us. You and me.”

I kissed her cheek and slowly moved to her mouth. There was no hesitation on her part. She met my kiss with the same soft pressure I was giving. I rubbed her lip with my tongue and she opened her mouth to me not just allowing but seeking more.

She tastes of champagne and Tessa. The forbidden fruit that I had forced myself not to desire for so many years. Our
tongues met and I slowly stroked mine against hers as she did the same to me. Softly, gently her tongue caressed mine.

When I finally pulled away
, needing a breath, she closed her eyes.

I rubbed her cheek, “You okay?”

She nodded yes.

I kissed her again and she kissed me back. This
time with more force. Her hand was on the back of my neck, pulling me closer and her tongue became hungrier. Almost a forced urgency.

“Baby slow okay. This has got to go…”