Love UnExpected (Love's Improbable Possibility) (25 page)

I don't think Spin was expecting that. Shit
, I wasn't expecting that. Spin was at a loss for words. And honestly, I was grateful. I would not have Rayna out here doing a showdown with another woman. I respected Spin and wouldn't even want that for her. I think Rayna wanted a moment to settle up with Britni. 

Spin bow
ed out gracefully and I asked Rayna with my eyes if it was cool that I speak with her. She gave me a soft nod and warm smile. I looked at Britni with pity.
She's about to get to get her ass handed to her.

I followed Spin around the bar and on the side of the house to a wooden bench. She stopped with her hands wrapped around her waist and rhythmically pats her feet. I
t was clear that she was in a defensive poise. I offered her a seat to which she declined. I then sat. 

“
Azmir, what's going on with you and this...young lady? This seems different,” she hissed.

I crease
d my brows and said, “Spin, I'm lost. Are you asking me for my dating status with Rayna Brimm?”

“Yes!”
she answered emphatically.

“I don't think that’s owed. Aren’
t you back with Dalvin?”

She looke
d affronted. “Yes and no. We’re still working out the kinks.” She appeared flushed.

“
Okay, but during our last conversation you told me that you were going back to him, ergo the termination of our arrangement.” She wasn't going to make me out to be a lothario. I didn’t owe her shit.

“
So, I guess what I'm asking here is will she be an issue for us if I want to continue with our arrangement?” she asked with overt sarcasm.

“
Indeed.”

“
Wow. That's really fucked up, Azmir,” she murmured, looking out into the distance.

“
Spin, you've always been good peoples—with or without sex. I don't want that to change, but right now I have my hands into something. And besides, I was really under the impression that you and Dalvin were back tight again. I don't want to play that in between role. Go and work that out with him or close that chapter so that you can move on with someone who deserves you,” I advised her genuinely. I really did like Spin, but our time had expired.

She stood there shell-shocked staring into midair. I could swear I s
aw her fighting back tears. I didn't understand where all of this emotion was coming from. Spin and I were never an item and have always been honest about the fact that we didn't want to be. Hell, even if I were single without Tara or Rayna, I seriously doubt if I'd go for Spin. She's too much of a public figure. She's at every party, award show, and fundraising event. She's dated heavily in the industry as well. I'm a low-key type of man and don't want to ever bargain that.

During our moment of silence at the memorial of our affair, h
er assistant runs over to her, “Lady Spin, we have to go! You're on soon and we have to mic you!”

“
Okay,” she said to the awkward looking fellow wearing oversized yellow framed glasses.

She g
ave me a glance seeming to want to say more. I nodded in concession and she walked off. 

On my way back to Rayna
, I decided to stop at the bar and refresh her drink. I hoped her pow-wow with ol’ girl wasn't too bad.

When I returned to our cocktail table
, I noticed Rayna wasn't there. I looked up and saw Rick. 

“
That Ms. Brimm is hot, bro! She's over there on the dance floor making us all swoon. Are you serious about her, Azmeer?” Rick asked in all sincerity.

“
Indeed,” I chortled. “Let me go swoon, too,” I said as I strode toward the music.

I walked up on Rayna who was nearly center stage dancing to Latin music. Her moves were smooth and acute. There were nearly
twenty people following the lead of an instructor, but she was getting special attention from him. The short guy was animated and loud. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Rayna who stayed focus on her feet looking over to him occasionally to take cues. Most of the women following on the dance floor were bare foot. But even they couldn't hold a candle to Ms. Brimm in five-inch stilettos. It didn't even seem as if she was trying very hard.

Raptly,
I watched them go from one song to another. At that point I was so intrigued I grabbed a seat to get comfortable. I noticed Britni staring and could've sworn she even pointed to me while talking to someone else. Then Rayna looked over at me and gave me a warm smile and wink. I thought the gesture was nice. I stayed and watched for a while. I was glad to see she was enjoying herself independent of me. It was clear that the instructor was enjoying her, too. I wasn't moving too far just in case I had to check his chin.

A few people came over to speak, including Rick. He introduced me to Brad, the actor, who has apparently signed on to star in the film Rick is asking me to help fund. He was taking toadying to a new level. Throughout all the chatting I kept Brimm in my peripheral. Eventually, she sashay
ed over to me slightly of breath, but exuding excitement. I was happy to see her roused and light hearted. This mourning period had been rough on her. I grabbed her by the waist, drawing her into my hip, kissed her on the head and introduced her to Brad. 

“It's a pleasure to meet you!”
she said spiritedly.

“I see you like to move!”
Brad said while emulating a two-step that was corny as hell.

“
I do! I was coming to see if Mr. Jacobs here will join me. I'd like to see his moves,” she said flirtatiously. I was flattered.

“
No...no...no. I don't dance. Besides you were looking so good out there, I can assure you the last thing you need is me stepping on your toes at every turn,” I replied.

She gave me a petulant pout. She was really in a great mood
and I was tired of sharing my time with her, I wanted to get her alone.

“
I think we should get ready to go,” I said gazing at her for her take as I had my arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“
Oh, sure,” she said softy with a soft smile. “Brad, it was great meeting you. I'm a huge fan,” she caressed my hand hanging from her shoulder as she said that. I don't know if I was over-thinking it, but that was her way of inviting me in while she was paying another man a compliment. I liked that. 

“
Why, thank you, Ms. Brimm. I appreciate that,” Brad said unperturbedly. He's used to this type of attention. 

Rayna
lifted her head to me for direction. I gave Brad some dap and we made our way to the front of the property where Ray was waiting. But before we could make it to the back doors of the house I could feel eyes burning the back of my head. I turned to see Spin and Britni gawking our every move. I just ignored them and kept it moving. That Britni chick seemed like trouble.

“
Thanks for dressing me up and dragging me out of the house, Azmeer!” she jeered, mocking Rick.
Cute.

“
Are you that wealthy that you could help fund a movie with star power like Brad?” Rayna asked intrigued.

I squinted my e
yes surprised by the question. “So they say.”

We both laughed.

I'm not accustomed to speaking about my money with anyone because it's so complicated. I've done extremely well legitimately, it's noted by the IRS. But then I have an equally impressive stash of dirty money that's
under the table
. I will keep my dark life away from Rayna for as long as I possibly can. That life is ending and the new one has been promising and rewarding thus far. She is a part of that new life.
Out with old and in with the new.

As soon as we were in the car, Rayna scooted over and snuggled underneath me.

“Tired?” I asked.

“
It's been a long day.” She lifted her head to meet my eyes and clarified, “And it was eventful and exciting thanks to you, Mr. Jacobs.” She searched my eyes.

I nodded in acknowledgement.

The ride home was long but smooth. Rayna and I talked some and rode in silence toward the end of our journey. I thought about my exchange with Spin. She was flummoxing. I attempted to be as clear and honest with her as possible, but the look in her eyes was weird for me. She seemed hurt and I didn't understand why.

Rayna

It was a Tuesday evening and time for me to clock out of work. I couldn't help but to feel blue. While Azna is a fury ball of joy, his nuzzling wasn't enough to distract me from my pining of Azmir. I missed him and it had only been twenty-four hours. Normally, I'd be consumed with Michelle and Erin so it wouldn't be much of an issue.

It saddened me to realize that I couldn't even call to share my solitary feelings with Michelle. I suddenly realized that since our return from the East Coast
, I'd been with Azmir nearly every day—and I couldn't but guess it had been by his design. Now that he had been half way across the world, I was lonely.

Oh, we
ll. I'll get through this day-by-day. I always do.

When I got in the bed I was alerted of an email.
It's Azmir!

Good evening. You should be in bed by now. Shit - you had better be in bed by now. I'm all too sorry that I'm not there with you. How's our pet child?

Holy shit!
He referred to the dog as our pet child!
We share something?
My belly filled with butterflies.
My goodness! Does this man really have this much of an effect on me?

As predicted I am in bed. A very lonely bed. A very cold, lonely bed. Azna is here relaxing with me but he's not 6 feet 4 inches of
unadulterated pleasure. However, he's my only connection to you so I'll deal. What are you up to?

Good. I'm taking a bathroom break from a meeting. My body is still on PST. In other words: I gotta love jones. Missing you. Gotta go...

And with that, he was off.

The following day was easier but still dry. I had dance class that evening. I gave my number to Tamia's tune a test drive and everyone went wild. Jimmy was so elated that he announced
that he was planning a showcase for our choreographed numbers in a couple of months. He said that he had planned on making the announcement in a few weeks or so but seeing how much work people were putting into them his excitement wouldn't allow him to hold onto it. I was immediately thrilled at the thought of Azmir being there to see me perform the song that we'd christened there in my makeshift dance room at my place. Then reality slapped me in the face that he was out of town and that it would be days before I see him. 

As I reflected on
A Purpose Driven Life
I had a revelation.
Why am I holding back on the one person who is asking me to love them? Why do I think that I have to mourn alone and be alone on everything? Would it be a foreign thought to believe that Azmir’s presence in my life is a gift? That his love is in my destiny?
I wanted to shake this shell that towered around me, that I somehow convinced myself was for my protection.
Could I just lift it a little to receive love as God intended?
 I knew that he didn’t exactly have in mind for love to be this unofficial, but I felt like I needed to start somewhere and with the only person willing to take a risk with me.

At home while letting Azna out to do his thing
out in my tiny yard it hit me:
I'm moving into Azmir's place!
It was that quick, that spurred, that simple. Why succumb to long days and lonely nights when a wonderful man—and one of Azmir's status—is practically begging me to join lives with him?

What's the
worst that can happen?

If it doesn't work out, I knew I’d always have a home to return to. In the back of my mind I had haunted reservations of whether or not I was doing this to avoid loneliness
, but I immediately heard Michelle's voice admonishing me, “
You alone are worthy of love!
”

Once Azna was done handling his business
, I scooped him up and said, “We’re moving, dude! Let’s pack!”

It was late that
Wednesday, about ten thirty at night when I hauled a duffle bag and Azna's crate and other belongings into Azmir's high-rise.

I had a car full of my immediate needs
, but took up what I could bare. While I schlepped my things from the elevator, down the corridor and into the apartment door butterflies started to evade my belly. When I pulled out
the
golden key, turned the knob and pushed the door in, nervousness overcame me.

The lights were off except for the
ceiling bulbs aligned down the corridor and overhead of the stove in the kitchen. I turned on the foyer light and let Azna out of his cage.

“This is home...for now. Let’s get comfy.”

About an hour later, after showering, I went about exploring. I started with Azmir’s home office. I flipped the switch and watched the room illume. His work room was fairly large and was centered by a huge wooden desk. I sauntered in, observing the artwork on the long walls and countless books on the shelves. Azna followed behind me exploring the floors. I sat in the oversized desk chair and exhaled. I wondered how much work did Azmir actually do here. I touched the mouse and the computer lit up. It must have been in sleep mode. The last thing he had up was his itinerary for the business trip he was on.

“Okay,
well he wasn't dishonest,” I said audibly. Reservations were made for him alone. “No mistress
?
” I laughed to myself.

“
You’re technically not his girlfriend!”
was the voice of pessimism that had always haunted my subconscious. Not today. Not anymore. I was determined to step out of my shell.

Another page up
on his computer was a spreadsheet that displayed quarterly earnings for one of his businesses. My inquisition traveled to the desk calendar and I saw he did engage it as I observed how he had things scribbled on it. There were events, meetings and other cryptic entries.

But what specifically caught my attention were the “RayB's” recorded on various days throughout the month. I’m sure
it was the variation of the letters in my names that captured my attention. I went back in previous months and saw them noted on several dates. The earliest I saw it marked was on his birthday.

Hmmmmmmm...

Shit!
Does he make record of our sexual encounters?
As I sat there reflecting on the dates I figured that was the only thing it could have been.

What the hell? Should I feel special or weirded out?

Are there other names?
None of the other recordings resembled names.

Hmmmmmmmmm...
I then figured I should leave the office before I found myself doing more snooping. I made my way back to the master suite.

Ahhhhhh
...in the plush, supersized, well firm and inviting bed of Azmir. The beddings were freshly laundered because I couldn't smell
him
. I didn't like that, but boy, was the comfort of this bed supreme! I twisted and turned playfully between the sheets. I felt like a kid in a hotel room for the first time. My childlike behavior was interrupted by a trill from my phone alerting me of an e-mail. I knew right away it was Azmir.

All tucked in
?
he asked.

Oh, yeah! And very well, thank you
!
I decided quickly to not giving away my secret.

That's good. How was your day?
 

It was mediocre until recently!
Rocking! Yours
?
I couldn’t help it, I was exclamation point happy.

We're making progress so I won't complain. Have you any plans for the weekend?

Yup! I plan on staying in
allllllll
weekend long
!
I was enjoying my private joke at his expense.

Well, hopefully I can get a moment of your time. I
’ve been hoping to extinguish you of your hermit ways. I see I have more work to do. I don't mind. Hit you up later...they're waiting on me to start a luncheon meeting.

Ughhhhh!

Th
e two-minute conversation thing was killing me. After taking a few moments to huff about being separated from this man—
my man?
I remembered where I was, which was snuggled in
his
sheets, in
his
bed, in
his
bedroom, of
his
home. And that would have to do. I had two more days of missing him. After a few more thoughts I dosed off. 

The next day
, around mid-morning I got a page from Sharon up front saying I had a delivery.

“I'll be up in a few minutes. I'm finishing up on Mr. Bronson.”

“No problem, Ms. Brimm,” Sharon agreed.

A few minutes later
, I was up at the front desk and the huge bouquet of fruit caught my eyes immediately. I saw that Sharon was speaking with people so I remained quiet as I retrieved the small envelope attached to the deliciously decorated edible arrangement and opened it.

I hope these are just as juicy and sweet as you are. Missing you terribly.

Clear your weekend itinerary. Now!

Forever on the Chase,

A.D. Jacobs

Did he really?
All the way from Europe!
Well, Rayna, he DOES have several assistants that he could have easily e-mailed the request to
. But it was such a sweet gesture.

“Well, well,
well! The awkward moment when I see we're interrupting a private moment.” 

I looked up to see where that outburst
had come from. My irises landed on a handsome, light skinned and well groomed man in an elegant three-piece suit.
But who is he and where does he get the nerve to intrude on my privacy?
He stood next to two other men that I assumed were with him.

My eyes darted to Sharon. But before she
could speak he said, “Thompson…Brian Thompson of Thompson's Justice Law firm. It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Ms. Brimm. Judging by the arrangement, it must have been something said in the card that caused the glow. Care to share?”

Thompson wore a cunning smirk, one that didn’t register as trustworthy.
I didn't know if he was being charming or condescending and trying to embarrass me. Either way, I wasn't interested.

“Sharon, I wasn't aware that Mr. Thompson was visiting today. How did that get past me?”

“I'm sorry, Ms. Brimm, we've been so busy around here. It must have been an oversight on my part,” Sharon admitted apologetically. 

I wasn't totally convinced that it was her fault. She was right. We’d been swamped for weeks.

“Have these taken into the kitchen for everyone to share and you can start collecting lunch orders from the staff. It's on me again today. Okay?” I flashed a warm smile. I liked Sharon and belittling staff is a no-no in my book. 

Purposely putting Mr. Thompson on hold for a minute, I was now prepared to
address him, “Now, Mr. Thompson, how can we be of service to you...” I conspicuously peeked behind him, “...and your team today?”

That took the spark out of his cocky ass eyes.

“Mr. Smith recommended that I begin my file merging of the firm at the Long Beach branch,” Mr. Thompson informed more reserved—still with much confidence, but with less of a smug look on his face.

“I'm sorry
, but why is it necessary for you to make visits?” I quizzed. The way he gazed into my eyes alarmed me. Was he attracted to me?
Oh, no!

“Well, my firm’s practice is to have all
of our clients’ records on file. Initially we make copies of all of your files here. Then we add a program to your software that will automatically merge new and updated files from here on out.”

“Well, fine.” I tried to maintain my dignified persona
, though his presence further annoyed me by the minute. “Sharon, please grant the Thompson firm whatever access they need.” I turned to address her directly, I didn’t like staring into his face for too long. “Also, out of hospitality, make sure they know where the restroom and break rooms are.”

“Yes, Ms. Brimm. Natalie should be here any moment to escort them back.” Just as she ended her sentence Natalie, a studying therapist
, who had been interning with us appeared, introduced herself and led the gentlemen back towards the offices.

I turned to Sharon who was eager to speak. Her eyes were stories high and miles apart. “Ms. Brimm, I am really sorry. I should have gone over your schedule with you last evening before closing.” I put my hands in the air asking her to halt.

“I meant what I said.” I sighed. “It was an oversight on both our parts. Things have been really busy around here. You're extremely efficient at keeping me on task. No harm. No foul. Are we almost caught up with our backed logged appointments?” I asked.

“
I do believe yesterday was the last long day. Things should most definitely be at a slower rate starting Monday.” As she spoke, Sharon clicked and navigated the mouse of her desktop glancing over the upcoming schedule I presumed.