Love UnExpected (Love's Improbable Possibility) (11 page)

“Ahhhh…right there. Now this is what you will do intermittently. But if you want to drive me wild…” I started to withdraw my finger from her busy mouth, trying not to give in to the wonderful hand job she was giving me. I stopped pulling my finger when only the tip was left inside. “…you scissor softly on the head for warming appraisals. But that’s only at the beginning when you’re warming me up. Okay?”

She nod
ded her head with my finger still in her mouth, I slowly pulled back and she scraped her teeth gently over it.
Fuck! This is going to be good!

Without instruction, Rayna moan
ed and quickly lunged forward. She flickered her tongue on the head with athirst, causing my belly to lurch. She started off with the soft scissoring of my head.
Goddamn
. In little time, she took me into her warm, soft and well secreted mouth, sucking me—working her way to the base temporarily removing her hands. She wanted to taste me, all of me. I gave her the time to acquaint herself and accurately use the soft head chomp method skillfully. She looked up to me for evaluation and through slanted eyes I gave her a nod. She did it several times before I released a throaty groan.

Rayna
started to work her hands back in gripping me firmly, gulping me with need. I watched, drenched in eroticism as she hollowed her cheeks sucking me in. Heat spiked my groin and I didn’t know how long I’d be able to hold out. I watched her suck me so deep into the recesses of her throat and moan in satiation. She felt so good, sending warm sensation all throughout my body emanating from the core of me. Rayna employed the small scraping as she pushed me in and out and back in again. I was about to lose my fucking mind as I felt the convex of my cock down her throat and her handle on me. Each time her tongue rolled over my head my abs jumped. I started to lose my balance but caught myself. As her pace in strokes increased so did my jolting.

“Look at me
,” I demanded and when those round brown eyes shot up to me I could tell she was just as entranced as I was. I felt my knees buckling and my balls trembling, I knew I was about blast the fuck off. I couldn’t do it in her mouth, she wasn’t ready for that yet. I could never disrespect my lady by shooting in her mouth without notice. I’d lost myself entirely in the short time we’d been indulging but I had fucking sense.

“Ray, baby
, I’m about to come. When I tilt your head I want you to pull back so that I don’t come in your mouth.”

Rayna worked harder
in earnest anticipation. She pushed and pulled with hunger and randy. Her breasts clapped in the air and her full mouth bulged from my erection. My orgasm tipped and that was my indicator. I tilted the top of her head but she wouldn’t budge. Tingles zipped up my chest and down to my feet and my stomach jerked. With both hands I tugged at her head. But she wouldn’t stop. She shook her head no and started moaning and I felt the humming vibrations as my head hit her chords.

“Fuck, Rayna!” I bit out as I pumped into her head and m
ine spun off its axis. Rayna enthusiastically vacuumed every seed that shot from me. I nearly lost my mind.
Shit!
  

When I was done and
just before my breathing slowed, I lifted her from her knees into my chest and she straddled me as I kissed her wildly.

“Damn! That was so fucking good
.” She giggled as she snuggled into my neck, somewhat bashful. “You did very well, had me moaning like a bitch. You must have some experience.”

I don’t know what made me open that can of worms. I didn’t want the answer—didn’t need
that
truth.

She shook her head in my neck.

“None?”

“None that involved sucking on a penis and certainly nothing that resulted in an orgasm. I liked that. I wanna do it again.”

She’s never given head?
Even better for me. I couldn’t envision someone else having her mouth.

“Good. Let’s keep it that way
—all of it,” I muttered.

“Now I wanna scream like a bitch
,” she whispered in my ear, it garnered a hefty chuckle as I gripped her ass tighter walking her into the bedroom. She had me going. 

When we reached the bed
, she rearranged the pillows as she does when she’s ready to mount. After, she guided me to lie down. There was something new in her disposition, she wanted to take lead. I didn’t mind, in fact I liked it.

She then went to her iPhone, started tapping on it and then inserted it in the dock on the nightstand. She put on a track that was seductive at best. I didn’t know the song but it sounded a lot like
Jay’s girl continuously singing, “
Yes!
” I figured it was a female thing, but it definitely contributed to the mood.

She backed up to be sure to provide me full view of her slowly
removing her panties to each beat of the song. Not that I needed any more of a reason, but I was aroused like a motherfucker. My tongue tingled at the sight of her exposed breasts and the hair in her pelvic area. I wanted to taste it so badly. She teasingly did a little belly dancing number while taking off her g-string. I was ready as hell as she slowly climbed aboard and I noticed her eyes softening.

“Let me make love to you, baby.”

“You’ve never made love to me before?” My eyebrows rose in anticipation of her answer.

“Have you to me?” She didn’t pose it as if she was looking for an answer as she panted deliciously in my face.

She pressed her lips up to mine and inserted her tongue shortly after. She started grinding methodically on my lap. I stopped, abruptly halted in my lecherous state.

“Damn! I don’t have a rubber.”

Her heavy eyes shot up to mine, piercing me. There was an abbreviated pause before she finally spoke.

“It’s okay. I need you so badly right now
,” she whispered, desperate and ready to go.

Rayna was always more bold and unpredictable when she was in heat. But I didn’t want to take advantage of her. I knew the game and why the rules were so important. I didn’t want to complicate shit between us.

“Are you sure? There are several ways I can pleasure you outside of penetration.” I was giving her an out. As much as I prayed she wouldn’t take it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if things went awry and she expressed regret.

“Azmir, I don’t want anything between us tonight. I want you to feel all of me. Is that okay?”

“What’s so different about tonight and why does it have to be just for tonight?”

“Shhhhhhh…” she said while using her hand to guide me inside of her.

As she enclosed around me, she gave a sharp intake while her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I knew that very moment that if Rayna were to become pregnant I’d take care of her for life. What I would do for my child went without saying. No matter what, I’d care for her, do anything to keep her within arm’s length of me.

She took her time fitting me in
, making sure she was comfortable. I thought I was going to explode prematurely when she eyed me with intensity as she glided down.
Fuck! I’m never going in sheathed again.
The sensations I felt from her warm walls sliding down my cock could start a war.

Before long she slowly whispered in my ear with labored breathing, “You feel so good. It’s like my insides are carved for you.”

Her pace was moderate. She was trying to take me all in as she stared me square in my eyes. She was really making love to me. As she grinded her breasts danced. Her taut nipples bouncing in my face had me out of control. She would slow down and then speed up. The inconsistency delayed my explosion. 

I could feel her tightening and relaxing her internal muscles. I grabbed her ass.
Damn!
She felt incredible.

“I don’t wanna be with anyone else.
This…all of this...is all yours
.” She exploded all over me, melting onto me. Her pussy constricting deliciously over my stick.  

The thought of what I was in…what I was feeling being all mine made me lose control. I tried to hold back as much as I could but between what she was putting on me, her words and her sensual tone, I was in bad shape.

“
Oooo!
You’re scratching…my…asssssssss. Go ahead. It’s…alright. Let it…go. Don’t…worry about me…baby. Let….it…go!
” she sputtered as her soft breasts clapped my face.

And with that
, I had no choice but to let it blow.

Rayna

Life began to move so fast after my birthday excursion. One debacle I was faced with just two weeks after our return was the recurrence of Michelle’s cancer. It happened
so
all of a sudden. She was in and out of the hospital and it was all consuming.

I’
d practically moved into her place, I had to in order to help out with Erin. She needed to be taken to all her appointments including the doctor, acting classes, and soccer. In addition, I made sure Michelle was transported back and forth to chemo and radiation therapy as well as doctor visits. She had others helping out when I couldn’t, but I assumed the responsibility of primary care-giver.

The responsibility grew so great that
, with the permission of the higher ups of the firm, I brought in consultants to take appointments for me when I needed to be with Michelle. The only reason that idea was entertained was because it was Michelle who was being cared for; the niece of one of the partners. If such wasn’t the case, I’d be in a heap of trouble. I could tell they preferred per diem consultants rather than stretching the therapists on staff.

One Saturday Azmir and I decided to hit The Grove. I had a few things to pick up
and so did he. I’d been putting going to the mall off with my crazy schedule, but this particular day Michelle insisted that I get out and be with Azmir. It was a beautiful day in sunny California so I was happy that I obliged. After doing a little shopping, we decided to have a bite to eat. We spent our entire lunch debating the top five best rappers. We agreed on the best but couldn’t sync the order of our lists otherwise. The conversation spilled over into our post-lunch stroll and found its way into a store or two.

“You think LL’s one of the best because of his ability to stay relevant after over
twenty years in the game, but I’m basing my rankings on lyrical style and content,” Azmir argued.

“And you allow being a Brooklyn-native
to factor into your ranking. You cannot have three Brooklynites in your top five, MirMir!” I pleaded.

Not too long after those words left my lips I heard, “MirMir? Hmmmmm…based upon that pet name, I can tell you’re fucking her and
—she likes it. You must be into it as well because you do have her in the mall…a place where it can be assumed that you’ve spent money on her. It must be the newness of the pussy because you
are
carrying bags, which means she’s got you spending a little cash. Oh, and judging by the names on the bags, you’re not making it rain on this hoe.” That was followed by a chorus of laughter.

I turned
abruptly to find this beautiful light complexioned woman with long silky hair parted down the middle. She wore bold orange-red lipstick and donned a cute, off-white maternity blouse that exposed her cleavage, white capri pants and white stiletto slide-in heels. She had handsomely-sized diamond stud earrings, a beautifully decorated diamond brooch above her left breast and wrists full of shopping bags. I could tell she was a diva. My question was how recent a lover was she of Azmir’s with her belly bulging the way it was.

My heart raced, mouth dried and eyes immediately flew to Azmir to find his reaction to this bitch calling me a hoe. Azmir didn’t appear ruffle
d at all. His demeanor was calm and very well anchored,
per usual
. Azmir always possessed the ability to remain placid during less than favorable events. I guess it was a characteristic required for a man of his caliber. He took a cursory glance at her and turned his head back to what he was doing as if her being the donor of such callous jargon didn’t surprise him at all.

“Tara…” he said extremely deadpan as he placed the item he was eyeing back on the shelf.

I could tell he was very familiar with her, but I was still waiting to judge where he was going with this so that I could decide on my follow up. Secretly I was panicking. This couldn’t be happening to me. Not now. Not after I allowed my feelings to run wild for this man. The suspense kept me on edge. 

“Is that how you introduce yourself to the
next
woman?” Azmir continued, still browsing the shelf. “And are you expecting me to top that indecorous rant with an insult? Because if you are, I’ll pass.”

I think I saw a hint of
a mocking grin on his perfectly sculpted face. Even in the midst of my anger I couldn’t deny Azmir’s impeccable features.

Tara wore this addling expression and I could tell she was ready for a verbal war
, but wasn’t provided a cue.

And that’s when I came in
feigning a puzzled look on my face, “
Tara…Tara?
Ohhh, Tara!” as if to say I finally realized who she was from a previous conversation with Azmir about her.

I wanted her to know that I wasn’t a garden variety chick on his belt
, but that we had informative conversations about our previous relationships. Azmir mentioned the “
next
” woman. He’s not the one to consider just
any
woman his, which led me to believe she was his most recent ex—an ex he’d never informed me of being pregnant, but that was neither here nor there. I had to verbally jab this bitch right back for her unprovoked and cruel outburst.

After a thorough on
ce-over of her—
complete from head to toe—
I noticed that Tara was beautiful and well suited. That intensified the sting. Fuck that—I felt a burning sensation course through my chest. Immediately, I felt out of place, as if this moment of her and Azmir sharing air somehow made me the intruder. I don’t know the last time I’d felt a twinge of jealousy. And I was damned pissed that I felt it here with her.

I followed with, “You’re right, sweetheart
. She
is
narcissistic,” with a giggle in my tone. I then took his hand and strode off. She and her two cheerleaders looked like asses! I could tell she was caught completely off guard.

After we were a few feet away she screamed, “Bitch
, you think you got him!”

No response was necessary on my behalf. Had she not been pregnant that story would have had a different ending. My violent tendencies still laid dormant waiting for the right opportunity.
But for now I had to collect myself. I felt the walls of self-preservation elevating all around me.
Survival
.

As we waited for the valet
to bring the car around, I seethed in silence. Azmir had a whole other world that I wasn’t privy to until now. Pain seared through my chest and it took every bit of strength that I could muster not to break down.

He broke the ice once in the car. “Okay
. Go.” 

Azmir didn’t even look me in the face, he just braced himself
, cowardly thinking I would discuss this casually in his car after having discovered a pregnant ex.
Is he out of his mind?

“I’m sorr
y…?” I asked with an even breath, baffled by his direction.

“I know you have questions about her. I’m prepared to answer them
,” he clarified in his CEO mien.

This doesn’t work that way, Jacobs!

“I just don’t like surprises or feeling like the third party out…I have no clue as to what just took place in there and I’m not comfortable with that.” I tried being cognizant of my tone, I didn’t want to bring too much emotion to the situation. I was in control!

“You handled yourself well in there
,” he tried to assure me. “Tara
is
egotistical. It’s funny how you hit that one right on the head,” Azmir continued with a chuckle.

When I didn’t join in he
relented, “Tara is an ex. We were together for quite some time and the breakup came as a surprise to her, although a blind man could see the shit coming.”

He
glanced my way while driving and I kept my eyes glued to the pavement ahead so that he knew I was not satisfied with his answer.

“I’ve talked a little about her to you, not every detail because she doesn’t matter, not to mention the complexity of the situation. I have an extensive and extremely sensitive business relationship with her father. It’s a fragile relationship but as you can see, we’re both aware of the termination
,” he included.

I choked down my pending tears. He was skirting around the big issue.

“What about her belly? Make me
aware
of the details concerning that, Azmir,” I demanded still facing forward.

“That’s not my baby, sweetheart.” His voice very firm, just above a whisper.

I wasn’t impressed, neither was I convinced. My heart twisted in pain and my throat restricted preventing the bile rising from my belly. I felt sick.

“Oh, yeah? And are you
both
aware of that?” I could no longer conceal my anger.

Needless to say we parted on bad terms that day.

~~~~~~~~~~

I
didn’t see Azmir for weeks after that. He called and left messages, but I never returned them. We did however correspond a little through text when I asked him for some time. I tried to explain that the pregnancy was a deal breaker. I didn’t think I could wait for the birth of the baby to learn of its paternity.

The way I viewed it was she had a few months to go and in that time my feelings for this man could have increased tenfold.  I was not so desperate that I would take on a man with a child, a child that was conceived just months before we became involved no less. And my brief encounter with that Tara chick told me that she would play the hell out of
the baby momma role. I could see myself choking the hell out of her ass and catching troubles that I didn’t need in my life.

My heart wouldn’t endure the aftermath of a breakup if he were
to decide to be with her because she was, in fact, carrying his child. Where would that leave me? No. Right now I would manage the sting of disappointment. I was undoubtedly in pain. The disappointment played similar to the countless encounters with all the men who I took on over the years. Azmir was good and damn intriguing, but he wasn’t worth me taking on baggage of that nature. It was difficult to stay away. Difficult to survive the lonely nights, but I managed. Because that’s how I mastered getting from day to day in my life; I managed. Through pain, betrayal and mistrust. I managed.
Alone
.

Within that time I decided to begin my Azmir detoxification.

Nearly three weeks later, I went out to a trendy nightspot with Michelle and her girls. Michelle had started to even out with her sickness and demanded to get out to feel some level of normalcy. Britni was always going to the latest and hottest clubs in L.A. and this one was on her list. The energy was crazy inside and the music was exhilarating. I had a ball on the dance floor and had to keep reminding myself to take it easy because I had on a very short off the shoulder, taupe, sequenced dress. It fit like a large T-shirt. I loved it, but quickly learned it truly wasn’t the best thing to dance in.

One of the things I loved most about L.A. was how at the trendier clubs
, there was a great mixture of people blending ethnicities and ages. I threw my ass from one side of the room to the next. I was wild and thrilled to be out again. I made dance floor friends with a gay guy. He had olive skin with groomed facial hairs and a neon pink Mohawk. We jammed to the music like nobody’s business. There were times he emulated me and I him out of pure fun. It was a blast, so fun that I needed a break after a while.

As I walked off the dance floor
, I threaded over to our table where Michelle and Britni were sitting to get money from my purse. The table was close to the dance floor so that we had a good vantage point and quick access to our things. We agreed that someone would be at the table at all times to watch our things and we alternated.

April
so happened to just walk up as well and yelled over the music, “Damn, I’m thirsty as fuck! All this dancing has my ass sweating like a fucking farmer. I’m going to the bar to get a soda or something. Does anybody want something?” That damn April had the filthiest mouth of the bunch.

“Hold up. I’ll go with you. I want another drink
,” I shouted.

We
made our way over to the bar together and ordered our drinks. April’s drink came first but mine, which was a peach martini, seemed to have been delayed. After waiting a few minutes, I grew impatient not understanding what the hell took the bartender so long. I used the metal pole at the bottom of the bar as a stepping stool to look over onto the other side, hoping to see what the dilemma was. I could tell she was held up doing something back there. My irritation forced me to fix my attention back there to learn of the problem that had been delaying her. As I was doing this, April tapped me on the arm and shouted something inaudible over the music, but I couldn’t hear her. I got down off the bar and asked her to repeat herself. I noticed her face had brightened and sea blue irises were glued to something fascinating across the room. I leaned in closer to her.

“Oh, my god! Your boo is here, girl. Look!” she squealed animatedly.