Love UnExpected (Love's Improbable Possibility) (28 page)

I reached down and kissed her on the lips,
“Because you are more. You were far more before I came along. And I can only wish that caring for you the way that I intend to will not give you the impression that I endeavor to reduce your
more
rather than be a part of your more. I just want you to let me take care of you, baby. Nothing more. Nothing less,” I said looking into her inquisitive eyes. “Now let's go. I have a few calls to make before we have dessert.” I closed our shower pow-wow.

“
Oh, shoot! I forgot all about my pound cake! We never got around to dessert!” she announced lost in that thought.

“
Yeah, I hope you didn't think I'd forgotten. It's a favorite, so I'm looking forward to it and you resting with me in
our
bed.” I reached over her to turn off the water.

“
Azmir,” she called leaving out the eye contact.

“Yeah, baby.”

“
Have you ever been with her in your...I mean,
our
bed?” she asked timidly.

I laughed and heartily at that as I shut the water off and proceed
ed out of the shower.

“
What's so funny?” she demanded as she followed me out of the shower.

I grabbed a towel and held it open for her. As she t
urned, I wrapped it around her and buried her in my arms, “Tara has never been here and neither has any other woman. In fact, you were my only visitor. And now you're a resident.” I kissed her softly on the forehead.

“Wait.
Only
visitor?” Rayna asked still haunted by confusion. Admittedly, I could understand.

“
I told you I bought this place last year. But I didn’t mention I'd only moved in after meeting you.” I stopped drying myself off, suspended in thought. “That's when I became inspired to begin making major changes in my life. All of the pieces had been there for months. But you were the final element.” I was surprised by my own revelation.

She gave me a shy smile. That faded suddenly and was eclipsed by doubt.
Rayna was always inside her own head. I made it my mission to get in there, too. I just had to be patient.

“
What's wrong?”

“
It just dawned on me that we haven't discussed logistics. How will things get paid for? What am I responsible for?” Her eyes searched the floor as she chewed on her bottom lip in deep thought. Raising her gaze to me she continued, “I've never lived with a man before. What roles and tasks will we take on to maintain this place? It's pretty big. I'm sure it takes lots of time to clean.” She looked flushed.

“
Hmmm... Well, I don’t have a mortgage so there’s no divvying up that expense.”

“
No? You don't have a mortgage?” she whispered forcefully in stark shock as she stood frozen gripping her towel.

I narrowed my eyes, not accustomed to talking money with anyone. I must remember she has no idea of my financ
ial portfolio. I have to get used to this and work her in slowly but surely.

“
Rayna, I don’t believe I’ve ever carried a mortgage. I pay for homes in cash...unless my accountant advises otherwise.”

She
appeared overwhelmed, she hadn't even dried off. I took her towel from around her and committed to drying her.

“
Okay, that settles the mortgage. As far as the utilities, my accountant has that worked out as well. I only see those types of bills when I request them from her to check and balance my books. That's taken care of.” When I was done drying her, I grabbed her hand to walked over to the vanity. “As far as cleaning, I have a woman—sometimes two—come and clean daily. They’re taken care of as well. And you know Boyd is here five days a week. There are several weekend availabilities in his contract to be negotiated as needed. Since we’ve been dating I’ve been out with you most weekends so I haven't requested additional time.”

Rayna clasped onto her towel expressing how uncomfortable she had become suddenly. I didn't think this was anything to draw up over.

“What is it now, Ms. Brimm?” I evened my tone.

She looked every which
way except for at me and said, “I keep forgetting you have money. Azmir, that's a lot to take on for someone who has always been so financially independent. Nothing's for free. Right?” Her eyes rose to mine filled with so much consternation that my chest twisted for her.

“
Listen, I don’t want anything from you but this.” I said pointing to her heart. “If it makes you feel more secure and comfortable, hold onto your house for a little bit...though I don't think you'll be needing it again. Unless you want to get rid of this place and we move in yours,” I offered hoping like hell she wouldn't entertain the idea.

“
I like the idea of holding on to my place...just until I find my footing here,” she tried to reassure me before turning to brush her teeth. I followed suit and started reaching for my toothbrush.

“
Whatever will make you happy, Ms. Brimm. I'll grab some cake and then tuck you in before I get some work done.”

We  found our way back into the master bedroom where she stepped in
to the closet and put on an off-white silk slip that smoothly fell from her shoulders down to her thighs.
Brimm's body is the truth
. I tossed on a T-shirt, basketball shorts and socks. When I grabbed my Blackberry I saw that I had a missed call and message from “Yaz”. I listened to the message after cutting a large slice of cake and before meeting up with Rayna in bed.

“Why the sudden long face?”
she inquired.

Damn. Is my face really reflecting my processes?

“
Nothing really. My mother wants to meet. Not sure if I'm feeling that though.”

“Why not?”

I lie down next to her, but on top of the comforter that she's underneath and reached over to her side of the bed to feed her some of the buttery pound cake she baked from scratch. I was impressed.

“So, are we claiming sides now?”
I teased.

“
This is the side I've always wounded up on, so it seems natural.” With a mouthful, she pouted in jest. It was rather sexy.

“
Stop smiling at me like that, Mr. Jacobs! It's distracting in more ways than one. Don't forget you’ve been away for nearly a week.” She swallowed her cake. “Plus, I want to know why wouldn’t you be interested in seeing your mother whom you haven’t seen in almost twenty years.” She sat up straight in the bed with her back resting on her pillows against the headboard. She looked down to me as I lay underneath her demolishing the cake.

“I don't know
,” I murmured losing the giddiness. “I'm not in the head space to open up a can of worms. I’ve been undergoing enough changes as is.”

“
That’s very Freudian of you, but I’m sure this long awaited resolve is just as important as adjusting to me being here. You deserve answers. You were abandoned,” she spoke very full of compassion. With her eyes locked to her lap she added, “I could only wish my father had provided answers as to why he abandoned us before his passing.”

Shit.
“Baby, I'm sorry. I have no desire to make you reflect back to dark days on my account.”

She interrupted with, “
No...no. Not at all. It's just a fact. If you have the opportunity to gain a resolve, go for it. You're owed that, Azmir. The little boy in you needs it.”

I
t had been a while since I’d seen Rayna so strong and therapeutic. It was refreshing to say the least.

“
I've been told that every broken adult that has experienced childhood trauma carries the child they used to be in them until they address their demons. I could only wish I had that opportunity,” she chuckled ruefully, gazing off into the distance.

“What's so funny?”
I asked.

“
I can't believe I've said that. Just months ago I wouldn’t have cared an ounce about my childhood, but since...” her voice trailed off. There was a brief pause. “...since losing Michelle and now gaining you. It makes me want to love better...love you better, now that I have someone new in my corner again. And love me better so that I can be better at loving others,” she spoke introspectively, barely looking at me.

“I'll go if you come with me.” Wasn’t
sure where that came from but it felt right.

Her eyes widened and her mouth collapsed,
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to interfere, Azmir.”

“
You wouldn't be interfering, just supporting me. I don’t exactly have anyone else in my corner for this type of support either.”  She searched my eyes speechless. “We'll go to New York for a couple of days and you’ll get a chance to meet my Earth.” 

Her eyes danced arou
nd as she considered my words, “I’d be honored.” Her gaze was intense.

Her agreeing was so “un-Rayna”
. It was so unusual for her to not hesitate and to go with the natural flow of things. It was honestly arousing. Shit, everything Rayna did aroused me. I reached up to her flawless face to bring it down to mine before engulfing my tongue and emotions in to an impassioned kiss. She must have felt it, too, because not before long she started to tug at my T-shirt.

In no time
, we'd worked our clothes off and I laid on top of Ms. Brimm and made good ol’ fashioned love to her missionary style. It felt appropriate and was clearly something she wanted as she pulled me onto of her. Watching her release during her orgasm was so enlivening that it set mine off as well.

I wanted this woman more than I wanted anything in my life before her. I had hope
d she was willing to be mine.

Rayna

It was a crappy Tuesday morning
—
a nine thirty in the morning and the only two whirlpools that our location owned were malfunctioning
type of crappy Tuesday morning. I was standing in the whirlpool with water to my calf muscles surveying the drainage flow, trying to figure out where exactly the problem was. The manufacturing company wouldn't be able to send out a serviceman until the following day. Much of my frustration came from the fact that they'd just been out to repair them the week before.

Wendy, our new PT Assistant
, was pacing before me, outside of the pool with the manufacturing company on the phone. I was beyond livid.

“
Tell him they must send a different service person out—this time a competent one! There is no way that we have the latest model pool, we’ve only been in operation for what...
10 months,
and we’ve already had two interruptions in service? And why must we wait until tomorrow? Does he not realize we are a medical business that rely heavily on this machinery? This is unacceptable!” I howled in my conniption.

Wendy repeated my rants word for word. I knew I was wasting my breath. Service wouldn’t be available for another day and I had to deal with it. I had been so wound up over the past
week or so and this ordeal didn’t help. With my miniature flashlight, I searched the pool reeling of disgust from my pantyhose being wet and trying to prevent water from splashing onto my midi dress. 

Sharon came
into the room and as soon as I saw her my anxiety rose to the next level in anticipation of her telling me my next patient had arrived. 

“Ms. Brimm?”

Frantic, I belted, “Yes, Sharon!” I felt my eyes bulging from my head and my body tense up. 

“
Mr. Jacobs is on line three. Would you like for me to hand you the cordless seeing that Wendy is on the handheld?”

I paused trying to process all that was going on in the room. The mention of Azmi
r’s name released a few muscles and loosened tendons, I felt immediate thawing of my disposition. I’d been living with Azmir for about a month now and to say that it had been quite an adjustment isn’t saying much at all. I loved waking up to him and lying next to him at night. He was a gentlemen who let me take as long as I needed in the bathroom and allowed me privacy in his massive closet when I needed it. He kept the toilet lid up but the seat down at my preference for easy access, and only required me to cook on the weekends. What a great set up!

The only problem was
Azmir was never home. His travel had picked up tremendously, so our time together was limited. He tried to make it home on weekends no matter how short they were and we filled our time together with manic lovemaking sessions and going out to shows and concerts to fulfill that dating portion of our relationship. Every moment with him was impassioned and my feelings for him increased with each interaction we shared—even some we didn’t. Any and all forms of communication was needed and welcomed as far as I was concerned. Like today.

“Uh...yeah
,” I said, snapping back into reality.

Sharon left out of the room and returned seconds later handing me the phone. She looked
anxious, I'm sure from me being on edge.

“
Rayna Brimm speaking. How may I help you?” Although I'd been told it was Azmir, I made it a habit of answering the phone at work the same at all times.

“Hey, you
,” his unintended sensuous baritone voice flowed so silkily through the receiver.

I could tell he had just awakened
. I knew his morning voice. It was my favorite of them all and was often used to summons my libido first thing in the morning when he needed sex. I could never resist it. When I thought about it, much of my edge from that morning came from not having had him around. Azmir’s presence had become such a balance for me, but his absence due to his demanding work schedule had made him scarce. I’d missed him. I’d missed his comfort and company that went beyond sex. The red fairy had been visiting and I didn't have the assistance of his miracle hands to combat my symptoms. 

Turning away from Wendy who was still pushing on the phone with the whi
rlpool people, I let out a deep, hard, long and yearning sigh. 

“Aww, baby...”
he sang into the phone empathically. “...you're having a pissy day.” His comforting tone tugged at my tear banks, threatening my pending cry. “I wish I were there to help. You're on what...day three, right? You're just about done,” he successfully mollified.

He guessed so accurately.
Or was it a guess?

“How did you know?”

“Ms. Brimm, it’s my job to know everything about you and meet your every need. If I were there I’d give you an hour long foot rub...and then stretch your back muscles out.”

Yes! How can I forget his
foot and back-rubs?
They usually had me hot, bothered and ready to go by the time he was done but relaxed, nonetheless.

There was a pause.

“Azmir, you there?”

“Yeah, I’
m here. How has your morning gone so far?” He changed the subject from his overt pause.

Oh, Azmir!

“The whirlpools are out again.”

“They were worked on just last week.”

“
Yes. And because they’re the latest model, the company only has a handful of trained servicemen for them so we have to wait until tomorrow for someone to come out.”

“
I can have Stan, our grounds head, swing over to take a look at them. It’s probably the filter. Whatever it is, he’d likely figure it out.”

“Thanks, Azmir.”
I let out another sigh.

“Don't thank me just yet.”
Oh, no!
“Not sure if you've heard about the Nor-Easter coming from the Caribbean. It’s supposed to hit Florida, bringing strong winds and buckets of rain starting tomorrow morning. Brett just informed me this morning that my flight has been canceled. This means I won't back for the ball. I’m so sorry.”

Crap!

Azmir had been away for close to two weeks. He started his business trip to South Africa and upon return had affairs in Miami, where he was calling from. The dilemma this presented was that Katz, Smith & Adams was hosting their annual fundraising ball to raise money for services for underprivileged children in the county in two days. This would have been the first year that I had brought a date. I was also excited about seeing Azmir for the first time in nearly two weeks.

“It's okay. I understand you can’t control nature.”

I really didn’t feel as indifferent as I’
d let on. I was beyond pissed. I’d missed him and had begun resenting his travel. It seemed as though at the time when we were growing so close to each other his business took off to a new level, but in the opposite direction of our relationship. I’d grown so close to him over the past month or so. I hated him being away so much. Of course, I didn't have the courage to tell him. I didn’t want to make him feel as if he had to choose. I had no right.

“
I'll make it up to you, I promise. Oh, that reminds me, your gown is ready. I’ll have it delivered to the apartment.”

“
No. I can pick it up on my way to dance class this evening,” I declined.

“
Are you sure? Why don't you let Ray drive you while I’m away, especially to the ball. I’m sure you’ll be drinking and I don’t want to worry about you getting home safely.”

“
Azmir, that really isn’t necessary. I'm a big girl. I'll be just fine.”

“This is more for me. It’s for my peace of mind.”
He was fighting me.

“I’
ll concede to be driven to the ball, but nothing outside of that. It would be weird being chauffeured to work.”

“
Hmmmmm...it isn’t for me.” Azmir could be really pushy at times. It was a sweet gesture, but I liked my freedom
and privacy
. 

Sharon came back into the room telling me that I had a visitor.

“Okay...gotta go. Call me tonight once you get in from your meeting...no matter how late.”

“
You got it. Try to take it easy for the remainder of the day.”

“
I'll try.” I fought back my tears.

“
Indeed.”

I didn't want to let him go. “See ya.”

My day couldn't get any worse. It was so bad that I felt those light flutters in my stomach, empty sensations that had nothing to do with hunger. I swung my legs over and out of the pool and drug myself out of the room. When I had gotten to my desk I changed out of my hosiery and washed my feet as best as I could and as quick as I could from my bathroom sink there in the office. I paged Sharon asking her to send the visitor back to my office without thinking. Seconds later, I heard a tap at my door.

“Come in
,” I welcomed with the most pleasant voice I could muster considering my raw temperament.

Brian Thompson peeked his head in with his brows lifted. I was surprised to see him.
What is this all about?

“It’
s been a long day
this
early in the morning?” I knew he was making an attempt at breaking the ice. I had assumed he was referring to having to wait to see me.

“
I could say the same about your visit.” My eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh? How is that?”
Now his eyebrows were narrowed.

“
Your visit—so early in the morning. And so unannounced,” I practically sang with a faux smile.

T
hompson was handsome. I’d started admitting that to myself back at our last staff meeting that he attended to formally introduce his firm. He was fairly tall...maybe 6 feet...with flawless ivory skin, a shade lighter than mine. He maintained a low Caesar cut like Azmir. He also had a nicely manicured goatee. I couldn't tell if he was fit but through his tailored suits I saw no evidence of a bulging belly or a plump booty. I hated seeing men with big booties. It wasn't my thing.

And while Thompson wasn't exactly my type either, I couldn't de
ny his good-looking features. Unlike Azmir, I could tell he was very much aware of them as well. He exuded arrogance. I could also tell that he tried to keep a handle on it in my presence because it was clear that it didn't appeal to me. I was glad that he quickly got the memo. I wasn’t quite sure if he was hitting on me or trying to endear himself to managerial staff for professional reasons. He hadn’t made it clear as of yet. Even seeing his approach that morning in my office confirmed his timid nature around me.  It was a far cry from our first encounter.

“
I had contracts to pick up from Sharon. She didn’t tell you?”

“
No. But then again why would she?”
Don't you have assistants that could have retrieved them instead?
 

He gave a nervous laugh.

Sorry, Thompson, this is just not my morning
. 

“
Well, that explains my visit...and I just thought to drop in to say hello to you.”

“
That is quite nice of you. Is your firm done compiling the practice's files?” I added trying not to soften my curtness.

“
Not quite. We still have the Beverly Hills and Ocean County offices to get to. Smith, Katz and Adams Sports Medicine Center has been in business for a very long time. There is lots of ground to cover.”

I had a hunch that Brian was attempting to prolong his visit.

“Well, if the staff here in the LBC could be of more assistance just give us a call.”

“
There's something I wanted to ask you.”

“Oh?”
What now?

It's not that Thompson annoyed me. It was just that I wasn't interested in seeing him on the fly without reason and in case he
was
interested I wasn’t game for any play. I didn't know how to go about telling him. The clear cut version would've been that I was living with a man. The only problem with that was Azmir wasn't exactly my boyfriend. Hell, we didn't even have a monogamy agreement, but it was expected. I hated being rude to him but I wasn't exactly available.

“
I'll be at the ball on Thursday. Will I see you there?” Thompson was no smiles but all intense eyes and jaw flexing, which I took as a sign of nervousness.

How cute
. But that question also brought back my suspended blues of having just learned that Azmir wouldn't be able to make it.

“That's the plan
. Yes.”

“
Will you be escorted by a significant other?”

Was this his way of asking if I was dating? I mean he had to know I wasn't married, right?
Is this your game, Thompson?
I played along.

“
No. Will you bring along yours?”

“None to speak of.”

I nodded my head and added a simultaneous smile. I didn't know where to go from there, and quite frankly, I had no interest in going any further.