Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) (23 page)

“
Paige, we already discussed this. I will go help my Mom today and I’ll be back later tonight.”

“
Okay.” I say and get up to put my dishes in the sink.

“
I can’t be without you Paige so please stop asking me to be.”
Whoa Mr. Serious is back.

“
I don’t want to be without you either. I just don’t want to come between you and your family.”

“
You’re not, so stop worrying.” He comes around the island and hugs me. His touch reassures me and soothes my anxiety.

“
I better go.”

“
Okay. I’ll see you tonight? I love you.” He says and kisses the top of my head.

“
I love you too. See you tonight.”

The minute he leaves I feel a bit sad, which is pathetic I know but I can’t help it, I love being around him.

When I reach the barn Lacey has Dex saddled and another young bay Quarter horse gelding named Jax.

“
You okay to ride?” She asks with her eyebrow cocked up and a big smile spread across her face.

“
Yes, I’m fine.” I growl back to her.

“
Just checking.” She tosses me a bridle. “You’re riding Dex today. I thought one milestone should be celebrated with another.”

“
Lace, are you sure? I don’t want to mess with his program.” I am nervous to ride Dex because he is in training and so far only Titus rides him.

“
Cut the nervous crap Paige. Dex is ready to go. I have been riding him while my Dad is gone. It’s time you guys get to know each other.” She doesn’t wait for me to respond she simply just leads Jax toward the arena.

I’m slightly nervous still but I know Lacey is right. Dex and I need to start working as a team. I trust Lacey and if she says he is ready, then he is. I lead Dex into the arena. I tighten my saddle and climb on top of Dex. He is so much taller than The Biz. He is lanky too. Since he is young he still hasn’t filled out through his body. It feels like my legs are going to touch when I squeeze them, asking him to move forward.

“
Just sit back and act like it’s The Biz your riding.” Lacey says looking over while trotting Jax.

I slowly walk Dex around the arena letting him look at things. Young horses can be notoriously spooky so it’s always best to let them see their surroundings before asking them to do their job. Dex doesn’t seem to care about anything so I cluck him forward asking for him to jog. He immediately picks it up and drops his head, rounding himself. His movement is smooth and easy to sit to, he has some cadence issues but I see the potential is there.

“
He has a great topline doesn’t he?” Lacey asks breaking me out of my concentration.

“
Yeah he does.” Lacey is right. Dex has natural control over his neck and shoulders. He keeps his body framed with seemingly little effort. Some horses it takes a lot of contorting to get them to hold their bodies in frame, especially when they are young. The fact Dex has this natural ability is rare and speaks volumes about his talent.

“
Go ahead and lope him. Sit back and use that outside leg to encourage him but keep the inside leg there to support the shoulder.” Lace is loping Jax at the other end of the arena. I can see Jax doesn’t have the same level of talent Dex does. Lacey constantly has to kick Jax forward to keep him going.

I do as she says and Dex easily lopes off. His rhythm is perfect. I melt down into my saddle, letting my body follow his slow 1, 2, 3 stride. “Holy cow this horse can lope.” I say to Lacey.

“
Yup, that horse can lope a hole in the ground. This one over here can’t lope for shit.” She says with a chuckle.

I continue to lope Dex for a while and then turn him and go the other direction. Going to the left is more difficult for Dex but it is not bad. I can tell though he his right-hoofed. Horses, just like people, are right-handed or left-handed. Some have very distinct abilities one way and nothing the other. It can be like trying to ride two completely horses. I am happy Dex’s weaker direction isn’t horribly uneven. I know we can strengthen it with lot of conditioning.

I continue to ride Dex for a long time. Lace has already put Jax away and pulled out a grey mare to ride. I know I should get off of him, but I don’t want to. It feels great to be riding him and I can tell we are going to make a fantastic team.

“
Are you going to ride the hide off that one or are you going to help me work something else?” Lace asks as she walks her mare around.

“
I’m going to go put him away now.” I tell her walking Dex over some poles in the center of the arena. He easily walks over them not ticking a one.

“
So...are you going to spill it or what?” Lacey says walking her mare next to me.

“
Spill what?” I say.

“
Are you going to tell me about last night with hottie McDaniels or what?” She smiles at me.

“
Shhh…” I say looking out of the arena toward the alley way of stalls. “I don’t want Alejandro or one of the other farmhands to hear you!” That is all I needed is for me to be the topic of barn gossip and my parents to get wind of my nightly visitor.

“
Don’t freak out. Everyone is on lunch break. So spill it.”

“
He told me he loves me.” I say thinking back to the moment Cutter utter those three simple words.

“
Wow, the L word huh? No wonder you gave it up.” Lacey laughs.

“
I love him Lace. I know that may be stupid or whatever but I do.” I look over Lacey and she is no longer smiling. I can see she is concerned.

“
It’s not stupid, but just be careful. He hasn’t always been the nicest person to you. I don’t think you should forget that.”

Lacey’s words catch me off guard but I know she is right. Cutter was less than nice to me for a long time. I may trust him now but I shouldn’t forget that wasn’t always the case.

“
I won’t Lace.” I say and she simply nods at me. I climb down off of Dex and lead him back toward the stalls.

For the next few days Cutter and I play house. My parents won’t be home until Wednesday so until then the house is ours and we make the most of it. Cutter goes home during the day to help on the farm and I help Lacey work the horses while he is gone.

I love the times it’s just Lacey and I riding together. We have the most fun and I feel like we get a lot accomplished. Don’t get me wrong, Lacey’s Dad, Titus, has taught me a lot but I think lately I learn more from just experimenting with Lacey. For the past few days we have set up elaborate trail patterns to work the horses over. Trail is my favorite event. Trail is like a chess match on horseback, every step is counted and must be perfectly calculated. I’m really hoping that Dex will be good at trail and I think he will be judging from my ride on him yesterday.

After I get done working horses with Lacey I help Alejandro feed and re-pick their stalls. Some people hate doing this type of stuff at the barn but not me. I love it and I think Alejandro enjoys having me around to keep him company. He has been like an older brother to me my whole life. He has worked at the barn since he was teenager and he is now in his late twenties. He is an excellent hand with the horses. He has a calming and quiet nature that puts humans and animals at ease. Alejandro isn’t one to chat much he is rather quiet. Which I am thankful for because I know he won’t mention to anyone that Cutter has been staying the night with me. I know he has seen Cutter’s truck at the house, he never mentioned it, but this morning he just looked at me while picking stalls and told me he is only phone call away if I ever need him.

When I am done feeding and cleaning stalls I venture back up to the house and wait for Cutter to come home. He has been getting done on the farm around seven at night. When he gets here he takes a shower and then we cuddled on the couch and watch television.

We are currently watching some horrible reality television when I notice how cold it is outside. There is ice forming in the corner of the windows. I tell Cutter I need to go check the horses and he agrees to go with me. I want to make sure the horses have on warm enough blankets. It is below freezing every night now.

Cutter watches as I put on warmer blankets on all the horses. He asks me questions the entire time about how do they stay on and why their lights stay on in their stalls. We chat as I make my way through the rows of horses. When I finish blanketing the last horse I walk to the end of the barn and make sure the sliding doors are closed tightly. I know the snow is coming any day.

When I turned around to walk back toward Cutter I see the heat in his eyes. This makes my stomach do a flip flop like I am on a crazy high roller coaster going full speed.

For the past few days we have been having sex like insane people. I can’t believe I am able to even wake up in the morning. I think I sleep maybe three hours a night. Cutter is insatiable and I love it.

“
Come here baby.” He says in low voice.

I oblige and walk back down the barn aisle to him. When I get to him he reaches up threading his fingers into my hair and kisses me slowly. I love it when he kisses me like this. It makes me feel cherished.

“
I love watching you out here in your element. You light up when you talk about horses. It turns me on darling.” He maneuvers us against Dex’s stall front. My butt hits the stall wall with a thud. “I need you baby, now.”

I don’t know how he does it, but I’m naked from the waist down and so is he. He reaches around me and pulls my leg over his hip and then does the same with the other leg. He balances me between him and the wall, caging me in by holding onto the metal bars in front of Dex’s stall. I feel him slid into me and it makes my eyes roll back in my head. It’s still a bit painful but the pleasure always outweighs the pain.

“
God Paige I can’t get enough of you baby.” He says as he rocks in and out of me.

Only Cutter Daniels can make having sex in a barn in freezing temperatures hot as hell. I feel the rapid build of what I know will be an epic orgasm as we move together.

“
I love you Cutter.” I tell him and with those words echoing between us he thrusts hard into me and comes apart.

We don’t move for a long time, not until Dex comes over curious as to what we are doing and starts nibbling on my hair and licking Cutter’s hand through the bars. This makes me laugh.

“
Hey buddy. I’m sorry that was really inappropriate of us.” I say to Dexter who is looking at us curiously.

Cutter helps me down and we pull back on our clothes. We lock up the barn and walk back to the house for the evening.

As we walk I picture a life with Cutter. I can see us building a house with a huge wrap around porch. I see us having two kids, a boy and a girl. I see them playing in the yard while Cutter and I sit lazily on the porch. It would be perfect. It would be our happily ever after. I want that, but I also know that whatever I want out of this life I will never want it as much as I want Cutter.

CHAPTER 23

I told Cutter I would just meet him at the party. I know he had to help on the farm late and he didn’t need to come get me. I know how busy he has been getting the farm ready for winter. Winters in Whatcom County are tough for farmers. There is the incredible amount of rain they have to contend with and then the random snowfall as well. I can only imagine the amount of time it will take Cutter to prepare for all of that.