Love Confessed (2 page)

“No. I want to look at you.” He says. “I just want to take in this moment. I have waited so long to see you in my bed; I don’t want to rush this.”

I’m a little self-conscious just sitting here letting him look at me. I consider myself soft; I’m not fat but I definitely don’t put the time in like he does to keep up my appearance. This reminds me, I need to get back to the gym if he’s going to look at me more often.

“Are you done? I think I should be the one admiring you” I say to him. Seriously, I’m not usually so self-conscious but Steve is so good looking I can’t help but feel a little out of my league here. I start to crawl down the bed towards him but he grabs my hands as I reach for him.

“You’re beautiful. I don’t know why you don’t see what I see but I could look at you all day. However, right now I want to make love to you all night long.” He kisses me again, this time gently but passionately at the same time. Oh, this man is amazing.

“Please” was the only word I could breathe.

I sit back up slowly to unbutton his pants all the while never breaking eye contact. The electricity between us is so real and charged it’s hard to look away. He doesn’t look away either. As his pants slide down his thighs, his erection springs free and I can’t keep eye contact any longer. He is everything I have imagined him to be; long, thick and beautiful. My mouth waters and I want to taste him. I’ve wanted to taste him since the first day I met him.

Before I can move though, he kisses me and slowly eases me back on the bed. My body aches for him. Every part of me is screaming to be touched. He tells me he wants to go slowly but I don’t think I can. I’ve waited for so long to feel him inside me that I think I might go crazy if he doesn’t take me soon. He kisses me deeply and passionately while I run my fingers through his hair. One of his hands is in my hair and the other slides down my side brushing over my breast, my waist, my hip, my thigh and back up. Our bodies move slowly together and I can feel his erection brush my thin trail of hair.

“I’ve wanted you for a long time Leah.” He says, finally breaking contact with my lips. Slowly he moves down my body, kissing every inch. “I’ve dreamt about what I would do with you when I finally got you and this was not it” he says as he places a gently kiss on my neck. Then again on my chest. “I wanted to fuck you. Hard.” His next words, spoken as he licks the tip of my nipple and then bites down, make my body shudder. I am helpless, completely aroused and my mind turns instantly to mush. The only thing I can focus on is his touch. “But for some reason it doesn’t feel right this time. Now that you’re here, in my arms, I want to take my time and savor you.” He continues to lick and suck on the peaks of my breast. He kisses down my stomach. When his kisses the dip below my navel my eyes spring open. I start to close my legs and his hands grip my thighs and pin them open.

“Don’t.” He snaps

“I don’t think I’m ready for that.” For some reason it has always felt more intimate than sex to me. It feels like I am giving away a part of myself.

“Let me. I promise that you won’t regret it. I need to taste you, need to see you come apart under my mouth” He says as he slips his tongue between the folds of my sex.

“Oh god.” He licks and sucks gently on my clitoris a few times and dips his tongue into me. He goes back and forth between licking and sucking and penetrating me with his tongue. For what feels like hours he continues this sweet slow torture. Without warning he plunges two fingers into me making me cry out. As his fingers move in and out, he continues to suck my clit. I’m starting to build towards my climax when I hear… 

“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP”. DAMN IT! Stupid alarm. 

Just thinking about my dream has me all worked up again. Also it reminds me of how I really wanted to grab my son’s bat and demolish my alarm clock. That dream was the most action I’ve had in over six months. Even though it was a dream, it was a very vivid dream, and I woke up wet and frustrated. Not really how I wanted to start my morning.

To distract myself, I work all morning on my deposition only stopping to get more coffee. When lunch time rolls around I send my assistant, Kelly, out for some soup. I rarely take an actual lunch and when I do it’s usually just taking a client out during a break in our court hearing. As I walk to our break room to get a glass of water, I am not paying attention. I’m too consumed with reading the file for my upcoming deposition, notes still in hand. I glance up just enough to make sure I am walking straight and slam right into a solid chest covered in dark gray and my papers scatter everywhere.

“Shit! I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” I mumble as I bend to pick up the papers. When I looked up, it’s Steve looking down at me. I nearly fall backwards in shock and embarrassment. His green eyes sear into mine, like he’s not just looking at me but looking through me. Like he can see every second of the amazing dream I had about him that has put my whole day in a funk.

“Don’t apologize. I should have been paying better attention.” He says with a flirty smile. I can feel my face flush and I look away immediately so he doesn’t notice. He makes me so nervous! God, Steve is amazing. That look in his eyes as our eyes meet tells me that he knows exactly what he would do to a woman. I can only hope he can’t see what I want him to do to me.

*              *              *

              “Mom! Mom! Where’s my Iron Man?!” Ethan screams as he comes barging into my room, shaking me awake the next morning.

Mom is the best and the worst word ever. Usually the best, but I have to admit, I’m not particularly fond of any word I hear before my alarm clock goes off. I begrudgingly roll myself out of bed, fifteen minutes before said alarm is set to go off, to search for the infamous action figure that is apparently a matter of life or death for Ethan this morning. Oh, the traumatic life of a six year old. Sometimes I’m envious of how simple his life is, and I fight my hardest to keep it this simple for as long as I can.

My search for Iron Man is half hearted because I can’t seem to get yesterday’s run in with Steve out of my head. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since then. It wasn’t a graceful, attractive, “Oh, Hi Steve, How are you today” run in. Not a run-in with a seductive flip of my hair and bat of my eyelashes. That kind of run in, the kind I wish it had been, is the kind that I had envisioned having since the first time I met him. Unfortunately for me, it was a “run-in” in the most literal sense of the term. Usually I’m acutely aware of his presence in the office. I can’t count the times I’ve found some stupid reason to walk by him, to be in the same room, in the hopes of finally working up the courage to talk to him even though I always ended up chickening out. That day, I’d been much too busy preparing for an important case coming up to notice he was there. I was too busy that even if I had known he was there, I still wouldn’t have been able to see him.

Still, not even knowing he was in the office, I instantly knew who the toned, attractive, masculine smelling chest belonged to. The chest I ran full forced into. I would rather it had belonged to anybody else; literally any other person that had ever entered the office. But as my luck would have it, it belonged to the chest of the man I’d had a crush on since the day I met him.

Steve isn’t my client, but I see him regularly. He is a client and friend of my bosses, and as such we run into each other rather frequently. I’ll see him in the halls, at company events, the occasional cocktail party at Scott’s house, the divorce party following his second marriage, and the subsequent third wedding. There has always been something about him that I’m just drawn to. He’s tall, if I had to guess I would put him around six foot two. He’s muscular but not in a gross way, it’s just enough that you can see the bulge of his bicep through his suit jacket. His brown hair is short on the sides and a little longer on top. It always looks like he just ran his fingers through it. It’s never combed to perfection, and the tousled look always makes me want to tug on it even more. Every time I see him he has a five o’ clock shadow, but honestly he probably shaves every morning. He is just that manly. The kind of man that knows how to take care of himself, but in a way that never leaves you questioning his sexuality. My best friend and college roommate, Hannah, affectionately refers to him as my polished lumbersexual based on my very vivid descriptions of his masculine ruggedly dominant sex appeal.

He carries a certain authority to him. When he walks into a room, you know that he is the boss. He is always polite, good natured, usually smiling, but there is something powerful and possessive about the look in those eyes. There’s a magnetism created by his confidence and the pull it has on me is terrifying. This is why I’ve always tried to get close but ended up deciding to keep my distance instead – for both my safety and sanity. I’ve never been entirely sure that I can trust myself around him. All he has to do is look at me, and he’ll be able to see the sexual turn my thoughts always take the second I catch sight of him.

Because of my dream, all of my thoughts lately have been about Steve and our encounter in the hall. The direction of my thoughts, my constant daydreams, has me completely horrified. He isn’t exactly somebody that I am in a position to ignore even though I now desperately wish that I could. Unfortunately, not only is he impossible to avoid in the “Oh I may see him someday” future, I will also have to see him in the much too immediate future. I mean, he is throwing our firm’s anniversary party this Friday for fuck’s sake! I am absolutely dreading being in the same room as him on Friday, just knowing that there is a chance he could know what I thought when I our eyes met. Well, less like a chance and more like the probability that it is true. That look he locked me in made me fairly certain I’ll never be able to look at him again without turning a god awful shade of red.

The lack of interest he’s shown in me, ever, only serves to make me even more certain that the attraction has been one sided. This in turn succeeds greatly in making me all the more embarrassed about our unfortunate encounter in the hall.

I turn around to see Ethan eating his cereal and staring at me confused. How long have I been zoned out thinking about this? Ugh, I need to pull myself together. I walk over to the counter by the sink and pour myself the first cup of coffee of my day. I can tell it’s going to be one of those days when my coffee cup is never empty.

“Ethan, honey, did you find Iron Man?” I ask my son, trying to sound as concerned as

I possibly can about the fateful disappearance of his favorite action figure.

“No mom and I really wanted to take him for show and tell today,” he’s practically in

tears so I know this really is life or death in his six year old world.

“Well c’mon, I’ll help you search your room before school.”

After ten minutes of sifting through all of his treasures (aka junk) we are finally able to find Iron Man and my son seems to be instantly at peace. On the way to school he tells me what he’s going to tell his classmates and his enthusiasm makes me smile. The conversation actually makes me happy enough to forget about stupid Steve for a minute and the reprieve is appreciated. 

My day passes with an unusual amount of inactivity, which is unfortunate because it has left me with an abundance of time to think. Time to think about the one man that I’m  trying so hard not to think about. My run-in with him coupled with my recent dream has me feeling like I’m losing my mind. The image of his eyes are burned into my psyche and all I can picture is his strong hands all over me. His soft but confident mouth kissing me on my lips, my neck, and down my chest. Ugh, Leah! Get your shit together.

*              *              *

Wednesday is pretty uneventful. Being a lawyer has opened a world up to me that has turned things that I used to view as dramatic into normal, ordinary parts of my lifestyle. Thursday, however, is a nightmare from the moment I enter the doors of Sanders and Smith. One of my clients has been arrested for trying to break a custody order, and I’m in no mood for the strange interest Scott is showing in who I am bringing as a date to our anniversary party on Friday. His incessant pestering has reignited the thoughts I’ve worked so hard all week to erase from my brain. Also, I still need to do the dress shopping I keep finding reasons to put off, but I have court this afternoon so it will have to wait until after work.

As I exit the courthouse I am secretly grateful that the ex-wife of my client did not show. He has been taking care of their daughter while his wife deals with her addiction to pain pills. I feel for him but attempting to kidnap his daughter is still illegal. Because she didn’t show, no charges were pressed against my client and he was released from custody today. Definitely a good day at work. It’s three o’clock and I have just enough time to actually pick Ethan from school. I say goodbye to my client and hurriedly make my way down the street towards the parking lot by the courthouse. At exactly the same moment I step off of the curb, look across the street and see Steve – I’m halted dead in my tracks at the sight. He’s in dark washed jeans and a fitted white t-shirt and… he looks incredible. He’s not even flexing and I can still see the bulge of his bicep. It’s so sexy and arms just happen to be my favorite feature in a man. I’ve never seen him so relaxed before and I’m sure this is going to fuel a whole new series of fantasies. He looks so much gruffer, so much stronger, and so much more able to throw me up against a wall and fuck me than he does in his sexy suits.

Once again, I find myself in a daze and I’m not sure how long I have been standing here staring but I realize that it’s long enough that I’ve caught his attention. I see him turn and look my way, just standing and staring back at me. Damn it! I really need to stop daydreaming about him so much or at least be a little bit sneakier about it.  I’m starting to lose parts of my days because of this little habit I have developed, because I can’t seem to keep myself from breaking into sudden and all consuming daydreams about this man I don’t even know. Embarrassed that he sees me staring at him I immediately drop my eyes and walk around to my driver side door. As I drive away I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I have been holding.