Love, But Never (29 page)

              “OH!  She’s feeling feisty this afternoon, folks.  Let’s start our last song so I can let her kick my ass,” Aaron winked again before counting off the last song of their set.

              “Wow, you get the magical girlfriend title right away, huh?” Liv said into her ear.  “How long did it take to get that from John?  Plus a
very
public acknowledgement of your involvement?  How long did
that
take from John, and it was just a few friends…,” Liv asked, chewing on her bottom lip, seemingly nervous.

              “Yeah, it’s actually kind of surreal.  I never, in a million years, thought we’d be together like this.  It’s been…” Marissa trailed off, not finding the words to adequately describe how she felt about her escalated relationship with Aaron.  She knew she wanted to be with him, but her trust that he felt the same wavered occasionally.  There was so much he didn’t know about her, and she was afraid that once he found out, he’d run and she’d be shattered.

              “I never doubted it, from the first moment I saw you together, Ris.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  There’s heat and comfort between Aaron and you.  With John, I only ever saw comfort and fear,” Liv looked down to her hands.

              “Why do you keep bringing up John?” Marissa eyed Liv suspiciously. 

              “Thanks for the surprise, honey.”  Marissa felt Aaron’s arms slide around her waist and she turned in his embrace.

              “A pack mule?  Seriously?  That was bad, even for you,” Marissa gave him her best wounded puppy look.

              “It could’ve been worse.  I could’ve called attention to you driving without a license,” Aaron said, as seriously as he could muster.

              “What are you talking about?  You know I have a license.”

              “I don’t know why,” Aaron started with the biggest grin on his face that she’d ever seen.  “After all, there’s not a road between the kitchen and the bedroom.”

              Marissa’s jaw dropped and, reflexively, she smacked his arm before returning his grin.  “You don’t want to eat anything I cook.  Bake maybe, but definitely not what I cook.  I mean, unless you want to take your life into your hands.”

              “Then I guess we’ll just have to spend more time in the bedroom…darn,” he finished, pulling her in for a kiss.  Aaron’s arms brought Marissa tight into his chest and she felt him deepen the kiss.

              “Alright, you two, do you need to get a room?”  Liv asked, smiling.

              Aaron looked at Liv over Marissa’s shoulder.  “You talking shit?”

              Liv answered with a head nod and a laugh.

“Fuck you,” he said matter-of-fact, but with a laugh to show he was joking, before pulling Marissa flush with his body.  She could feel every muscle against her.  It felt weird to have him show her so much affection in public, but she was ecstatic that he was claiming her in front of his fans.  After another searing kiss, he asked her, “Are you hungry?”

              “Always,” Marissa answered, passion glittering in her eyes.

              “I meant for food, Marissa.  We have about two hours before they announce the winner.  Do you want to go get something to eat?” Aaron rolled his eyes.  “Although, I could go for
that
, too.”

              “Sure, that sounds great,” she said, taking his hand.  “Where are we going?”

              “One of our friends who lives here suggested this Greek place up the road?”

              “I know the place they are talking about, and I love it!  Let’s go!” Marissa pulled him toward her car.  “Is that okay, Liv?” she asked as an afterthought.

              “It’s perfectly fine, hon.  Can you bring me back some falafel?” Liv’s face was as excited about Marissa’s one on one time as she felt.  “Don’t hurry back though, take your time.”

              “Oh, we plan to,” Aaron said, looking only at Marissa as they continued their walk toward the parking lot.

CHAPTER 21

March 2002

Aaron’s fingers entwined with hers as she led him from the porch into the house she shared with Susan.

“You’re early!” Marissa gushed as he pushed her against the granite island in the kitchen, rocking his hips into hers, his free hand on the back of her head, pulling her lips to his.  The currents rushing through her body at his touch were quickly becoming normal, but still oh-so-exhilarating, making her feel more alive than she had ever been.

“You said you had so much to do before Lucian’s going away party that I wanted to help,” he said when they finally broke their kiss.

“But you don’t even know Lucian,” she said as she felt the blood rushing through her body.

“I know, but I thought he was your boyfriend enough at all those shows he came to, I feel like I know him.  I’ve stared a few holes into his head and tried not to imagine what the two of you were like together enough times,” Aaron chuckled. “Can you help me unload the beer and liquor I brought?”

“Absolutely!” she squealed, glad he had come to help, since Susan was out of town.

***

“Should we play some Drinking Jenga?” Liv asked.

“Totally!” Lucian answered.

“If that’s what you want to do tonight, we will,” Marissa said, pulling the game from the buffet beside the dining table. “I’m going to miss you
SO
much!  What am I going to do without my vague emotional bullshit guy?” Tears seared in Marissa’s eyes as she attempted to blink them back.

“Oh, doll, I’m going to miss you, too!” Lucian pulled her in for a bear hug before whispering, “But I’m not sure you need me for that anymore.” He cocked his head in Aaron’s direction while a blush crept across Marissa’s cheeks, warming them.

“I’ll always need you, Lucian, remember that,” Marissa pulled him tighter before releasing him to set up the game.  Before she could motion Liv to sit at her left, John, angrily, stalked to the seat.  He hadn’t been acting like himself all night.  Aaron sat to her right and took her hand.

“Alright, Lucian, you go first!” Marissa announced as everyone else found their seats.

With more concentration than necessary to extract the first Jenga tile, he chose his piece.  Turning it over, he announced, “Drink left!” He shifted to indicate his friend, Mary, needed to take a swig of her beer before taking her turn, as their games usually went counter-clockwise. They were big believers in bucking “tradition.”

“Rock and roll!” Mary yelled before her drink.

By the time it was Aaron’s turn, Marissa was nervous about what his tile would say. She hoped it wouldn’t involve much contact that didn’t involve her.

“Massage right?” he questioned.

Marissa let out a relieved sigh as Mary’s hands went to Aaron’s shoulders to obey the tile.

“My turn!” Marissa announced pulling her tile. “WATERFALL! WOO!” she exclaimed, holding up her full drink as everyone at the table but Aaron groaned. “You can’t stop drinking until the person to your left stops drinking,” she explained.

“And Marissa can circular breathe, so this always means trouble for the rest of us,” Lucian said.

“Let’s go!” Marissa said tilting her bottle into her mouth and sucking down the strawberry daiquiri flavored liquid, draining it, methodically.  Her eyes watched everyone else trying to keep up.  Liv was the first to sputter and give up.  One by one, everyone lost their breath and stopped drinking before Marissa finished her drink.

“HA!” she shouted, as she slammed the bottle back to the table empty, the room slightly spinning now.  “Whoa! I need some water now.”

“I can’t believe you can do that,” Aaron said as he retrieved a bottle of water for her.

“Really?” she whispered in his ear, “because I believe you’ve seen the better part of this talent in action.” She felt John tense beside her, but ignored it as a grin spread across Aaron’s face at the memory.

“My turn,” John announced, pulling his tile.  “Kiss right,” he said through his clenched jaw.

Marissa shot a worried look at Aaron and whispered, “It’s just a game, no tongue, I promise.”  He visibly relaxed.

“Okay,” he smiled, trusting her.

She turned to John, who immediately swept her into his arms and took advantage of the shocked look on her face, jamming his tongue into her mouth.  Marissa, immediately, started to push against his embrace and tried to turn her head, but he held her firmly in place.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!” Aaron roared, jumping from his seat to help Marissa pry out of John’s arms.

“Claiming what’s mine!” John yelled, banging backwards into the table and knocking over the Jenga tower.  His blue eyes turned black as he glared at Aaron.

“
Yours?!
Seriously, John?” Marissa screeched as she backed away from him, towards Aaron. 

“Yeah,
John
, yours? What the fuck?” Liv jumped up from her seat on the other side of John.

“Now isn’t the time, Liv!” John turned his fury toward Liv’s green eyes.

“
Really
?” she fumed, crossing her arms under her breasts.  “Then when
would
be the best time to bring up last night, or the past month for that matter?  Do you want me to wait until you are through ramming your tongue down you best friend’s unwilling throat in front of her boyfriend? Because, by all means,
CONTINUE
!” She gestured toward him to carry on, but her eyes narrowed.

“Last
month?!
” Marissa said, indignantly. “We’ve been broken up for three weeks, John.”

“Shit! Damn it, Liv, you need to keep your mouth shut!” John roared.

Marissa looked to Lucian, who looked like he wished he had a bowl of popcorn to enjoy the scene playing out in front of him, and rolled her eyes.

“Wow, so your proclamations of testing me were bull shit, huh?  You just wanted it to be my fault.  That I was the bitch who dared fuck another guy two days after you broke up with me,” Marissa snorted.

“Liv and I didn’t sleep together until after you and I weren’t together,” John offered.

“Well, thank you, John, for waiting to plunder my friend’s nether regions until after you’d broken up with me.”

“We didn’t sleep together until you told me about sleeping with Aaron.  I wanted to see if sex could make you feel as good as you said when you felt like crap.”

“Fucking
thank you
, John.  That didn’t make me feel cheap
at all
!” Liv said and stormed through the kitchen and out the back door.

“Bravo, John.  You really know how to make a girl feel special.  I thought you wanted to be some kind of white knight.  Right now, you are acting like a royal douche,” Marissa spat at him.

“John, you really fucked this up, you need to go talk to Liv,” Lucian offered from his seat at the head of the dining table.

“He’s right,” Marissa agreed.

“FINE!” John started, and then pointed to Marissa and Aaron. “But this isn’t over.  You can’t trust this guy, Marissa.” He finished and stalked toward the door Liv had just slammed. She saw Aaron wince.

“Apparently, I can’t trust my best friend, either!” Marissa called after him, slipping into Aaron’s open, comforting arms.

After nearly everyone had gone home or passed out, Marissa found Lucian sitting in the driveway, looking up at the stars.

“Hey, how’s it going?” she asked, sitting down next to him on the cool concrete. 

“Okay, just thinking about leaving.  It still doesn’t seem real,” Lucian’s dark eyes turned to her.

“To me either.  I’m really going to miss you.  I know I already said that, but I can’t say it enough,” she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Until last weekend, I was worried about you, but now…” Lucian started, putting his arm around her waist.  “I’ve never seen you more happy in your skin and calm.” Marissa could feel him smile, then frown. “That was until John’s masculine display of… you know, even I don’t know what he was trying to accomplish.”

“You mean his attempt at a pissing contest with Aaron?” Marissa chuckled.  “He didn’t count on Liv calling him out like that.”

“Are you two going to be okay?  You and John, I mean,” Lucian asked, genuinely concerned.

“I don’t know.  I mean, you read all these romance novels where best friends live in this bubble of friendship, until they kiss each other.  Then it’s like their life is now complete or some crap like that.  The dam breaks on all the love for each other they’ve been holding back,” Marissa leaned back onto the hard driveway, bringing Lucian with her.  “I kept waiting for that all consuming feeling of love, aside from friendship, to hit me with John.  It never did.  I think he expected the same thing, and that’s why we kept trying.”

“I think you were both trying to play it safe with your hearts, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“How do you feel about you and Aaron?” Lucian turned to look into Marissa’s eyes.

“Really good,” she smiled.

“
And?
” he pushed.

“And?”

“Seriously, Marissa, what else are you feeling?”

Marissa sighed and shifted her eyes from his. “Terrified.”

“It’s exhilarating, isn’t it?” he smiled at her.

“Definitely, but aren’t you the same guy that had his heart ripped out two months ago?  I seem to remember you drunk and sobbing while we watched
Moulin Rouge
,” a slow grin spread across Marissa’s face.

“That was me, but I’d do it all again because it made me feel alive.  Did being with John ever make you feel like that?”

“Maybe-.”

“Marissa, be honest with yourself, for once!”

Marissa sat up and propped her chin up on her knees, searching her feelings for John.

“Not really.  I always felt like I was safe with him, because if he ever did something like what he did with Liv, it wouldn’t bother me.”

“And did what Liv confessed bother you?”

“I’m angry, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t feel betrayed.  I’m angry that he made me feel like the bad guy for being with Aaron and I’m angry that Liv would go after someone I was dating, regardless of the feelings I actually felt for him.”