Lorie's Heart (24 page)

“I agree.”

“Even if we aren't getting married.”

“But we could change our minds about that later. Right?”

Surprised, she swung her gaze to him. Surely he was kidding with her, but his expression was as serious as a funeral. “
Jah.
I suppose so.”

He flashed her a ghost of a smile.

“It will be next year before I can join the church.”

“Didn't your
eldra
tell you that the right person is worth waiting for?”

“Are you saying I'm the right girl?”

“I'm saying that you were for a long time, and I'm not ruling it out yet.” He stopped. “Unless you want me to.”

Her heart thumped hard in her chest. She didn't know what she wanted except for Zach and that wasn't possible. She cared for Jonah. She always had. He would make a
gut
husband and father. “Can we just take things slow and see where they go from there?”

For a moment she thought he would tell her no. Then he gave her a small nod. “
Jah.
Sure. And tomorrow?”

She knew what he was asking. Most everyone in their buddy bunch had gotten married to another member of the group. Caroline and Emily were the exceptions. Lorie knew they were coming, which meant they would bring their spouses. It was very possible that she and Jonah might be the only two single people there.

“We can hang out with each other, can't we?”

“
Jah,
but everyone is going to think there's more.”

“I'm so tired of worrying what everyone else is thinking.” She sighed, heavy and long.

“I understand. After you left—” He shook his head and didn't finish. He didn't have to. She knew what he was going to say. After she left everyone was talking about her, him, and the two of them. She had escaped those rumors until the day she came back, but Jonah hadn't had it that easy. He'd had to endure the sad looks and whispers behind his back.

“People are going to talk regardless. How about we please ourselves and not worry about them?” she said.

“And if they ask?”

“What do you want to tell them?”

Jonah thought about it a minute, then smiled. “How about we tell them that if they want to know more, they'll have to wait and see.”

As far as Lorie was concerned, it was the perfect answer.

 

 

Jonah let go of the knotted rope and plunged into the water. He surfaced and tossed his hair out of his eyes before moving to the side so Andrew could have his turn.

So far, so good. No one had said anything to him about Lorie and her presence at their buddy day, but he knew it was only a matter of time. He'd caught their looks when they thought he wasn't paying attention.

Andrew splashed into the pond next to him and surfaced seconds later, laughing and sputtering as he did so. Jonah liked Andrew. He'd arrived in Wells Landing a few years back with a broken heart. Who knew he'd end up married to another newcomer in their district and that love would heal both their hearts.

But it was Andrew's cousin Danny who swam over to him and said, “So what's going on?”

Jonah looked at the canopy of trees and sunshine above them. “It's a
gut
day for a picnic.”

“That's not what I mean, and you know it.”

He did, but he'd been hoping to get out of actually answering.

“So?” Danny asked. “What's going on between you and Lorie Kauffman?”

“
Nix,
” he said. “We're just
freinden.
”

Danny laughed. “Uh-huh.”

Jonah had known it would be like this, but as he said the words, he wondered how honest they really were. Was there truly nothing going on between him and Lorie? They had been a couple so long; could they go back and be less? With everything that had happened this summer, could they ever be more?

“I don't expect you to understand,” he finally said.

“Julie's cousin, Sarah, really likes you, you know.”

He did know. But that didn't change things. Jonah had to work out whatever still lingered between him and Lorie before he could go on with his life. Much less start anything new with someone else. “We're talking things through,” he finally said. “Taking it slow and seeing where it goes from there.”

Danny shook his head. “Do you really think she's going to stay here after living with the
Englisch
for almost three weeks?”

“Why should I think anything different?”

“Love truly is blind.”

“What?” Jonah asked.

“Just something I read on an
Englisch
greeting card.” Danny flipped over onto his back and swam away.

Was this how it was going to be now? Was everyone going to question their motivations and the sincerity of their love?

Lorie may have left to go live with the
Englisch.
He tried to understand her reasoning, but he couldn't. He couldn't put himself in her place and figure out what he would do in the same situation. He had tried on several occasions. But the situation was so bizarre. He couldn't imagine finding out that his father had a secret life among the
Englisch,
or that despite everything he'd been told in his life he was not really Amish.

He swam toward shore and grabbed his towel from a low-hanging tree branch. He shook the water out of his ears and wiped the excess moisture from his hair. Despite his efforts, the water dripped from his hair to slide down his back.

Lorie waved him over to the blanket where she sat with Caroline. “Are you ready for a sandwich?” she asked. “Or some cheese and crackers?”

He dropped down beside them on the quilt. “Where's Andrew?”

Caroline pointed toward the rope swing where Andrew appeared to be gearing up for the jump of the day.

Raised in the conservative Swartzentruber district in Tennessee, Caroline wore a dress even for swimming. Jonah had heard Andrew teasing his wife a little when they'd first arrived, but he knew that it was all in love. Caroline wasn't the only one there who felt more comfortable keeping with traditional dress, while Lorie and some of the others wore one piece
Englisch
swimsuits with T-shirts and shorts over top of them.

Lorie smiled and handed him a glass of lemonade. She seemed happy enough, but still she was different than the girl she had been. Sad. That was it. She seemed a little bit sad. As if she had left a chunk of her heart with the
Englisch.
Or maybe the problem was losing her beloved father. He couldn't imagine what that felt like. The Amish talked of God's will and acceptance of what came, but he knew that if he'd lost his father he would have a tough time moving on. At least for a while. For Lorie it had only been a few months. She just needed space to heal. Surely that's all it was.

He was glad they were taking it slow. Maybe then he would have time to understand. Bring back the happiness that once shone in her eyes. Regardless of their differences and all the arguments and breakups over the years, he loved her with all his heart and he always had.

“I still don't understand,” Stan said as he and the rest of table eight worked on their latest craft. “Beaded key chains for the soldiers overseas,” he grumbled. “What the heck does a man in a combat zone need with a key chain? And a beaded one at that.”

“I'd much rather be painting,” Linda agreed.

“Oh, yes, dear. Painting would be nice.” Betty looked up from her knitting and gave them all a smile.

“And how is it that she gets out of making these blasted things?” Stan asked.

“I am knitting scarves for the soldiers,” Betty explained. “Perhaps you should take up a yarn craft and you could do the same.”

Stan shook his head. “Those men in the Middle East have about as much need for a wool scarf as they do a beaded key chain.”

“And women,” Linda added. “There are women there too.”

“So when do we get to paint again?” Eugene boomed.

How did Zach explain? “Lorie was in charge of painting.”

“Who?” Betty asked.

“Lorie,” Zach said again. How many times were they going to make him say her name and how many more times did he need to say it before the pain of her leaving lessened?

“Oh, nice girl,” Betty said.

Her leaving had left a big hole in his heart. It wasn't like this was his first breakup. In fact, they hadn't been dating to start with. How could they break up if they had never been together? As far as non-breakups went, this one was the worst. Not only did his family—Owen included—ask him daily if he had talked to her, the seniors kept asking the same thing. They wanted to rehash every minute of every conversation he'd had with Lorie in order to find out what he did to make her leave. In the end he could only come up with one explanation. She missed her family and wanted to return home. But his theory nagged at him, made him toss and turn at night.

“Get her back,” Eugene hollered.

Zach blinked away his thoughts. “What?”

“Get. Her. Back,” Eugene said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Get her back.

“Lorie went back to her family in Wells Landing.”

“Doesn't she know we like her?” Stan asked.

“Her family is there.” It was the best explanation Zach had.

“She could still come visit.” This from Betty.

“No.” Zach shook his head. “Lorie's Amish and her family doesn't want her spending so much time out of their community.”

“That doesn't make any sense,” Linda said.

“She didn't look Amish to me,” Stan said, holding up his key chain to inspect it closer.

She didn't to Zach either. It was easy to forget what she looked like in her Amish garb when he preferred her in that floral dress and cowboy boots.

But he knew something that the seniors at table eight didn't. Lorie had left all her English clothes at Ashtyn's house. She wasn't coming back.

 

 

“Are you going to be okay?” his mother asked that evening over dinner.

He didn't bother to ask her what she was talking about. Instead he gave her his best scoff. “Of course. Why wouldn't I be?”

She dunked a piece of her takeout chicken into its sauce. “I've never seen you act like this over a girl.”

“I'm fine. Just nervous about the interview tomorrow.” He had a job interview the next day at ConocoPhillips in Bartlesville about an hour north of Tulsa. But the idea of moving that far away didn't settle well. Or maybe it was the thought of starting over. He would be low man on the totem pole, stuck in a cubicle for the first few years. Somehow that seemed more like a prison sentence than a starting point of his life.

“You'll do fine.”

She was his mother. Of course she thought that. But if Zach was being honest with himself, he didn't really care how he did. For some reason it didn't seem as important now as it had a couple of months ago.

He dragged a couple of fries through his ketchup puddle and stuffed them into his mouth. Change was always hard. Starting a new job, a new career were no exception. He would miss the seniors, especially the seniors at table eight. In the span of a few short weeks, they would lose Lorie and Zach. But he couldn't worry about that. The seniors had suffered loss before. They would recover. Zach wasn't so sure about himself.

He wouldn't say he bombed the interview, but he could have done better. He tried, maybe too hard, to show enthusiasm for accounting in the main offices of a major oil company, but something was missing. And it wasn't just Lorie.

Yes, he finally admitted it to himself. He missed Lorie. He might even be in love with her, but what good would it do either of them. What was he supposed to do? Go after her? Convince her to come back to Tulsa with him?

He shook his head and pulled his gym bag from the backseat of the Ghia. Lorie's friend Luke would be by to pick it up later. For now, Zach had to get inside and clock in. He had pushed it a little close, but if he hurried he'd still have time to change out of his interview clothes and into his regular work attire of jeans and a black T-shirt like the rest of the nonmedical employees wore.

He stepped into the cool lobby, blinking several times to clear the sunspots from his vision.

“There you are.” He heard Carol rather than saw her. “Mr. Anderson, this is Zach Calhoun, Sandy Calhoun's son.”

“It's good to meet you.” The man grabbed Zach's hand and gave it a strong shake before Zach even registered who he was. Frank Anderson was the owner of this living center and three others spread between Tulsa and Oklahoma City.

“You too, sir.” What did the owner want with him?

“I came by for a visit today and got quite an earful from some of the residents.”

He knew just which ones.

“Can you tell me about this?” He held up the painting that Lorie had done of her brother.

“My friend, Lorie Kauffman, painted that.” She was his friend, right?

“Do you think she would be interested in painting a few more like this for us to hang here in the center?”

He thought of her telling him how painting wasn't allowed among the Amish. “I don't think so.”

“Is it a matter of money? I'll pay her a fair price. All of my residents would love to have paintings like these to look at instead of that sort of thing.” He waved a hand at the geometric abstract print hanging above the reception area couch. There was nothing wrong with it, but even Zach could see that it didn't have the same energy as Lorie's painting. Her colors were brighter, yet somehow soothing and peaceful. They held both an innocence and a sophistication just like the artist herself.

“She's gone back to live with her family.”

A frown marred Mr. Anderson's brow, but he didn't pry. Instead he pulled a card from his breast pocket and handed it to Zach. “If you talk to her, will you tell her I'm interested?”

“Of course.” Like he was going to talk to Lorie ever again.

Frank Anderson thanked him and left the center.

Zach checked his watch ten minutes later, and he still had to change clothes.

“Calhoun.”

Luke Lambright, Lorie's ex-Amish friend, strolled into the center. Zach wasn't sure, but from the look on Luke's face, his threat to make Zach pay if he broke her heart wasn't a bluff. But Zach had done nothing of the sort. Had he?

“Here are the keys. I filled it up with gas.”

“Cool,” Luke said. “Thanks.”

Zach shrugged. “It was the least I could do,” he said, even though Luke taking the car meant Zach would have to catch a ride home with his mother.

“You leave anything in the car?”

He had meant to clean everything out of it last night, but he managed to talk himself out of it until it was too late. But he hadn't left anything in the car. He'd only driven it twice since Lorie had left and only then in the best interest of the battery. At least that was what he told himself.

“Wait. I think I might have something in the trunk.” He turned to Carol. “I know I'm late, but can you give me a couple of minutes?”

Carol smiled. “Of course. I would say take your time, but the group that always sits at the one table together have come out three times to ask where you are.”

“I won't be long.”

He followed Luke out to the car and raised the front hood. There they were—his basketball shoes, right next to the paintings Lorie had stashed there when she'd called him to come get her from Wells Landing.

“Do you think Lorie would want to sell her paintings?”

“Those?” Luke pointed to the canvases all stacked in one corner of the trunk. “Lorie painted these?” He pulled one out and examined it. It was a rendering of Betty, half in sunlight and half in shade. The picture was poignant and intriguing at the same time. And knowing both the artist and the subject made the painting even more special. The two sides of Betty.

“This is fantastic,” Luke said, glancing at the next painting on the stack.

“I know. But do you think she'd want to sell them? The owner here at the center wants to purchase some of her work to hang in the homes.”

“I don't know about selling them, but I could ask. I know she can't keep them once she joins the church.”

And marries her fiancé.

He had been such a fool.

“Will you call her and ask? I can take care of everything from there, but if I call, she probably won't answer.”

“Yeah, sure.” Luke studied him, though Zach couldn't tell what he had on his mind. “I won't ask what happened between the two of you. But if I ever find out that you intentionally hurt her . . .”

Zach shook his head. “I wouldn't hurt her for anything in the world. I don't think she wanted to leave the Amish in the first place.”

“A person doesn't leave the Amish on a whim. She has it in her somewhere or she never would have thought about it.”

Zach wondered how much he knew about Lorie's father. But that wasn't his secret to tell.

“Here.” Luke took the paintings from the trunk of the Ghia. He handed half of them to Zach and carried the rest of them inside the building. “I think these would be safer inside until we find out what Lorie wants to do.”

Carol helped Zach find a place to store the paintings, then he changed his clothes and clocked in. Craft time was almost over when he finally made his way to the rec room. As far as days go, he was exhausted, and it hadn't even truly begun.

“We were beginning to think that you weren't coming in at all today,” Stan grumbled as Zach made his way over to the table.

“I had a job interview this morning.” As he said the words he realized how much he hated them. He didn't want to leave the living center and all of its eccentric residents. He loved them all. But he couldn't afford to keep working there forever. He had bills to pay. Plus, he was twenty-four years old. He had to move out on his own sometime. But this place had taken hold of his heart. Despite the fact that he had spent the last four years studying accounting and how to manage a company's fiscal needs, he would rather make beaded key chains with a bunch of senior citizens.

His mother would say that he was putting off the inevitable. That he was trying to hold on to life before graduation and the good times from then. But it was time to grow up. He knew that. Everyone had to eventually.

 

 

She was unusually quiet tonight. But if Jonah was being honest, Lorie had been unusually quiet since she had returned from the
Englisch.

Oh, how he had hoped they could return to the life they had before she left. Things were good. He thought they were good. Not perfect. But what in life was?

All he had wanted to do since he was eighteen was marry Lorie Kauffman and start a family. But he wondered if maybe he wanted that more than she did.

In the three weeks since her return, they had been together as friends, going to all the activities they had before as a couple. Bowling night, volleyball games, game nights with other couples. He had managed to keep their relationship on even ground, but he missed the old Lorie, the stubborn girl who argued with him. The one who had an opinion and wasn't afraid to share it. This person she had become was reserved and silent. She didn't argue with him or fuss when things didn't go the way she thought they should.

But was she different because of what happened to her while she was with the
Englisch
or because she never wanted to return in the first place?

“Why did you come back?” He hadn't meant to ask the question, but there it was out in the open as they drove home from yet another game night. This one with Emily and Elam.