Living Again (50 page)

“I’ll hold him, if you want,” Kayley offered, her hands itching to hold the baby boy.

“Thanks, Kayley. You’re too sweet.” Kellie passed her the sleeping newborn, and Kayley sighed contentedly.

“Wow. He’s so small. It’s almost hard to remember Alexis being this size.” She smiled at his cute little face and button nose. He was dressed in a reindeer pajama outfit with feet, and it was all she could do not to lean over and smell him just for the baby smell.

“Be right back,” Kellie said, hurrying away to the restroom. Kayley sat down on the couch with him, not able to tear her eyes from his face. Touching his small hand, he reflexively held onto her finger, and she almost cried.
I want a baby
, she thought.
A little boy just like him
. She sucked in a breath, scaring herself. She loved Alexis so much, was she really ready to admit she wanted another one? It still surprised her that she thought things like this.

Ben stood across the room at the open sliding glass door, watching Kayley. The look on her face was priceless. She was in love with that little baby. His heart squeezed at her tender expression. She looked lost in thought, and he wondered if she was thinking about having a baby. He wanted nothing more in this world than to have a baby with Kayley, to give Alexis a brother or sister. But he also knew he had to do this right.

Crossing the room, he sat next to her gently as to not disturb Kasen. “He’s adorable,” Ben murmured. Kayley turned to look at him and smiled. “But not as beautiful as the look on your face when you look at him.”

She turned back to him, running her finger along his cheek. “He’s so tiny, Ben. I don’t remember Alexis being this small. I spent so much of that time in a fog,” she stopped, trying to control the emotion threatening to overtake her. “I missed a lot of it.”

Ben moved closer to her, kissing her gently. He knew that it was hard for her to think of Alexis’ babyhood, because she had been so consumed in grief she had been barely surviving. “I want to give you as many of these as you want,” he said against her hair. “You just say the word. I would love nothing more than to have a baby with you.”

This time, tears did fill her eyes at his words. “I love you, Ben.”

“He looks good on you two,” Kellie said.

“Yes, he does,” Ben agreed. “Can I hold him?”

“Sure,” Kellie said. “I’ll go get a drink and relish not holding a sack of potatoes for a few minutes.”

They laughed and she walked away, leaving Ben and Kayley alone with Kasen again.

“I love you, too,” he nuzzled her neck. “Plus, we’re really good at trying to have a baby.”

“Oh, here we go.” Kayley pretended to be annoyed. “I-I want to get married first,” she said quietly.

Ben lifted her chin so she looked him in those gorgeous blue eyes. “Let’s go tomorrow.”

“No! I want the romance and the whole thing,” she protested. “Plus, you haven’t asked me yet.”

“Mommy! Daddy!” Alexis ran up, Cate in tow. She stopped when she saw the baby. Her eyes got wide as she looked at him. “Baby doll for Wex?”

Ben laughed. “He’s not a doll, baby girl. He’s a real baby. See? Put your hand right here, but be gentle.”

“Pick me up, Daddy,” Alexis insisted. Ben sat her on his lap and she leaned over, touching Kasen’s soft skin. “Baby. For Mommy, Daddy, Wex? Our baby?”

“No, Princess, it’s Cam’s baby. Remember Daddy’s friend Cam? He’s over there,” Ben pointed and Alexis followed his finger.

Alexis stuck out her lip. “Me want baby. Wex, Mommy, Daddy baby.”

Ben caught Kayley’s eye, and a grin spread over both of their faces. “Us too, Princess. Us too.”

Christmas morning came, and Kayley woke up first. As the first beams of sunlight started filtering through the blinds, she watched Ben’s face. It had been two years since she woke up with someone on Christmas morning. She still couldn’t believe she was waking up totally and completely in love. In sleep, Ben looked like the little boy he once was. His face was relaxed in sleep, and his favorite sleeping position was laying on his side, facing Kayley. Most of the time, she was pressed up against him and his arm was holding her in place.

She couldn’t wait to give him his gifts today. His parents and her parents were coming over, and this would be the first time they ever met each other, which would normally make her nervous but she knew they would love each other. Lindsay and Paul were stopping by later as well.

Listening on the baby monitor, she didn’t hear Alexis stirring at all. She slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Ben. The poor man had been working crazy hours the last couple weeks, and she knew he was totally exhausted, though he never complained. Watching him do what he loved was so rewarding, especially when he got recognized for it. He had been getting a lot of praise from his Chief over the last months, and had been told unofficially that his name was being thrown around for a promotion.

Shutting the bathroom door quietly, she turned the shower on, happy to be alone with her thoughts for a couple of minutes. She couldn’t wait to see Alexis’ reaction to all of her gifts. They had gone a little crazy, mostly because her new Daddy couldn’t stop throwing things in the cart when they went shopping.

Running her head under the water, she remembered walking through Toys R Us with Ben, who wanted to buy everything in the store.

“Look at this,” Ben said, holding up a princess dress up outfit. “Princess needs an outfit.” He scanned the selections. “Or all of them.” He threw them all in the cart, along with the matching accessories and tiaras. Walking two steps, he saw a dress up doll with several outfits to buy. Those went in, too.

“Ben,” Kayley warned. He shot her a look, then grinned.

“This is my baby girl’s first Christmas. Well, my first Christmas with her,” he said. “She’s getting it
all,
baby. We’re going to need a semi to take it all home.”

Kayley sighed outwardly, but inwardly felt so ridiculously giddy she almost couldn’t contain it. It was fun, even if it was unnecessary.

“A play kitchen! Oh baby, this would be so cute, right outside the kitchen? She could help you cook.” Ben took the tag for the big item and handed it to Kayley. Then he loaded the cart with food accessories.

Making their way down the girl aisles, Ben finally started slowing down. When they got to the book section, he spotted a book about a Daddy and his Princess. He picked it up and held it up to Kayley.

“Look! It was made just for me!” He opened the cover and started thumbing through it, reading parts to Kayley.

Seeing the cover of the book, Ben reading it to her, and his reaction to it made Kayley instantly tear up. She felt like an emotional disaster how much this man could make her cry. Ben looked over at her and saw her tears.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he murmured, kissing her. “No tears, remember? You still wear the necklace.” He fingered her necklace, reminding her.

“Happy,” she answered. “When you picked up that book, it just made me so overwhelmed, I couldn’t stop it. I mean, you’ve been calling her Princess forever, and she has called you Daddy for so long now, but somehow, seeing it in print like that, it makes me so thankful for you, Ben.”

He pulled her into his arms for a hug, and kissed the top of her head. “She’s mine, and so are you. Now let’s get this book and get out of here before I buy anything else.” He looked over at the cart and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Guess if Princess gets all this, I better be really, really good to you, huh.”

“I have no doubts about you, babe. You’re the most romantic guy on this planet.”

“Ready for some company?” Ben’s voice broke in from behind her. She jumped, her hand on her heart.

“Ben!” Kayley laughed, spitting water from her mouth. “You scared me to death!” She stood up on her toes and kissed him. “Good Morning. Merry First Christmas.”

Ben wrapped her in his arms, and she relished in the feel of the man she loved pressed against her. “Merry Christmas, Kayley. Never in my life have I had a Christmas better than this one. I love you.”

“But Christmas just started,” she teased. “How can it be the best ever?”

“Because I slept next to you last night, and the night before that, and the night before that. And, because this is the first Christmas out of a lifetime of Christmases we’ll have.”

Ben pushed her back against the wall, the water streaming down them. “I’m going to show you the first part of your present right now.”

“Alexis,” Kayley murmured.

“I put the baby monitor on the counter over there,” Ben pointed over his shoulder without looking. “And I checked on her before I came in here. Sleeping soundly.” Kayley nodded, loving that he thought of things before she did, and allowed him to welcome in her Christmas Day in the best way she could imagine.

Once Alexis had woken up, it had been a whirlwind of present opening. She screamed and clapped her hands at every single present, and then hugged Kayley and Ben each time. When she had opened her little kitchen, she jumped up and down, yelling, “I cook Mommy, I cook!”

You could say she was thankful for her presents. They had left one present for last, the “Santa” present. “Are you ready, Lex? This one is from Santa!”

“My baby doll?” Alexis asked, remembering what she had told the big guy. Kayley laughed. There was no getting anything by this one. Alexis ripped it open with help from Kayley, and screamed again. Ben was getting this all on video. “My baby doll! Is so pwetty! Fank you Santa, Fank you!” She pulled the baby doll out, hugging it to her chest and closing her eyes.

Kayley put her hand over her mouth, giggling. This little girl was too much. Ben winked at her from behind the camera. Even though he had been completely ridiculous about the number of things he bought her, she had loved every single one of them.

Putting down the camera, Ben walked to the Christmas tree and pulled out a box. “This is for you.” He sat down next to her. Alexis would be busy for many, many hours. She was surrounded by her toys, picking them up and studying them one by one.

Kayley opened the box and smiled at Ben. It was new running clothes and new running shoes, and most of them were pink, and of course, contained several pairs of small shorts. “Are these for me, or you?”

Ben smirked. “Well, for you, but I get the pleasure of seeing you in them when we run.”

She rolled her eyes and then grabbed a box from under the tree for him. She handed it to him, and he grinned like a little boy. In the box was a beautiful Bulova men’s watch. It was stainless steel with Swarovski elements around the dial. When Kayley had first saw it, she knew it was perfect.

“Wow,” Ben breathed. “This is beautiful! I love it, Kay. Thank you.”

“Turn it over,” she said. Looking behind the face of the watch, he read aloud. “‘Ben,
You made me want to live again. Love, Kayley.’
This is amazing, baby. You made me live again, too. I never knew I was dead until I met you.” He grabbed her, kissing her deeply.

Pulling away reluctantly, Ben reached over and grabbed another box. Opening it, she gasped at the beautiful picture in the photo. Emily had snapped photos of them at the Christmas party in a faux photo shoot she was doing for all of the families. They were in front of the Christmas tree. Ben was holding Alexis, and had his arm around Kayley’s waist. Alexis was grinning, probably at something Ben said to her, and the three of them looked like they just won a million dollars.
Better than that
, she thought. He had it framed in custom frame, and it was breathtaking.

“Another family photo to add to our collection,” she smiled. “Thank you, Ben. It’s gorgeous.”

After opening several more small things from each other, including cologne, books, and a fun adults-only game, they had only one gift left, and they both saved it for last.

“Ladies first,” Ben said, handing her a small box. Every time he did something like this it put her stomach a flutter, but if this was the time, she was ready.

Opening it, she gasped as she saw the Tiffany blue pouch. Inside was a beautiful infinity bracelet. Ben reached over and unclasped it, putting it on her small wrist. “This, my love, is for you to remember. My love is never ending. It will last for infinity. I plan on spending my life showing you that.”