Living Again (36 page)

“What are you doing here,” he said with disgust, not even looking at her.

Dana scoffed. “God, Ben, really? Couldn’t you act like, I don’t know, friendly? I’m here for the same damn conference you’re here for.” The bartender approached and she ordered a Malibu and Diet Coke.

“Dana,” Ben tried to even his voice. “I’ve had a
really, really
shitty few days. So, if you don’t mind, I would like to sit here by myself and drink until I can barely make it to my room.”

Her slender eyebrows went up. “Wow. I’ve never seen you like this. What’s going on?”

Ben downed the other drink in one gulp, then turned to her. “None of your damn business.”

Dana laughed, sipping her drink. “Uh oh. Sounds like trouble in paradise. Things with Kayley on the rocks?”

Ben wasn’t a dick; he really wasn’t. But he had no patience for this right now. “Do
not
say her name. You don’t get to talk about her. Not after the stunt you pulled. Nice try, by the way. I didn’t think you were the conniving type.”

Dana blinked her heavily made-up eyes at him. “Why Ben, whatever are you talking about?”

He signaled for another drink, feeling fuzzy and liking that it was suppressing the hurt that was in every cell of his body. “You know what the hell I’m talking about. You trying to scare Kayley away from me that day that she came to the hospital. Did you really think that if it worked, I would come running to you? Come
on,
Dana. Have more respect for yourself than that.”

Dana stirred her drink, then looked at him. “Screw you, Ben. I wasn’t the only one playing games.”

Ben ignored the comment, not wanting to get into it with another woman. The bartender set down his drink and he sipped this one.

“I’m sorry, Ben. It was screwed up of me. I get that. I was jealous and acted horribly.”

Ben looked at her briefly, and she smiled. He had been attracted to that smile once. Now all he saw when he looked at her was how different she was from Kayley. At the thought of her name, he felt like he had been punched in the gut and the breath had been knocked out of him. He waved off her apology. “Whatever. It’s over. Thanks.” He downed the third drink, knowing he should stop but not wanting to.

He stood up, swaying slightly as he gripped the back of the barstool. “I’ll be right back,” he told the bartender so he wouldn’t close out his tab. He made his way for the restroom across the bar, hoping that when he returned she would’ve disappeared into the night.

Dana sipped her drink, knowing this was her opportunity. Ben was clearly upset about something major, and was drinking heavily. This was a perfect recipe for her to get him where she wanted him- in her bed again. Noticing his cell phone on the bar next to her, she got an idea. Smiling slowly, she looked around to make sure Ben wasn’t coming back yet.

She slid his cell phone over to her and pressed the screen. The home screen popped up without a password. “Yesssss,” she celebrated. Going to contacts, she scrolled until she found Kayley’s name. Taking out her own phone, she quickly typed in the contact information. This would be perfect to send his little girlfriend pictures of them in compromising positions. Looking back again to see if he was coming, she scrolled through his pictures. He had countless pictures of what must be Kayley’s daughter, many of Kayley and the little girl, and some of them all together.
Please,
she thought.
He doesn’t want to be an insta-daddy.
Seeing the voicemail icon, she pressed the screen, noticing there were several messages from Kayley. She pressed one, putting the phone to her ear. “
Ben! It’s-it’s not what you think, babe. Please. Call me back, Ben. Please. I love you!”

Oh yeah. There was trouble in paradise. Dana was going to just have to make sure that the trouble continued.

Ben made his way back to the bar, disappointed to see that Dana was still sitting there. He slid into the stool, signaling for another drink.

“Should you be drinking that much?” Dana asked.

Ben narrowed his eyes at her. “Last time I checked, I’m a grown adult, and I’m not driving anywhere.”

Another drink appeared before him, and he turned his attention to the screen. He didn’t want to talk to Dana anymore. He had half a mind to leave and go back upstairs where she couldn’t get to him. But, he wanted to drink, so here he was.

A commercial came on with a blonde haired mom and her small daughter. It was for toddler food or something. Ben’s eyes filled with tears without warning. She was nowhere as beautiful as Kayley, but she resembled her. God, he missed her. He wished he could rewind back a couple days and have her do the entire scene with Alex’s friend differently. He should’ve been there with her, meeting this guy. Alexis should’ve sat on his lap, munching her snacks and calling him Daddy. The asshole would’ve never kissed her.

A few drinks later, and Ben knew. He had to go. He was done here. Someone would have to carry him before too long, and he wasn’t going to embarrass himself in that way. He signaled the bartender. “Close my tab, please.”

As he signed the receipt, he felt a hand traveling up his leg, and hot breath in his ear. “Ben,” Dana purred, moving her hand even higher. “Why don’t you let me help you upstairs.” He closed his eyes, wishing to hell that Kayley was running her hand up his leg.
You kicked her out, you asshole,
he thought.
You pushed her away. You didn’t believe her.

Ben’s eyes flew open and he stopped Dana’s hand before she got where she was going. “No,” he said firmly, getting up. “Not now, not ever. No matter how drunk I am, I won’t be that guy. No way.”

With that, he stood up, leaving Dana at the bar, her face twisted into a furious rage. Making his way back to his hotel room, he flung himself on his bed, clothes and all, and passed out.

“Have a good day, babe! I love you!” Kayley got in the car, strapping Alexis in her car seat. She waved goodbye to him, blowing him a kiss as he stood on the porch, watching them leave. Alexis waved her baby hand, yelling bye bye. His heart constricted as he watched the two loves of his life pull out down the road.

As he watched, they reached the intersection and stopped at the four way stop. It was Kayley’s turn to go. As she started pulling forward, Ben caught a flash of silver coming from the other direction. The car was going too fast, there was no way it would stop.

“KAYLEY!” he screamed, running from the porch. The car smashed into Kayley’s driver side, spinning her car around in circles. He pushed harder, trying to get there. “No, no, no, no, no.”

Reaching the car, glass was everywhere. Alexis screamed in the backseat. “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” Ben soothed, yanking on the driver door. It wouldn’t budge. Running around to the other side, he flung open the passenger door. Kayley was slumped against the seat, the airbag still smoking. Blood trickled down her head and her eyes were closed.

Scrambling into the car, he checked her quickly to see if she could be moved. Feeling for a pulse, he felt a weak one. He pulled her to him, trying to figure out where the blood was coming from. Alexis still screamed in the backseat. He turned to her, trying to soothe her but knowing he couldn’t leave Kayley. She took a gasp of air and then stopped, and he turned, wide eyed, to her body. Feeling her neck, he knew. There was no pulse.

“Kayley! Wake up! I’m sorry, Kayley! Please! Don’t leave me here like this! KAYLEYYYYY!”

Ben sat straight up in bed, sweat covering his shirt he had fallen asleep in. His heart pounded and tears coursed down his cheeks.
It was a dream
. Standing up, he paced the floor in his small hotel room, looking out at the cars still zooming around below. Losing her in the dream had been the worst nightmare he could’ve ever imagined.
Listen to yourself, jackass,
he thought.
Can you stand the thought of losing her forever?
Shedding his clothes, Ben walked to the bathroom to wash his face and shower, unable to stop himself from shaking from his dream.

The next morning, Ben hated himself a lot for the many drinks he had, especially since he had to be up very, very early to make it to the opening rally for the conference and the nightmare he had had didn’t help him fall back asleep easily. Thank God he wasn’t speaking. He instinctively picked up his phone. Kayley had stopped trying to reach him. Emily too. Even Cam had stopped. He traced the outline of her face again, wishing things could be different. As much as his heart screamed that he should make things right, his head stopped him and told him to remember last time.

When the day was finally over, a group of doctors were headed out to dinner and to walk around NYC, so he joined them. He couldn’t bear to be in that room by himself, and he certainly wasn’t spending the night in the bar again. He might as well try his hardest to make the time in New York go quickly. As he walked out of the hotel with the other doctors, a voice called his name.

“Ben! Ben Nichols!” He turned, and the face that he saw made his stomach roll. Dread spread over him like wildfire.
No way
.
This week must go down in history as the worst week ever.
Standing there, in all her beautiful glory, was Zoey. As he stared at her, open mouthed, he remembered that she lived here. He hadn’t laid eyes on her since the day he found her in Atlanta, shacking up with that guy.

She walked up to him, smiling like they were long lost friends. He waved the other doctors on, telling him he would meet them at the restaurant. Looking at her made him think of the other most painful day in his life. He never thought he would see her again, and here she was to further ruin his week. His eyes took in her tall, lithe figure with her long brown hair, green eyes, and killer smile. As beautiful as she was, hell she was drop dead gorgeous, his stomach only turned looking at her. She was a stranger to him, in all ways. Zoey Peterson knew exactly what kind of power she had over a man. She was one of the smartest people he had ever met, and witty and charismatic to boot. Obviously, though, that didn’t stop her from also being a cheating, conniving bitch.

“Zoey,” Ben bit out, crossing his arms in front of his chest.