Lifesong (5 page)

* * * *

Emma

Tucker’s body shuddered beneath me by the time I’d emptied my mind. At first, all I saw was black, then colour. A lone, grey wolf stood at the base of a great tree, her form accompanied by a young man. The two forms sang words I couldn’t understand, a mournful melody stretching across the landscape. And as they sang, the Earth began to mend.

The wolf and the man—who looked almost identical to Tucker—swayed from side to side, their voices growing stronger as the moments slipped by. And then, Tucker’s form was gone.

The song ended shortly after, the grey wolf’s pelt turning a light brown. The wolf continued to sing, but he sang with a single voice. I knelt a few yards away from him, a heavy weight pressing against my chest, and pain—so much damned pain I could barely see.

I opened my eyes, and the images were gone.

* * * *

Tucker

Emma stirred in my arms, and I tilted my head back, my memories breaking away from her. Gods, I shouldn’t have shown her. The memories weren’t meant for her, but I’d done it anyway.

Emma pressed a hand to one of my cheeks, her eyes full of worry. “What happened?”

I blinked. “Didn’t you see it?”

“I-I did, but I want to hear you say it. I can’t believe it if you don’t say the words.”

“I became the wolf, and she…” I couldn’t say anything else. My throat tightened anytime I tried to speak.

“I don’t think she’s gone,” Emma said, curling back up in my lap. “You remember her, which means there’s still some of her left.”

“Emma…”

“You left me, and I could’ve thought you were gone, but I still remembered you. I remembered what you told me, and I waited for you. Maybe she’s waiting for you, too.”

I hugged her against my chest, breathing in her hair and the sweet shampoo she’d used earlier. I knew what really happened, but I let her hold on to her dreams. It was all I could do to keep from going back to that place. I was hers now, and until I fell into the Earth, I’d remain at her side.

Chapter Six

Tucker

I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts were too scattered. After tucking Emma into her side of the bed, I made my way into the bathroom. I leant forward until my nose touched the mirror. My eyes were dilated, my flesh paler than usual as I emptied my mind, preparing to shift.

I gripped the edge of the sink. It wasn’t as if I had to go through my bones breaking or my skin stretching into new shapes—it was just the nerves that went along with it. I hadn’t lied earlier when I’d told Emma werewolves were a myth.

Changing from one form to another as a guardian was more ethereal than most might’ve believed—releasing one form of energy to make room for another. But even without pain, it always made me sick to my stomach. With Emma in the other room, I emptied my mind, sucking in a breath before letting it out in again.

I changed shape, my body lowering onto all fours. It usually didn’t take me this long—the transformation was second nature to me. But thoughts of Emma and what we could do in the same bed had distracted me, making it impossible to shift in front of her.

After breathing in my new skin, I sauntered into the bedroom and hopped up onto the bed. I curled up near one of the pillows, keeping as close to my side of the bed as I could.

Emma moaned behind me, nuzzling my ruff with her nose as she draped an arm over my side. She breathed into my fur, and her breathing slowed until finally, she slept.

Feeling terribly alone, I let my thoughts wander, holding me prisoner as I looked back on the day’s events. I loved her, I’d known that before bringing her home with me, but it hadn’t been supposed to happen. I’d promised I’d never let myself go to that place again, to feel so vulnerable.

But I was there, and I began to wonder if the love I felt for Emma could compare to the first time I’d fallen in love.
It has to.
It had been enough for Ika, my guardian, which meant there had to be a way for me to achieve that kind of love again.

Still, the love I had for Emma was new to me. I’d always wanted to protect her and to accompany her, but that wasn’t the same as love, was it? And what about Emma? She’d fallen in love with my memory. Was that the same kind of love?

The other guardians began to howl outside, and I was thankful for the interruption. They sang to me, inviting me to join them. A low growl rumbled in my chest, hitting my tongue before it made any sound.

I rolled over to check on Emma. Her eyes were open, her body frozen as she listened to their cries.

“I thought you said they couldn’t sing,” she whispered, her eyes searching the room.

I licked her face, then rested my muzzle under her chin as she wrapped her arms around me, her fingers buried in my mane. “They can, but like me, they don’t know the words.”

“Will you learn them?”

“With your help.” I closed my eyes as a form of acknowledgement, and nodded so she could feel it. “Sleep now. The others cannot get inside.”

Emma squeezed me again before holding her arms to her chest. Once she’d settled, I curled against the ball of her stomach, my eyes on the door to our room.

As the sky turned from pinks and oranges to the blue of day, sleep stole me away.

* * * *

I woke what felt like hours later to find the bed empty and Emma’s scent nearly gone. Certain not that much time had passed, I stirred under the blankets, surprised to find myself naked and in human form, which explained the faintness of her scent.

“Oh, you’re up,” Emma called from the doorway, smiling at me. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

Bleary-eyed, I rubbed at my face until the fog cleared from my vision. “What time is it?” Emma must’ve drawn the blinds closed after she’d got up. The room was too dark for me to even guess what time of day it was.

“Morning.” Emma tiptoed to one of the windows, opening the blinds halfway. Her eyes were gentle when she looked back at me. “Don’t worry, you didn’t miss much.”

I sat up in the middle of the bed, piling the blankets in my lap to hide a rather embarrassing erection. I cleared my throat as heat brushed my cheeks. “You mind waiting outside?”

Emma frowned and canted her head to one side. “Oh, that?” She laughed. “You’ve been like that for most of the morning. But if you insist.” She shrugged and left the room. “Breakfast is waiting for you when you’re ready.”

I took a handful of unsteady breaths, thankful when Emma headed back down the hall. Throwing the sheets from my legs, I waited for the cool air to kiss my skin. It didn’t help. Each time I gained some form of control, random thoughts would pop into my head, most involving Emma and the way she’d looked at me.

Then there was the pack, my responsibility to it along with Emma. No one had ever said this was going to be easy. I just hadn’t expected it to be
so
hard.

After pushing myself off the bed, I pulled on a grey tee along with a pair of tight-fitting jeans, refusing to adjust myself until my sex drive calmed down. It was bad enough Emma had noticed my predicament while I was asleep, but that didn’t mean I was ready for her to drop her fork and notice it under the kitchen table.

My stomach groaned as soon as I stepped into the hall. Emma was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps.

“I was about to come up and get you,” Emma said, twirling a finger through my hair. “Is everything all right?”

I licked my lips. “Just be glad you aren’t a guy.”

“Hey, guys aren’t the only ones who have that problem, you know.”

“No, but at least you can still get your clothes on.”

Emma smirked, her eyes darting to my groin. “There’s a cure for that.”

“Mmm.” I hugged her to my chest and kissed her on the lips. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“Who says I’m teasing?”

Emma wore the same playful smile she’d used on me the night before, only this time I was planning to give in to her. That was, until I picked up the scent of wolves, their territorial markings prickling against my nose. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and my hands fell away from Emma and her warm embrace.

“What is it?” she asked, craning her neck to look at me. “The wolves again?”

“Just one,” I snarled.

“Wait.” Emma held on to one of my arms. “You said they couldn’t get inside.”

“They can’t.”
Or at least, they shouldn’t be able to.

“Then why let them get to you?”

By now, I was shaking. “Because the pack—he knows the rules.”

“Zarrius?”

I looked at her, surprised. “How do you know that name?”

“You said it in your sleep. A few times actually. Is he the one that’s been—”

“Marking? Yeah. He was…he’s the pack’s alpha.”

“What does he want with you?” Emma stepped around me so she could duck into the kitchen.

I glanced back over my shoulder at the entryway before going after her.

“Sit,” Emma ordered, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table. She gave me a stern look, and for a brief moment, I could’ve sworn she was an alpha. “Your breakfast is cold.”

She sounded more hurt than she probably intended. I inclined my head. “Sorry.” I sat down at the table, and Emma perched in the chair opposite me. “I’m amazed you can do so much around the house. It’s almost as if you know where everything is.”

She’d started the fire before I’d got back in the evening, and she’d opened her mind to me as if it was something she’d done a thousand times before. Thinking back, it hadn’t been easy for me to adjust to this new lifestyle. Emma didn’t seem to mind one bit.

“What? It’s just eggs and bacon,” Emma said matter-of-factly. “It’s all that was left in the fridge—or at least all that was edible.” She shifted in her chair. “Any idea what this Zarrius guy wants from you?”

I shovelled a hearty bite of egg into my mouth, delighting in the flavour as it danced over my tongue. It didn’t matter to me if the food was cold or not. It sure beat chasing down rabbits and moles.

“It’s not me he’s after,” I said, after I’d finished my meal.

“Then he’s one of the rogue wolves you mentioned yesterday—the ones that would try to steal another guardian’s bonded for a chance at immortality,” Emma said, leaning back in her chair.

“He’s the only one—”

“And because he’s your alpha—what? You feel like you need to listen to him?”

I shrugged. “Something like that.”

“But you’re a human now, and you can shift. Doesn’t that make you a little better than him?”

“I guess.”

My shoulders slumped forward as I chased a small bit of bacon around my plate, stabbing at it with my fork. Zarrius had always been the alpha of the guardians, and for as long as I could remember, there’d been no other wolf brave enough to challenge the pack leader or to take his place.

“What do you plan to do?” Emma asked, rousing herself from the table to set my plate in the sink.

“How do you mean?” I moved over to the sink and filled the kettle with some fresh water.

“Will you go after him?” She took the kettle from me and set it on the counter.

“Go after him?”

“Isn’t that where you went yesterday?” Emma gazed out the kitchen window, her eyes scanning the trees out back.

“I was going to, but I couldn’t risk it.”

“Then what took you so long?”

“I was marking.”

Emma wrinkled her nose. “A lot of good that seems to be doing.”

She was right. I’d gone all over their territory, marking whatever I could. It wasn’t enough. Zarrius must’ve come during the night, and his scent had filtered throughout the front of the house.

“Confront him,” Emma said. “He’ll keep challenging you in this passive-aggressive sort of way, and that’ll get us nowhere. Besides, I’d rather have your thoughts on me instead of your alpha or any of the other wolves.” She smiled at that.

“I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here alone,” I admitted, investigating the trees out back, but the other wolves knew better than to come so close to the house.

“Then don’t.”

“Emma, you know I can’t. I need to be sure it’s just Zarrius and not any of the other wolves as well. I can protect you from him, but I won’t be able to protect you from the entire pack. For all we know, they’re as loyal to him as ever, even if stealing from another guardian is against our laws.”

“You won’t get anywhere just by standing here,” Emma warned, her eyes darkening at the thought of the wolves she probably imagined stalking the backyard. “Besides, I have the fire poker if they get inside.”

I winced at the imagined pain of getting stabbed in the side with a metal poker. I admired her strength. I’d shown her my tragic story and warned her of the dangers outside and she hadn’t even flinched. If she had, she’d hidden it remarkably well. Even from me.

I couldn’t believe how I’d got so lucky. And gazing at her in the morning light, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her on the lips and to touch the skin hiding beneath her thin blouse.

“You’d make a wonderful alpha,” I said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

Emma gestured to the dishes in the sink. “These won’t get done on their own, and I’m sure there are other things I can do around the house while I wait.”

“I promise I won’t be long.” After hugging her tightly, I padded to the back door, pausing to give her a final warning glance. “Lock the door once I leave, and don’t—”

“Open it for anyone,” Emma finished for me, closing the distance between us before kissing me on the forehead. “You worry too much. Just be back for lunch.”

I eyed the clock hanging on the wall near the door. It told me it was eleven-thirty. “You mean dinner.”

“Damn, thought I’d get you to stay.” Emma hooked her arms around my neck. “Don’t be too long.”

I breathed in her scent before opening the door. “I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to.”

Emma closed the door behind me, and I smiled when she turned the lock. Studying the trees around the house, I knew Zarrius would stay as far away from the dirt roads as possible. After taking a breath, I thought of my human skin, of it falling away to reveal the wolf underneath. Lowering onto four paws, I scented the air and headed west into the forest along the side of the house. I only hoped Zarrius was close enough that I didn’t have to go running after him. I’d give myself one hour. Just one. If I didn’t find him by then, I’d have no choice but to check in on Emma. And by then, he’d probably be long gone.