Lifesong (13 page)

It was close to dinner when Tucker stopped alongside my chair, hugging me under his arm. “You look exhausted. How long have you been in here?”

I hadn’t even realised Tucker and the others were home until he hugged me. I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, trying to ease the ache behind my eyes.

“What time is it?”

“Dinner should be ready soon,” Tucker replied, leaning over to pick some of my notes up off the floor. “Did you move out of this chair at all today?”

I frowned and shook my head. “I don’t remember.”

“You should take the night off. Get some rest.” He kissed me on the cheek before closing the book I had in my lap.

“If only we had the time.”

“Reading when you’re this tired might cause you to miss something. Here.” Tucker helped me to my feet, holding me steady when I wobbled. “The song should come to you on its own. Right now, all you’re doing is looking for answers that probably aren’t there.”

“He’s right, you know?” Luna’s voice called from the kitchen, the pale female gliding into the room to join us. She kissed me on the forehead, and Tucker excused himself. “The words will come when they’re ready.” She paused, pressing her cheek against the top of my head. “You sure you’re feeling okay? You’re warm.”

“Probably just tired.”

I moved over to the front window. The landscape outside was changing. The forest didn’t look nearly as healthy or as large as it did when I first got here, and the cracks I’d seen as a child were beginning to form around the house.

“We don’t have enough time,” I whimpered, burying my head against Luna’s neck. “I’ve seen those cracks before.”

Luna lifted my chin with a hand, wiping at my tears with the other. “We’ll think of something, but you’re no good to any of us like this. You haven’t eaten all day, I know. I can smell the hunger on you. And you need rest. Lots of rest.”

“I want to stay down here tonight.” I glanced over my shoulder at Tucker. “I want to stay with the pack tonight.”

“Then I will join you,” came Tucker’s voice. “Come, dinner’s ready.”

* * * *

Surrounded by seven wolves, I curled up in a circle of muzzles and paws. The warmth from the fire kissed my bare skin while the rough fur of my wolves protected me from the draught. Though I was wearing a gown for the night, I refused to cover myself up with a blanket. I wanted to be with the pack, as natural as possible. I would’ve lain there with nothing on at all, but Tucker and Luna didn’t allow it.

Now, with wolves touching every inch of my body, I closed my eyes. I thought of Luna curled against the ball of my stomach, the she-wolf’s muzzle resting just beneath my chin. And then there was Tucker, protective as ever, lying against my back, his cold nose pressed into my neck.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mind to the pack, sharing what I’d learnt from my notes during the day along with an image of the Earth crumbling beneath the house. That image alone caused many of the wolves to stir, licking me as they whimpered their support.

“It cannot get us here.” Tucker was the first to speak, his hot breath panting against my ear.

“We are the Earth’s last defence,” Luna said shortly after he’d finished. “It knows better than to chase us away.”

Their words felt full of hope—a hope I couldn’t share. The cries of the children from my childhood had somehow found their way into my dreams, forcing me to lie awake until daylight, until I knew we were safe, before falling asleep. I’d wake an hour or two later to be with the pack. I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in over a week, and the pack was beginning to notice.

Luna jumped awake against my stomach, then nuzzled me moments later. “Your thoughts are very loud tonight.”

“Oh.” I lifted my head to look around the room. The rest of the pack didn’t stir. “I’m sorry.”

Luna shook her mane and sat up. “Maybe you’ll sleep better if you talk about it?”

I nodded and glanced over my shoulder.

“Girl talk, this late at night?” Tucker teased, cracking one eye open. He yawned and moved to my spot once I got up. “I’ll keep it warm for you.”

It didn’t worry him. If anything, he’d got used to my odd sleeping habits, and I kissed him on top of his head before moving to sit in front of the fire. Luna shifted into her human form, an effect like ripples washing over her until the transformation was complete. Once she’d settled into her new skin, Luna took up the other half of the chair, pressing my head to her chest.

I curled in Luna’s lap, my head on her breasts and my arm draped across her stomach. Luna’s heart thrummed under her human skin, lulling me into a trance. She pushed back my hair, humming softly as she did.

“I keep seeing the cracks around the house,” I whispered so only Luna could hear. “The ones I thought were only from my dreams.”

“The green ones, you mean? The ones you showed me from your memories?” came Luna’s voice, sounding more tired than she probably cared to admit.

I nodded, brushing a hand across Luna’s breasts until her nipples hardened. The she-wolf squirmed beneath my touch, craning her neck so she could look into my eyes.

“And you think they’re outside the house now?” Luna asked, lifting my chin so she could kiss me on the lips.

It was my turn to squirm, and I kissed her back. She broke our kiss to check outside, likely checking for the cracks I’d mentioned, before looking back down at me. She toyed with one of the straps from my gown, leaving it to fall halfway down my arm before kissing the skin underneath. I wanted to surrender to her, to abandon my thoughts, but my fear broke through.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” I said. “What I thought was a dream before has become real, and what used to be real has now become a part of my dreams. I’m afraid my dreams will change again—”

“That your memories of what once was will return,” Luna finished for me with a bob of her head. She set her head on my other shoulder, her breath warm against my ear. “Like Tucker and I said earlier, it isn’t possible. Not here. You saw how different it was out here compared to your hometown. Nothing’s changed. The trees outside are just as tall as before, the sky just as blue. You’re weak, and you’re allowing your dreams to meld with what is real. You need sleep.”

“Will you stay?” My eyes closed, even when I fought to keep them open.

“For as long as I can.”

Chapter Eighteen

Emma

When I opened my eyes again, the fire had burnt out and the inside of the house was pitch black. Blinking into the darkness, I waited for my eyes to adjust, surprised when I found Luna still very naked and in the chair beside me. The wolves were asleep as well, their soft breaths making the night feel less empty than it actually was.

I shivered and roused myself from the chair. I kept my movements slow, careful not to wake Luna as I headed to the front window. Stepping around the wolves, I froze when I heard Tucker shift his weight, exhaling when he didn’t wake.

Looking back on my hidden stash of pills back at the ward, I almost wished I’d brought them with me. I craved them, their blue and white coating with a happy dose of tranquiliser underneath. I'd hated how numb they’d made me feel, but at least I’d slept. Something whined outside, pulling my attention away from the sleeping wolves and my being so awake. It sounded almost as if someone were whistling, followed by a very distant crash.

Glancing over my shoulder, I was surprised when none of the wolves woke up. It had been louder than thunder, and I could’ve sworn whatever it was had shaken the entire house. The sound came a second time, closer than before, and then I saw it—a tongue of lightning, green in colour, moving from the sky into the ground.

Fear clawed at me, its skeletal fingers trailing down the middle of my back. The few clouds that hung overhead burst with colour before burning out. I pressed my fingers against the windowsill and stared outside, jumping when the lightning struck again. From the green bursts of light, I could see the tree line, the vegetation darker than before—almost black. I immediately thought of the cranes back home, the wooded area where I’d found Tucker, and finally the tree he’d shown me during our first imprinting together.

The trees outside looked exactly the same. It’s here. The Earth’s rage had found its way to the guardians. My heart crashed against my ribs. I struggled to cry, to whisper a word, but nothing came out.

Turning to face the pack, I mouthed silent cries as my wolves, my beautiful family, fell into a dark hole in the floor.

Their howls pierced my mind. Fear—theirs and mine—shook me to the core. I stumbled to the stairs, clawing at the railing as the darkness pulled at me, sucking all the air from the room.

I gasped for breath, and the darkness in the room grew as green cracks snaked their way towards me. My heart stopped when a dark root sprouted from the floor, coiling around my ankle. This was how the Earth found its victims. Sing, Emma. I had to find my song, to sing and calm the Earth. My wolves were gone, my guardians. All of it, gone.

There was no sound, no breath, cold or warmth. And as the darkness grew, I fell into nothingness, my song lost to the Earth.

* * * *

Tucker

I woke up in a hurry, a series of images blinking on and off in my mind. They were of Emma, of Luna holding her and warm skin. Hot, burning skin.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, realising the fire had burned down to the last handful of embers, bathing the room in an eerie light. Someone whispered my name, forcing me from my half-asleep state. It was Luna, her voice cracking when she spoke.

“Tucker,” she called again, more urgent than before. “Emma…”

A haze covered my eyes as I got to my feet, staring in Luna’s direction. Her face was pale, almost as white as her fur. I didn’t remember getting up or walking, but in the next instant I was standing beside her.

She bowed her head, eyes focused on a very feverish Emma, who stirred in her lap. Swallowing around the nausea, I shifted as soon as I was able, ignoring Luna’s naked form along with my own.

Emma’s lips moved, her voice barely audible. “…my perch…a ridge of white…watch the sky. It fills with light.” She whimpered and then fell silent.

Luna tossed me a worried glance. “What is she saying?”

I watched Emma stir, my heart aching to wake her, but if these words were meant for us, if they were the words meant for Emma’s guardians, then we needed to hear them. I turned on my heels and headed for the front of the house, dancing around the sleeping wolves. I may have kicked one or two in the process.

When one bit at me, I said, “Move!” A series of images accompanied the order, and the wolves instinctively got up, all eyes on Emma as she struggled against her nightmare. I dropped to my knees as soon as I reached Emma’s pile of notebooks, taking one from the top. After I found a pen and had the notebook open to a clean page, I joined the others.

Emma no longer spoke, but I wrote down the words from earlier anyway. Her face twisted in pain when I looked at her.

“We need to wake her,” Luna began, her voice shaking so badly I was surprised it didn’t break. “This isn’t normal, Tucker.”

“Did that sound like lyrics to you?” I asked, ignoring the fear I heard in her voice. I finished jotting down what appeared to be the verse from a song.

Luna’s eyes were empty. “So what if they were? She has a fever! She cannot stay like this.”

Emma’s lips didn’t move, and they didn’t have to. The lyrics could wait. I tossed the notebook to the floor and took Emma’s lifeless body in my arms, her dead weight forcing Luna’s fear to bubble up to my chest. Beads of sweat covered Emma’s body, her skin fluttering beneath my touch. She was burning hot. Too hot to have been sitting in front of the fire and too hot for any fever I’d seen.

“Emma.” Her name came out in a garbled mess. “Emma, wake up.”

I wanted to shake her, to thrust her from whatever hell she faced, but Luna’s wide eyes stopped me. I took a breath. My nerves shook, and I closed my eyes, shutting myself off from the others before opening them again. Nothing had changed. If Emma was having another one of her nightmares, we were in it.

The other wolves backed away when I approached them, and when Luna got up to follow me, I didn’t stop her.

“Go in front of me and get the lights on,” I ordered, stepping aside once we reached the bottom of the stairs so Luna could get by. I inclined my head to the other wolves, the entire pack staring at me from the hallway. I turned my attention to the other guardians. “Stay down here. If we learn anything, one of us will come and get you.”

The wolves cowered, bowing their heads just long enough for me to see them before I thundered up the steps. By the time I reached the bedroom, Luna had turned on all of the lights, including the ones in the bathroom.

“We need to cool her down,” Luna said as she turned on the faucet inside the tub.

I glanced down at Emma, who hadn’t moved since I’d taken her from Luna’s arms. Beads of sweat covered her brow, and her eyes moved under her eyelids so fast it was hard to tell that they were moving at all. I bowed my head and considered touching foreheads with her, to see into her dreams, but a touch on my shoulder stopped me.

Luna shook her head. “I need you upright,” she explained. “Here, stand her up a moment.”

I did as she asked, holding Emma up so the she-wolf could remove her nightgown. I frowned as I inspected Emma’s body, most of her skin flushed with fever. The only other time she’d seemed so discoloured was after she’d taken a hot shower.

“I thought humans got pale when they had a fever.”

Luna shrugged and stepped to the side so I could put Emma in the tub.

The water was lukewarm against my fingertips, and as I supported Emma’s head with one of my hands, I glanced back at Luna. “She doesn’t smell sick to me. Can you smell anything?”

Luna shook her head. “She felt feverish before dinner. I mentioned it to her, but she dismissed it. After she’d eaten, she seemed better. I just figured it was because she hadn’t eaten all day.”