Life After Taylah (25 page)

“Nothin’,” Nate growls.

I take a step back and Nate’s hand drops from my neck. I have to leave. I have to go.

“That’s the second race you’ve fucked up,” the man barks. “It’s not good enough.”

“You think I don’t fuckin’ know that?” Nate roars.

“Then try harder.”

Another step. Then another.

“Get your shit together, Nate,” he snarls. “Or you’ll have no fuckin’ career.”

He turns and walks off, and Nate spins around, driving his fist into the side of the truck again. I want to run, but seeing him pounding the hard metal, causing more blood to appear on his knuckles, has everything in me aching. I can’t leave him like this. I rush forward when his fist rears back, and I curl my fingers around his arm. He flinches and looks down at me, his eyes wild, his body heaving with each ragged breath he takes.

“Stop. You’re scaring me,” I whisper.

“Scaring you?” he barks, spinning around and lifting my tiny body off the ground before slamming me against the truck. “Scaring you? I wish to fucking God I scared you, Avery. Because then maybe you wouldn’t look at me with that kind of fuckin’ love in your eyes. The kind of love I can’t get out of my head.”

My lower lip trembles as I look up at him, terrified, broken, and desperate.

“L-l-let me go, Nate,” I say, my voice small and trembling.

“So you can run? So you can pretend seeing me hasn’t fucked you as much as it has me?”

“Just let me go,” I cry, squirming. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to . . .”

“Liar,” he roars. “Don’t you lie to me, Avery. You want this as much as I do; you always did. Admit it. Admit it fuckin’ burns.”

“It does burn,” I scream, squirming harder. “I can’t survive without you, but you gave me no choice. You fucking promised me, and you gave me no choice. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to breathe without you. I just want you, because I fucking love you. I know how much it burns.”

Suddenly, his lips are on mine. I don’t even see it coming. His tongue is brutal as he parts my mouth, and I can’t even begin to fight him away. I don’t want to. I need him, every large, muscled, perfect inch of him. His fingers tangle in my hair and he jerks my head back, deepening the kiss. It’s so hard, so raw, so desperate that I taste blood in my mouth. God. Yes.

Everything moves so fast, so fast I don’t have time to stop and think about it. His hands are on my backside, pressing me against the side of the truck, and then he’s yanking my dress up. He tears my panties clean off, tossing them on the ground before reaching down between us and jerking his jeans down. Then he’s inside me, deep and hard with no warning.

I cry out, clutching his arms.

He pulls out and drives back in, fucking me hard and fast. He’s grunting against my mouth, his fingers are biting into the flesh on my ass and my pussy is convulsing around him. He fucks me like this is our last day on earth, as if he’ll never see me again. Maybe he won’t. Maybe that’s reality. I cry out his name when he tilts my hips, driving in so deep it almost hurts. But he finds that spot—that amazing, sensitive spot.

“Oh God,” I cry. “Nate.”

He growls against my neck as I begin to come around him, my orgasm ripping through me like a hurricane, sending me over the edge. I don’t care who hears or who sees—I let myself go, I let every feeling in. He follows soon after, growling his release into my mouth as he slams his lips over mine again. His cock jerks as he empties himself into my aching flesh.

Then I’m on the ground and he’s pulling out, taking a few steps backwards and running his hands through his hair. I can see regret and my heart tears apart all over again. “Fuck,” he roars, jerking his jeans up. “Fuck.”

“Nate, I . . .” I whisper.

He spins and glares at me, so angry, so wild, that I flinch. Why is he mad at me? He kissed me. I coil backwards and my entire body shakes as I see that all too familiar regret in his eyes.

“Don’t you ever, ever fuckin’ come near me again. Do you hear me, Avery? Leave. Leave me the fuck alone.”

His words are like a slap to the face. I watch, my entire body numb as he disappears, leaving me alone. I slowly crumble to my knees, my fingers running through the fresh dirt on the ground as I break. I finally break. I scream his name, clawing at the ground, desperate and pathetic. Alone and used.

He said he I wasn’t a toy—he was wrong.

That’s all I am.

~*~*~*~

W
hat have I done? What have I fuckin’ done?

I fucked her and then I watched as I ripped her heart out a second time.

I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her.

I don’t deserve anything.

“I
can do this,” I say to Maggie and Lyn, as I walk through the halls to the dressing room.

“Avery, you don’t have to. The girls can do it without you.”

“I’ve practiced,” I protest, though my voice is emotionless. “I’m helping them with this concert.”

Both women look at each other, then back to me. They nod but I can see both don’t want me on that stage. The girls need me, though; it’s their end-of-year concert, and they’ve been excited about this. I’m the main dancer in their set, and if I don’t join in they will be let down. I won’t let them down.

“Avery!” they cry when I step out into the back dressing room.

“Who’s ready?” I say, putting on my best fake smile.

“Yeah!”

I run through the routine with them once more before making sure they’re all dressed, their hair is done and they’re ready to go. When the concert starts, I prepare myself to go on stage. I’ll be doing an introduction dance and then they will join me. The moment my name is called, I take a deep breath and step out. I can see Kelly and Liam in the crowd, and my heart warms that they’ve come to watch me.

I move across the stage, doing the routine we practiced. I dance and twist, gliding as best I can. When the girls join me, I smile as they perform beautifully. Moms and dads cheer, and people clap when the girls do amazing little moves. I beam with pride, knowing I taught them that. I glide off the stage when it comes to my best ten-year-old’s solo. I catch a glimpse of Max before I go, talking closely with Liam. He must have just arrived.

I wonder what they’re talking about? Max is glancing down at his phone, then back to Liam. Then I hear the shrill sound of it ringing before he takes the call. I can’t focus too much more, because I really have to make sure this concert ends smoothly. Max disappears mid way through my performance, and my heart sinks a little.

By the time it’s my turn to close the concert, Liam is gone – only Kelly remains. My heart kicks up a notch as I try desperately to pay attention to my dancing. I’m mid-way through my performance when Max returns, without Liam. He stares up at me, and I watch him as I lean down and then jump. It’s in that moment I see his face, really see his face and I know . . . instantly I know. He has that look, the look people have when they’re about to tell you someone is dead.

I crumble on the stage, my legs giving way beneath me.

I land harshly, and the crowd goes silent. I lift my eyes and stare at Max again, and I see the exact moment a tear rolls down his cheek. Suddenly I can’t hear anything but white noise. My vision blurs as I feel arms wrapping around me and lifting me. I’m dragged off the stage and pulled out the back, but I’m still staring at nothing.

“Avery,” Maggie cries, slapping my cheeks.

Why did he look like that?

“Avery?” Lyn demands. “Look at me.”

Why is he crying?

“Avery!”

Why did Liam run?

I force myself to my feet almost robotically as I move towards the exit. I hear Lyn and Maggie’s cries but I don’t stop. I push through the backdoor and step out into the cold, my outfit barely covering enough to protect me from the weather. I round a corner and see Max and Kelly rushing towards me. Kelly’s face, oh his face, it’s telling me everything I need to know before I even get to him.

Something bad has happened. No, not just something bad, something horrible. Something life-changing. I stop in front of them and I lift my eyes to Max, still feeling nothing.

“Avery,” he rasps, “tell me you’re okay?”

“Why were you crying?”

Is that my voice, that monotone, empty sound?

“Avery . . .”

“Tell me why you were crying?”

“Max, not here; not now,” Kelly pleads. “Look at her, she’s not even there.”

“Tell me!” I scream, shoving Max’s chest. “Tell me.”

Max looks desperately to Kelly, who sighs and wraps his arms around me. Why is he holding me? Why is he telling Max not to tell me?

“Avery, honey,” Max begins, “I got some news tonight about your mother.”

My head begins to spin and my knees wobble. Now I know why Kelly is holding me. He’s holding me because he knows I’ll fall.

“You remember,” Max whispers, his voice broken, “how I told you she was having an affair? It turns out she wasn’t as secretive as she thought. That particular day she went out, she was followed. When she left, that person followed her and when she realized, she pulled over and got out of the car. She . . . recognized the car.”

Was it his wife? Oh God. Did she find out about the affair? Did she kill my mother?

“Avery, baby, the person who pulled over and followed her was your father.”

What?
What?

“We questioned him a week or so ago, but he gave us nothing. He denied stopping. We finally gathered enough evidence and tonight we arrested him. He confessed everything, Avery. He told us that . . . he killed Taylah.”

My knees go and not even Kelly is enough to hold me up. His body crashes down with mine. I scream, I scream so loudly my ears burn and begin to ring. My mind crashes closed and my entire world begins going black as grief, shock and heartache rip through my body. I hear voices but I can’t make out any words. All I can hear is the last three things he said to me: “He killed Taylah.”

Then I am swallowed into darkness.

~*~*~*~

H
e was suspicious.

He followed her.

He got angry and he strangled her.

She died.

He buried her body and left her car.

His DNA not suspicious at the scene, because it was all through her car. Of course it was; he rode in it all the time.

This information swims in my mind as I sit in the police station hours after the news of my mother’s death was broken to me. I haven’t shed a tear, not a single tear. My entire body is numb. I feel no emotion. I’m completely broken. When the officer comes out and tells me I can see my father, I stand on trembling legs and I follow him down the halls.

The minute I reach my father’s cell, the officer turns and mutters, “Five minutes.”

I stare at my dad, his head between his legs, hair disheveled, and his body shaking. He should shake. He should shake for every breath he took from her body. I step forward and I slam my hand against the cell, causing him to look up. His eyes are bloodshot, red, and frantic. He leaps up and rushes forward. “Avery,” he cries. “I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”

“An accident?” I say, my voice so empty it scares me. “It was an accident that you put your hands around her neck and took her life?”

“She was having an affair!” he yells, gripping his head. “I worked so hard, gave her everything, and she was having an affair. She didn’t care about me . . . about you or Liam. She only cared about that man.”

“So you killed her.”

Empty. Emotionless.

“I didn’t mean to take it that far, I was just so angry. When I realized what I was doing it was too late. I only meant to scare her.”

Scare her.

“She was beautiful, perfect and amazing,” I say, my voice a low hiss. “Her life was not yours to take.”

“Please, Avery. Please don’t hate me.”

I look up at him and I know my eyes are cold. “Hate doesn’t even cover what I feel for you, Father. What I feel goes so much deeper. It burns in my soul so much more furiously. I hope you rot in hell. I hope you pay every day for the rest of your pathetic, lonely life. You are nothing to me. You are no longer my father.”

I turn and walk away. There is nothing else to say. Nothing else to hear.

“Avery!” he screams, shaking the bars.

There is no turning back.

“W
hy can’t I come with you?” I say, narrowing my eyes.

“It’s easier if I go alone,” she says, crossing her arms and rubbing them, darting her eyes away.

“You are seeing your doctor about a sickness. I am your husband; I don’t understand why I shouldn’t come.”

“Nate,” she whispers, “I just want to go alone.”

“But why?” I bark.

“Just drop it, okay? It’s hard enough dealing with this as it is without you breathing down my throat.”

My phone rings beside me, and it takes everything for me to drop this conversation with Lena. Something doesn’t feel right to me, but she’s not giving me the chance to figure out what that is.

“This isn’t finished. Go, but know that I am coming next time.”

She quickly nods and turns, rushing out the door. I answer my phone, pressing it to my ear.

“What?”

“Is this Nate?”

I narrow my eyes. “That you, Max?”

He sighs deeply. “It’s me.”

“And you’re ringing me because?”

“Nate, something happened tonight. I know I shouldn’t talk to you or call you but . . . fuck . . . she won’t let anyone else in. I know that.”

My heart clenches. “What’s goin’ on, Max?”

“Avery’s father was arrested tonight, because he confessed to the murder of her mother.”

My entire world stops spinning as I rasp, “What?”

“She’s gone home, but she won’t answer calls, won’t answer the door. I’m worried sick, Nate. She didn’t even cry. She’s completely dead. I’m terrified. I can’t find Liam, but I’ve got Kelly onto that. I need—I need to know she’s okay.”

“I’ll go around now,” I say, already heading towards the front door.

“Thank you,” he whispers, hanging up.

I call out to Macy and we rush out together. Lena is gone, so I drop her off to a close friend while I go and check on Avery. I put my foot down the entire way to Avery’s apartment. I skid into the driveway and turn the car off, leaping out and rushing towards the front door. I pound on it, over and over, but there’s no answer. I look up and see the bathroom light is on. She’s here. I go to the front window and I lift my foot, putting it straight through the glass she only had replaced a few weeks ago.