Letting go of Grace (28 page)

“I didn’t mean to,” I whisper.

“I think I’ll cook and bake today. It calms me. I might have to run to the store to grab a few things.”

“Check the kitchen, I had it stocked. You shouldn’t be going anywhere. If you need anything, make a list and I’ll send someone out,” he adds, while turning to me. He takes my face in his hands and stops me. He looks into my eyes for a long moment before he kisses me. It’s a slow kiss. The kind of kiss that speaks louder than words, but the damage has already been done. He opens his legs so I’m standing between them, as he stares at me with a painful look of regret. I can feel the pain rolling off of him and my nurturing side wants to take it all away for him. I would take everything for him. I don’t like seeing anyone in pain. I don’t want him hurting anymore. I don’t want him living in fear over his family. I get up, and straddle his lap. Slowly wrapping my hands around his neck, I pull him tight to me. His hands find their way to my lower back. I feel his fingers pressing firmly into me. Then one hand trails up my back and into my hair. He gathers my hair in his hands and he pulls it gently till I pull away from his lips.

“I love you,” he says against my lips.

I kiss him again because I can’t bring myself to say the words back to him. I want to tell him this is goodbye, but the way he is passionately kissing me back stops me. I want to tell him that my inability to make my own decisions coupled with his strong demeanor confused me into thinking I loved him. That I need him to be brave. I wanted to cleanse myself with the truth. That I never stopped thinking about Aiden and that I would fight tooth and nail to have him in my life again like before.

He pulls back and looks over my face as if he were memorizing my every feature.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I whisper.

“Like what?” he questions.

“Like you will never see me again,” I say as I press my forehead against his. When this blows over I still want to be his friend. His hands tangle into my hair and I feel his thumbs caressing my jaw. I watch his internal battle with himself.

“I wasn’t looking at you like that,” He replies as he lifts me effortlessly off his lap and walks into the kitchen. I stand there watching him walk away. I can’t fix him and solve all of his problems, especially since he hasn’t said a single word about Grazzer since we were at Paradise. I sit down at the table and glance over all the papers. I see bank statements with more money in them than I could make in a thousand lifetimes. I realize Grant has the money to give to Grazzer a few times over, but will he? Is he going to call his bluff? I get up to ask Grant if he’s going to pay Grazzer but when I walk into the kitchen I find no one.

After a few minutes of looking around, I still don’t see Grant. I can kill time in the kitchen. It has always been like therapy to me, so I get lost for a few hours making food that I am not entirely sure will be eaten.

Hours later and countless amounts of cookies made, I walk over to the stove to check on my pot of sauce. Chicken Parmigiana and Eggplant Rollatini are in the oven. I watch the water come to a boil so I drop the pasta in. Hearing footsteps, I turn to find Grant leaning in the doorway.

“I made dinner for everyone,” I say as I look away from him to stir the pasta.

“We have to leave soon.”

“OK,” I respond, not looking back at him. I knew this was most likely going to happen so I really can’t be mad. I wasn’t expecting to sit down and have a nice friendly meal, but part of me was hoping he wouldn’t be leaving to go take care of business. I just had a bad feeling about his meet up with someone as corrupt as Grazzer.

“Hey,” I hear whispered into my ear.

“I will be back soon. I have to meet up with…”

“Grazzer,” I finish for him.

“Yeah, I have to go meet up with Shane, Aiden, and John first.” The bad feeling just won’t go away. My stomach drops and my heart skips a beat. I feel like I am fighting for air. Grant can feel the change in me and pulls me to him.

“You have nothing to worry about,” he tries to reassure me.

“I can’t help it. I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen.” He takes my face in his hands.

“Hannah, I promise you, nothing is going to happen. You stay here, I have Rebel staying to keep an eye out for you. I have protection coming with me and my brothers. We are all going to be fine, I promise.” I look at him and I can’t help the words that come out of my mouth.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” He looks at me defeated. He knows he can’t guarantee his safety or mine. He doesn’t know what the future holds and how this situation will play out. He can’t control everything, and for the first time in his life, I think he is beginning to realize this. He doesn’t have control over Grazzer. He doesn’t know what his intentions are. I feel tears swell in my eyes and Grant’s thumbs wipe them away as they roll down my cheeks.

“Hey, shh, don’t.” He pulls me deeper into his chest. I listen to his heartbeat and I try to relax.

“See you soon,” he whispers. I nod, because I know nothing will get through the lump that has formed in my throat. He kisses my forehead one last time, then I watch him walk out the door with Sam.

I STAND STILL LEANING AGAINST
the counter. Thousands of horrible scenarios run through my head. None of them ending well. I have to stop thinking this way. Everything will be fine. He told me not to worry, so I won’t. I take a deep breath and look at the sink. I know that washing tons of dishes will keep me occupied, so I get to work.

Halfway through washing dishes, that I could have easily put in the dishwasher, Rebel walks in. He doesn’t talk, he just stands next to me and starts drying the dishes and stacking them on the island. We work in a comfortable silence. We stay silent long after I turn the faucet off and have put away all the dishes and packed up all the food. I make my way into the living room, and Rebel follows. I flip on the TV and make myself comfortable while calling my parents. I don’t want to have this conversation, but I have to. The phone rings twice before I hear my mother’s worried voice.

“Hannah, what the hell is going on?”

“It’s nothing to be worried about, Mom. Grant is being overprotective. I think it’s rather ridiculous that he even has security,” I say, glancing at Rebel. There is no reason to worry them further.

“What do you mean?”

“This business problem he has. It’s nothing. He is actually in a meeting right now, and I believe he will call your security and have them back off. I’m sorry for this, Mom, I had no idea. Grant can go a tad overboard at times.”

“Well, I guess he would rather be safe than sorry. That is a good quality to find in a man.” I can hear her relax a bit.

“There is nothing to worry about, Mom.” I reassure her again. “He should be home soon. I will call you and let you know what happens. Can I talk to the kids for a moment?” I hear them in the background and I miss them like crazy. I listen to Hunter shuffle to the phone first and Ella screams at him.

“Hi Mommy,” I hear Ella’s sweet voice and I know she did something to Hunter. I can hear him starting to cry to my mom.

“Hi baby, what did you do to Hunter?” I question.

“Nothing, he pushed me first so I pushed him back,” she says in full defense mode.

“That’s not nice, Ella. You say you’re sorry to your brother.”

“Fine. I’m sorry,” she yells into the phone. I pull it away from my ear because I think she just busted my eardrum. I can make out Hunter not excepting her apology.

“Mommy, he’s being stupid,” she whines.

“Ella, you do not use that word. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you sweet pea. Please put Grandma back on the phone.” I sigh.

“Fine.” I hear the phone being thrown and my mother picking it up.

“Hello,” my mom says.

“Has she been a beast this entire time?”

“No, she’s been fine. She and Hunter have been getting along. I think she just misses you, Hannah.” They miss me. I should be there with them right know.

“Hunter wants to talk to you.” The phone gets passed and I hear my baby boy’s voice.

“Hi Mama. I miss you, when are we going home? Do you miss me? I got a new bracelet.” he says, all in one breathe.

“I will be there Monday. I miss you guys more.”

“Can we have a dream date again?” he asks.

“Of course, we all can. Can you go take the phone to Ella?”

“Yeah, she wasn’t very nice to me.”

“I know, buddy. I’m sure she is sorry.”

“I know she is, I love you Mommy.” I hear him run to take Ella the phone.

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feeling, Mommy.” She blurts.

“I know, lovey. Please be nice to him. I miss you,” I tell her.

“I miss you more mommy.”

“OK, lovey I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you mommy.” She says

“I love you more, baby girl.” Then she ends the call.

I stay with the phone placed to my ear for a few seconds. The bad feeling rises up inside of me once again. I have to get up and walk around. I feel like I can’t catch my breath. I have seen panic attacks in my day and I know I might be having one. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I repeat this ten times till I feel my heartbeat slow down, back to its original pace.

I look around for Rebel, and I don’t see him. I walk back to the couch and decide to watch TV. For a mind numbing hour, I flip through the channels. It’s not until I hear the garage door open, and someone walk into the kitchen, that I sit up. I look over and I see Aiden walking in.

“Aiden, what are you doing here?” I immediately start to walk over to him. He pulls me forcefully into his arms and I land against his hard chest. My arms wrap around him on their own accord. This is home. This is where I belong. I feel his heart racing and I look up.

“Aiden, is everything OK?” He peers down at me.

“I’m taking you to be with the kids. Grab your stuff. We’re leaving.” He commands, his deep voice resonating within me. He starts walking to the guest room and I follow him. I didn’t unpack yet so there isn’t much to put back in my bag. Aiden grabs it and starts striding back to the kitchen. Rebel stands in the center of the kitchen blocking Aiden’s path.

“Mr. Grace told me to watch after Hannah. He said she isn’t to leave.” His arms are crossed over his chest trying to look intimidating, but Aiden isn’t buying it.

“I am relieving you.” Aiden walks past him bumping his shoulder. Rebel grabs my arms and pulls me back.

“Aiden,” I cry, as Rebel pulls me behind him.

“Let me go.” I struggle to get out of his grip. Not even two seconds pass when I feel Rebel’s hand drop off my arm. I turn and see him on the floor listless.

“Let’s go, Hannah.” Aiden holds his hand out for me. I take it without a second thought. He leads me right to his truck and opens my door.

When we finally get on the road I look over at Aiden. He doesn’t seem out of sorts, he seems like he is a man on a mission and getting me to my kids is his mission, but why?

“Did Grant ask you to do this?” I ask.

“No,” he answers, not looking over at me.

“You offered?”

“No, he told me he wasn’t going to let you go be with the kids, so I decided to leave them and take you myself.” He gives me a quick glance and I look at him in utter shock.

What? He wasn’t going to let me see my kids? What kind of bullshit is that? He told he would take me to see them soon. Why wouldn’t he want me to leave to see my own kids. He knew how I felt and he promised me he would take me to them.

“Aiden what is going on?” I gaze at him but he doesn’t look at me.

“Aiden,” I speak softly and place my hand on his arm. I let out a soft sigh because it feels so good to touch him.

“Hannah, I don’t want you to get wrapped up in all of this. I just personally think it would be better if you were nowhere near any of this. You need to be with the kids.”

“Of course, but why?”

“Truth?” He raises an eyebrow at me and I know I’m about to get hit with a major truth bomb.

“Yes, the truth, I can take it. You know I would never say anything to anyone. I trust you.” I look out the window when I notice Aiden getting off at an exit. He doesn’t talk as he pulls into a gas station. I look around and I see we are pulling up next to another SUV.