Letting go of Grace (23 page)

“Good morning?” he asks.

“Very good morning,” I reply back with a grin. I have no shame.

“Seems that way.” He winks at me and goes back to work on his laptop. I walk over to the stove and grab the kettle to fill it up. I place the kettle on the stove then start to make coffee for the men of the house.

“Oh good, you’re making coffee,” Aiden adds.

“Well I figured you were waiting for me to make it. I know how you like to be spoiled.” I look over at him and he just gives me a small smile. I continue to stare at him and he seems off.

“Hey, you OK?” I ask and he just shrugs his shoulders at me while typing away. Moments later Grant walks into the kitchen looking all fresh from his shower and he smiles at me.

“Good morning,” he says to Aiden.

“Looks like you two had a good one,” Aiden replies back. I can see Grant is annoyed by his comment. I’m not sure if it’s because Aiden knows what I look like right after a wrestle between the sheets or if it’s because he simply picked up on it. I feel my face start to heat up.

“What time are you leaving?” Grant asks, getting right to the point.

“Noon, I have a car taking me to the airport. When are you leaving?” he counters. I feel the tension in the air. I’m so uncomfortable that I want to slip out and hope no one notices.

“I’m leaving in a bit to go to the office, then I will meet you at the airport. I don’t think I will be able to get there till one.” Grant pours his coffee and leans back against the counter sipping it black.

“Fine, I’ll call the car and tell them to pick me up later then.”

Grant walks over to me and gives me a goodbye kiss, then walks over to Ella who is lying on the couch and kisses her head.

“I’ll see you later baby girl,” he tells her as he is walking away.

“Are you coming back?” Ella sits up and looks over at him.

“Yup. You, Hunter, and Mommy are taking me to the airport later.”

“Really! We get to see the planes?” she asks excited.

“Yes and I will even let you go in!” he belts out with excitement, getting her even more riled up.

Aiden peers over at me.

“Why don’t you cancel the driver and I will take you?”

“OK. Sure. Thanks.” Aiden gets up and takes his laptop with him and retreats back into the office. Grant walks back into the kitchen.

“Babe, I have to get going. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back.” He gives my temple a soft kiss and walks out the door. I look around the kitchen and start walking to the office where I know Aiden is. I pause in front of the door knowing he is just on the other side of it. I stand there and place my hand on the door, then I hear Aiden moving around, so I knock. I listen and hear, “Come in.”

“Hey…um, I was wondering if you needed any help packing?” I stand in the doorway leaning against the frame.

“No, I think I’m good.” He zips up his suitcase as I look around the room.

“How about we all go out for breakfast? My treat.” He looks up at me and I nod at him.

“Let me go get everyone ready.” I feel sadness coursing through my body, slamming into my chest. I study his kind eyes and can still see what we could have been. I get the strongest urge to touch him. To kiss him. I have to remove myself from the room before he can see I still have feeling for him within me.

Ella and Hunter are on board for going out to breakfast with Aiden, so I let them get themselves dressed as I hop in the shower.

The water rains down over my body, droplets gliding between my legs and caressing my breasts. Before I can stop it, Aiden’s face flashes in my mind, and I face the spraying water, desperately trying to wash him away. No. You can’t think of him. He’s your friend now. I suck in air, but my skin is tingling and my clit is throbbing. With each breath, he returns to my thoughts with more clarity than before and it sends more insistent desire to my core. I fall back onto the cool tile and hold myself, willing the heat between my legs to disappear. But it won’t, and dammit ̶ it feels good. The memory of his feels so good and real. I bite my lips and find my hand slowly rubbing my breasts in slow torturous circles. Then my fingers trace my nipples. They perk up instantly. I let out a low moan and arch my back, shocked when warm water connects with my pebbled flesh. I throw my head back and begin to assault my straining wet nipples with harsh tugs. Each pull feels like the strong suck of his mouth, with his warm breath blowing lightly over my breasts when he releases each from his smoldering lips with a soft pop. My eyes snap open to look into his, but he’s not here. Of course he’s not. But the level of just how turned on I am is unsettling. I try to breathe though it and stop this, but my eyes close again against my will, and I fall back into my erotic daydream. I begin to pant; my chest riding and falling at a fast speed. He places an open mouth kiss to my shoulder while whispering,
That’s right, baby. Feel me.
And I do. I feel his mouth traveling up my neck, his words caressing me all over, biting the skin under my ear softly then kissing it, as a way to sooth his torment on my body.
I’ve missed you, Hannah. Have you missed me baby?
I hear next softly against my neck. “Y-y-yes” I shudder in response, the sound of my weak voice is jarring me and twisting the knife of guilt further, but I’m too far gone now, I need the release that I haven’t felt since I was with Aiden. I extend my arms back, reaching out for him. My hands come up empty when I place my palms onto the shower wall above my head. What the hell am I doing? I know my thoughts of Aiden are wrong, but I can’t bring myself to open my eyes just yet. I ache everywhere, from my heart to between my legs. I clench, knowing the smallest touch will be my undoing. This really is too far. But he knows I need him and he won’t let me go. And then I hear his voice again.
Gorgeous, open up those beautiful legs for me.
I shake my head back and forth, pressing my trembling legs tightly together.
Hannah… show me how much you want me,
he rasps. My breathing becomes shaky as I slowly spread my legs. I bite down on my bottom lip, willing myself to get some control. The support of the slick shower wall makes me picture his hard body pressed up against me. Holding me in place with one hand digging into my hip, his over covers mine. He slides our hands down my sensitive skin. A familiar wetness runs down my inner thigh.
That’s it, that’s it baby. Touch yourself, show me how you like it.
I circle my clit a few times then insert one finger.

“Ahhh.” I moan then insert another finger. I move them in and out, rapidly stroking my desire.
Beautiful,
he growls in a hushed whisper before he licks down my neck.
Keep going baby.
He brings his hand lower and runs his thumb across my swollen clit. The slick motion send me over the edge.

“Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.” I moan intensely.

“Hannah,” he speaks more loudly this time. Oh God, how can this feel so real?

“Hannah are you coming or not?”

“Yes,” I cry out as my fingers plunge deeply inside of me and send my body into a climax. It’s so intense and the awful realization of how much better that was than what Grant did to me this morning makes me feel almost sick. Even that empty memory of Aiden is still enough to undo me.

“Good, We’re ready downstairs.”

“What?” I jolt up in shock so quickly I almost slip.

“I said we’ll see you downstairs.”

I hear him walk away from the bathroom door and out of my room. I barely make out him closing the door. I turn off the water and slump down the shower wall, and sit on the tub floor. Wrapping my arms around my bended knees, I start to rock back and forth. What the fuck just happened? I just came to thoughts of one of my closest friends. I chose Grant. Why am I thinking of Aiden? My lips part and I blow out a ragged breath. Oh God…

By the time I get out, they all are waiting on me. Aiden is egging the kids on to yell at me from the bottom of the stairs. I hear Hunter’s teasing first.

“Hurry up slow poke!”

Followed by Ella, bellowing, “I’m starving!” Aiden follows their lead.

“Come on, Hannah, we don’t have all day. I have a flight to catch!” I manage to laugh as I quickly pull my clothes on. I’m mortified that Aiden knocked on the door when I was… yeah. I truly hope he didn’t hear anything. I groan, checking myself out in the mirror to make sure my face is no longer flushed. It looks good, back to normal color- thank goodness- so I open my bedroom door and head out. When I get to the top of the staircase I see all three lying on the floor waiting for me. I wish I had my camera to take a picture of it. They are all pretending to sleep.

“Oh, I didn’t take that long. It was only ten minutes.” The kids rub their eyes pretending to wake up and Aiden stays “asleep.” I creep down the stairs and mouth “Shh,” to the kids and point at Aiden. When I get closer, I yell, “Get him!” We all pile on him, of course making sure we don’t hurt him because he is still in a sling. I hear Aiden grunt and I realize Hunter must have kneed him in the balls. In seconds he rolls over onto his side, which sets me off in laughter.

“Are you OK?” I ask between fits of laughter.

“No, I don’t think I can have kids anymore,” Aiden sighs. I wipe the tears from my eyes and we make eye contact. Does he know?

“Let me help you up.” I stand and put my hands out to him. He takes both my hands in his one giant one and I pull with everything I have. When he makes it up, he is staring down right into my eyes.

“They’re aqua again.” He wipes the stray tears of laughter off my cheek and smiles. I can feel the blush, but I turn towards the kids who are now running around the house.

“Let’s go.” I grab my bag and we all head out the door. Aiden opens the back door for the kids and I help him with buckling them up. He closes the door behind me and puts his hand out.

“Oh no, I’m driving,” I say as I walk around to the driver’s side.

“Come on, I haven’t driven in a while,” he pleads with determination.

“Well, when you go home you can drive around all you want.” I smile at him and hop in my SUV. I can see him walk back around my SUV through my mirrors. He’s sulking.

The drive to the diner is quiet. When we get inside, Hunter and Ella both want to sit on Aiden’s side of the booth. He sits right in between them with no complaint. I sit and enjoy their conversations only really talking when they include me. I watch the kids bask in Aiden’s attention, both of them fighting for it. I look around and see another woman smile at me. I wonder if she thinks we are a family? I look over at Aiden and our eyes meet. A smile comes over his lips and I smile back. When the food arrives I notice Ella keeps bumping in Aiden’s sling.

“Ella lovey, can you come sit next to me? I feel lonely over here all by myself.” I give her a pouty face, but it doesn’t work.

“No, I want to stay with Aiden,” she replies.

“Well buttercup, if you don’t go sit with her, I’m leaving you both to sit with her.” He goes to get up and Ella jumps out of the booth to sit next to me. He gives me a wink and I can’t help but smile. I hear someone speaking and I look up; it’s the woman who was looking at us before.

“Your children are beautiful and so well behaved,” she states, looking between Aiden and I.

“Thank you.” Aiden says, with a grin on his face. I just smile and look at Ella and Hunter, who are busy stuffing their faces.

“Have a good day,” she says, and walks away. I want to laugh, but I refrain.

“I guess she thought we were a family,” Aiden whispers, making sure the kids don’t hear.

“Looks that way,” I say before I take a sip of my tea. He did say he wanted this at one time. I wonder how he feels about sitting here with us. Does it make him want to be part of this or is he relieved that he’s not? I let the question remain unspoken. I don’t need to go back to that “What If” game with Aiden, it wouldn’t end well. Crossing that fine line we have made would not be a good thing. I love Grant and I have Aiden as a friend. What I did back in the shower will never be mentioned. Everything is where I want it to be, and need it to be. We finish breakfast with the kids dominating the topics. On the way home Ella asks the question I have been wondering.

“Aiden, when are we going to see you again?” her small voice asks from the backseat.

“Not sure. But you said you would come and visit me in the Cape, right?” He smiles at her and she looks at me.

“We can still go to the Cape, right, Mommy?” she asks softly.

“Of course.” I glance at Aiden and see my answer has pleased him as well.

“How about next weekend? I start traveling later on that week, and I’m not sure when I’ll have some free time again…” He voice trails off and I know when I look over at him he will have that award winning smile on his lips. I try to avoid looking at him, but I can’t help it. It’s as natural as breathing. I gaze at him and I instantly get hooked.

“That could be arranged,” I answer, then look back at the road.

“We leave in a few days for the new hotel, then when I come back I’m going right up to my parents’ cabin. We can leave early and head over to your house.” I look over and give him a smile.

“Yeah. Sounds good. I’ll get the word out when I get home,” he replies in an empty tone as he looks out the window.