Letting go of Grace (27 page)

“What are you going to do?” I ask before I can stop myself. I don’t want him to feel he has to fix everyone’s problems, and with his family there is always a problem.

“I have people working on digging stuff up on him. I want to see what information he has before we make any negotiations.” He finally looks at me.

“He wants fifty million,” he states. I nearly choke on my own tongue. Holy shit!

“Grant,” is all I can get out before I hold him close to me again and he lets me. We sit in silence for a few minutes watching the sunset.

“We have to cut this trip short.” He takes a deep breath. “I need to get back to the Cape. When I spoke to Shane earlier he said Grazzer wanted to meet tomorrow night.” Chills run down my spine and goosebumps appear along my skin. Grant notices and pulls me closer.

“This isn’t something I want you worrying about, babe. Everything will work out.” I’m not sure if he is trying to reassure me or himself. I can only hold him tight and hope for the best.

WE LEAVE THE RESTAURANT AND
go back to our villa only to pack up. I look around and feel sad we never got the time just the two of us together. We didn’t get to talk much. Talking in between our sex marathon doesn’t really count. I walk next to him, hand in hand, as we walk out and get into a car that will take us back to the airport. The plane ride home isn’t filled with the passion and laughs it was on the way here. This time Grant is lying on the couch with his head in my lap as I gently run my fingers through his hair and down his neck. He isn’t telling me he needs me, but his actions are screaming at me, telling me he needs the contact to stay calm. I start to worry that Grant is keeping things from me. That he doesn’t trust me as much as I trust him.

When we land, exhaustion has set in. We step off the plane and I have a feeling we won’t be getting the rest we desperately need today. Sam greets us. Grant just nods at Sam and lets me in the truck first. I slide in and stay silent.

As we approach his house I notice a big wrought iron gates have been installed. Sam slows and I see him press a button on the visor. The gates open and we follow the long driveway until Grant’s house comes into view. The garage door goes up and I see a man standing inside. I look over at Grant and he takes my hand in his and kisses it softly.

“It’s OK, baby, he works for me.” He gives me a reassuring smile. I gaze at the man as we enter. He doesn’t move. His eyes are looking outside the garage. I go to open the door once the truck is in park and Grant grabs my hand.

“Wait till the doors close,” he says with a firm voice. I look over at him.

“I just want to be safe,” he clarifies, but he isn’t looking at me when he says speaks. I glance out the back of the truck to watch the doors close. Sam jumps out and opens Grant’s door. I don’t wait for chivalry. I open my own door, then walk into the house. I place my bag on the island and look around. My hands rest on the cold granite countertop and I bow my head for a moment. I need to relax. I need to show Grant I am strong and I can be here for him if he needs me. Grant, Sam, and the man from the garage walk in after a few minutes.

“Hannah, I would like to introduce you to Rebel.” I observe the large man and manage a smile. I find my manners and put my hand out.

“Nice to meet you, Rebel,” I say, as his hand cups mine. His firm grip lets me know he can break me into pieces with that one hand. Shivers run down my back and I instantly become cold. I space out and hear my own weak voice. “Please don’t hurt me.” An image of a nineteen year old me curled up on the floor of my first apartment flashes through my mind. I cup my bruised cheek, keeping my head down. I’m terrified of what my boyfriend, Derrick, will do next. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” he spews through gritted teeth. He strides across the room and pushes me back with a harsh shove to the chest. “Are you hard of hearing?” I don’t answer because I know that will only make him angrier. Slowly I glance up at his menacing face. He reeks of booze, but that’s nothing new. “Why do you make me do this to you? What part of don’t be friendly with the fucking neighbors did you not understand?” I feel his spit land on my face, but the shaking in my hands prevents me from lifting them to wipe the filth away. Ever since he lost his job for missing work thanks to his bottle a night habit, he stopped trusting me because he thought everyone was out to get him. At first I tried to reassuring him that I wasn’t up to anything and that I wasn’t going anywhere but the verbal backlashes just got worse. The tender, marked flesh I tried to cover up was getting harder to hide. He lowered down to face level. “Baby, I need to be able to trust you. You get that, don’t you?”

“Hannah?” I stare at Rebel’s face as I snap out of my thought. His straight face breaks the slightest bit and I see a small smile cross his lips. He nods once.

“Pleasure is all mine, Hannah,” Rebel rumbles.

Sam takes Rebel and they disappear moments later, leaving Grant and I in the kitchen.

“I have to go out a little later, on business,” Grant says, looking at the floor.

“How about the truth, Grant?” I ask, coming face to face with him.

“This is business,” he snaps back, placing his hands on my shoulder. I jerk back away from him.

“No, this is a family problem, not business,” I remind him.

“I won’t let you get involved, Hannah,” he says while rubbing the stubble on his cheek.

“Get me involved? Look around, Grant, I am involved, like it or not. I didn’t ask to get mixed up in this bullshit, but since I am, I want to know what is going on. My kids will be staying here soon. Should I be concerned about their safety?” I begin to tremble nervously. Please, please, please, don’t let this involve the kids, I chant in my head.

“I already have that covered. I spoke with your father yesterday to let him know I have hired a security detail for them.” I go to interrupt him and he doesn’t let me.

“I assured him it was nothing, but I would rather be safe than sorry. Hannah, I don’t know what will happen. I’m simply protecting my family, and I promise nothing will happen to you or the kids, OK?” He walks over to me and holds me close to his chest. I let him hug me, but I can’t return the hug. I have a feeling something is about to go terribly wrong. Call it women’s intuition or mother’s intuition, but I can’t shake this feeling.

“I want to be with my kids. I want to leave,” I state, stepping away from him.

“Hannah, I said no, it’s not safe to be traveling now,” he sneered, following me down the hallway.

“And that is the exact reason I want to be with MY KIDS,” I hissed. I face Grant when I get to the door to his room.

“Hannah, please, just stay put. I will take you to them soon.” He lowers his head to look me in the eyes. I avoid them and turn my head to the side.

“Hannah, please, don’t be like this. You know I have enough on my plate. They are safe, you have my word.” I exhale and finally look at him.

“What did my dad have to say about all of this?” I question.

“I didn’t tell him the details, I told him this was a small business matter, and I wanted to make sure everyone was secure. He had a few questions, and I deflected them the best I could. If you talk to him you can’t go into detail over this, Hannah.” He pulls away and fiercely looks me in the eye. I know he is waiting for me to respond so I give him a small nod in agreement. I go to open the door to his room, but I am soon stopped by Rebel.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t have you going in there,” he says blocking the door way.

I sigh and turn to look over at Grant in frustration.

“My room is all windows, Hannah. All the windows are bullet proof, but I don’t want to take the chance, I don’t know what we are up against.”

“Where can I take a hot shower then?” I ask.

“We will be staying in the guest bedroom,” Grant says, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck.

I turn on my heels and walk to what I believe is the guest bedroom. I see the bathroom has been stocked with towels and toiletries. Apparently all my choices have been made for me. I take my bag and place it on the bed. A sudden crushing feeling crashes down on me.
Stop, Hannah, don’t read too much into this. Take Grant’s word and believe that the kids are fine.
I start to think about the note Grant got from Shane. The car accident and the unexplained explosion of my birthday present. It’s all too much. My skin has become clammy and I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand. I will make myself sick if I continue to think about it all. I need to stop thinking. I take out my pills with shaky hands and drop them. I fall to my knees next to the bed while hanging my head low. Exhaustion has begun to sink slowly into my body. Moments ago I was ready to throw cars to get my kids and now I just want to close my eyes and pretend for a few minutes that this isn’t my life.

I open my eyes to see a faint light glowing from under the door. I try to roll over and it proves to be impossible.

“I see you have woken up.” The smell of scotch and stale cigarettes fill my nostrils. I want to vomit but I know I will be beat further for that action alone.

“You’ve been out for almost four hours. Wake up.” He chuckles. I want to get up and show him the rage he showed me, but I am weak, and my body is aching from what he did to me.

“Do you need anything?” He went from evil to compassionate in a few seconds. I know how his moods can swing. He must be sobering up.

“I asked you a question, Hannah, the least you can do is answer me.” His voice is getting closer, it’s then I feel his fingers begin to slide around my neck.

“You stupid, inconsiderate bitch,” he growls at me. Then the pressure begins to constrict my airways. I know the more I fight the more he will get off, so I remain still.

“What’s wrong sweetheart, you lose your fight?” His hand releases abruptly and I take in a deep breath. Pain shoots everywhere. Sparks fly throughout my legs leaving nothing but fire in its path.

“Get up,” he screams. I feel his foot hit my stomach but I feel nothing. I don’t even open my eyes to look at him but I feel his breath warming my face.

“You are nothing without me, do you hear me?” his voice strains as he whispers venomously in my ear.

I shoot straight up and look into Grant’s face as he leans over me. He goes to touch me and I crawl away from him on the floor. God, I fell asleep on the floor.

“Hannah.” Grant’s voice is gentle but I can’t be near anyone right now. Fear is pulsing in my chest, sending my body into overdrive. I dealt with those dreams and feelings a long time ago. Chase knew of my previous relationship before him, of that asshole Derrick. I haven’t thought of him in a long time. I saw a counselor for the after effects years ago. What triggered this? One man comes to mind. The man who I am looking at.

“Get out, now!” I yell. Grant places his hands up.

“Hannah, let me,” he begins but I stop him. “I said get out.” I need to slow my breathing because I am panting. Tears begin to well in my eyes as Grant closes the door. Get it together Hannah. I stand up on unsteady legs and head to the bathroom where I begin to dry heave. When I feel some semblance of strength, I enter the shower for white noise. I will not let the fear of disappointment fill me again. I will never be afraid to close my eyes. Chase showed me not everyone is evil. He helped me fix myself. He didn’t fix me. He once told me that he would love to fix everything, but the glue wouldn’t hold on forever. He told me I needed to mend myself so I would stay in one piece, and that’s what I did. How fast I fall apart again. I don’t need Grant to fix me, I have to fix myself. I have to make the decisions. Grant takes the power away, that’s what attracted me to him in the first place. His strong personality made me feel like I was safe. But I know now, that just like Derrick, Grant will always run the show. How could I be so stupid? I walked away from Aiden because he put me in my place but I deserved it. He never once tried to impose his will on me. He was angry but I can’t blame him. He held my heart with precious hands and I crushed his. I need to follow my heart, and my heart wants Aiden. Tears form but I force them back. I’ve made a terrible mistake and I have to fix it before it’s too late.

An hour later I come out from hiding in the guest room. Grant is at the dining room table immersed in paperwork. He doesn’t hear me come up from behind him. He jerks fast when I clear my throat. I see panic run across his face before he hides it under his perfect, confident façade.

“Jesus, Hannah, you scared the shit out of me,” he says, trying to calm himself down before turning away.