Lessons of the Heart (17 page)

“Oh yes, I heard that Britta’s your assistant. You’re a lucky one, James. All of us just adore her and she’s such a hard worker. I can say we were all quite jealous of Stacy for that reason,” Mrs. Hamilton says with a smile. She winks at me and I blush with embarrassment.

“I am lucky to have her that’s for sure.” He looks at me and smiles sweetly. “Shall we?” He extends his arm toward his office and I nod.

“Of course. Bye, Mrs. Hamilton, Mrs. Sanderson.”

They wave goodbye and we walk in silence down the hall. My body hums at his close proximity and I wonder what’s going to happen when we’re inside the small confines of his office. We round the corner and I walk through first, pushing the door open then stand off to the side until James enters. He closes the door halfway so it doesn’t draw attention. Then he’s on me instantly. His hands cradle my face as my back lightly hits the wall behind the door. I cling to his shirt, careful not to put too many wrinkles in it. The slow seductive dance of our mouths warms my insides again, making me fall further into him with each nip and bite with his teeth. The moment our tongues collide, stars explode behind my lids and I surrender to the feelings inside me that are begging to come out.

My hands slide up to his shoulders, pulling him closer to me, needing to feel the full press of his body against mine. It’s been too long since I’ve felt the hotness of his mouth, the silkiness of his tongue slide against mine. It’s been too long since I’ve fed my addiction and the withdrawal is starting to show, as evidenced by this morning’s incident with Chase.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that,” James says against my mouth. Our movements slow, but the hard evidence of our lust pressing against my stomach makes me want to continue, to push the moment further, and explore the uncharted territory that is James Dumont.

“I think I have a good idea. I would guess since the moment we stopped outside of my door back in Boston.”

His lips travel across my cheek to my ear, lightly sucking on the lobe, creating a surge of heat to flood between my legs.

“It’s been killing me not to be able to kiss you like this in public as I could in Boston whenever I wanted to.”

My short panting breaths beat against his neck and I’m brave enough to lick a small trail from the collar of his shirt to his ear. He groans in pleasure and I savor the sweet taste of his skin against my tongue.

His hips roll into me slightly when I repeat the move and I gasp when his firm thigh hits a rather tender spot between my legs. Our eyes connect and lock onto each other with desire and passion floating between us.

“James,” I whisper, feeling his skin pebble as I lick my lips and moan softly. I want to throw caution to the wind. I want to take this man with everything I have. I need to feel everything with him. I just need him.

“Britta, I want you too much. And it killed me this morning to see you with Chase.”

“Nothing happened,” I say, still clinging to his body for support.

He leans his forehead against mine and reclaims my lips in a sweet, soft kiss. “I know, but the fact that he had you pinned against the wall was enough to drive me crazy.” I raise an eyebrow to him and he quietly laughs. “This is different.”

“Why? Because you’re the one pinning me to a wall?”

“Yes.”

And with that one simple response, I’m lost to everything except for James. I press my lips against his once more and sigh at his immediate response. His jealousy, his need for me furthers my need and addiction for him.

“I would never go out with him. He’s not the one I want,” I say. “He’s not the one who lights my eyes up when I see him, who sends heat coursing through my veins with just a smile in my direction. He’s not the one I wish was in my bed at night, holding me close, letting me feel the steady beat of his heart.”

“Who is?” he huskily asks, cupping my cheeks once more while looking directly into my eyes.

“It’s you. It’s always been you. Ever since that first day when you knocked me off my feet, it’s been you.”

“This is going to be difficult,” he says.

“I know.”

“I’m having a hard time controlling myself around you anymore.”

“I know.”

“I want to be with you.”

I swallow hard. “I know.”

“Is this our thing?” he asks. “When we open ourselves up to each other, the automatic response is ‘I know’?”

“Everyone needs a thing.”

The distant chattering of teachers draws our attention and we reluctantly pull away from each other. I smooth the few wrinkles on his dress shirt and straighten his tie, creating another one of those devilishly handsome smiles to pop up on his face.

“I suppose we better start working,” he says. “I don’t want to get you in trouble. Your colleague could report you for your poor work habits.”

I poke him in the middle of his chest and laugh. “I didn’t hear him complain three minutes ago.”

James’s arms wrap firmly around my waist, pulling me close again. His warm cheek rests upon mine and I cling to his shoulders once more. “Definitely not complaining.”

“Good because we have work to do. Come on, let’s get to it.”

I boot up his computer and he starts going through his papers stacked on his desk, showing me everything that I need to do. For being a smart man, he sure does fall behind easily in his homework grading. Or perhaps he’s doing it on purpose as a way to keep me busy to perfect the ruse we’re doing. I mean, a man who graduated a year early and is halfway through his Masters program at the age of twenty-two isn’t someone who strikes me as a slacker.

James glances down at his watch and sighs loudly. “I need to get something to eat before my class starts in fifteen minutes. Do you need me to heat up your lunch?” he asks, stretching his arms above his head.

“No thanks. I’m okay for right now. Plus I’ve hit my stride and I’d rather not break it.” I barely glance up at him as I correct the papers from his classes this morning. A hand comes down, blocking my view and forcing me to look up at him. I cock an eyebrow in silent question and he smiles.

“Don’t work too hard. You’ll be running out of stuff to do at that pace and then you’ll be bored being in here for the next hour.”

I look around the room and smile. “I don’t think I’ll be bored. Your office may look different though when you return. I tend to nest when I’m left alone too long.”

“Nest?” he asks.

I nod. “Nest, as in clean or decorate. I have issues with blank walls.”

He rolls his eyes and pauses at the door. “Just don’t make it girly if you do.”

I salute him with a smirk. “I make no promises.”

And with that, he leaves to me to my own devices. Several ideas pop into my head at the same time and I work quickly on the task at hand so I can follow through next hour on my ideas.

“Y
OU DID WHAT?” LIAM ASKS
me. He tosses a basketball into the air out of boredom while I’m sitting at my desk working on my homework.

“I redecorated his office,” I repeat.

“Why would you do that?”

I shrug and write down my calculus answer quickly. “Because there was nothing in there. It felt like I was trapped in an insane asylum. All white walls and minimal furniture. I mean, who can concentrate in that kind of environment?”

The ball slips from his hands, bouncing several times until it rolls toward my door. “Are you stark raving mad? You can’t decorate a teacher’s office. Are you trying to get found out?”

I turn in my chair to face my now red-faced brother. “It’s not like I did this overnight you twat. I mean, I’ve been assisting him for the past several weeks. It’s been a gradual thing. I didn’t bring in a crate of shit one day and start posting flowers and hearts everywhere. Give me some credit, Liam.”

“Oh I’ll give you something all right,” he says.

“Whatever.” I throw my pencil down once the last problem is complete. “What are your plans tonight? Last night before winter break must mean big parties around here somewhere.”

“Well Douchenozzle is having a party but I really don’t want to go to that one.”

My nose crinkles at his name. “Thank God for that. I hate it when you go over to his parties. Why don’t you come with me to Drake’s? You know everyone there so you’ll probably have some fun. Besides, we don’t hang out much anymore and I’d like to do that.”

“Sure. Why not. It could be fun.”

“It will be. Promise. Now leave me alone so I can finish my work.”

He jumps off my bed and messes up my hair as he walks by. My phone beeps with an incoming message.

YOU’RE STILL GOING TONIGHT?

Penny has been flipping out all week, wondering if I’m actually going to come out or not. She and Travis have been fighting a lot lately. When the situation gets tense, she uses me as her scapegoat. Tonight I’m sure will be another prime example of that.

YEP, GIVE ME A COUPLE HOURS.

GREAT! CAN’T WAIT. IT’LL BE EPIC.

I roll my eyes and focus back on my work. When my phone beeps again, I resist the urge to chuck it across the room just to shut it up. But James’s name stops me from following through.

I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU MORE.

GOING OUT TONIGHT?

YEP.

WITH PENNY?

AND LIAM.

WILL CHASE BE THERE?

PROBABLY.

I WISH I COULD BE THERE WITH YOU.

ME TOO.

CALL ME WHEN YOU GET HOME?

PROMISE.

I wish I could take him with me. I’d give anything to dance with him all night, sit on his lap, and laugh with my friends while his hands run up and down my sides. I’m jealous of all the couples at the parties who are able to do that. Not that James and I are a couple, but we’re definitely past the friend thing. Usually when you round first base, it’s something a little more serious.

Just thinking about his hands on me has my legs pressing together to quell the deep need for him that’s always just below the surface. Even the thought of him makes me hot. I need a cold shower before I head to Drake’s otherwise I’ll be sending the wrong signals to a certain someone I’m going to actively avoid all night.

We pick up Penny and she grumbles in the back seat the entire way to Drake’s house. I guess Travis is going to meet her there. Knowing them, they probably had another fight. They’ve been having more and more of those lately. Either way, Liam has a satisfied grin on his face, knowing that he’s bringing Penny to the party. It’s a technicality but who am I to rain on his parade?

The loud music can be heard outside as we pull into the long private driveway. Thick trees surround us, making it the perfect hiding spot for a night of recklessness. I don’t plan on a repeat of Travis’s party. And with Liam around I know for a fact that it won’t happen.

The moment we walk inside, we’re assaulted by a booming techno beat.

“What time did this start?” I yell to Penny, who’s standing right next to me.

“I thought he said nine.”

“Maybe nine this morning.” I look around and shake my head. “Everyone is already plastered.”

“Wonderful,” Penny mutters.

We make our way past the bumping and grinding teens to the kitchen where liquor bottles line every inch of available counter space. Two-liter bottles take residence next to each liquor bottle, making it relatively easy to concoct whatever your heart desires.

“You drinking tonight?” I yell to Liam.

He shakes his head. “You go ahead and drink. I’m driving, remember?”

“I can drive if you want.”

“There is no way I’m letting you drive my Mustang. Hell no.”

I roll my eyes and turn to Penny. “Drink?”

“God, please. I need something strong and fast.”

“Usually girls prefer it slow. Fast does nothing except leave you wanting,” Liam says.

“I’m not in the mood for your shit tonight, Liam. If I want it fast, that’s how I’m going to get it.”

“Anyone who tries anything like that with you will be answering to me,” he growls out.

“You know what,” I yell at the both of them, garnering their attention. “You two need to fuck and get it over with. I’m not going to sit here and watch you trip all over yourselves when you obviously want to be together. Just stick your dick in her and be done with it!”

Their faces turn from pale white to bright pink at almost the same time. It would be comical if I weren't so frustrated. I mean, I know it’s my fault they’re not together, or at least I’ll accept part of the blame. But my God, if they keep tiptoeing around this forever I’m going to go crazy.

I pour a generous amount of Citron into an ice-filled glass and top it with Diet 7-Up. Penny and Liam are still in a silent standoff and I leave them to it. They need to figure out their shit. Yes, Penny has a boyfriend and yes, my brother can be a giant child sometimes. They’re both screwed up and yet are one hundred percent perfect for each other. Or they would be if they could stop hurting the other for more than five minutes.

My face crinkles from the surge of vodka now flooding my mouth. Okay, so maybe I was a little wrist heavy when I poured.
Too late now
.

I push my way through the crowd until I find our little group seated near the fireplace.