Learning to Live (29 page)

I’m at Jay Jay’s but it’s different tonight. The tables are made of
glass, and the floors, walls, and stage are cold steel. The place is
almost empty, but as I step farther inside, I see a few people at the bar
that I don’t recognize. One is dressed as Hannibal Lecter, and I shiver
as he watches me enter. I look around for a familiar face and notice
everyone has vanished except for him.

I feel the temperature drop and see my breath turn to fog as he
stands up to walk toward me. The closer he gets, the colder I become.
Soon, I’m shivering so hard my body starts to hurt. I back away to
leave but stop when warm arms wrap around me. I sigh with relief
because Jax is here. A smile rests on my face while I turn around, but
it falls when I see Hannibal so close I can smell his breath. When I try
to see his face, all I see is black behind the mask.

I start to fight and scream for help but stop when I hear the piano
start playing a beautiful melody. I look up and see Blaire and scream
her name while Hannibal squeezes me like a vise. She never looks my
way and continues to play like she’s unaware of anything but her
performance.

My breathing becomes shallow as both Hannibals are there, one
in front and one behind. My heart accelerates and I start to shake. The
one in front reaches up with his hand, and I back up to move, but I’m
blocked by the other. I can feel his touch and smell the cigarettes on
his skin as he runs his finger down my cheek. I feel dirty and my
stomach starts rolling just from that small touch.

“Please let me go,” I plea with a shaky voice, and then I’m
released from behind.
He turns me around so fast I almost lose my balance. Finally
facing him, I see it’s Benji in Hannibal’s place and feel my heart rate
drop. I try to hug him but I’m frozen from the coldness that has set in
my bones.
I can still feel the moist heat from the other person hitting my
neck. He nuzzles my ear as I plea with Benji with my eyes for help. I
scream as Hannibal begins biting down on my lobe and with putrid
breath, says, “Yummy.”
“Help.” I need Benji to help me, but he just continues to stare at
me with sad eyes.
Then he bends forward and says on a scared whisper, “Run.”

I wake up with a jolt and feel the sweat on my body. The air from
the fan causes me to shiver as it hits my damp skin. Taking a deep
breath, I turn on my lamp to help calm my nerves. My eyes are blurry
from sleep, so it’s hard to make out the objects in my room.

After a moment they adjust enough for me to see my bathroom
door is open.
I’m sure I closed it last night
. I start to panic because the
nightmare is still fresh, but I calm down when I think of Jazz next
door. She was probably coming over and saw I was asleep. I’m sure
she just forgot to close it when she left.

I look at the time on my phone and realize I was only asleep for an
hour. Now I feel wide awake and restless even though I’ve calmed
down. Tomorrow is a long day though, so I need to try and get some
sleep. I grab my pillow and make my way to Jazz’s room.

I see her curled up on her side with her pink eye mask on. I lean
over her small form and tap her shoulder. She just swats my hand away
and mumbles something incoherent, so I try again.

I’m not okay so I don’t answer her question and just ask my own.
“Can I sleep with you?”
She scoots over toward the wall and lifts the bedspread. “Sure.”
She looks at me with concern. “But don’t try for morning sex because
I’m not Jax. Got it?” She smiles while trying to lighten the somber
mood, and I’m grateful she doesn’t ask for details.

Saturday creeps up on me and goes by fast. We wait backstage for
the moment we walk in front of the audience. The auditorium is filling
up, and I’m glad I was given four tickets for family to sit at the front. I
don’t have family to invite, but I did have Jax and Jazz. I invited Mrs.
Janet but she’s helping run the bar tonight. She just hired a girl named
Gabby, but I have yet to meet her.

I turn toward my right and see Elle there beside me looking out
nervously into the crowd. “Are your grandparents here?” I know
they’ve supported her since her freshman year and have seen her dance
several times so I don’t know why she’s so tense.

“Yes,” she answers shortly with a quiver in her voice while
scanning the crowd.
I turn back around and ignore her rude tone because tonight is
about dancing. I helped choreograph the dance I’m lead in with Jamal
and Keith, and I can’t wait to perform it. It’s to
Radioactive
by
Imagine Dragons and the dance is about breaking free from my past
and making a new life for myself.
“Trudy, I’m sorry.” I turn back to Elle as she takes a shaky breath.
“Some scouts from the Joffrey Ballet Company are out there tonight,
and I’m a nervous wreck.”
I beam and give her a hug. I’m so excited for her. “Elle, I know
you’ll do great. I’ve been following dance for years, and I believe you
are
by far
the best I’ve seen.” I smile and I hope the truth behind my
words helps to calm her down.
“Thanks.” She smiles and faces me. “It’s almost time.” She turns
and takes a deep breath then announces to the others to get ready.
The music department is performing in between each of our
routines, so the show should last an hour or longer. I glance one last
time out toward the audience and spot Jax talking with David and Jazz
sitting beside him. I see Mason sitting on the other side of Jax looking
at his phone. If I know him I’d say he’s playing a video game.
“You ready, doll?” Jamal asks, smiling wide. He’s dressed in a
brown monk robe just like Keith and I for our first performance.
Underneath they are wearing black and red leotards with black tights.
I’m wearing a red halter baby-doll dance dress with a sheer hem
and sequined top. My hair is in a French twist and my features pop
with dark eye makeup and red lipstick. My feet are covered in my
nude dance shoes that I bought a few weeks after I started with the
team. I smile, anxious to get out on stage and perform. “Yeah, I’m
nervous and excited. I haven’t performed in front of a crowd in a
long
time.”
“Well, don’t be nervous, girl. We got this.” He turns and glances
out toward the crowd. “I see your man and his friends are all here.” He
turns back to me with a serious expression and gets all sassy with his
hand on his hip. “I’m glad you found a good guy, sweetie, because you
definitely deserve it. But if he turns out to be not only a fine ass but an
asshole to, just say the word and I’ll handle it, okay?”
I just smile and nod because Jamal is such a diva, and it shows
even when he’s acting like a big brother. After he leaves satisfied with
my answer, I go listen to the music and wait for my first performance
for the night.
After the first two songs from the music department are
performed, it’s finally our turn. I see the lights dim as the stage crew
carries in a wooded table made to look like a dais. I go and lie on it
before the music starts.
At the beginning of the song, both Jamal and Keith walk out
toward me slowly. As the bass hits, both try to resuscitate me, and I
raise my chest to match. I finally inhale my first breath with the music
while my upper body rises in an arch before I sit up.
Both Jamal and Keith take one of my hands, and I spin around to
gracefully allow my feet to touch the ground the first time. Then they
both throw off their robes before they grab mine and rip it off to reveal
my red dress. It flows with the contemporary dance moves we
incorporated into the routine as well as some hip-hop while I first
dance with Jamal and then Keith.
During the chorus we are synchronized in our spins and
movements around one another until the next verse starts. I jump into
Jamal’s arms and wrap my leg around his waist until he dips me down.
Then I flip backwards into Keith’s arms. He spins me in a fast motion
and raises my leg up straight after he stops. I lean back until I fall once
again in Jamal’s arms, and he stands me up facing the audience. Each
one grabs at me from either side of my body to portray fighting for my
attention. When the chorus starts back up, we return to our
synchronized movements until the song slows and they freeze while I
spin and dance independently and the others come out and line the
back wall. The chorus runs through its final set, and we all dance
together to finish out the song.
I think my ears might bleed from the crowd’s screams, but I
couldn’t care less at the moment. I can’t see him because of the bright
lights, but I know Jax is there watching me. I feel alive even though
my heart is beating close to ninety miles an hour. Performing this
dance means so much to me, and I hope Jax understands.
To wake up and live this life I was given. To learn to always get
up even though people try to keep me down. And I plan on doing it
with Jax no matter what happens in the future. I grab Jamal and
Keith’s hands, and we bow before leaving the stage.

I’m speechless as Tru takes a bow and exits the stage. I can’t get
her face or the look of emotions reflecting in her eyes out of my mind.
From the distress in the beginning to the pleasure toward the end, both
are so real and mind blowing.
“She’s awesome, huh?” Jazz whispers from beside me. I just nod
my head as the music department’s band starts their next song.
I look down toward the program to see when Tru’s next
performance is, but I see it’s the last one of the night and it’s a group
performance to
Bangarang
by Skrillex. I do see that Elle is up next,
and she’s doing a solo. Tru says she’s a phenomenal dancer, and I’m
positive she’s the reason David agreed to come tonight.
After the band finishes their performance, the stage darkens and a
spotlight lands on Elle, who stands frozen until the music starts. I
glance at David and he’s watching Elle with a mesmerized look on his
face. I reach over Jazz and punch his arm, but he doesn’t let his eyes
leave the stage.
“Stop it you idiot.” Jazz smacks me while she watches Elle with a
look on her face that is similar to David’s.
I have to admit she’s good, but I’m biased so Tru is better in my
eyes. I can’t wait for this to be over so I can have her all to myself. I
plan on taking her out tonight after the show for dinner. Then we’ll go
to Jay Jay’s with everyone, including Elle and a few others from her
dance team.
Several songs later, the lights go out and the deep bass to Tru’s
next performance starts. I see her come out dressed as Peter Pan and
love her ass in those green tights she’s wearing. I take my eyes off her
ass and see Jamal is Captain Hook, and they are fighting over Elle,
who is Wendy. It’s a fast, upbeat performance that ends with everyone
dancing together and it reminds me of one of the
Step up
movies
McKenzie loves to watch. I wish she was here to see Tru in action,
because she would love this. I’ll have to bring her next year.
We wait in our seats as the crowd leaves before we head out to the
lobby and wait on Tru and the others. When she finally comes out, her
makeup and hair are still from her stage performance, but she’s dressed
in jeans and a jacket to protect her from the chill in the November air.
I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her so I can breathe her
scent in. “Mmmmm, you were awesome on stage, but I love it when
you’re
right here
.”
“Me too.” She kisses me on the lips and smiles up when she looks
at me with happiness shining in her eyes. “Thank you. I had a blast up
there, and having you here supporting me made it so much better.”
“Well, the night isn’t over yet, so I hope you’re hungry and ready
for some more dancing but with me this time.” I grab her hips and
smirk before I dive in and give her the kiss I’ve been thinking of all
night. I feel her shiver as my tongue massages hers. Then I suck it into
my mouth for only a second before we’re rudely interrupted by my
sister. Again.
“Get a room you two...but after we eat because this girl is
starving.” I turn and see her and Mason standing there. She’s tapping
her foot impatiently then grabs his arm before they turn and head out
the door.
“I guess that’s our cue,” I say with playful exasperation in my
voice. “You ready?”
“Yes, but can I head back to the dorm to wash my face? I’ll do my
makeup in your Jeep, and we can just meet everyone at the restaurant.”
I know everyone’s hungry but I don’t mind going back to her
dorm for some alone time. “Sure, I’ll just text everyone on the way.”
I see David headed our way with Jamal and Keith and relay the
message. “Sure, man. Jamal says Elle is going to meet us there too.
She’s actually talking to some scouts, so they’re going to ride with
me.”
“Really?” Tru starts jumping up and down with excitement as she
explains who these scouts are and how important tonight was to Elle. I
glance at David and even though he’s playing it cool, I can tell the
news is bothering him.
We say our goodbyes and head to the Jeep, holding hands. After
helping her in, I head over and get in to crank up the heater. While we
hold hands, she tenderly starts to rub my palm with her fingers, and
I’m still amazed at how my body can stir with one small touch from
this woman. She just continues to hum to the music on the radio and
seems oblivious to the fact that my dick is straining against my pants.
“I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten all day because I was so nervous
about tonight’s performance. Well, besides the muffin you bought this
morning.” She glances my way as we pull in and park the Jeep in front
of her dorm building.
My earlier plans to get her naked are put on the back burner
because she needs to eat first. “Well go and wash your face and come
back down so we can get you something. You’re going to need all the
energy you can get for tonight’s next performance.” I wag my
eyebrows and know she’s blushing even though it’s dark out. She’s so
easy to embarrass.
She leans over the center console and gives me a kiss that makes
me rethink my last thought, but she pulls away and exits the Jeep
before I can act on it. I watch her ass sway as she heads inside, and I
decide now is a good time to text everyone that we’ll meet them there.