Learning to Live (27 page)

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let’s go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start

When he finishes the last verse, I hear the crowd going wild and
notice I’m at the front of the stage. I stand there staring at Benji, who
looks so empty compared to his earlier smile as he stares down at me. I
feel strong arms around me and turn to stare into Jax’s deep brown
eyes that look past me and right at Benji. His eyes narrow before he
turns us toward the bar and we walk off so I can finish my shift and
leave. I look over my shoulder one last time and Benji’s gone.

After another hour I’m finally clear to go home for the night and
head to the party at Jax’s. I’m still touched by Benji’s song, and I know
it’s his way of apologizing, but I hate that I unintentionally hurt him. I
also know that Jax is pissed and doesn’t know what to make of it, but I
don’t know how to explain it to him because I never told him about the
kiss. Besides that, Benji has demons like I do, so I understand him
better than Jax does, even though I don’t know what his demons entail.

We finally reach the house and it’s packed, but I’m tired and
confused. I really don’t feel like partying. Jax must feel the same way
because he turns toward me and grabs my hand before he kisses my
knuckles. “You sure you’re up for a crowd tonight?”

My smile is small when I look into his eyes. “Not really. It’s been
a long night. Plus, I feel sticky from a drink that spilled all over me
earlier.” I shrug because I don’t want to leave him, but his place is
crowded with people. “Do you want to go back to my place?” It’s
midnight but I can sneak him in anyways.

“Yeah, but only for a minute. Let’s pack you a bag then go get a
hotel somewhere. Is that cool?”
I smile because he always knows how to make me happy.
“Perfect.” I lean over and kiss his soft lips while I rub my palm over
the whiskers on his cheek. When his tongue invades my mouth, I suck
on it like I did to another part of his anatomy earlier.
He moans while he holds my hair tight in his fist before he gives
me one last caress of his tongue and nibbles my bottom lip. “We better
hurry so we can continue,” he brings his mouth down to kiss my neck
before he whispers, “
this
.”
I quiver with excitement the whole way to the dorm and then to
the hotel. He inserts the room key and I hear the click as the light turns
green, and then he opens the door. I try to walk through but Jax stops
me and lifts me bridal style before he carries me in.
After he closes the door with his foot, he places me on my feet
and wraps me in an embrace that has become my favorite position with
him. My arms are around his waist and my head rests on his chest as I
listen to his heart while he soothingly rubs my back.
I exhale and feel myself relax fully for the first time in my life. I
take a deep breath to gain my composure, and my next breath feels like
my first. I feel so alive in his arms and protected like nobody can hurt
me. I’ve lived in fear for so long that this feeling is so foreign and
overwhelming my eyes start to burn with tears.
He pulls back and looks at me with concern. “Hey, what’s
wrong?” he asks, wiping my tears.
I smile because I’m happy and nothing can ruin that right now.
“I’m just really happy.” I shrug my shoulder and walk over to grab a
tissue from the bedside table. I finally look at the room and notice the
king size bed with the white, down comforter and dark wooden
headboard. There’s a red blanket folded at the bottom and a red rose on
the pillows. From what I can see the counters on the vanity area are
granite and holds his and her sinks. It’s the nicest room I’ve ever
stayed in, and I have a feeling he planned this.
He comes behind me and wraps his arms around my waist while
he nuzzles my neck. “I’m glad because I’ve vowed to always make
you happy the rest of your life.”
I take a breath to tell him how I feel. I’m scared but he gives me
courage. “I love you, Jax. I want you to know that. It’s not easy for me
to say, but I do. What you saw tonight with Benji, I think it was his
way of letting go of the idea of him and me together.” I turn in his
arms and look up in his beautiful brown and golden eyes and lean in
for a kiss. I kiss his chin first and feel the tickle from his facial hair. I
reach his lips and let our tongues dance for only a second before I pull
away remembering I smell and need a shower.
He keeps his arms around me before I can pull away. “I love you
too, Tru. I never thought I could feel so fucking much so soon, but I
knew when I saw you that first day you were meant for me. So if
there’s
anything
you need or want, please just ask. I want to make you
happy and provide for you.” He gives me a kiss on the tip of my nose
before he turns me around and smacks my butt. “Now, I think we both
need a bath.” He disappears into the bathroom, and I hear the water
start up.
I grab the bag off the floor where he left it and see his sitting
beside mine. It confirms that he was planning to stay at a hotel because
it was already in his Jeep before he came to pick me up. I start to grab
some clothes and squeal when I’m lifted in the air unexpectedly and
thrown over his shoulder. “I can walk, Jax.” I’m giggling now while
admiring the view of his cute tight ass that looks great in his dress
slacks. I can’t help but pinch it and laugh harder as he yelps.
“You think that’s funny? How’s this feel?” I feel his palm caress
my butt cheek through my shorts before I feel the sting from the smack
he gives me. He palms it softly again before he places me on my feet.
I’m still laughing because he is such a big kid sometimes it’s
endearing, but then the laughter ceases when I see that feral look in his
eyes. My body wakes up as I become flushed. I feel hot and it’s not
from the bath he’s drawn or the steam in the room, but from the look
of pure hunger that ignites me so easily.
I love that fact I make him look like that. I straighten my
shoulders and decide to take control tonight because I want to drive
him crazy. I look in his eyes and back away slowly to stand in front of
the full length mirror. This way he sees the front and back at the same
time. I reach up and untwist my hair, letting it fall down in waves. I
pull my shirt slowly over my head, but music starts playing. I see Jax
has his phone out and then hear a song that was really popular in
Atlanta:
Wicked Games
by The Weeknd. Now I’m definitely in the
mood to drive him crazy because this song could bring out the stripper
in a nun.
I see him staring at my breasts that are covered in a black lacy bra.
I take one hand while I rock my hips to the slow beat and run my
fingers through my hair and slowly slide them down my neck before I
use both hands to cup my breasts and pinch my nipples. I watch his
throat work as I squeeze them together and bite my lip because I am so
wet from just watching his expression. Slowly running my hands down
my stomach, I pause over where my shorts meet my hips and slowly
push them down my legs. I’m wearing the flip flops I grabbed while I
packed, so I just slip out of them with my shorts and step out before I
kick them to the side. I turn around and face the mirror in only my bra
and matching thong and hold his stare. His eyes watch me as I reach
around and unclasp my bra. Letting it drop to the ground, I keep my
breasts covered with my hands. His eyes roam over my body and stop
on my ass. Just to drive him crazy, I let go and place my fingers in the
sides of my thong and slowly push it down my hips, but I keep my legs
straight so he gets a full view as I bend over.
“You are so fucking sexy, Tru.” I lift my head, still bent over at the
waist, and look at him through the mirror and see him right behind me
with his hands on my hips. He pulls my ass back, and I can feel his
erection as he thrusts and rubs himself all over me. “I want you so
fucking bad, baby.” His voice is rough with raw hunger, and the sound
brings more wetness between my legs. I feel as though it’s dripping
down my thighs, and I can’t wait to feel him sliding in deep.
I stand up and turn around to admire this man that can cause me to
melt at the same time he builds me up. I grab his shirt and rip it from
his body. Buttons fall and hit the ground around us. I couldn’t care less
because I’m craving him. Every glorious inch.
He stands perfectly still as I bend forward to lick his neck while
working his belt loose, then I proceed to slowly unzip his pants. I
reach in and grab his dick and start to stroke him as my mouth travels
down his tanned, muscled chest, and I can’t help but swirl my tongue
around his tight nipples. I look at him through my lashes and see his
nostrils flaring and know he’s about to lose control.
I work my way farther down, savoring every inch of his skin. I
lick and bite until I hit my knees and finally unbutton his slacks. As
they fall to the floor, I look up and see him watching through the
mirror, so I spread my legs farther apart and arch my back like a cat
while I take him into my mouth. I feel his dick twitch as I swirl my
tongue from base to tip and rub on the underside a few extra times,
hitting his sensitive spot. I repeat the same rhythm and start caressing
his balls gently. His hands land in my hair, gripping my scalp, as he
thrust his hips and grunts in satisfaction.
“Tru, you gotta stop.” But I ignore his breathy plea and continue
my ministrations, even though I gag a few times. I want him to lose it
tonight. Before I can go down again on his length, he steps away and
easily picks me up to a standing position. I smile shamelessly because
I love the intensity I see in his black eyes.
He lifts me up and presses my back against the cold mirror. I don’t
mind the coldness against my back because my body is on fire with
want. I need to be as close to him as I can, so I wrap my legs around
his waist to rub my wet center against him and get rewarded with a
deep, vibrating growl. He maneuvers us so he holds my waist with my
legs draped over his elbows. Then I feel him fill me.
I can’t help but moan as I take in his width and dig my fingers into
his shoulders as I hold on. “Take it, baby. You can fucking take all of
it.” He thrusts slowly at first and our tongues battle for each other’s
souls. He already has mine though.
I feel my orgasm building, but I need more.“Harder, Jax. I need it
harder.” I’m panting and sweat is rolling off our bodies, but we won’t
stop for anything. Not even air.
“I know what you need.” He braces me more securely with one
arm and takes his free hand and grabs my breast. “All this is mine,
Tru.” His hand descends lower, and I feel his touch on my clit and feel
my orgasm about to surface. “And this sweet pussy is mine too.”
He’s pounding into me and the combination with his fingers
causes an earth shattering, out of body experience. My body convulses
but I can feel him kiss my neck before he explodes within me while
shouting my name.

An hour later we are finally dozing off while we hold each other’s
naked bodies. I feel myself drifting into slumber thinking that nothing
can ruin this night or any night that I have Jax beside me...until four in
the morning when the phone rings and I feel my heart break all over
again.