Lasting Attraction (Cassie Series) (12 page)

             
"I'm fine Avery. I just tripped, I didn't hit my stomach or anything." I can hear a thickness in her voice that wasn't there even a second ago, and I can tell she is holding back some serious emotion. I wish I wasn’t so drunk so it were easier to comfort her. Then again, her tripping sobered me up quite a bit.

             
I start to stand and I pull at Cassie's arm so she stands with me. "Let's lay you down, angel."

             
"Ah, ah- okay," she stutters.

             
I start walking to the two of us towards my room. She doesn't argue but I can feel the her resistance, like she is unsure if this is where she should be going. I turn the light on and see that my bed has been slept in by someone other than myself. I clear my throat and look at Cassie who is currently chewing her lip and avoiding eye contact. Instead of embarrassing her, I walk with her towards the bed and pull the covers back, letting her climb in. I strip from my jeans and tee-shirt, plug my cellphone in and turn off the light, then I lay down beside her.

             
"Avery, I really am not-"

             
"Shh, I know, Cass."

             
I wrap my arm around her, spooning her back side. Without too much thought, I start humming out a tune that I know she doesn't know. A song I've been working on for far too long. A song that I know is far from perfect, since I'm nothing close to a song writer, but a song written just for Cassie. For Cassie and I. For my angel. For the girl, who I'm not sure I have or that I’ve lost forever.

             
"
Mmm, because everything I need is... Oh, everything I need is... for you to know."

             
"Know what?" Cassie whispers.

             
I pull her closer to me and rest my hand on her stomach. "I'll explain tomorrow. Good night angel." I kiss behind her ear and close my eyes. "Goodnight sweet baby." I rub her belly softly before sleep decides to find me.

             
I wake up before Avery and climb out of bed, even though it was the last thing I actually wanted to be doing. I just couldn't hold in my pee any longer. I was seconds away from wetting the bed. With Avery's hand on my stomach all night, no matter which way I turned, it just put too much pressure on my bladder and I woke up sweating, with the need to pee. It's the first time I felt pregnant, minus the sickness.

             
Tomorrow Pierce is supposed to come home, but who even knows since he hasn't even called me. I haven't called him either, but I'm still angry that he hung up on me. Not only that, but spending time with Aubrey yesterday was the best thing I could have done. She and I together decided what needed to be done. I need to leave him. He isn't who I want to be with for the rest of my life.

             
Although, I do want to spend forever with Avery, I'm not sure that will work either. I don't know what is going on with his fighting, whether he really quit or if he got himself back into the qualifying. I'm not sure if he is planning on sticking around or leaving to go somewhere else. I know he seems connected to the baby, he showed that last night, but if its not his, I'm not sure if he will change his mind and it'll be too much.

             
I've started to not care who the father is, although deep down I've been hoping it's Avery. What I really care about is having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I care that no matter who the father is, that they're involved in his or her life. That the baby is cherished, loved, and taken care of forever. That as parents, whoever the father is, that we can get along for the babies sake, whether we're together or not.

             
So my decision is not to make a decision. To break it off with Pierce, and keep my distance the best I can from both guys. At least until the paternity test. But I'm not going to jump into a relationship because of who the dad is or is not.

             
After my coffee and shower, I get dressed and call my mom to see what she has been up to today. I need to tell her and dad the news still, but I've been nervous. Aubrey cried, but I wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness. She said she can't wait for me to experience the first time I hold my child, and that she better be there for it. Of course she will be. We may have become distant since she became a mother, but not enough for us to not still be like sisters.

             
My mom answers the phone and says that she is going to be home all day, so I tell her I'll be over for lunch. Next I call my dad, even though I'm still angry with him- and yes, I know I need to get over it, but he is my father and hurt both my mother and I, so its been hard to just accept what he did. He answers and says he would like me over for dinner with him and Trish. Oh, and he said they would like Avery to attend since he is in town for only a few more days.

             
I'm still unsure if he has decided to go back to fighting, or they just don't know he quit. I want to climb back into bed with him, since it's still pretty early in the morning, but at the same time I know maybe its for the best I don't. He was drunk, I was vulnerable and upset, so last night was under different circumstances. If I went and climbed into his bed right now, I can imagine that it would just make everything worse.

             
Netflix until its time to go to my mom's it is.

             
As I'm sitting on the couch, engrossed in some
Hart of Dixie
, Avery comes stumbling out of the bedroom, mumbling about his head hurting and needing coffee. I'm hyperaware of him but I keep my focus solely on the TV, as if he doesn't even exist. Minutes later he is sitting on the other end of the couch with a cup of coffee, watching the show with me but not saying anything to me. He still hasn't slid on any pants or shirt, so he is just hanging out in his boxer briefs, and I can't help the fact its turning me on greatly. Again, I do my best to ignore him, and the feelings taking over between my legs.

             
When the show is finished, I look at the time and see its nearing on lunch and I don't have time to start another episode. I look over at Avery and try not to laugh at the fact he looks like the hottest mess I've ever seen. He looks over at me and smiles softly but doesn't say anything. I stand up, step over his legs, and walk towards my bedroom to get my shoes and purse. When I'm heading towards the door, he turns his body and faces me.

             
"Where are you going?"

             
I look over at him and my heart rate speeds up. "My mom's for lunch, to tell her about..." I look down at my stomach for a second then back to him. "The situation."

             
"The situation?" He lifts a brow and snorts out a dry laugh. "How about, the pregnancy."

             
"Well, it is a little bit more than that."

             
"Only when you make it more than that," he throws back.

             
"Not knowing the father. Plus, being with one and in love with the other. Sorry, its a
situation
." I don't realize quite what I say until after it slips out and Avery starts coughing, as if choking on his coffee, although he didn't have any in his mouth. Shit. "Pretend I didn't say that." I walk out the door before he can say anything to me.

             
My phone starts to ring before I even have the keys in the ignition and I look down to see Avery's name. I'm scared to pick up the phone but I do anyways. "Yeah?" My voice comes out rough.

             
"Wait."

             
"For what?"

             
"Me. I'm coming outside, wait for me." I start to tell him I don't have time- which is a complete lie- when he pleads in a soft voice. "Please, angel?"

             
I sigh and shake my head. "You have three minutes and I'm leaving." I hang up the phone and drop it into the cup holder, my heart pounding in my chest. Why does he want to go with me to my mothers, to tell her I'm pregnant! Ugh!

             
He opens the door the exact second the clock shows its been three minutes, so I start the car and he hurries to close the door. "Perfect timing," he says with a giant grin on his face.

             
"Where are you going?" I ask as I back up.

             
When he doesn't answer me even after I've starting driving towards my mom's, I take a glimpse over at him. He didn't even bother brushing his hair or teeth, that much is certain of, he just smells somewhere between a bar and the sexy masculine scent he normally has. At least he changed his shirt. I lift a brow before looking out the front window again, wondering why he won't answer me.

             
Finally he speaks but I'm not sure if I care for the answer. "With you. I don't have to be there when you actually tell your mom, but I want to go there with you anyways."

             
"Why?" I ask him. I really want to know this answer, even though I shouldn't care at the moment.

             
"Because you basically admitted that you want to be with me and not Pierce. Because I know now, deep down, you want me to be the father. Because I want to be the father. Because I want to spend forever with you, even if I'm not."

             
My car swerves but I hurry to straighten the wheel as my cheeks warm up at what Avery just said. I can't help my voice from coming out hoarse when I speak next. "What are you saying, Avery?"

             
"Do I need to spell it out for you? I fucking love you, Cassie. I'm sorry. I really am sorry for being such a jackass, and I know I say that to you a lot. This shit over the last, what? Almost two years, now? Yeah, it needs to come to an end. It was fucked up, everything’s been fucked up, but all it has done has made me see that you and I, Cassie. You and I are meant to be together. It’s you and me forever, if you'll have me. I don't care if Pierce is the father, hell I don't care if it’s someone else's. I. Just. Want. You."

             
"I don't know what to say right now, Avery." God, I feel like the world's worse bitch, per usual. I want to tell him he's mine. I want to tell him I want him forever. I want to tell him how amazing I think he is, and how I love him more than I love myself. I just can't... yet. Not until I talk with my parents, talk with Pierce, and then really sit down and talk to Avery about it all. I need him to finally, for once, prove to me that it's me... and just me. That he means what he says. He has said a lot of the world's sweetest things, but he has said some of the nastiest things, too.

             
Not that I haven't.

             
He is right. This shit over the last couple years is beyond ridiculous. I'm ready to throw in the towel as well.

             
He doesn't respond, and I don't say more. We just continue the short trip to my mom's with the music on low. I hear Avery hum out a few songs, and he seems in a decent mood, so I decide we're in a decent place for now.

             
My mom rains my face in kisses when she opens the door. The past few weeks, she has been in the honey moon stage of her relationship, and all her time seems to be consumed completely by Jerry. I don't mind because I'm happy for them! It just sucks how alone I've felt. Well, to a point. I've had Pierce up until this week, so its this week I've felt alone. Amy is spending most of the summer in South Carolina with her aunt and cousin, Aubrey has Mason and Dakota and are trying to make a life with one another. My mom has Jerry, Avery's been fighting, and I don't like to see my dad much. Oh, and as for Carson and Shey, they have been back and forth with their families and one another. So yeah, its nice to spend time with my mom finally, even if Avery is tagging along.

             
She pulls aside to allow me to enter, says hello to Avery, then we walk out back to her little oasis of a sandy back yard. Jerry is there, laying on the chase lounger and reading on an e-reader. I almost have to laugh seeing him in old man glasses and knowing he is reading a book. I snicker at the thought of him reading something like the Fifty Shades trilogy.