Lasting Attraction (Cassie Series) (9 page)

             
I wake up before Avery and I'm still snuggled up to his side. We're both sitting and my neck hurts, so I slowly adjust myself to be more comfortable. His arm comes around and holds onto me. It's one of the most comforting things, so I embrace in it.

             
He adjusts his body and I'm pretty sure he is awake, but I don't bother letting on with the fact I am too. When his hand reaches up and starts to play with the ends of my hair, I know for certain he is awake. "Cassie," he whispers. Its no use in pretending to be asleep, so I twist my head to look at him.

             
He is smiling down at me but I can tell he is confused about me lying here. I smile back up at him. My heart decides to play games and thuds a little harder, while the pit of my stomach gets these insane tingles inside it. The feelings are different than what I'm used to. Avery is right next to me but I feel as though I've lost him. As if he is on the road, miles away from me, just as he's been the last three months.

             
"Hey," I say after a couple of awkward moments.

             
He chuckles so softly I almost don't hear it. "Good morning. What are you doing out here?"

             
Why is it that that question hurts me so much? I answer it regardless. "I came out last night to get some milk and saw you sleeping here. I just... I don't know." I look down, embarrassed in remembering that I had been watching him.

             
He hand reaches out and lays upon my stomach. "Let’s get you food."

             
Can it really be that easy between us?

             
Well, no, not right now. "Oh, I can't, I have plans for lunch with Aubrey today." And it must be after nine.

             
"It's seven and you need to eat." It's only seven? Ugh. I want to go back to bed already just knowing how early it is. I can see the amusement in his eyes, he knows I don't like to wake up early. "Let's go, I'm not saying it again. I'll bring you out with me looking just like that."

             
"Wait, we're going out?"

             
"Yeah, I have plans for us. Go get showered, I'll have the coffee ready when you get out, and while I'm in the shower you can get ready. I have a couple places I want us to go."

             
I stand up and stretch, getting the knots and kinks out from the way I was slept, then I do as I'm ordered. With a smile on my face.

             
Once we're both showered and ready for the day, we head outside together, walking side by side but not holding our hands. I spot his motorcycle and since it’s a gorgeous day out, I make my way towards it. "What the fuck do you do think you're doing?" he says.

             
I turn towards him, questioning why he'd be so pissed about us going on his motorcycle. He has been gone for three months, you'd think he'd want to ride that thing as much as possible. "Uh," I point to it, "thought we could ride on it. I even wore sneakers."

             
"You're fucking pregnant, Cassie, no. Hell no. You're not allowed on any motorcycle." After a moment he yells out a few curses under his breath, but instead of questioning what else has him pissed, I walk towards my car, pouting, and slide into the passenger seat. I love that he has no problems driving my car.

             
We go to a small diner that sells the greasiest of breakfasts and I'm not shy about what I eat. Some of the mixed smells in the diner make my stomach queasy, but thankfully I don't actually become nauseous. I find myself laughing a lot as Avery tells me stories over our time lost, about things him and his new buddies did. We ignore everything going on right now and focus on the good.

             
When we leave the diner, I ask Avery where we're going but he doesn't tell me, instead we continue to drive. We pull into a car dealership and I look over at him questioningly. "What are we doing here?"

             
He tilts his head in my direction and smiles. "I can't put a baby on the back of the bike."

             
As I start to smile over that thought, its then I realize he doesn't know. He doesn't have a clue that it’s only a
maybe
. "Avery, you do... um... can you just stop driving for a second." His smile falters but he continues to drive until he is near the doors of the dealership.

             
When he puts it in park, he looks over at me and reaches for my hand. "Cassie, don't talk me out of this, okay angel? I want to trade it in. I know I was an ass walking out of the room yesterday, but it doesn't mean I don't want to be in this baby’s life. I do. And if you want to," he looks away from me, "be with Pierce still, I understand." He looks back at me with a much sadder smile. "I still want to be involved in his or her life."

             
A few tears shed, because how could they not? But for more than one reason. Mostly because that was the sweetest thing he could have ever said to me, but also because he really doesn't know its only a possibility, and I'm about to break his heart. "Avery, I'm thirteen weeks."

             
He nods his head. "Yeah, I was at the appointment with you."

             
"Yeah, and thirteen weeks ago you walked out on me."

             
He tilts his head seconds before reality hits him. "Is... who’s... wait, what are you... Angel..."

             
"Stop. I don't know yet. It'll about nine more weeks and we can all have a DNA test." Here I go again. At least Avery can't hang up on me like Pierce did.

             
He continues to stare at me as if I'm an alien life form. I can't bring myself to say or do anything. Finally, after what takes way too long, Avery decides to speak. And once again, he is ripping my heart open. "You know, I was planning on trading my motorcycle in because no matter what Cass, no matter what happens between us, I wanted that child to be mine. I thought this was it for us. Fuck," he mutters, "I even called my agent and told him I was dropping the contract."

             
"What?" I yell out, focusing on that last part but he keeps going as if I never interrupted.

             
"I thought that maybe, just fucking maybe, we could work shit out. I thought I had a purpose in my god damn life. You want to know what the biggest mistake I ever made was? It wasn't trusting you or loving you, it wasn't fucking Katie or any other bitch, it wasn't leaving to follow my dreams... no... my biggest fucking mistake was ever coming back to you."

             
If that didn't feel like a punch to the gut.

             
Just as the salesman comes to the window, Avery puts my car in reverse and backs away. I'm so dumbfounded in the moment, I just sit here and replay everything he just said. Glad I didn't tell him I wanted him... and only him. It's obvious that it'll never work out that way. Fuck this shit. I just stare out the window.

             
I mean, yes, of course its my fault that I went back and forth between the two of them. I understand that. I know I did wrong, but its not my fault that my birth control decided to fail at the worst given time! I use it the same time, every day, and I never miss a day. I'm pretty sure the last time I missed a pill was around three years ago. I'm religious with it. I should have used backed up, like a condom, but I've been having sex with Avery and Pierce for so long, it just didn't cross my mind I'd end up pregnant. More than that, I never, not once, thought I'd be confused on who the father of my baby is.

             
But like many other times, everything comes crashing down on me. Karma. Got to fucking love that bitch.

             
The entire drive back to the apartment is quite and awkward. One step forward, two steps back, each and every time. You'd think I learned my lesson with things, but of course I haven't. Once we get back to the parking lot, Avery turns off the car and gets out. I start to follow after him but pause as he straddles his motorcycle. He takes off without a second look in my direction and I'm left with my heart constricting.

             
Since its not much longer before I have to meet Aubrey anyways, I turn right back around and climb into the driver seat- just to find out that Avery took my keys with him. Fucking wonderful.

             
I'm sitting in the conference room, trying to go through the last of the paperwork to begin the merger between the two companies. Everything so far has gone perfectly, and I can't believe we got so lucky to find a company to merge with, that will not only expand our company, but will expand our finances as well.

             
The thing is, I can't fucking concentrate because I keep replaying the conversation between Cassie and I. I feel like such a prick for not calling her back, hell, I feel like a prick for hanging up on her. What was I supposed to say? What will I say when I finally call? How come she hasn't called me back? I've been rushing all this damn stuff so I can hurry up and get back home, just so I can discuss this with her in person. I need to figure out what is going on with us.

             
"What is going on with you lately?" I look up as Miah walks in and sits down adjacent to me, crossing her legs and fixing her skirt. It's hard not to stare at those long legs of hers but I look away, knowing now isn't the time.

             
I clear my throat, still not looking at her. "My girlfriend's pregnant." I look down and pretend to start fixing papers on table, fixing piles that are already tidy, and moving things that don't need to be moved. Anything to avoid contact with her. When nothing is said a couple minutes later, I finally look back up. She looks confused, maybe even a little hurt.

             
"Oh," she whispers before straightening her back out some and cocking her head to the side. "So... you're not happy?"

             
"Don't get me wrong, having a child, one with Cassie nonetheless, its wonderful. Its just..." Shit, how do I tell her without her judging Cassie? No matter what she has done, I still want to protect her with everything inside me. Its embedded in me to protect and love that girl.

             
Miah's brow raises and she looks to be thinking. Yeah, I can see where she could be confused. Finding out that I have a girlfriend as well as finding out that she is pregnant. "Pierce, please, I know we're only in a professional business relationship, but you can speak with me. I'm a female, I can probably give you some insight you wouldn't get anywhere else."

             
With a huff of air, I finally open up to someone. I've needed to. I keep taking all my frustrations out on Cassie, and although when we make up its fucking fantastic, I always feel like shit afterward. "Three months ago her ex-boyfriend left, we started dating right after."

             
"Okay?" She questions before her eyes enlarge in size. "And she is around three months, I presume."

             
I give her a curt nod and fall down into the chair, running my hands over my face in frustration. "I don't know what the fuck to do!"

             
"The best way to answer that question is by asking yourself this, if she is pregnant with her ex's child, could you look pass that? Could you still be with her?"

             
I drop my hands into my lap and stare at her. "Well yeah. I love Cassie."

             
"I didn't ask if you love her. I'm telling you to really think about it. Could you be okay with them having a child together and you just being her boyfriend? They are going to have a special bond that you're always going to be distanced from."

             
"Fuck," I whisper under my breath. I didn't think about that shit. Of course I didn't. Mostly because I don't want that shit to be true. "I don't know," I tell her honestly. "Her and Avery, they just... I'm kind of already the fucking odd ball. Cassie and I were just hooking up at first- me to piss Avery off, Cassie because she just needed to release her tension. We used each other then we fell in love. Now I can't picture my future without her."