Knave of Broken Hearts (21 page)

His lips turned up, but it hurt. “Ten years is no weekend. Plus now that I’m finally admitting what would have been obvious to someone with double cataracts, I’m hung up on the gay player of the century, who I can never have and who bears an uncanny resemblance to a yaoi character I shared with Hiro. Hell, call in the fucking Freudians. I can fail at anything.”

Ian gazed at the bedspread with him, then grabbed a handful of cloth in his fist. “So don’t fail. Go get him.”

“To coin a crappy phrase, it’s complicated.”

“Most shit worth having is.”

“Write that on an inspirational poster.” Ian frowned, and Jim touched his arm. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to be nasty. But as you may recall, my date wasn’t with him. I was out with a perfectly nice woman who happens to own the damned building I’m working on and, if I suddenly up and tell her I’m gay, I could lose Billy’s job. On top of that, Ken is Japanese, or at least his mother is, and she wants him to be with somebody who is not me. There’s more, but that’s the short version.”

Ian frowned and nodded, all solution-oriented. “Okay, so it’s not clean and clear, but it doesn’t sound insurmountable if you both want to be together.”

“I don’t have any reason to think Ken wants to be with me enough to defy his family. And I can’t let Billy down, kid. Making a go of this job is, like, the only chance I have.”

Ian sat up. “No way. You’re smart and talented.”

He shook his head. “Thanks. But not if I fuck this up. I know I can’t live through it. I screwed over Hiro. I can’t do the same to Billy.”

“Jesus, Jim.”

“Yeah.”

“H
EY
,
MAN
,
you okay?”

Jim rose from the electrical circuit he was wiring like a zombie attacker. “Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that?”

Raoul held up his hands. “No worries, man. You just look like fifty yards of ugly road.”

Get a grip.
Jim shrugged. “That’s normal.”

“No. You usually only look like twenty-five yards of ugly, man.”

“Well, you ought to know.” He patted Raoul’s sleeve. “I’m fine. Just not used to the responsibility, you know?”

“Yeah, man. That makes sense. But you’re doing a great job. Hell, that boss lady’s gonna give us so much work, Billy will have to deck out his house with solid gold faucets and shit.”

Okay, that just slammed the jail cell. “Yeah.” He turned back to his wiring.

Condemned to heterosexuality. Sentenced to a life without Ken. Hell, he’d earned it. How hard had he worked his whole life to never have anybody think he was gay? Not consciously maybe, but hindsight wore contact lenses. Become a construction worker. Be a ladies’ man. Toss back Jack and yell for football. Macho bullshit he’d chosen. He sighed. Ken had said Jim owed him big time. True. He owed Ken the shitty realization that he’d likely never be happy in his entire life. They weren’t kidding when they said ignorance is bliss.

He stood and looked around at the suite. It was going to be great. At least he’d have that. Fuckup Jim Carney did one good job. “You guys going to get some lunch? Maybe you could bring me a—”

The door to the suite opened and Billy stepped in, smiling like a loon.

Holy shit.
“Billy, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

The other guys stopped hammering. “Billy!”

“Hey, man.”

Jim crossed to Billy and gave him the one-armed guy hug, but he got a full-on embrace that swallowed him up in return. “Everything’s fine. Shaz got a bad sunburn, and we both missed being at home. We’re going to take the last few days of our honeymoon in Laguna Beach. Hell, we both work all the time, so we don’t really get to appreciate where we live.”

“That’s great, Billy. Did you have fun before the sunburn?”

The other guys had crowded around and gave Billy hugs and pats.

His blue eyes lit up. “It was amazing. Gorgeous beaches, and the fish! Man, they’re indescribable. So I’ll show you a bunch of pictures as soon as I sort through them and delete about five hundred.”

They all laughed.

“Enough about me. Tell me about this.” He spun in a circle and pointed at the suite.

Charlie laughed. “Jim’s little surprise.”

“I’ll say. Why are we working up here? The guys in the lobby suite just said you were on the eighth floor.”

Jim glanced at his shoes. “She switched tenants on us. Or rather, moved the original downstairs tenant up here and added a new tenant down there.”

“So that means we’re doing twice the work?”

“Yep.” Jim grinned.

“Did Brian do this design? It’s great.”

Charlie obviously couldn’t wait to tell him. “Nope. When Jim found out the whole deal was different, he tried to call your architect, but the guy was gone. That was a bad moment, I wanna tell you.”

“Oh right. Brian said he was leaving the same time we were so that he’d be back to work on new projects.”

Raoul laughed. “Jim thought he was screwed, man. But he’s got this smart brother and he found this architect, and the boss lady loved it, and—”

Billy laughed. “See, I told you I left the right guy in charge.”

Man, that made him feel great.

Billy looked around at the crew. “I’ve got to hear the whole story. Why don’t we all go out for beers after work and share adventures? The company will buy.”

The suite door opened and Constance walked in. “Mr. Ballew. You’re back. Welcome.”

Billy smiled. “Hello, Ms. Murch. Thank you.”

She walked up and patted Jim’s arm. Billy’s eyes widened. “I’m sure you can see what an amazing job Jim and his crew have done in your absence.”

Can I crawl under a rock?

“Yes, I can. But I never doubted it.”

“You left me in very good hands. Has Jim told you about the future work we’ve discussed?”

Man, she was rubbing it in. Billy looked wide-eyed. “No. I just got here. I imagine he’ll surprise me some more any minute.”

She smiled at Jim. “I don’t want to interrupt your welcome home. I was just checking on Friday.”

Jim didn’t blush easily, but this was the moment. “Uh, no decision yet.”

“Shall I call you later?”

“Yes. That would be fine.”

“Good.” She stepped back and let go of Jim’s arm. “Welcome, again, Mr. Ballew.”

“Billy.”

“Yes, Billy. And please call me Constance. Maybe you and Jim can have lunch with me soon to discuss the additional projects I have in mind.”

“I’d be delighted.”

“Yes. We’ll talk soon, Jim.” She turned and clicked her very fashionable heels out of the suite.

The guys clearly held their collective breath for a full minute; then they erupted in cat calls and whistles. “Somebody’s got a girlfriend. Way to go, Hound Dog.”

“Pretty sneaky, turning on the charm for the boss there, Carney.”

Jim tried to smile and glanced at Billy, who was grinning, but there were a hundred questions in his eyes. “Looks like we have more to talk about after work than fish.”

“S
O
THEY
’
VE
got fish that look like yellow angels and striped fish and bright orange, and—”

Jim tried to look at Billy’s pictures of fish, but his eyes kept straying to the shots of Jack Daniels in front of Charlie, Raoul, Harry, and a couple of the other carpenters who’d joined them. Jim swirled his ginger ale. Shit, Billy was back now. He could relax a little. Let the boss take the reins. No reason to be all holier than thou, like Peggy said.

The waiter walked by, and Jim snagged his apron. “Hey, man, I think I will have a beer and a shot.”

“Sure. I’ll get it right away.”

He looked up and found Charlie staring at him. “You sure you wanna do that, buddy? You been doing really good.”

Jim frowned. “Hey, why can’t I have a drink to celebrate with the rest of you?”

“No reason.” Charlie held up a hand. “You know best.”

He took a big swallow of ginger ale. He hated this swill. Hell, he could get work for Billy just by being Hound Dog Jim Carney. He didn’t have to have any talent or reliability. He could just fuck his way to the top.

The waiter brought the beer first, and Jim took the glass from the man’s hand and drank half of it in one swallow. Bitter. Especially after the soda. But it’d taste real sweet after a couple more swallows. He took another drink, not so big this time. Warmth spread through his veins. Nice. Soon females would look real good.

Billy said, “I want to hear about how you got the great design for the upstairs suite.”

Jim didn’t have to say a word. The guys plunged in and told Billy about Ian and how talented he was and how he came up with this great idea and how Jim found this architect who drew the plans. Yeah, Jim didn’t have any of the skill. He just had to go suck off a doctor so he could get a good architect to work for him.

The waiter brought his shot. Jim stared at it as the guys talked and talked.
Come to Daddy, Jackie-poo.
He slid the slim glass closer and stuck his tongue into the amber liquid.
Oh yeah.

Suddenly a big hand snatched the glass out from under his chin, and Jim watched Billy drink the liquid down. Jim slapped a hand on the table. “Hey, what the hell?”

“Can’t have my supervisor hungover tomorrow. I’m still on my honeymoon. I need you clear-headed.”

For a second Jim wanted to hit Billy. That was fucked up. He nodded. “Sure. You’re right. Sorry.”

Billy smiled. “You’re doing an amazing job. Thank you.”

Jim smiled back. Maybe that made it all worth it.

“I got a text this afternoon from Constance Murch. She wants to have lunch tomorrow to discuss new work.”

“That’s great. I’m really glad. You’ll like her. She’s an okay lady.”

“She wants to meet with both of us.”

His stomach hit his shoes. “Oh.”

“You busy at lunch tomorrow?”

He curved his lips up, but they felt real heavy. “I guess I am now.”

J
IM
TWIRLED
his iced tea glass and watched Constance and Billy laughing at Billy’s story about dropping binoculars in the ocean when he saw a whale. “I was so amazed, I let go of the things and splash, gone to the fishes. My husband tried to pay the boat captain, but I guess it’s not that infrequent an occurrence.”

She nodded. “They should have supplied a neck cord with those binoculars.”

“I guess they figured they were safe with a big guy like me. I’m not usually so clumsy, but the whale won.”

She sipped her tea. “I introduced Jim to my father.” Billy glanced at Jim real quickly, then back at Constance. Constance grinned at Jim. “He’s a very successful developer.”

Billy nodded. “Of course, everyone knows Alex Murch.”

“I think you’d be a good resource for him.” She looked down, then directly at Billy. “He has certain prejudices about homosexuality, however, so I think it’s best if Jim does a lot of the interaction. They really hit it off, so that shouldn’t be a hardship.”

Billy glanced at his tea, at Jim, then back at Constance. “I don’t hide who I am, and I wouldn’t want to misrepresent me or my firm to anyone.”

“I understand and respect that, but there’s no reason for my father to know anything about your private life. And if he does, he can make his own decisions. The fact remains that your team does good work, and I personally think some of his suppliers overcharge him. I believe you could save him money.”

Billy cocked a grin. “I’d hate to think we’re the low-cost leader.”

“Not at all, but Jim does excellent cost estimates and, so far, hasn’t exceeded them.” She gave Jim a big smile.

There it was. He’d wanted to surprise Billy with a boatload of new work and impress him with what a valuable employee he was. Constance just did the job for him and tied it up with a bow. Why did that bow feel like it was being tightened around his neck? He slugged back a mouthful of tea.
Wish it was scotch.

By the time they were ready to leave, Billy had agreed to meet with Alex Murch, taking Jim in tow for good heterosexual PR. Man, that was a joke. But at least if Murch liked Billy, Jim could get the fuck out of the loop. Maybe so far out of the loop he could leave town.

Standing outside the restaurant, Constance got that look, and Jim knew what was coming. “Are we on for Friday?”

If he said no, the whole meeting-Daddy thing would likely vanish in the air. “Yes, thank you. I’d love to go. Shall I call you to make dinner plans?”

Her smile was so sweet.
Wasted on an asshole liar like me.
“That would be lovely. So we’ll talk soon?”

“Yes.”

As they all walked back to the building, Constance chattered about her plans for a new investment and how she’d love to have Jim take a look at it. When they got to the door, she stopped. “Maybe you can look at the new place later this week?”

“Sure. I’d be glad to.”

She smiled at Billy. “So glad you’re back. I look forward to working with you.”

Billy shook her hand. “Me too.”

Her whole expression changed. Softened. “Talk soon, Jim. I have to go to an appointment in Santa Ana, so I’ll leave you two here.”

“Okay. Bye.”

For one horrible second, he thought she was going to kiss his cheek, but she walked away.

Billy just stood there looking after her. The silence was so thick you could lose sheep in it.

“Billy, welcome back. How was the trip?” Every nerve in Jim’s body fried at the silky voice. Too much. No way he could even look at Ken Tanaka right now.

Billy turned. “Ken, hi.” He looked around. “Why are you here?”

“My office is in this building.” His eyes shifted. “Hi, Jim. How’s it going?”

Lifting his eyes from his boots took almost more power than he could manage. “Fine.”

A tiny crease cracked the perfection of Ken’s forehead for a second, and then he smiled. “I gave Jim a good report for the insurance, but he does need to take care of himself.”