Knave of Broken Hearts (23 page)

“Of course. It’s the truth.”

Yes, it is, isn’t it?
Ken raised his head. “You swallowed. That was a trial by fire.”

Ken could feel Jim’s grin move against his jeans. “Better than junk food.”

He dropped his head back and settled into quiet. Busy quiet. “Why exactly are you here?”

Jim looked up and grinned. “If you don’t know, I did it wrong.”

“No, you did it amazingly right. I thought you were a beginner.” Ken threaded his fingers through that shaggy hair again.

Jim sighed. “I am, but fifteen years of yaoi taught me some things.”

“Hell, if you’re any indication, sex counselors should start using yaoi in their sessions.”

“I did okay?”

“Best I remember having.” Weirdly, that was true.

“I think that qualifies as an expert opinion.”

Ken nodded. “Sorry about that.” He closed his eyes. “Do you think we have to keep meeting like this, or would it be okay to have dinner and try sex in a bed when both of us are conscious?”

Jim looked up at him. Those deep green eyes stared, and then his cheeks dented with dimples. “I’m willing to give it a try, doc, if you think it won’t get you expelled from the Japanese perfect son club.”

“Or you from the straight, macho guy’s association.” He grinned.

Jim sucked in some breath. He might have agreed, but this was no simple step. That was all over his face. Along with drips of cum. Ken smiled. This wasn’t easy for him either. “Hey, we met at a friend’s wedding. We became friends. We can have a meal out without it being a statement to the world, right?”

“Sure.” Jim nodded once. Then a second time with more force. “Why not?”

Yeah. Why the hell not?

K
EN
SMILED
politely. His mother discussed the potential for acquiring good surrogates for birthing Japanese children, and his father pounced all over Mickey for being distracted by rock and roll when he should be focusing on his study of law. Ken ought to be freaking out. Instead, he just felt bored. Something had shifted in his brain—or his heart.

“So when would you like to make the announcement, Kenji?”

He looked up. “Excuse me?”

“When do you and Mickey want to announce your engagement? I’ve notified the local newspaper that we will send them the details, and we need to arrange for a photo.”

“
Excuse
me?” He looked at Mickey, who appeared a little bemused but certainly not horrified. His stomach flipped. “Forgive me, Okaa-san, but I have no intention of announcing my engagement to Mikio at any time. I have no intention of marrying him.”

Mrs. Okuwa slapped a hand over her mouth, and Mr. Okuwa frowned. His mother looked shocked too. “Kenji, how can you say this when you know it is all our expectation and desire that this match should be made?”

He tried to keep his voice steady and calm. “But it’s not my desire, Mother. I think that’s what counts in a marriage.”

“No. Being matched by a wise parent has proven for hundreds of years to be the best way to create lasting marriages.”

“I’m sorry, Mother. It’s not my way.” Why did facing her feel like a battle with a thousand dragons?

She frowned. “You will learn to love each other.”

“No, we won’t. Mickey and I have nothing in common.”

His mother turned. “Mikio, do you not find Kenji an admirable and attractive person, suitable to be a husband?”

“Yeah, actually, Mrs. Tanaka, I think he’s pretty cool.”

She whipped around to Ken. “You see. This is meant to be.”

He stood. “It’s meant to be only if I say so. This is my life.”

“Your brother would have obeyed me.”

He stopped along with his heart and breath. The words slipped past his gritted teeth. “My brother is not here.”

She gasped, and Mrs. Okuwa joined her. Ken gasped too in his heart. Did he really say that?

He bowed. “I sincerely apologize, Mother. I deeply respect you and the memory of my brother, but I cannot do this. Please excuse me.” He walked toward the door.

Mickey’s voice followed him. “I’ll bet you’re hung up on that white guy you kept drooling over at the bar the other night.”

His mother caught the scent. “What white man?”

Ken paused. “Good night.” He strode to the front door, opened it, and took a deep breath of evening air. It stung a little, but it might be his first whiff of freedom.

H
UMMING
. W
HEN
was the last time he’d done that?

Jim tucked in the white shirt and pulled a belt through the loops on his best dark jeans.

Ian peeked in his door. “Fancy schmancy.”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re going to do it?”

“Yep. Dinner.”

“Big step. Being seen with the doctor. Might ruin your reputation as a confirmed—blue-collar guy.” Ian laughed.

“Smartass.”

“Did you tell Billy?”

“No, but I will. Hell, he’s been so supportive. Between you and him, I might survive this whole deal.”

“So what about the woman? How did you tell her?”

Billy glanced at his dark shoes. Not even sneakers.

“You didn’t tell her yet?”

“No. I’ve got to call her. I just chickened out.”

“The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be on her. It’s only two days until your next date.”

“I know.”
Shit.

“You’re not playing both ends, are you? Keeping her on the hook until you find out how it goes with Ken? Because gay is gay, my friend.” He smiled.

Jim perched on the edge of the unmade bed. “No, women don’t seem to do it for me anymore, if they ever did.” He shrugged. “I’m just worried about how she’ll react, and I like working for her. I know that’s chickenshit, but those are the facts.”

“That’s a compliment to her, I guess, but you still need to tell her.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “But it’s not like any big happy ever after thing’s going to happen with Ken. I mean, he’s got huge family expectations and boyfriends for every day of the week. He doesn’t need me.”

Ian crossed his arms. “But it’s you he asked out.”

“True.”

“You can have what you want if you make it a priority.”

“Jesus, have you been hanging out with Billy at some self-improvement seminar?”

“I’m serious. If you want him, go get him.”

Things came so easy to Ian. “How’s it going with you and Rico?”

“Good.” Ian practically kicked the floor and said, “Aw shucks.” The kid was a goner. “I’m guessing I might not see you until late, so I invited him over. Is that okay?”

“It’s your place too. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Yes, it felt a little strange to know his kid brother was hooking up, but times change. Hell, that was the truth.

“I expect that gives me a lot of elbow room.”

Jim laughed. “I wondered why the apartment looked so clean.”

“Hey, you can’t give gay men a bad name. This place needs some serious style.”

He stood and grabbed his leather jacket from the closet. “It’s a deal. We’ll work on making this place a tribute to gayness. Gaydom?”

“I’ll settle for a new couch. That thing is wanted by the CDC.”

“A valuable antique.”

“Yeah, from the Pleistocene.”

Jim walked out to the living room and patted the ratty green object of his brother’s derision that now provided a reclining space for Anderson’s grandeur. “I found this thing by the curb in front of some rich family’s house. Stuck it in my truck and thought I’d been given a gift.”

“Funny to hear you talk about a rich family.” Ian’s smile looked sad.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”
Change the subject.
“So you going to school this evening before Romeo’s, I mean Rico’s, arrival?”

“No. My class was cancelled for some teacher meeting thing. We’re looking forward to a whole evening without his roommates.”

“Or yours.”

He grinned. “Rico really wants me to apply for scholarships to Berkeley.” He shrugged. “But I’m thinking I’m better off staying down here. Maybe try for Cal Poly. It’s a great school. If I can keep up my GPA at the community college, maybe I can get scholarships and work to make it happen.”

“I’ll help as much as I can.” Shit, it would take Ian a long time to get through at that pace.

He shook his cute head. “Thanks, but you’ve got your own future to figure out. So get to work.” He gave Jim’s shoulder a swipe. “Have a really great date.”

That made him smile all the way to his cock. “Thanks.”

Outside the apartment, he walked to his parking space. They’d decided he should drive to Ken’s apartment and leave the truck there while they took Ken’s car to dinner. Nobody was pretending the date wasn’t really about getting to fuck in a bed, and that did sound great, but they both had to work in the morning. Wild that he was calmly planning sex with a guy. Admitting his gayness made a lot of pieces fall into place. Jesus, maybe one of those pieces could be happiness.

He pulled out onto the feeder road that would take him toward the PCH, the ocean, and Ken’s place. Jim’s stomach gave a flutter. Nervous? Probably hungry. He could impress the doc with his good eating habits tonight.

The phone rang in his pocket. Ken? He scooted to his butt cheek and pulled it out, then hit the button. “Hi, cancelling already?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

“Jim?”

That fluttering stomach turned to a block of ice. “Yes.” In ten years, his father had never called him.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”

“We do. It involves your brother.”

Shit.
“When?”

His father’s cool voice changed just a little, like maybe he smiled. “Now would be good.”

“I’m busy.”

“It won’t take long and it’s important.”

“Why can’t we talk over the phone?”

“I’d rather see you to be certain you understand my offer.”

“Offer?”

“Just get here and we’ll talk.” Call ended by the network.

G
OD
DAMN
him to hell.
Should he ignore it? He’d said it was about Ian.
Damn.
Jim reached for the phone and dialed.

Ken’s voice sounded happy. “Hey, are you on your way?”

“I was, but I just got this weird call from my father. He says he needs to talk to me about my brother.”

“Ian?”

“Yeah. He says it won’t take long, and I’m kind of scared to ignore it.”

“Does he do this often?”

“He’s never called me once in ten years.”

“I guess you better go.” He sounded disappointed, which gave Jim a thrill.

“Can I still come over after?”

“That would be great. I’ll make us a snack here, and we can go to dinner this weekend.”

Jesus, he loved the sound of all that. “Okay. See you later. I’ll call when I’m on my way.”

He hung up, smiled for a second, then let the knot in his stomach take over. What the hell did his father want?

Twenty minutes later, he pulled through the gate at Pelican Hill. When he gave his name to the gate guard, he waved him right through. That made him more nervous. By the time he pulled up in front of the huge Tudor, he could have puked. He turned off the ignition and sat with his hands on the wheel.
This is for Ian. You can walk out any time. This dude can’t hurt you. Yeah, just keep saying that.

The march to the door felt like two miles and two inches at the same time. He knocked. The dark-haired dude who answered was somebody he’d never seen before. “Uh, hi. I’m here to see Dr. Carney.”

“You’re Mr. Carney?”

“Yeah.”

“Follow me, sir.

Jeez, this was the butler.
Come on, Dad.

When they got to his father’s office, the guy stepped aside and waved him in. “I’ll get Dr. Carney.”

“Okay.” The room was déjà vu all over again. How many horrible memories could be traced directly to this room?

Your science grades are awful. How can you become a professional with this kind of performance?

Who ever heard of a boy from our family getting an A in shop?

What do you mean, you don’t want to go to college?

Your mother has told me some shocking things, James. Where did these filthy magazines come from? I expect young boys to be curious, but this is perversion.

He’s gone. You’re never going to see that horrible boy again.

“James?”

For a second he stayed back in the memory, then glanced up at his father walking into the room. “Yeah. Sorry, I was just—thinking.” About how much he hated being here.

“Please sit down.”

He perched on the edge of the guest chair in front of the huge leather-and-mahogany desk while his father took the high-backed chair. “How is Ian?”

Jim frowned. “Why the hell would you care?”

“I’m not without compassion for his situation.”

“You could have fooled me.”

His father’s lips tightened, then relaxed. “Regardless, that’s not why I asked you here. Not exactly, anyway.”

Jim sighed and let it be audible. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“I understand you’ve been dating Constance Murch?”

What the fuck?
“That’s not exactly true, but what business is it of yours?”

“In what way, not true?”

“We’ve had a few business lunches. Only one date.”

“I see. Perhaps you’re aware that her father, Alex Murch, is a board member at the club and one of Orange County’s wealthiest businessmen.”

“Yes, I know. I met him. Aside from being a prejudiced asshole, he’s a good guy.”

For a second his father’s brows drew tight, and then he laughed. “Interesting assessment. And what do you think of Constance?”

He shrugged. “Not sure why we’re discussing this, but she’s smart and capable. I like working for her.”

“Would it interest you to know that she likes working with you too?” He smiled, cat and canary-wise.