Just Tell Me (The Justice Series) (8 page)

Chapter 6

July

Nicole
was sat at her desk before 8am. She was glad to escape Andrew, the weekend had been just about bearable. She had persuaded him that she wanted to move into the spare room, the thought of sharing a bed was too much to bear after the time she had spent with Daniel. Andrew could bully her all he wanted but she wasn’t going to sleep in the same bed as him ever again. He could see she was being serious and in his more rational moments he reluctantly agreed at least she had her own space, it didn’t feel as much of a prison, he had something left of his old self.
Until the next time
the voice in her head screamed, but she had made it clear to him that they were no longer in a relationship.  

Nicole looked at the blank document on her screen and the legal pack for some new homes, all shiny and plast
ic on the architect’s drawings. She usually loved her work, and she really needed to work on something to take her mind off Daniel.  Her headphones were on her desk and she plugged them into her ears, she needed to zone out of the busy office noise and the music played.  As the sounds of Depeche Mode started she felt a pang of sadness as the memories of last week washed over her. She changed the music.
Will I never be free of this feeling?
 
Surely he would contact me?
Did he know her last name? She had told him. Would he remember it?  She felt that nagging voice that told her he wouldn’t ever contact her and her heart sank further into sadness. Never had a man made her feel like Daniel did, the way he spoke her name, the way he touched her. Nicole spent the rest of the day working on the contract, and although it was frowned upon in the company, she kept checking her Facebook and email account. Nothing. She fell further into sadness, her heart yearned for him and the memory so raw in her mind, and yet time had already put distance between her thoughts. 

Her phone beeped, distracting her further.  It was her friend Libby aski
ng if she wanted to catch up this Friday, she had forgotten her friend was working in Israel for the next three weeks, her heart sank.  Every time her phone beeped she hoped it would be Daniel who had mysteriously found her number.  She had to try and forget him; it was over. An amazing 48 hours of her life, but when she thought back on it now she knew at the time it wasn’t meant to be, he had given her the strength to change things with Andrew, maybe that was all it was.  The catalyst.  She thought how she had acted so out of character and practically jumped on him; she remembered their night together and felt embarrassed. 
What on earth was I thinking?
, she read Libby’s message again but didn’t feel like going out into town and she arranged to meet her on her return. Nicole thought of her friend Anna who lived in Leeds and sent her a Facebook message, she gave her the short version of man trouble and knew Anna would reply with something encouraging.  Her messages pinged on the screen. 

“
God what a nightmare”

“
Nicole you should just leave him.  Sod the flat he’s an arsehole.  All men are!”

“
Edward has blanked me now”

Nicole felt sorry for Anna and she messaged her back, agreeing
to go to Leeds that Saturday. She needed a weekend of wallowing in self pity and it sounded like Anna was feeling as crap as she was.  Nicole told Andrew she was going to Anna’s on Saturday night and he looked relieved, he had accepted the compromise better than she thought and she felt a glimmer of hope that it might not be as bad as she thought. Perhaps it was just flat sharing until they came to an agreement.  The week dragged on and she was pleased when she could escape to Leeds and she arrived at Anna’s apartment with carrier bags of food.

“What’s that? We do have food in
Leeds you know” Anna peered in the bag “Oh God my kitchen’s going to take a battering”.  Nicole laughed at her friend, she knew she could burn toast.

“Oh shut up, we need
some decent food and no it will not”.  Nicole wandered into the open plan kitchen and unpacked the food she had bought. A loin of wild salmon, fresh herbs and olive oil from Liguria. The bread she had bought from the bakery was still warm and she poured the oil onto a plate. 

“Here try this” she dipped the bread into the light green sticky oil and closed her eyes as the peppery oil hit her taste buds.  “Mmm this is heaven, who needs men?” 

Anna tasted a small corner of the bread and rolled her eyes as she poured them some wine. “I’m surprised you’re not as big as a house eating all that”. She handed her friend her glass and raised it “Anyway to idiot men”. 

Nicole smiled “A
nd good food”.  They moved to the sofa and Nicole sat on the comfy leather.

“Oh I feel so depressed” she laughed d
espite her sadness “Seriously I met the man of my dreams, you would have been proud of me, I had a - what would Anna do moment - and jumped on him.  God I’m embarrassed just thinking about it”. 

“Hmm I’m not s
ure that’s the best philosophy” Anna stared into her wine glass and Nicole hadn’t seen her so cut up over a man before “I haven’t exactly got anywhere with Edward, he practically ran away from me when I kissed him”. Nicole almost spat her drink out at the image of her friend chasing the poor guy down the street.  “It’s not funny” Anna laughed “He actually ran away from me. Anyway enough about him, tell me more about this Daniel and what you plan to do?”

Nicole secretly thought Anna was wasting her time with Edward
, that Finance Director, it sounded like he wasn’t interested.  Even though Anna was clearly upset about the situation, she felt sorry for the geeky accountant and thought her friend deserved everything she got, treating men like toys.

Nicole
stopped laughing as she picked at her bread and thought about Daniel “Oh Anna, it was like, I don’t know, like he knew me” she shook her head “We had a real connection, and then he saw me with Andrew...”  She trailed off “He’s not going to contact me is he?”  Her throat tightened “It was the first time in my life I just let my hair down, I was a different person with him”. Nicole brushed away the tears that had started to fall. “And this is just so stupid, I have to get on with my life not pine over a guy I only knew for three days”. 

She stood up
and looked at Anna. “At least Andrew has finally got the message.  He’s a complete bastard Anna, I hate him, but until I win the lottery or the economy recovers we are stuck together in that sodding flat”

Anna nodded her head in agreement, unable to speak her mouth full of br
ead, she took a drink of wine “You need to get out, can’t you go and live with your parents for a while?”

Nicole remembered Andrews words the weekend before when she tried to leave, she needed to change the subject before she confessed his abuse “Anyway enough of this” Nicole brushed some crumbs into her hand
from the table “I want salmon, can we use your gas bbq?” 

Anna walked out onto her terrace and uncovered the bbq. “Be my guest”.  Nicole turned the di
al and pressed the ignition as the machine sparked into life.   She placed the salmon in foil with some butter, lemon and herbs, feeling the heat as she placed it on the hot grill.  The evening sun set over the city and Nicole stood and looked over the city rooftops.  Just like Edinburgh.  Anna topped her wine glass up and put her arm round her friend, breaking her thoughts.

“You know it will all work out in the end
, Nicole”. 

Nicole laughed hollowly “I can’
t see it that way at the moment, I need to face up to never seeing him again”.  Her friend put her head on her shoulder and they stood and watched the sun set together over the city.

Half an hour later the salmon was cooked, and despite Anna’s earlier disapproval of Nicole’s domestic tendencies she finished it.  “That was delicious, you know you are wasted as a solicitor, I think you should run a restaurant”.

“One day, you know I will, I just need to earn some decent money first, I’m more determined than ever now, it’s not like I am going to meet anyone, and having a family is off the agenda” Nicole pushed her salmon round the plate with her fork and smiled sadly as she looked at her friend “Do you want children and all that Anna?”

“Maybe, I don’t know.
I have to meet a man first, one that actually likes me.  Drink some more wine Nicole, let’s get pissed”.  Anna diverted the conversation, she could see she was getting upset again and she could sense there was more to Nicole’s life than she was letting on “Come on, let’s put some music on and sing to some old favourites? No Depeche Mode though!” 

Nicole smiled sadly, that was fine with her
, the music had memories of Daniel and she took another sip of her wine.  The two friends sat on the floor and reminisced while their favourite songs played through the speakers.  Anna grabbed a bottle of Italian brandy and Nicole already knew she would have a hangover in the morning, it was worth the pain as she felt her spirit’s lift for just one night.

The following weeks dragged on.  Andrew was hardly talking to her, she cooked his dinner and they shared the
flat. Nicole felt a weight lifting off her, she would have preferred to have left the flat but he no longer seemed to care about what she was doing.

It
was a relief when Friday finally came round and she was due to meet Libby in the city, she got home early, before Andrew and got changed into a black t-shirt and jeans. 

She tied her long brown hair into a ponytail and looked at herself in the mirror. She was starting to pile on some wei
ght, she noticed as she pinched her belly. 
That was it
, no more sitting on the sofa, Nicole resolved to go for a run through the city in the morning. If she wasn’t too hung-over she smiled at herself in the mirror, Libby was a bad influence.  

Libby was her oldest friend.
She worked as a travel consultant and loved to jump on a plane and travel to some strange and exotic country, especially if there were guns and hummus involved. She was also the worlds biggest gossip, she loved everything celebrity and was always telling Nicole who was seeing who. Nicole hadn’t heard of half of them but she loved her friends’ infectious enthusiasm. The three girls were close, Anna and Libby were a bad influence on each other when they got together and Nicole always felt like the quiet one of the three. She couldn’t compete with their all night drinking, or stories of passionate sex.
Well she could now
she smiled sadly at the fading memory of Daniel. 

Nicole felt her s
tomach churn as she walked through the small area of grass between China town and the station. The air was muggy and warm, the balmy city smothered her and the smell hit her nostrils. The aroma of stale Chinese food, exhaust fumes and tramp wee was specifically potent and Nicole felt a wave of sickness as she walked towards the bar. She spotted her friend straight away, sat outside, a jug of cocktail, two glasses, and one almost empty. Libby was unmistakable with her curly blonde hair and quirky dress sense, hunting out vintage and wearing it perfectly with her slim figure. They had met at sixth form, Nicole instantly liked Libby, she felt like she had led a sheltered life before her confident friend took her to clubs and they were always having a drama over which men to date. When Nicole moved to Sheffield to study law, Libby had needed to escape from Manchester so spent three months sharing the student flat Nicole rented with Paul and Anna and they remained close. 

Nicole was always the quiet one of the group, and although everyone said her and Anna could pass as sisters with their dark curly hair, they were as different as two people could be.  Nicole was quiet and studious while Anna was confident and a party
animal, Libby just encouraged her. Like two man eaters, while Nicole sat in the sidelines and watched them, she used to joke that those two would be classed as cougars if they were all in their 40s. After university Nicole had returned back to Manchester and while she was qualifying as a solicitor, Libby had finally focused on her career. She tried being a PA for a few months but it ended disastrously when she fell in love with the married director. It had hit her hard but she eventually got herself together again and was now a senior travel consultant. A perfect job for headstrong Libby, although Nicole knew she had experienced some strange and disturbing adventures which Libby rarely liked to discuss. 

Libby stood up, cigarette in one hand and gave her old friend a hug.

“Nicole, you look fab as usual” they sat down and Libby poured Nicole a cocktail “So tell me all about this mystery man, please tell me he has messaged you? and have you sacked off old fuckface yet?”

Nicole had almost forgotten she had mentioned Daniel to Libby and knew she wouldn’t stop asking until she got all the detail, Nicole told her the full sequence of e
vents and Libby’s eyes widened when she heard about the penthouse and the silk bed wear. “Wow Nicole, he sounds hot, you go girl, it's not like you, it’s about time you let your hair down and got rid of that loser Andrew” she sipped more of her drink and took another Marlboro out of the packet.

“Y
ou know it’s not as easy as that Libby, we have too much invested in the flat” she shook her head “It’s been better since I have had my own room and he’s got the idea now.  Something’s changed in him, I don’t know what but I don’t care as long as he keeps his hands off me”.