Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch (5 page)

When referring to ourselves, we sometimes use “we” and at other times “I.” The “we” is, of course, Vera and Steve, and the “I” is just Steve. It is my voice, Steve’s, that you are listening to, but it is Vera’s voice that I listen to.

c h a PT er 1

Opening Your mind

W

e believe that women have the ability to experi- ence instant orgasmic sensation because they are the source of turn-on. By this we mean that

in mammals it is the female that goes into heat and the male that responds. Female humans have an added abil- ity to turn on at will, not just when their menstrual cy- cle dictates. Because female humans can turn on at will, by putting their full attention on their pleasure area— on their pussy, as we like to say—they can experience all the pleasure that is available. Their genitals can get wet, throb, and feel so much pleasure that we have no problem calling this an orgasm. The more a woman can approve of these wonderful sensations, the better the orgasm will be.

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We have coached many women students over the years. Most are not able to easily feel that first stroke on an erogenous zone when they first start out, nor are they fully able to feel their genitals by just focusing their attention on them. Yet, with practice, they have all learned to feel much more than they did before their training, and most become able to experience quite a bit of in- tense orgasmic sensation with that first eagerly anticipated stroke. The touch does not even have to be directly on their clitoris; it can be almost anywhere on their genitals or on a body part that they have learned to “connect” to their clitoris. (For more on connecting different body parts, see Chapter 2, “Self- Pleasure.”) Practice makes it easier to feel the pleasure and causes the initial sensation to intensify dramatically.

The more one practices and grows familiar with her instantly orgasmic po- tential, the greater becomes her ability to experience an instantly massive or intense orgasm. When Vera began doing orgasm demonstrations, her coach told her to initially hold back to avoid scaring students off. The goal was to gradually build on the orgasm. However, we have taught a number of women to experience this level of intensity immediately, which shows that it is pos- sible to have a “massive” orgasm from the get-go.

In order for women to have an instant orgasm they do not have to do any- thing other than focus their attention, feel the sensations, and approve of (that is, appreciate) what they’re feeling. These three actions are also the road to ex- tending and intensifying the experience. Once a woman has a partner who begins to actively assist in her pleasure production, she only has to continue to do these three things—that is, to focus, feel, and approve—and, of course, to stay relaxed. She will also have to train her partner. (We’ve included an entire chapter on training techniques.) But even when doing it to yourself, focusing, feeling, and approving are how you increase your pleasure. We will discuss ap- proval in greater detail in the chapter “Partnered Pleasure.”

Many people, both men and women, think they have to do more than feel and approve when they are receiving an orgasm. They think they have to as- sist in the production of the pleasure by moving—by thrusting their hips and tensing up. This straining is actually counterproductive to feeling pleasure. Just understanding the words “tensing” and “straining” should be a clue that they won’t take you in the direction of pleasure. Pleasure is about enjoying the

experience. More precisely, it is about fully experiencing the moment. When a person is in solely a “helping out” mode, they are not experiencing as much pleasure as they might.

Y Give Your Hands a Hand Z

We would like to clarify here that the major part of our research, and therefore the focus of the information we present to you, is based on hands-to-genital stimulation. Humans’ hands are masterful and dexterous and can perform for a long period of time without getting tired or, unlike genitals, having to be en- gorged. They provide the best, most efficient way of producing pleasure in a human’s body. While using the hands may not be seen as the most erotic or the most intimate way to give pleasure, we could argue that point, too.

Still, even during oral sex it is important for the person receiving the plea- sure to relax their body and avoid moving around in response to the stimulus. Intercourse is different; some movement is vital to the act, although probably less and definitely slower than most people realize. A woman’s ability to feel more before the first touch, merely through anticipation, as well as her ca- pacity for instant orgasm, can be enhanced with any sex act, including inter- course. She will no longer have to merely lie there and wait for it to happen. A woman’s ability to orgasm on the first stroke can also be beneficial to men who worry about premature ejaculation, a subject we hear about from a lot of guys. The man who learns these skills will no longer have to worry about his perfor- mance. He can relax, confident that his partner will already be in full orgasm whenever his own body releases into ejaculation.

Y Is Instant Orgasm Z

an Improvement?

Instant coffee, fast foods, instant messaging—our society is one of instant gratification, of not having to wait and not wanting to waste time. We want everything at our fingertips and we want to do as little as possible to get the things we want. We want these things now, if not sooner. The dilemma is that brewed coffee tastes better than instant, and food cooked with care and to your specifications tastes better than fast food.

But not everything that is instant is necessarily a bad idea. Most people will agree that it is better to receive mail (especially checks) by airmail rather than by pony express. The speed with which we can communicate with almost everyone via the Internet is an improvement in most cases over having to wait for information; for example, information that traveled for months across the Atlantic Ocean by boat before the use of the telegraph.

What about instant orgasm? Is it an improvement? Or is it a cheap imita- tion of “normal” orgasm? Does it suffer in comparison to the old paradigm of a (usually) lengthy arousal period before reaching the point of no return? Is it better than the “wait, wait, tense up, tense up, and finally squirt” type of or- gasm? Will it only last for ten seconds and then be done? Is an instant orgasm even possible?

Instant orgasm is about opening your mind to a new definition of orgasm. It is about being conscious and using that consciousness to feel. It is about put- ting your attention on your pleasure and focusing on the tactile sensations you are experiencing.

The trouble (if indeed it is “trouble”) with instant orgasm, which we define as coming on or before the first stroke, is that it usually has to be learned. It has to be practiced. Fully comprehending and appreciating it takes time. For some people (almost always women), the mere idea of immediate orgasmic possibility triggers something in their mind that says, “I can do that.” They find the idea itself so liberating that they are able to experience instant orgasm right away. This capability, however, is not what we have seen as the usual re- sponse. For most, it takes time and practice to attain the skill that a few “natu- rals” already possess. In our work training people to have extended massive orgasms (the topic of two of our earlier books), we are often asked how long it will take to be able to have one—or “How long before I can get off with the first stroke?” There is no exact way to predict. The answer is a combination of how willing the person is, how suggestible they are to new information, how sensual they are to begin with, whether they are used to using a vibrator (we discourage vibrators for serious sensual students as they tend to numb a per- son’s nervous system rather than expanding sensation), how much priority they give to practicing, and whether they have a partner who is also interested in applying this new and provocative information.

I remember dancing with and even hugging some women, with both of us fully dressed, and feeling strong contractions in their bodies, most specifi- cally around their genitals, just from the bodily contact. You have probably felt something similar, too, either directly as a woman or indirectly as a man. We define this response as an orgasm. So an instant orgasm is not as alien as you might think. I once had a sensual date with a woman who was responding orgasmically from hugging, yet when I got to her clitoris she actually turned off. This was probably because she was not trained to have an extended mas- sive orgasm but could kind of sneak an orgasm in when she thought no one was looking. When she undressed and was supposed to be pleasured, she felt performance anxiety. We will discuss this phenomenon later.

The good news is that what you’re practicing is receiving more pleasure. It is about reacquiring what we believe to have been an instinct we were born with but that has been conditioned out of us by our pleasure-denying, pain- oriented, and even “fuck-oriented” societies. This practicing of pleasure is a fun journey. All one has to do, as the saying goes, is to enjoy each step of the way. One does not have to get to where one is going right away, only to appre- ciate every little nuance of improvement. Take time to “smell the roses,” as there will be lots of fine-smelling roses on this path. Sensuality is about feel- ing the pleasure, the good sensations that are happening in the moment. It is

about
now
. Focusing one’s attention on the pleasure one is feeling right now

can yield explosive possibilities. We have so many nerve receptors in our plea- sure areas. Deciding to use them for feeling what is occurring right now—and

having that be the
only
goal—is a truly wonderful breakthrough. All your fo-

cus, all your energy, is being used for the purpose of exquisite sensation. If you slip into your head and start thinking about other matters or comparing past experiences to this one, just put your attention back on your pleasure. All you have to do is get back on the horse, as it were, and begin to feel again.