Inside Out (7 page)

Allison rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath.

“You know if you have something to say to me, say it.” I barked to Allison. She twisted uncomfortably in her seat, keeping her mouth closed. I returned my glare to Jude. “It’s no business of yours where I’m going. I asked a simple question. Can I or can’t I use your vehicle?”

“We need to talk. Excuse me, Allison.” He stood, walking to grab me by my arm. I allowed him to lead me into the hallway for privacy. “What’s going on Samantha? Why are you leaving and why are you dressed like that?”

“Oh I get it. I’m supposed to be the good little fuck-buddy roommate who you use when you feel like it. Should I just turn and go back to my room, allowing you to finish your date with what’s her name?” I spoke with thick sarcasm.

“It isn’t like that, Sam. She’s nothing to me. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Let me make it up to you.” He leaned in to kiss my cheek. I turned my head, causing his lips to brush against my hair.

“Don’t you dare kiss me, you ass. I want to go. Let me use your car.”

He leaned in once more, using his hands to hold my head in place. “Don’t go.” He whispered against my ear. “I’ll make her leave right now. I don’t want her. I only want you.”

“Why are you sitting in there flirting with her like a teenager on their first date?”

“It’s your jealous mind envisioning such a scene, Sam.”

“My ass, Jude. I’m not blind.”

“You’re blind to the feeling I have for you. You’re blind to the looks that I give to you. You only see what you want to see. He ran his hands down my back, stopping when he met my backside, gripping it and pulling my body against his. “Allison, I’m going to have to pick this conversation up another time.” He yelled to her. I felt my lips involuntarily form into a smile. I heard a few muffled words, followed by the slamming of the front door.

“What conversation was so important?”

“Samantha…” He pressed his index finger against my lips.

“I don’t want to…” I tried to speak. He moved his finger, replacing it with his lips. His tongue slid into my mouth, massaging my tongue. My tense body melted into his. I lifted my arms, granting him access to remove my shirt. He inched the shirt up, allowing his fingertips to caress my sides. I shivered at the feeling of his warm skin against mine.

“You’re all I want,” he whispered.

In one swift movement Jude lifted me, positioning my legs around his waist. We stumbled through the hallway, fumbling for the knob of the door to my room. Our heavy breathing indicated we were both more than ready to satisfy our desire. The remaining clothes were stripped away from my body, exposing my bare flesh. I arched my body in response to his lips against my skin. “Jude…” My voice was raspy. I pleaded with him through the movements of my body to end the tantalizing kisses and to satisfy my aching need for him.

“You’re beautiful, Samantha, every single inch of you.” I felt his tongue graze along my hip bones, moving in a slow, teasing circular motion to my thighs. This was the feeling that had eluded me my entire life. This was what true ecstasy felt like. I was lost in a sea of emotions I had never felt. My body shivered with each pleasurable touch. I gripped his back, running my fingers along his defined muscles. Our bodies moved together, a perfect rhythm that flowed as easily as a well written poem.

“Jude,” I moaned. My thoughts clouded by only images of the present, of this very moment with him. His exquisite movement sent a tidal wave of pleasure throughout my body. My heart fluttered and my body shivered as I found my release. I called out his name once more in perpetual bliss.

I awoke in his arms. Only this time, I didn’t race to remove his arms from my waist; I instead turned over to place my head on his chest. The smell of our combined scents was heavenly. I still questioned how a man like Jude, would find interest in a woman like me. Not only did his beauty exceed mine, but also, I come fully equipped with a shit load of problems. I giggled, shaking my head at my own absurd thoughts. I watched Jude sleep, running my fingers along his jaw. I was in love with a man I hardly knew. Of all the insane things I’d ever done, this ranked in the top ten. My once guarded heart lay vulnerable in the palm of his hands.

With his eyes still closed Jude whispered “Good morning Gorgeous.”

I smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “Good morning. I’m starving.” I threw him his shirt, nodding my head towards the kitchen. “How about we make breakfast?”

He shot me a devious smile and scooted his body out of bed. “Let’s go!” Jude grabbed me, slinging me over his shoulder and smacking my ass. I kicked my legs and flailed my arms in a half assed attempt to get down.

“Put me down before you crush my insides.” I laughed, wiggling free in the entrance of the kitchen. I skipped over to the radio, turning on the oldies.

I pranced around the kitchen singing loud and proud. To my surprise, Jude chimed in singing along word for word. I watched his lips move and his body begin swaying to the music. I grinned and chimed in, our duet echoed against the walls in the kitchen.

“You’re lovely, you insane man, you.” I leaned in kissing his cheeks. “Now, quit fooling around and help me make some eggs and bacon.”

“You’re just jealous of my talent. I’m sorry I’m a better singer than you.”

“Ha!” I chuckled, slapping his arm. “If you think the sound of a dying cat sounds beautiful, well, you’re right. You’re extremely gifted.” I winked and threw four pieces of bacon in a small skillet.

“Go set the table, please. I’ll finish up here.” Jude pulled the spatula from my fingers, laughing at me as I dodged the grease splashing from the pan.

“Be my guest” I released the cooking utensil without hesitation. Cooking was not something I enjoyed. I pulled decorative trappings from the cabinets, dressing up the small fold out table the best I could.

“Well, doesn’t that look nice?” Jude eyed the yellow table cloth and clear vase which held two bright red artificial flowers. “Well, seems you do have a knack for something”

“Hey now, I have skills. I am talented in many areas.”

“Oh Sammy, trust me, I’m very aware of your skills.” He winked and pulled out my chair, gesturing for me to take a seat.

“Jude Williams, you dirty old man.”

“So, how about we talk about what you do for a living?”

“A little bit of everything.” He reached across the table, interlocking our fingers.

“Jude, I’m serious. What do you do? Knowing the career of the man you’re sleeping with is quite a reasonable request.” He still responded with no more than a smirk.

“Well, Mr. Elusive. I won’t avoid the question on my career. You must be ashamed. Are you a dope dealer or something?” He laughed hysterically. I, however, found no humor in it. Why was he avoiding my question? Did Mr. Perfect have a secret that would finally prove to me he wasn’t so perfect? “I’m proud of my receptionist job. It isn’t like I make a fortune, but, it’s a decent living around awesome people.”

“That’s really nice, Sammy. I’m glad you’re doing something you love.”

“I wouldn’t say I love it. There are many other things in this world I wish I could make a living doing. But, such is life.”

“What do you want to do other than answering phones?” He raised his eyebrows, sincere curiosity in his expression.

“I’m an artist. Well, I like to think I am. I love to paint. Flowers, scenery, children… basically anything my eyes see, my mind visualizes a way to paint it.”

“That’s wonderful, Sam. I’d love to see your work sometime. If you’d like, there’s a room down the hall just in front of the one you’re in. It holds nothing more than a computer desk and an old filing cabinet. We’ll set you up a nice studio.”

I smiled imagining a space of my own to paint. Mitch never liked for me to paint. He said it was a waste of time and my work was far from gallery worthy.

“We’ll take a look at it after breakfast. My mind can’t even wrap around the image of you sitting in front of a canvas, creating something beautiful, wearing nothing but my t-shirt.” He winked, taking the last bite of his egg.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. A studio of my own is more than I’ve ever dreamed.”

“I’ll do my best to make your every dream a reality, Sam.”

Jude stood up from the table, walking around to where I sat. He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. I reached for his hand which rested on my shoulder. I spoke through unshed tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. I adored him. I prayed that time wouldn’t reveal the secrets he held from me, ruining the only happiness that my life had to offer me since Adam. “I’m going to take a shower, if that’s okay with you?”

“Sure. How about I take one with you, we can check out that room afterwards. I’ll take you to the craft store, buy you a few new art supplies for your brand new studio.”

“You don’t have to do that. I brought a few of my things. I have more than enough for the time being. Thank you though.”

“Samantha, I want to. I want to do nice things for you. That’s my prerogative, isn’t it?” His eyes pleaded with me. Saying no to him seemed impossible.

“Fine, if you insist.” I rose from the table, grabbing our plates, discarding the remaining morsels of food. “How about that shower?”

“I’m ready when you are.” He winked.

“You just want to see me naked, damned old pervert.” I laughed, making my way down the hall. I felt a sense of embarrassment at the thought of showering in front of him. His body and mine were worlds apart. I tried to rationalize with myself; he’d seen my naked body more than once. This wouldn’t be any different. Though, I knew it wasn’t the same. Caught up in the heat of the moment, everyday worries were washed away. I stood in the bathroom, deliberating which piece of clothing I would remove first. Jude seemed to notice my dilemma. He started pulling off his clothing, in a sexy-playful way. I grinned as he dropped his silk shorts, rolling his hips around in a circle. “Oh, now I get it. You’re a stripper. That’s why you won’t tell me what you do for a living. That’s okay. Don’t be ashamed. We all have to make money some way.”

He stood undressed in front of me. I watched his eyes blaze with desire as he watched me begin to pull each piece of my own clothing off. The slow movements I made were almost teasing, yet completely innocent. I was aware in moments like this of how beautiful he was and how plain I would always be. Jude’s glistening eyes stared at my bare skin in a way that almost made me feel attractive. Maybe he saw me for the beauty that lay beneath the average exterior.

As if reading my thoughts Jude chimed in, “You’re beautiful. Do not look at yourself that way…if only you could see yourself through my eyes.”

“Of course you would say that. You’re sleeping with me.”

“One thing I have always been is honest. Believe it or not, Samantha, I find you very beautiful.” He leaned into the shower, turning on the knobs. I felt my heartbeat steady. I was no longer uncomfortable and ashamed. He didn’t stare at me in the same way Mitch always had. Being with Jude meant being comfortable in my own skin. I smiled and pulled Jude close for a hug. “Will I get a hug for every compliment I ever give you?”

“If you’re lucky” I winked and stepped into the shower, sighing deeply when I felt the warm water on my skin.

“Let me help you.” Jude applied a generous amount of body wash into his palm, placing it onto my skin. I shivered. His long fingertips massaging me with the silk textured liquid felt amazing. “You’re tense.” He spoke more to himself than to me. He focused on my shoulders and neck. I leaned my body against the shower wall. I was so relaxed I was afraid I might fall.

“Geez, Jude, another talent?” I moaned.

“Be quiet. Just enjoy this.”

“Your turn,” I proclaimed in excitement when he finally let his hands fall back to his sides. I grabbed the soap, squirting more than enough into my own palm to lather his entire body.

“Hey! Hey, that tickles.” He squirmed and giggled when I ran my hands down his sides.

“Oh, stay still, you big baby.” I chuckled and continued rubbing the sensitive area. “All right, I think we’re about finished here. My fingers are getting all wrinkled.” I examined my fingertips.

“One day you’ll look like that all over.” He stuck out his tongue and shut off the water.

“Hey, didn’t anyone ever teach you not to speak of a ladies age. I don’t want to think about getting old.”

Jude leaned forward, pressing his moist lips against my forehead. “Sam, you’ll be just as beautiful then as you are now, wrinkles and all.” I could still feel the tingling sensation on my skin even after he pulled his lips away. He was singing all the right words to serenade my heart. “Now, let’s get dressed and have a look at that room. My only request in return for the space is that you paint something just for me.”

“Hey, you didn’t say there were any stipulations to having this room. Especially when you’re the one who insisted I use it. Who says I’m ready to let you see my work?”

“Doesn’t have to be now, Samantha, I just would love to have an image that you created for me. Please?” He batted his eyelashes and pressed his palms together into a begging position.

“All right, all right. Quit your begging.” I grinned and dabbed a towel across my legs. “I forgot to mention how clean your house is, for a man and all.”

He raised his eyebrows into an amused expression. “Uh, thanks, I guess. I try. Glad my tidiness impressed you.” His lips formed a straight line. “You’re pretty observant, for a woman.” He winked and grabbed my towel, spinning me around to dry the water from my back.

“You’re so clever.” I slipped one of his gray t-shirts over my head, examining myself in the mirror as I did so. I inhaled, smelling a mixture of fabric softener and his cologne that hadn’t faded away since the last wash. I turned to see Jude waiting for me in the doorway, staring at me as I admired his shirt.

“You look lovely. Come on, gorgeous.” He extended his hand to me; I placed my tiny hand into his palm. “I really think you’re going to love this.” He spoke with enthusiasm as he pulled open the door to the room. His smile widened when he saw the look of awe on my face. It was perfect. The walls were all bright white, except the largest wall that set near a window; it was a dull red that stood out remarkably. Only one picture hung on the wall, it was a tastefully painted woman who wore only sheer sheet draped across her legs. The dark shadows camouflaged her body, allowing you to only see her silhouette. I ran my fingertips across the painting, admiring the work. I moved onto to a tiny wooden desk that seemed to have been recently sanded down and stained. It was a gorgeous addition to the room. I felt as if I would lose my breath. This was now mine, a place to go and wash away all my worries.