Inside Out (18 page)

“Samantha!” Jude’s voice broke through the loud pounding in my ears. “I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you bitch!” Jude screamed.

“I’m okay.” I murmured. I could barely make out the noises behind me. Grunts, groans, the sound of cracking wood, it was the only recognizable sounds in the chaos. I struggled against the muscles in my body to move. It felt like a ton of bricks had been placed on top of me, confining me to the very spot I’d fallen.

“Samantha, you need to go.” Jude sounded different. His voice was calm, softer and less intense than before. I smiled, realizing he reminded me of Adam in that moment. My head was spinning and the small space in the living room seemed even darker than before. I ran my hand up my body until I felt the wound on my head. I cringed at the pain that jolted through me with the light touch of my fingertips.

“Jude.” I called to him through tears. I threw my arms out, searching the area in front of me where I’d last heard his voice. All I felt were cold chills form on my skin from the coolness of the air. I was alone. I panted heavily. I was confused and concerned. Jude was just there and all of the sudden I was alone in the dark. “Please!” I cried. My body was weak and my head continued to throb.

“Samantha, you need to get out of the house. Go. I’ll help you.” I gasped; startled that yet again I could hear Jude mumbling in my ear. I hoped that it was just the injury making him feel so far away. I swatted the air once more, searching for any piece of Jude I could reach. I wanted to feel the warmth of his skin, even if only for a minute.

“What in the hell are you doing!?” I growled in frustration when I still couldn’t feel Jude. A tingling sensation disrupted my thoughts. I shook my hand, trying to shake off the odd feeling that was creeping from my hand to my arm. It was cold and unfamiliar.

“Sam.” Jude was closer than before. I could even feel his breath on my cheek. “Always so stubborn.” A laugh filled my ears that I hadn’t heard in a while. I gripped my chest and swallowed back a cry. That laugh wasn’t one that could be mimicked. It was an undeniable sound that belonged to one person and only one person.

“Adam?” A cool wet mist touched my skin, followed by a blinding light that penetrated my eyes. “Adam?” I called again.

“You’re okay, I’m right here.” A gentle weight rested on my shoulder, comforting me. “You’re never alone, Samantha. I’m here every moment of every day.”

I attempted to wipe the tears from my cheek when I felt the sting burn my skin. “How are you here? Why are you here? Am I dead? Where is Jude?” Questions flew from my mouth.

Adam chuckled. “You’re not dead, Sam.” I opened my mouth to ask more questions, only no sound came from my lips. “Sam, just relax. You’ll understand it all in a while.” I gave into sleep, unable to fight against my heavy eyelids anymore.

“Is she going to make it?” An unfamiliar voice pulled me from my unconscious state. I used every bit of strength in my body to try to move.

“Adam!” I screamed. I heard nothing, only beeping sounds and light footsteps against what sounded like a hard floor. I wasn’t going to lay there unable to move, unable to see and barely able to hear any longer. “Help!” I used what strength I had to scream as loud as I could.

“Samantha Rivers? Can you hear me? Do you know where you are? Can you feel this?” A sharp sting on the bottom of my foot caused me to let out a squeal.

“Where the hell am I?” My tone was brash.

“You’re in Lake Side hospital. You experienced a very severe head injury.”

“What? Where is Jude? I need to see Jude!” I tried to sit up from the bed. Two hands applied pressure to my shoulders, pushing me back down.

“You’re not in any condition to move. If you’re speaking of the young gentlemen who brought you in, he’s fine. He’s down stairs getting a snack from the vending machine. He’s been here all night.” I let out a sigh of relief when I heard those words.

“What about… what about the girl?” I asked, feeling a pain in my chest at the thought of Kara. “Can you please turn on the lights!”

“Ms. Rivers, as I said, you experienced a severe head injury. It seems as if you’re experiencing temporary blindness, which is something we figured might happen. Please, don’t get too worked up about it. We are almost certain you will regain your eyesight within a couple of days. The young lady who inflicted this injury… she didn’t make it. The gentlemen explained the whole situation. Detective Nichols might be in to ask a few questions when you’re feeling better. As for now, just rest.”

My mind ran in a million directions, what had Jude told them? What had really happened? Kara didn’t make it? What did Jude do? “Thank you” I managed to murmur. “Could I please have some water?”

“Of course. There are quite a few people waiting to see you in the lobby. When you’re feeling up to it, I’ll let them come in.” The nurse ran her hand across my forehead. “You’re a fighter. I’ll be back in just a moment.” Her footsteps tapped across the floor, fading away when she disappeared from the room. I laid there in silence soaking in everything the nurse had told me. I was relieved that Kara could no longer hurt us, but I was also devastated that this is what it had come to. I shook away the thoughts and focused on my thirst. I listened closely to the approaching footsteps, praying it was the nurse with the water. “Can you sit up or should I raise the bed?”

“I think I can.” I strained to pull myself up. “What’s your name?” I asked the nurse as she placed her hand on my lower back to provide assistance.

“I’m Carol.” I could feel her smile and it warmed me. “Anything else I can do, sweetheart?”

“Yes, please send Jude up to see me.” I sucked the last drop of water dry and lowered myself back down to the pillow.

“Certainly,” she replied without hesitation.

“Thanks.” I called to her as she again exited my room.

“Sam” Jude spoke softly as he stepped inside the door. His sweet, gentle and concerned voice washed over me like a mood altering drug. My body felt less tense and my heart ached less just from knowing he was by my side. His hands trailed up my arms, gliding his fingertips over my skin before I had a chance to respond. “You have no idea how happy I am to know you’re okay. I couldn’t live without you.”

“I love you.” I whispered through tears. “What happened?”

Jude cleared his throat before he began to speak. “She went crazy, Sam. She hurt you, she tried to hurt me. I… I was only going to restrain her until I could get help but she slipped away and grabbed a knife. I would have probably fought her if she had come at me with it, but, she ran towards you. You were laying there unable to protect yourself and she was going to hurt you. I just did what I had to do.” He grabbed my hand and placed it on his cheek. “As long as you’re okay…”

“I’m okay. We’re okay. It’s all over.” I rubbed my fingers along the stubble on his chin.

“Mitch, Allison, Randi, and your parents are here.”

“Mitch and Allison?” I held my throbbing head between my palms. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ll be right here though. If they so much as look at you wrong, they’ll be out on their asses.”

“Fine” I groaned. “Go tell them to come on up and make it quick. After that, I’d like to see my parents and Randi.” Jude kissed my lips and walked away without saying a word. Moments later there was a light knock on the door. “Don’t knock, just come in!” I barked.

“Hey, Sam.” Mitch kept his voice low and gentle.

“Why are you here?”

“Sam, I know I’ve done some things that are unforgivable and I know you probably hate me. But, I just need to apologize to you. When I heard you almost died something inside me changed. We are over and I know that and to be honest I wouldn’t want to change that, I found something in Allison that makes me a better man. Still, nothing will change the fact that I still care for you in some way. I probably always will. Just please, accept my apology, shake my hand and move on with your life. You can bet that I will ever cause another problem for you again.” I couldn’t see his face but I felt the sincerity in his words. I placed my hand in the air, waiting for him to place his hand into mine. I gripped his hand gently and smiled.

“Apology accepted. Take care of yourself, Mitch. I’ll carry the few good memories we had with me for a very long time.”

“Goodbye, Samantha. Oh, and, Allison sends her love. She couldn’t bring herself to come in here. She wanted me to tell you she hates herself for the trouble she’s caused.” I nodded my head and again shared one last smile. Mitch’s footsteps faded away into the hallway. I felt a sense of relief after our moment of closure.

“I know you’re there.” I giggled.

“I stayed at a safe distance” Jude reassured. “I just had to make sure you were safe.”

“Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to close that chapter in my life. You are my future, you are my everything. No one else matters. The only person in my past I want to carry around with me forever is Adam.”

“You know, I think Adam is the reason you’re still here. When I brought you in, the entire way to the hospital you were mumbling words, smiling, and calling his name.”

“He was there.” I confessed. “At least I think he was. I remember seeing him, talking to him, and feeling his arm on my shoulder. If I ever had any doubts before about him always being around, I was wrong. He is here. I believe when a loved one dies, they never really leave you. You keep them alive by remembering. With every memory I relive, with every dream I have of him, those are the things that keep him hanging on. He will be here for me as long as I need him to be.”

“I believe you’re right, sweetheart.” Jude kissed my forehead. “I’m going to send your parents up. They are pacing the floor down there. Your dad is pretty pissed about the frequent trips I’ve made in and out of here. He wants to see you, too, Sam.”

“Okay, send them up” I nodded in agreement “Oh, and Jude, do you think I’ll be able to see again?”

“There’s no doubt in my mind. Until then, I’ll be yours eyes.” I snuggled back against the pillow, praying that Jude was right. It was a scary thought to think the last time I saw Jude, might have been the last time. I closed my eyes tight, envisioning the way he looked at me. My mind painted a picture as clear as what my eyes would see. Mom broke my train of thought when she came blubbering into my room.

“Samantha, baby, can you see me?” She sobbed already knowing the answer.

“Mom, no, not yet. The doctors are sure this will pass in a couple of days. Let’s just pray for the best, okay?” She sucked back the tears and fell silent; all I could hear was faint crying.

“You look like hell, Sam.” Dad chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Well, thank you. I assure you I feel as bad as I must look.” I shrugged my shoulders and tried my best to smile. What I really wanted was to snuggle up beside Jude in our home and in our bed. I didn’t really know what it would feel like to go back there though, not after what took place. “I really think I need to get some rest. You two should get home and get some sleep, too. No use sitting up here worrying yourselves sick. I’m fine. I’ll be able to see again in a couple of days and I’ll be on my way home. I really appreciate you stopping in to check on me. Would you mind telling Randi I’m just too exhausted for another visit tonight? Just tell her to call me tomorrow. I would really prefer if she wait until I’m home to see me.”

“Sure, sweetheart, you get some rest. We love you. Jude told us a little bit about what happened, though I’d really like to hear more when you’re up to it.” She and dad took turns kissing my face, applying the least amount of pressure as possible. I was sure my face must be a gruesome sight with how delicate they were treating me.

“Yeah, sure, we’ll talk soon. See you later.” I waved in the direction I heard their voices before rolling onto my side. I closed my eyes, hoping to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to escape. I wanted this nightmare to end. I succumbed to exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep.

“Ms. Rivers, I’m just going to give you a shot to help with the pain.” The familiar voice of Nurse Carol woke me from my dreams.

“What?” I stretched my arms and squinted hard as a tiny little blonde came into view. Her face was pale white and her eyes a bright green. “I’m not in any pain right now, though.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I heard you crying in your sleep and I… I just assumed.”

“Probably just a bad dream, I’m fine. I’m actually more than fine” I sat up from the bed studying her face. Everything was a bit fuzzy but, I could see. I could see her face, the hospital room, and the cords that were running out of my arms and into a machine beside my bed. “I can see you!” I shouted and scooped her in for a hug. “Where’s Jude? I need to see him!”

“I’ll… I’ll go get him” Carol said awkwardly as she wiggled out of my hug. Within a couple of minutes I heard loud thuds outside the room, followed by Jude skidding into the door nearly tumbling over a chair. A chair he had apparently been sleeping in. A pillow, blanket and one of his flannel shirts lay in the seat.

“You can see!?” His eyes darted in every direction as he scanned my face.

“Yes!” I squealed and threw my arms in the air. “Come here!” Jude ran into my arms, squeezing me a bit tighter than I anticipated. “As thrilled as I presume you are at this moment, you’re going to have to lighten up. I’m pretty sure you’re about to break my ribs.”

“Oh baby, I’m sorry.” Jude’s excited expression melted away and was replaced with fear. “I’m just so happy.”

“You’re happy? You have no idea how good this feels right now. I was afraid I’d never see your face again.” I stroked my fingers across his lips. “It would be a crying shame if all I had were memories of you. I want to see you get old and wrinkly. I’d be pissed if I’d been robbed of that pleasure.” I snorted and squeezed his face.

“Marry me?” Jude blurted out.

“Uh, are you certain it was only my eyes that were affected?”

“Samantha, I mean it. I need you. I knew I loved you before but god, I love you with a love that’s indescribable at this moment. I know my timing isn’t impeccable but Sam I can’t wait to ask, just say you’ll be my wife.” I searched for words as I tried to recover from shock. Jude pulled a tiny box from the pocket of his jeans and placed it in my hands. “I looked in every jewelry store I could find before I ran across this one. It’s perfect. I knew it suited you the minute I laid eyes on it. I told you I’d eventually ask you to this.”