Innuendos (It Had 2 B U Book 1) (26 page)

It doesn’t take me long to bring me back, but when I do come to, a strange man in a white jacket is standing over me.

“Welcome back, Mr. McGowan. I’m Dr. Tracy. I apologize for the lack of competence from my staff when it came to your care. We don’t normally have such bad manners.” He glares at the two nurses standing in the corner. “But, in their defense, we don’t normally get guys as good looking as you and your friend in here either.” He winks at me.

Tony laughs.

He assesses my wounds and two hours later he’s finally ready to release me.

“It looks like the mirror won this round, Mr. McGowan. I pulled a total of seventeen shards of glass from your fist. You also broke three of your fingers and six bones in your hand. As you can see, we have cleaned your wounds and applied a cast. Unfortunately, you will be wearing it for quite some time.

I look down at my hand and groan. The ginormous white cast encompasses my arm; I can barely move it. There goes lifting weights for a while.

“Whatever made you that angry, I suggest staying away from. You could break your hand further if you get into any more fights like this one.”

He scribbles something on a pad of paper and hands it to me.

“What’s this?”

“It’s your prescription for pain meds. Baby that hand for a while, okay?”

I nod. He scribbles some more.

“What’s this?” I ask taking another piece of paper away from him.

“That’s my cell phone number. If you need anything, anything at all, please give me a call,” he winks at me again.

Holy fuck my doctor is hitting on me. A balding middle-aged man with a fucking bolo haircut slipped me his phone number. Tony gets molested by two hot nurses, and I get my doctor’s phone number. Could this day get any worse?

“You’re free to go now. Tony made sure to tell me all about your problem with herpes. I assured him that this prescription wouldn’t mess with the medication you’re on.”

I shoot Tony the worst look possible. He’s trying to stifle his laugh. I feel the doctor before I hear him. His lips are right by my ear.

Holy creeper.

“Just so you know, that doesn’t change my attraction for you.”

“Okay, time to go,” I shout, jumping from the bed. I grab Tony’s arm and pull him from the room. I can feel the doctor’s eyes on me the whole time. Once in the lobby, I punch Tony.

“What the fuck, Tony? Herpes?”

“Hey, don’t get mad. It’s retaliation for making those girls think I was gay a couple months back. How was I supposed to know herpes wouldn’t scare him off. I was trying to do you a favor. That doctor was staring at your junk while you slept.”

I shudder.

“We need to file a sexual harassment suit against the employees of that hospital. Between my almost molestation by the hot nurses and your doctor hitting on you, we’ll definitely get a good chunk of change.”

“Can I go to your place? I want to get out of here.”

“Sure, but Emma is there.”

I give him a look and say, “Are you serious?”

He shrugs, “What can I say? She did me in man.”

“So you’re monogamous now? No more wingman?”

“No more wingman.”

“Well that sucks, especially now.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m moving out, and I was hoping to move in with you.”

“Wait, you’re moving out of your house?”

“Yeah, I want all of my shit out by the time Breezy gets off work tomorrow. I don’t plan on returning home until I know she’s left for work. I’m going to go buy a storage unit to hold my big stuff, but the rest I’m going to pack into boxes and get the hell out of Dodge.”

Tony looks concerned. “Are you sure you aren’t jumping the gun man? I know you’re pissed about Breezy getting a hickey and jumping back into a relationship with her ex, but don’t throw away ten years of friendship over sex.”

I shoot him a pained look. “Tony, it wasn’t just sex.”

“Then what was it?”

“I made love to her, man. I gave her my soul last night. I poured ten years of love and yearning into eight rounds of the hottest sex imaginable. Every single one of them was bareback.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I couldn’t help it. I always said the girl I fucked bareback would be the girl I marry. We both know who wears the veil in my dreams.”

“Yeah, Dr. Tracy,” Tony says with a laugh.

“Shut up, fucker,” I say, “if I could make a fist, you’d be eating it.’

“Good thing you’re a cripple now,” he grins. “So where you planning on staying since you can’t crash with me?”

“Well, Dashawn is out. I don’t think I can stay with them. I fucked Maggie, and that would be slightly awkward. I guess I have to go back to my parents’ house.”

“Will they take you in?”

“They don’t have a choice. I have nowhere to go.”

“That’s even more of a reason for you to stay. Work shit out with her, Max. Don’t be a douche.”

I sit there contemplating what he’s saying and sigh. “Do you love Emma?”

His face twists. “I don’t know. I guess so. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Do you see yourself marrying her?”

He shrugs. “I’ve had the thought once or twice.”

“I think about marrying Breezy every minute of every day. I want her to have my babies. I want to grow old with her and make her happy.”

“Okay, we both know that you are in love with her, so why do you have to move?”

“Imagine waking up every day to the woman you love in the arms of another man. Imagine watching him make her smile instead of you. Imagine her laughing, but you don’t have anything to do with it. Then imagine that same woman you love telling you that you’re nothing more than a mistake. That every day from the night you slept together to whatever days pass, are spent pretending that you don’t having feelings for her, only to salvage what little slice of friendship is left There’s no more wondering. There’s no more fantasy. I finally had Breezy, and frankly, I can’t spend another day in that house with her, unless she’s mine and mine only.”

Tony is quiet for a second. “When did you turn into such a wussy?” He asks, punching me in the arm.

“When I fell in love.”

He laughs. “Fine, you big idiot. I still disagree with you about moving out, but I’ll help you.”

“Thanks, Tony. I owe you one.”

He smiles. “Actually, I kinda owe you one.”

“Why is that?” I ask, putting my good hand on the handle of my car.

“That entire hospital thinks you have herpes. I think me helping you move is the least I can do.”

The next day I returned to the house a little after nine. I didn’t go home last night, and I had to sleep on Tony’s couch, listening to the animalistic bedroom noises coming from Tony’s room. It was a little disgusting. I’ve never been that vocal in the bedroom. Tony is a serious screamer. I know more about Tony’s sexual habits than I would like. Though, as much as I hate to admit, it was definitely a turn on to hear Emma spanking the crap out of him while he begged for more. I didn’t peg Emma as the dominatrix type, but she has that domineering persona down perfectly.

After a couple hours of packing boxes and moving the big shit over to a storage unit I rented, I sent Tony home. I figured even with a bum hand, I could take care of this myself. What I didn’t expect was how hard it is to carry boxes using a limp wrist for support. It took me way too long to get the boxes to my car. Before I knew it, it was time for Breezy to come home.

She left me a letter this morning. I avoided reading it, because I didn’t really want to hear what she had to say, but right before five, after my entire body was wrecked with exhaustion, I opened it up.

Dear Max,

I’m sorry things got all screwed up between us. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. There has always been a wall up between us when it came to the bedroom. I did that purposely, because I knew that you and I work so much better as friends. Breaking down that wall has caused too many conflicting emotions in me. You’re all I have, Max, my only family. Without you, I’m truly alone. Watching you break the mirror last night really shook me up. I knew that I hurt you in a way that I never intended. Please know that despite whatever feelings you do have for me, my only request is that we stay friends. I don’t want to lose you, Max. I know that you’re upset and angry about Travis. I can’t blame you for that. Had I known he was giving me a hickey, I would’ve stopped it. It was stupid and selfish of me to even leave with him. The truth is, confronting you scared me. I felt like you were giving me an ultimatum—it’s either us be together or nothing at all. I can’t do that, Max. I won’t gamble with our friendship on some whim that you and I may be perfect together. Don’t you see how much you mean to me? Don’t you see that there isn’t a man alive that means more to me than you do? Isn’t that love enough to keep us going?

I hope that when you read this that you will understand a little bit about where I’m coming from. I spent all night writing this damn letter. Seventeen drafts later, and I still think it sounds like shit. No amount of sorry, or please forgive me, will ever make up for what I did.

As for the sex . . . you’re right, I felt a connection. I felt so many emotions and things last night, and I just couldn’t handle them. I’m not sure what any of it meant. All I know is that it felt like we had reached a point in our relationship where everything changed. The innuendo game caused this mess, and though I really want my damn puppy, I know that in the long run we both lost. (Even if you got more than a kiss from me)

Max, your kisses set me on fire last night. Sex with you was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced, but it also scared the shit out of me. I need you to be okay with us just staying friends. I need you to realize that in the long run, that’s what is best for our relationship. Imagine if we fail. Imagine if almost eleven years of friendship are ruined because we decide to give a relationship a shot. It’s a gamble, Max, one I’m not willing to take with you.

I hope you know that I care for you. I hope you know how much of my heart you truly possess. There will never be another man who will ever shine as brightly in my eyes as you do. You’re my light, Max. Please don’t let that light burn out because of one foolish night of passion.

Always and forever your best friend,

Breezy

Why did I open this damn letter? Why?

I crumple up her letter and throw it into one of my boxes. I close the box and put a string of tape over the top. I’m crying bullets. They ricochet over my cheeks and fall onto the cardboard box I’m holding. It barely soaks it up. I’m trying to tape up with one hand, but it’s a lot more difficult than I expected it to be. Breezy really knows how to break a guy’s heart. At least she didn’t mention Travis being her perfect man. That would’ve killed me.

When I’m almost finished, I hear her car pull up into the driveway. Fuck, I was supposed to be gone before she got home. I try to wipe the tears from my eyes, but they are falling so fast and frequent that I can’t stop them. I’m like a faucet that’s broken. No amount of wrenching or twisting is going to get me to turn off right now.

I take a deep breath when I hear the knob turn. This isn’t going to be easy . . . but it’s time to move on, and finally let Breezy go.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Breezy

“Max? What’s going on?” Max is sitting on the floor in the middle of a cardboard kingdom. He won’t even make eye contact with me as he tapes up a box. “Max, talk to me. What’s going on?”

Finally, he looks up at me. I notice he has tears in his eyes.

“I can’t do this anymore, Breeanne.”

“Can’t do what anymore?” My heart is on hyper-overdrive. Already tears are threatening my eyes, and I don’t even know what’s going on. I see his hand inside the cast, and I freak out. He did that because of me and this stupid hickey on my neck. I absentmindedly rub my neck.

“This. Us. I can’t live with you anymore, Breeanne.” Why is he calling me Breeanne? What happened to Breezy?

“I don’t understand, Max. You’re moving out?”

He nods feebly.

“Why?”

“I’m in love with you, Breeanne. I have been since the day I first met you. I know it’s stupid, because you’ll never feel that way towards me, but I can’t help myself. The other night was the best night of my life. I was finally able to hold the woman of my dreams in my arms, kiss her, and make love to her until the sun came up the next morning. I gave you everything that night. My heart. My love. My dick. I’ve never fucked anybody bareback before, not once. I saved that for the woman I wanted to make my wife. I saved it for you, Breeanne. At one point I thought you were feeling the same thing; then Travis shows up and suddenly everything that happened was forgotten. I can’t do it. I know what it’s like to be with you now, and frankly, I just can’t spend another minute living beside you unless you’re mine.”