Innuendos (It Had 2 B U Book 1) (24 page)

The moment I got in the shower, I started to cry. I was so consumed by emotion that I lost it. It was like having sex with Max took me to another world—a world where being with him was possible, where our friendship wouldn’t end, where our life together wouldn’t be ruined. The shower was supposed to wash away all my feelings of regret. It was supposed to cleanse my burning desire to have him again. It was meant to rinse all of my emotions down the drain along with my shampoo; then he came in.

Even after I asked him to leave, he still came in the shower. I wasn’t supposed to feel that kind of love towards Max. Yet, every single time I felt him inside me, I wanted to scream it towards the heavens and profess my undivided love for Max. When he touched me again, my body sizzled. I wanted him. I couldn’t say no. The moment I felt his hands on me, it was over. I needed him inside me once more, so I let him devour me, and I devoured him. Sucking him off was something I thought about all night. The moment I had him in my grasp, I knew I would go through with it. What I didn’t expect was how turned on I was by him smacking my ass, or how I wanted him to keep doing it.

The moment we both came, my high was over. All those feelings I wanted to wash down the drain came swirling back up. Like a clogged drain pipe, my entire body flooded with emotion, and all I could do was run away. Once we finished cleaning each other, I bailed, running into the living room like a scared child. Max of course followed me, but it was enough time to collect my thoughts. I told him we needed to talk. Of course, when I told him it was a mistake, he argued with me. I could see it in Max’s eyes that he wanted more from me than just friendship. That thought frightened me more than wanting to say
I love you
. Why is it so strange to think of a forever with Max? It’s not like it would be the worst thing ever. We’ve known each other for years, and he’s always there when I need him. When I watched him dress, my body screamed to touch him again. He opened his mouth, and I could tell he was going to ask me to date him. I couldn’t hear it. What if things didn’t work out? Losing Max is not an option for me.

When the doorbell rings it’s like an omen from God. I hope whoever is behind that door can save me from having to confront Max some more.

“Coming,” I yell, hurrying to the door.

My breath immediately leaves my chest when I see Travis standing there.

“Hey,” he says, “can we talk?”

The moment he asks to talk, I feel nervous. Do I still smell like sex? Can he see it in my eyes how last night has changed me? I debate for a quick second about saying no and going back inside to talk to Max, but I realize facing Travis is a lot easier than confronting Max and these new feelings. I throw on some flip flops, grab my purse, and slam the door behind me.

“Sure, let’s go to breakfast or something,” I order him.

His face lights up. “Okay, how about we go back to my place. I’ll cook you something.”

No, no, no!
My body screams.
Going to Travis’s house is a very bad idea.

Despite the annoying voice in my head telling me to stay home with Max, I follow Travis to the car and let him open the door for me. His hand grazes my elbow and awkward butterflies raid my belly.

“Hey, Max,” Travis says, slamming my door.

I look out the window and meet Max’s eyes. They’re pleading for me to stay. I can’t look at him. It hurts too much. Like a coward, I look at my lap instead.

Travis gets in the car and squeezes my knee. “I’m so happy that you’re here right now, Bree. I have so much I would like to discuss with you.”

As Travis pulls off, I look over my shoulder and see Max shouting after me. I know he’s screaming my name, but right now going with Travis is easier than figuring out why my heart suddenly speeds up when I see Max.

It takes Travis a few minutes to get to his house. He comes around the side of his Corolla and opens the door for me. He takes my hand and helps me from the vehicle but doesn’t let go once I’m free.

“First Bree, I need to tell you how wrong I was to leave you the way I did. I have to admit, it still makes me leery that you live with a Greek God . . .”

“Actually, he’s Italian,” I mumble.

“Okay, Italian God,” he smarts off, trying to get a smile out of me.

I weakly lift up the corners of my mouth, but I’m suddenly having a panic attack and trying to calm myself down. I shouldn’t be here in Travis’s house right after having sex with Max. It feels wrong, and I almost feel like a dirty slut being here.

“I had a hard time seeing you out the other day having lunch with that gay guy. It really made me reevaluate my decision to be on a break. I know that it was a mistake, and I think we need to correct it.” Travis walks to the kitchen and pulls out a box of cereal. “Want some Wheaties?”

“Um, no thank you.”
Max would never offer me cereal in the morning. He would make me an omelet.

“What are you thinking right now?” He asks me, watching my face attentively.

That I want a damn omelet.

“Nothing much.”

“Have you thought about me at all? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?”

I look him in those pools of blue and practically swoon. I then see Georgette’s face flash into my memory and picture her going down on him after their luncheon. “Yeah, I’ve missed you, but I’m not really into dating guys who date Georgette. That heinous bitch is a walking STD.”

He laughs. “I didn’t touch her. After I saw you, I texted her and said I wasn’t feeling lunch anymore and needed to get back to my office. Do you know what I did when I returned?”

I stare at him waiting for the punch line.

“I pulled my phone from my pocket and looked at every single picture I had of us together,” he comments. He holds up his phone and shows me the picture of us hanging outside during that spontaneous trip to Colorado.
God, my nose was red in that picture
. He has it saved as his background.

“I’m sorry. I assumed she spent the better part of your lunch time on her knees sucking your dick.” I’ve suddenly resorted to bitchy comebacks. I’m kind of ashamed. Honestly, the guilt of sleeping with Max and then leaving with Travis is killing me.

“I guess I deserve that. You know the only reason I said yes to having lunch with her is because I wanted to make you jealous.” He takes a seductive step towards me. My heart races.
Close your legs you bitch. Don’t you dare do this to Max!

“Travis, don’t look at me that way.” My knees buckle when his hand grips my waist.

“Like what?” I feel his hand tickle up my side and playfully brush against the swell of my breast. I crane my neck instinctively, and he takes that as an invite. His lips gently follow the contours of my neck until he nibbles on my collarbone.

“Like you want to devour me,” my answer comes out breathy, and I’m instant putty in his hands. How can something feel so good and so wrong at the same time?

“Do you still love me,” he whispers. His hand has now started kneading my breast. I moan when his mouth comes down on the fabric, and he pulls my nipple between his teeth.

This is wrong. You’re being a whore. Don’t do this to Max without telling him how you feel first.

I ignore the little voice inside my head. My hands fight their way through his hair, and I rip him up to my lips. The moment his lips touch mine, I know I fucked up. Why am I trying to cover up Max with Travis? I know that’s exactly what I’m doing. It’s not that kissing Travis is wrong. In fact, it feels damn good. So good, I can’t stop him as I feel his breath on my neck, and then the instant suction as he sucks my skin into his lips. He stays there for a good five minutes devouring that one spot on my skin. When he finally comes up for air, he aggressively pushes me backwards until I’m sitting on his couch.

“No more kisses until you answer my question.” He crosses his arms and stands in front of me. He’s wearing tan slacks, and his erection is fighting his zipper in a battle to the death. It twitches, and I feel myself smiling. “Nope, eyes up here baby, no looking at my dick until you tell me what I want to know.”

“Do I still love you?” I think really hard on it. A long silence follows my words. It has only been three months since Travis and I were together. Kissing him and feeling his hands all over my body, still turns me on. The twinkle in his eye still brings on gigantic butterflies that devour my stomach. The question should be easy to answer, but it’s not. I’m in utter fucking turmoil right now. Have my feelings changed for Travis? Is it because of Max? Why can’t I say that I still love him? What’s wrong with me? “I don’t know Travis. It’s been three months. I’ve missed you, a lot, but the way you left me, destroyed me. It’s hard to bounce back from that.”

“Can we try again? Give me a chance to prove to you that you and I belong together. I can honestly say that I love you, Bree. If you need some time to figure out that you love me, too, then okay. All I want is for you to be my girl again. I can deal with you living with Max.”

“You can?”

“If it means being with you, then yes—I’m sure he’s a great guy. I really want to get to know the man who has been in your life for the last ten years. It’s obvious he cares about you, and anybody who cares about you I want to get to know.”

The mere mention of Max’s name makes me feel even dirtier for leaving him at the house. I really am a coward. I shouldn’t be sitting here listening to Travis pour his heart out when I’m going crazy inside for being such a wuss.

“Travis, I want to forgive you and act like everything is okay, but everything is not okay.” At least I answered that honestly
. I’m a wreck. A fucking hoochie slut.
“I’m not sure if you and I are really as good for each other as you think. I mean, we already broke up once.”

He falls to his knees and grabs my thighs. He pulls me towards him until my legs are wrapped around him and his crotch is positioned perfectly. There’s a fire in his eyes—a fire that is burning through my entire body and is gathering right between my legs. Fuck, this man is gorgeous. He grabs my hand and places it on the front of his pants.

“Do you see what you do to me?” His erection is pronounced. I try not to squeeze him, but I end up doing just that and he groans. “You get me this way every day. I see you in the building, and I remember what it’s like to be inside you. I remember how sweet my name sounds when it’s screamed from your lips, and how your mouth feels wrapped around my cock, milking me until I’m so insane that I can think of nothing but burying myself inside you.”

Is it hot in here? I think the air conditioner turned off. Yup, it’s definitely hot in here; I’m sweating.

“Travis, stop talking that way.”

“Fine, no more talking.” He makes his move. I’m caught a little off guard. I urgently push against his chest, but the minute his lips reach mine, I relent and open my mouth so his tongue can ransack my mouth. When I feel his hands start tugging down my sweat pants, the guilt comes back. When I feel his fingers start sliding into my underwear and working their way down towards my clit, I panic. I may want this to happen, but this CAN’T happen. I grab his wrist and pull it out of my underwear. He looks dumbfounded.

“Let’s take this slower, okay? I’m not going to sleep with you. We need to work back up to it.”

He rocks back on to his knees and runs his hand though his hair. “Can I at least taste you?”

“No,” I answer firmly.

“Can I feel how wet I’ve made you?”

“No, Travis. I want to take this slow. We already rushed this too much,” I say, rubbing my neck where he invoked his inner vampire and went all Edward on my jugular.

He grins. “Yeah, I may have marked you a little bit.”

“What?” I screech. I shoot up from the couch and run to the bathroom.

Fuck a duck in a dump truck and call him Stan! He gave me a fucking hickey! Not just a hickey, but a fucking purple bruise the shape of Maine—Yes, that state up north that might as well be in Canada!

“Is it a bad thing that I left my mark on you?” Travis asks from the doorway. “If we’re truly getting back together, it shouldn’t matter.

“I haven’t had a hickey since I was fifteen and first experienced what second base was.” I glare at him.

“Sorry, I got really caught up in the moment,” he winks. “If I had my way, I’d leave a trail of those down to that sweet pussy of yours.”

I cover my vagina and gasp, “There will never be a Maine size bruise on my vagina.”

“Maine?”

“Look at it! It looks like the fucking shape of Maine.”

“Maybe it’s a sign that we should move there.”

“Or it’s an omen that you’re part vampire, and I should be a little more attached to my blood. I got my eye on you, Travis. Don’t make me stake you.”

He laughs, and it shakes his whole torso. “God, I love you.” He waits for me to say it back, but I smile instead.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back, but I need to know, Bree, if we can make this work? Will you give me another shot?” His hands come down on my bare arms, and he hugs me strongly into his body. “Please, say yes.”

The words come out before I can rethink them. “Okay.”

He brings his lips to mine and kisses me firmly. “We’ll make this work, Bree. I promise.”

After he kisses me, I manage to talk him into taking me home. Being here is too much temptation, and unfortunately, I have to deal with the Max situation. I’ve decided that sleeping with Max was a mistake. We were both horny and stupid. It really didn’t mean anything. It was a one-night-stand that happened to be with my best friend. That feeling of love that overwhelmed me while Max was buried deep inside me was a fluke. I wasn’t thinking straight. I had a moment of weakness, and I let it take over me. What is that saying? Curiosity killed the cat? Wondering all these months what it would be like to be with Max finally caught up to me, and unfortunately, my pussy ended up being slaughtered in an entirely good way—
too good, real good.

I take a deep breath before my hand turns the knob on my front door. I don’t want to hurt Max. I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Stopping this before it gets too serious is the only way this can work. Max is my lifeline. Without him, I’d truly be lost.