Inevitable (37 page)

After
waving bye to Lori I made my way over to him. Someone’s foot
accidently brushed past him as I approached and I swear his face
turned a deathly shade of grey as he tried to conceal the pain he
felt from his face. In that moment I wondered if I’d ever be able
too look at him again without my heart feeling like it was being
yanked from my body.

“
You don’t have practice today do you?” was the first thing
I said
as I
lowered myself down next to him on the vivid-green grass. There was
no way he was fit enough to endure the physical contact football
would inevitably involve. He shook his head and flicked his
cigarette butt towards the parked cars.

“
No, I’m good. Stop worrying!” he said thoughtfully, tucking
a loose curl of hair behind my ear. Then he patted the grass beside
him, signalling for me to lie down with him. I glanced around,
feeling a little silly but then caught a glimpse of his pleading
puppy eyes and gave in. I tossed my rucksack on the floor beside me
and lay top-to-tail with him, resting my head on his
stomach.

“
Have you heard from Trudy?” he went on to ask.

“
No. Should I have?”

“
Well, um, I think she’s planning to ask if she bring Kara over
to your house after school,” he revealed nervously. My heart rate
accelerated to a thousand miles an hour. Then, taking my face in
his hands he said, “don’t worry, lish. I’ll be with
you.”

“
W-what about your dad? I can’t imagine he’s too pleased with
this whole situation.” And I don’t want him taking it out on you, I
thought but couldn’t say it out loud.

“
That’s Trudy’s call to make,” he said, shrugging. But I was
sure I saw him flinch slightly. Even though this was in no way
Blaine’s fault, he was going to suffer for this. I could see the
fear clouding over his magnificent blue irises.

“
Will you ever tell me
…” I trailed off, as unsure of how to ask as I was
about receiving the answer.

“
I don’t- I… Maddie I just-”

“
Shh…” I placed a finger over his stuttering lips. “It’s okay,
Blaine. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to be ready.” I
prayed that would be both near and far away in equal
measure.

“
I don’t deserve you. How can you be so good to me after
everything I
’ve put you through?” He blinked forcefully and looked away
from me. I suspected he was trying to stop himself for
crying.

“
Because I kind of like you,” I said playfully. “Look at
me,” I ordered softly. Slowly, he turned his head and locked his
eyes onto mine. “But no more pushing me away. Do you hear me,
Blaine? I can’t take that again. I love you.
Nothing
will ever stop me loving you. You
really need to start believing that if we’re to have any chance of
a future.”

A warm, almost
surprised, smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“
You think we have a future?” I didn’t know whether to hug him
or slap him.

“
Blaine I
know
we have a future. Don’t you?”

“
Yes. Well, I mean I hoped… but-”

“
No buts,” I said, silencing him with a soft kiss. He
groaned into my mouth and I automatically went to hug him before
remembering the delicate state of his skin and
pulled myself away. Then I stood
up and brushed the loose blades of glass off my white t-shirt –
noticing a stain was already setting in.
Damn.
“Now piss off. I need to get to
class.”

He let out a
soft laugh. It was only small but it was genuine. It was…
normal.

“
Piss off yourself.”

Maddie

T
hanks to an impromptu urge to go to the bathroom I was a
little late getting to the cafeteria for lunch. Blaine was going
home to be with Kara whilst Trudy made the revelation that would
tip her whole world upside down. I sent him a text as I walked to
lunch wishing him good luck. I knew first hand how Kara was going
to feel and in turn I knew how upsetting that would be for Blaine
to watch.

When I eventually got
to the cafeteria I noticed Lori’s seat at Sky’s
table was empty. Immediately I turned around to leave but then
stopped in my tracks when I heard Lori’s infectious giggle in the
background. After taking a quick scan of the crowded room I noticed
her sat at the round table by the window with Michelle. They were
chatting and laughing, and every so often Michelle would pick an
invisible piece of lint off Lori’s arm. To anyone else it was just
a run of the mill conversation between friends. But there was an
enchanting glint in Lori’s vivid green eyes that screamed she was
in love.

“
Maddie, over here!” Lori called, prizing her eyes away from
Michelle long enough to catch me standing in the doorway. I waved
at her and made my way over to their table, not bothering to grab
any lunch.

“
Hey,” I said, nodding to both of them.

“
You’re in trouble,” Michelle said, pointing a finger at me.
My heart stuttered.

“
What? Why?”

“
You told Don you’d call him with all the gory details of
your party on Saturday. He’s not happy with you, girl.”
Shit
.
I told him I’d call him Sunday.

“
Meh,” I said, waving her off with my hand. “I’ll pick him
up the latest
copy of Cosmo on my way into work. He’ll soon get over it.”
Michelle giggled and then nodded.

“
Lori, I really need to talk with you. Can we go sit in your
car or something?” I hated asking and dragging her away from her
lunch ‘date’. If she felt even a fraction of what I felt for Blaine
for Michelle, then she’d probably been counting down the minutes
until meeting up with her for lunch all morning.

“
Um, sure. Is everything okay?” she asked, evidently
concerned.

“
Yeah. Well, no. Can I explain in the car?” My eyes locked
with Michelle’s for a brief moment and I was sure she looked a
little hurt. Guilt rippled through my veins as I suspected she was
wondering why I wasn’t trusting her with whatever secret I was
about to share with Lori. The truth was, Michelle was lovely and I
definitely considered her a friend… just not my
best
friend.

As I followed Lori out to her car I wondered if she would
tell Michelle what I was about to tell her. No. She wouldn’t. I was
sure. I mean as much as I loved Blaine I would never – and never
did – betray Lori’s trust. Then I decided I didn’t think I’d care
even if she did. At least not with
my
secret. There and then I resolved not to
divulge
anything
more about Blaine.

After sliding
into the car Lori immediately shifted to face me and plopped a hand
on my knee, staring at me nervously as if I was about to detonate.
Cutting to the chase I dived straight in and told her all about my
mum, Trudy and my nerves over meeting Kara ‘officially’ this
afternoon. Then I told her in detail what happened with that jerk
Jared at the party and how Blaine and I reconciled the next day –
purposely skipping the part where Blaine pushed me away and
especially the part where I went back to him later in the day.

Needless to say the conversation involved
lots of gasps and
pauses on Lori’s part, and plenty of phrases like ‘Jesus’, ‘holy
shit’ and at least three times I heard ‘no fucking way’. Even
though she didn’t say it directly, I was also pretty sure she
thought I was a pushover for getting back together with Blaine
after the way he treated me. More so when I told her that Blaine
knew the truth about Trudy and kept it from me. I couldn’t blame
her for thinking that however – she didn’t know the full extent of
his side of the story. Then again, neither did I.

“
And seriously what the hell is going on with his face? He
looks freakin’ homeless.”

I snorted –
actually snorted – back a giggle.

“
Hey, I think it’s sexy. Very masculine don’t you think?” I
teased.

“
Yeah. If you’re into screwing grandpa’s,” she shot back. I
rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling as I did it.

Lori’s phone
beeped just as we’d decided to make our way back inside. Her jaw
dropped open when she tapped the screen and started reading.

“
What is it?” I asked, feeling comfortable enough with Lori to
unleash my inner nosey bitch. She hesitated for a moment, glancing
between me and the phone as if contemplating whether to tell me or
not.

“
It’s from Bonnie. Apparently Jared is being discharged
today and Scott Gilbert has just seen Blaine’s dad going into his
hospital room.”

Shit. This can’t ha
ve been a good thing. Courtesy of Blaine’s fists
Jared was recovering in hospital with three cracked ribs and a
broken nose after he may or may not have been planning to rape me.
I guess I’d never know for sure – thank god. Not only that but
Scott Gilbert, who I assumed must have been his friend hence his
presence at the hospital, had not too long ago been on the
receiving end of Blaine’s temper as well. Again, because of
me.

It can’t have
been a coincidence that Mitch was now visiting Jared at the
hospital. He must have found out who was responsible somehow, and
he would most definitely not let such a thing go unpunished. Knots
made of barbed wire began to form in my stomach. Blaine was already
broken. He had been so close to giving up – on me, on himself… on
life. How much more could he take before I lost him for good?

After tapping
a reply Lori’s phone beeped again almost instantly.

“
She says she’s gonna ask Pete if he knows what’s going on.
I’ve got to get to class but I’ll text you if she finds anything
out,” Lori said, reading the reply aloud as she read it. I was
pretty sure Pete was Bonnie’s boyfriend who also happened to be
friends with Scott Gilbert and therefore probably Jared
too.

“
Thanks,” I said, before giving Lori a thanks-for-listening
peck on the cheek and getting out of the car. “Oh and Lori?” I
called back as we started walking our separate ways.

“
Yeah?”

“
Can you not mention any of that to Blaine? About his dad being
at the hospital I mean.”

She
pursed her eyebrows together and made a face which I interpreted as
saying ‘haven’t secrets caused you enough shit already?’

“
Sure, I won’t mention it. But to be honest, Maddie
if
I
found out about it
then it’s only a matter of time before he does too. It’s probably
half way around school already.”

I sighed
heavily. She was right of course.

“
I just want to tell him myself that’s all. Thanks,
Lori.”

She nodded and
flashed me a concerned smile before walking off. Did I want to tell
Blaine? Or did I want to ignore it and hope it all went away? Yeah,
because that could actually happen, right?

When I reached
my English classroom my phone buzzed in my pocket. My throat felt
like it was trying to seal itself closed as I pulled it out. I was
expecting it to be an explanation for Mitch’s bedside visit to
Jared. I don’t know if what I read was better or worse than that.
The text was from Blaine.

The deed is
done. X

“
Is that it?” I snapped out loud, causing my classmates to
stare at me like I’d gone insane. I was in a room full of people
and the bell had just rang so I couldn’t call him but I needed more
information than what his pissy text provided.

How did she
take it? Does she hate me? X

I was so sure Kara would hate me. She had
just discovered she
had been lied to her entire life. She would need somebody to blame
and that wouldn’t be Trudy – she was her mother and you love your
mother unconditionally. Now here I was, some lowly British kid
she’d never heard of a few months ago coming along to steal all
Trudy’s attention. Although that wasn’t the case of course I was
sure that’s how she would see it. So yep, all that coupled with
raging prepubescent hormones, she would definitely hate
me.

She’s shocked.
Confused. Hurt I guess. But she doesn’t blame u. She’s a good kid.
She will get thru this. We will ALL get thru this. I love you.
X

I exhaled contentedly as I read Blaine’s reply, though I
couldn’t be sure if he was telling the truth or just trying to make
me feel better. Either way, he
did
make me feel better. He always did.

Afternoon classes dragged impossibly slowly and by the time
the final bell rang I had learned absolutely nothing. I suppose
that happens when you spend more time staring out of the window
than paying attention to the teacher.
When I exited my last classroom of the day
one thing was certain in my mind – I would be repeating my senior
year.

Blaine was
waiting for me by his car smoking a cigarette. I know I shouldn’t
find it glamorous and that smoking kills and all that jazz but
Jesus Blaine looked hot with a dwindling cigarette perched between
his lips. It was that typical ‘bad boy’ image – all rough and
smouldering.

As he drove us
to my house he filled me in on how his afternoon with Trudy and
Kara went. She seemed to take the news a lot better than I did and
Blaine said she was even looking forward to meeting me this
afternoon. I didn’t know whether he was pacifying me, but as he
pulled up outside my house I guess I was soon about to find
out.