Inevitable (34 page)

“
Sorry,” Treacle said, “you go first.

“
No it’s okay. You talk,” my mum replied.

Immediately I
catapulted myself from the chair.

“
I’m sorry but this is just too fucking weird!” I paced the
room, striding three steps to one edge of the room and then back
again.

“
We just want to talk to you,” my mum said. Seething rage
seared through my veins like wildfire.

“
What the hell is this, mother’s fucking united?” Both mums
sighed in unison. Jesus, this had to be some fucked-up parallel
universe. “Go on then,” I snapped. “Talk!”

I don’t quite know how it happened but after
three hours of
talking, screaming and crying Trudy and I… hugged. I’d even stopped
calling her ‘Treacle’ in my mind. It just didn’t seem…
appropriate
, anymore. It was like a bizarre episode of This Is Your
Life as she told me all about her childhood and the events that led
her down the road of drugs and prostitution.

Before falling pregnant with a child she didn’t want but
was forced to keep by her parents,
Pamela Davis, Trudy’s mother –
my
grandmother – was a
dancer, well on her way to gaining entry into London’s prestigious
Royal Ballet School. Naturally an ever-growing belly threw a
spanner in the works and Trudy said her mother made it clear every
single day that she never wanted her – that she ruined her
life.

Apparently, after her parent’s deaths,
Pamela showed more affection to
her bottle of vodka than she did her daughter and by the time Trudy
was twelve, her mother had drank herself into a bottomless pit of
debt. Blaming Trudy for everything that went wrong in her life, she
brought home a male ‘friend’ one day and told Trudy it was time to
start ‘paying’ for the mess she’d created. Trudy gained her first
‘client’ when she was just thirteen years old.

I would
have to be a heartless monster not to feel a little sorry for her
at this point, though – maybe selfishly – I still didn’t see this
as justification for her abandoning me. She went on to describe how
one of her regulars offered to ‘manage’ her and even provided her
with a small but fully furnished flat. Tears bubbled around the
edges of her heavily mascaraed eyes when she said that her mum had
packed her bags before she’d even said yes to the offer.

Turns out my mum –
Annie
– had the same ‘manager’ and Trudy would
essentially become her new flatmate. Impossibly Trudy’s life
spiralled even further out of control when she began drinking
heavily to block out the emotional pain. Alcohol led to drugs.
Drugs led to debt. And an unpaid debt led to Trudy being raped and
beaten when she was eighteen –
my
age.

Yep.
Turns out my father was a violent rapist.

I felt
sick. I doubled over with pain from the dry heaves ripping through
my stomach. I didn’t bother to get up and go the bathroom – there
was nothing left to throw up. I felt empty in every way
possible.

When Trudy revealed that I was born addicted to heroin and
had spent the first month of my life in a special care unit, tears
pricked my eyes as I imagined the tiny baby cocooned in an
incubator and hooked up to all kinds of wires and machines. The
vision seemed so surreal – in no way could I imagine that fighting
little girl being
me.

Trudy’s ‘excuse’ for leaving me behind was that although
her best friend was pretty screwed up (
her
words), she wasn’t half as bad as she was.
In some warped way I found sense in her words. My mum had been a
borderline alcoholic for as long as I could remember but although
she dabbled in drugs, she’d never hit the hard stuff – mainly weed
and the odd line of coke.

What didn’t make any sense to me however was why the hell
an obscenely rich and successful American business man with a young
boy to look after would bring someone as fucked up as Trudy into
his life. With that much money there would unquestionably have been
a string of gold diggers lurking in the wings practically drooling
over the idea of becoming his trophy wife.
Control maybe? Perhaps he wanted to
‘own’ her in every sense of the word. When I asked the question,
Trudy simply shrugged.

Mitch checked her straight into some kind of rehab clinic
when he brought her home which from her description sounded more
like a bazillion-star hotel. She was clean within a month, married
within two and carrying Kara – my…
sister
– a month later. She had the perfect life
at last.

So why wasn’t
I in it?

This was when she threw me some dodgy excuse about Mitch
being ‘settled’ and not being a fan of change. What a croc of shit.
You can’t make much more of a severe change than leaving your young
son
behind
whilst you head off on a business trip and coming back a couple of
weeks later with a new mum who was addicted to crack!

But then I saw it. When she said Mitch’s name she had that
same terrified glint in her eye that I’d so often –
too
often – seen in
Blaine’s. It would almost certainly not have been visible to
everyone else, but to me – someone who knew exactly what her sick
bastard of a husband was capable of – I could see she was afraid of
him. I imagined he didn’t want me in his life, and so he made damn
sure she was too scared to go against him.

And of
course she had Kara on the way too. A part of me wanted to hate
Kara for being the daughter she chose to keep. I was jealous of the
girl who had grown up with everything whilst I had nothing. I was
pretty sure she’d never had to scrub at the carpet for days on end
to try and erase the smell of her mum’s vomit. Or don some pink
rubber gloves which you had set aside specifically for the task of
scouring the house for used condoms. Or brought a friend home to
the sight of a hairy arse pummelling into your naked
mother…

But that
was a selfish and jealous part of me. It wasn’t Kara’s fault. I
wouldn’t wish my upbringing on her – on anyone for that matter. I
also didn’t regret it. No matter what Trudy’s reasons – justified
or not – she still left me. Annie didn’t. And even now I knew she
would still fight for me until the day she died. She loves me and
has raised me the best she knew how.

By the time Trudy and I ended up hugging – or rather
she
hugged
me
and I didn’t back
away – I decided I didn’t hate Trudy. I still didn’t think I
understood her decisions and there was still so much more I wanted
–
needed
– to know, but for now I was pretty sure I could look at
her without rushing away to throw up.

“
I’d best be getting back,” Trudy said, dabbing the mascara
splodges from under her eyes with a tissue from her handbag before
applying some concealer.

“
Will you take me with you?” All three of us gasped in unison.
I hadn’t planned to ask that question, it just sort of… fell
out.

“
Maddie?” I could almost see my mum’s heart slipping into
her stomach through the sheer fabric of her pink satin nighty. She
thought I was leaving – going off to start a new life with my new
mum. There was more chance of me growing a fifteen-inch
penis.

“
I want to see Blaine,” I clarified. My mum exhaled deeply –
like she’d been holding onto that breath for hours.

“
That’s not a good idea, Maddie,” Trudy said. “Mitch is
very, um…
strict
-”

“
Cut the crap, Trudy. I know exactly what kind of sick son
of a bitch Mitch is.” I was bordering on Hate Trudy territory again
and I had to drag in a few calming breaths.

“
Maddie!” Mum bellowed. Trudy’s jaw dropped open.

“
Okay,” Trudy said, dropping her head.

“
Okay?
” Okay what? Okay she would take me, or okay he was a son
of a bitch?

“
Okay, I’ll take you.”

“
Thank you,” I said with a genuine smile.

“
But I need you to wait in the pool house while I talk to
Mitch. He was called back from our night away due to some kind of
work related business or another but he should have done with that
by now. I’m sure I can convince him to take us back to the hotel
for the night. I’d…well, I’d rather he didn’t see you.”

She
didn’t say it directly but again I knew that’s because she was
scared of him. I found myself wondering what kind of things she’s
had to endure with him. Was it as bad as what Blaine goes through?
Why the hell could no one stand up to this prick?

“
How will you do that?” I asked, suddenly nervous that her plan
would go tits up and I’d be sleeping on the hard pool house floor
all night.

“
I’ll cry,” she said flippantly, as if this was something
she was an expert at. Although, would a cold-hearted motherfucker
like Mitch even care if she was upset?
Let’s hope so.
“Don’t worry, Maddie. You’ll get
to see him,” she assured, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded.
I had no choice but to believe her.

After giving my mum a hug so tight I almost collapsed one
of her lungs, I followed Trudy out to her car. She tried to make
small talk on the way to her mansion but my emotions were still too
raw to be arsed
about the fucking weather. The weather! Seriously! When she
pulled up outside the four berth garage she gave me the key to the
pool house and told me to wait five minutes so she could distract
Mitch before I got out of the car.

Then she
proceeded to adjust her interior mirror and stare at herself in it.
Was now really the time to worry whether her lipstick was
flawless?

“
What are you doing?” I asked impatiently.

“
A little prior preparation,” she said, cocking an eyebrow.
I was getting restless. Surely she could preen herself later. But
then I saw her dampen her finger and rub it vigorously around her
eyes. She purposely smudged her mascara and smeared trails of
eyeliner down her cheeks. She looked like she’d been a hysterical
mess and I suspected that was the exact look she was going
for.

Christ, the
conniving cow was good.

“
Remember, five minutes,” she stated as she opened her car
door. “Once you’re in the pool house
don’t
come out until you hear us leaving. I’ll leave the
patio doors by the pool unlocked for you.” I nodded. By the time I
thought it might have been wise to ask ‘but what if I
don’t
hear you leave?’ she
was already gone.

The five
minutes felt like an hour but the tiny LED clock on the dashboard
assured me it was in fact only five minutes. Taking a deep breath I
stepped out of the car, keeping myself bent over slightly as I
slowly eased the door closed and gently pushed on it until I heard
it click.

Fuck I was
nervous. I felt like an MI6 agent on some kind of top secret
mission and the safety of the whole world was relying on my
success.

“
Davis… Maddie Davis,” I whispered in my best James Bond accent
as I started tiptoeing past the garages. Yes, I really am that much
of a loser.

I was on the verge of crapping my pants. In fact when the
tip of my shoe knocked into a flowerpot as I scurried around the
side of the house I had to pat the back
of my pants just to make sure I
hadn’t.

I hadn’t I can
assure.

Still bending down slightly I reached the pool house
without being assassinated. Pulling the key Trudy gave me from my
pocket I glanced over each of my shoulders in turn before going
inside. I’m not really sure
why
I looked around. I guess it’s just what people on secret
ops do in movies. I mean, if anyone had been standing there it’s
not like I would have pulled out my weapon and made a run for it
whilst shooting under my legs as I karate kicked my way the hell
out of there. Let’s face it, I probably would have just stood there
petrified and pissed my knickers.

The pool house was dark and I must have tripped over at
least three different things whilst I scrambled around looking – or
feeling – for somewhere to sit. Eventually my eyes acclimatised
somewhat and
I made out the shape of a sun lounger so I perched myself
on the edge of that whilst I drummed my fingers on my knees as I
waited. And waited. And waited…

I have no idea how much time had passed before I heard
Mitch and Trudy’s muffled voices coming out of the house. It was
too dark to see the time on my watch and stupidly I had forgot my
phone. The muffled voices grew
progressively louder as they made their way to the
block of garages although they were still too far away for me to
comprehend what they were saying. That was irrelevant though – all
that mattered was that they were leaving.

Moments later
I heard the slamming of a car door, shortly followed by another
one. Then came the revving of an engine and the sound of gravel
crunching beneath the heavy tyres. Gradually all sounds of movement
disappeared. They were gone. Blaine was alone.

Suddenly, I
wondered what the hell I was doing here.