Inevitable (30 page)

At lunch
my ears were drawn to the furore erupting from the cafeteria table
where Maddie was sitting with Lori and Michelle. I’d overheard
Maddie telling Lori how her mom’s hospital appointment went when I
crossed them in the halls after second period. That was why she was
late today.

At the table
Lori was clapping her hands together and giggling and squealing as
she reeled off the plans for Maddie’s party tomorrow. I stole a
glance in her direction. She was smiling, but it was forced. It was
the smile where the corners of her cute, plump lips turned up at
the corners but her pink cheeks remained unaffected. I knew she was
trying to look interested in the party plans. I also knew she would
be dreading it. Maddie hates the spotlight being on her. I’m sure
she would rather just snuggle down for the night with shit T.V. and
a bag of M&M’s.

My mind
wandered to the ring I’d bought for her. It was tucked away in the
drawer of my bedside table under a copy of GQ. That heavy feeling
returned in my chest when I realised she’d never get to see it.
Maybe I could give it Lori to give to her? I shook my head at
myself. That would be selfish. I’d just fuck with her head. I
either had to give in and beg her to forgive me, be with her again,
give her everything – all of me… or I had to steer well fucking
clear and let her move on.

The first wasn’t an option, so I
guessed she’d never see the
ring.

**********

What the hell
was I doing? I drove straight through the open gates and onto
Lori’s drive. I parked inconspicuously at the end of the row. My
car blended in perfectly with all the others. Plus, people would
probably be too wasted to notice or care by now anyway.

I just sat in my car like a deranged fucking stalker for
almost two hours. I didn’t know what I was hoping to achieve. I had
no plans to even speak to Maddie if I saw her. I just wanted
–
needed
– to see her. Just a glimpse of her on her birthday. I just
wanted to know if she was happy, if she was having a good time and
then I would leave.

Just a few weeks ago I had so many plans for this
day. I was going to
take her to The Crystal for dinner. I’d even planned to have Lori
help me pick out an evening dress for her. I’d gotten her an iPod
and loaded a shit load of music by British bands she’d mentioned
missing since she moved over here and I was going to give her that
at dinner to throw her off the scent of her ‘real’ gift.

Then I was going
to drive her to San Francisco, walk her down Baker
Beach to watch the sunset whilst I explained the history of the
Golden Gate Bridge. I would then suggest we look for rock-pools,
maybe start up a splash-fight. After I challenged her to see who
could come up with the most interesting rock-pool finds I would
drop the eternity ring into one and wait for her to find
it.

Lastly, I had finally got round to ordering her as many
British candy bars as I could find off the internet. For the last
few weeks I’ve had a stash of Maltesers, Mars bars, Aero bars and a
couple of other things that I can’t remember the name of hidden
under my bed. I also snuck in some M&M’s and Skittles to prove
that we do have
some
of the same things over here. Then I threw in some Hershey
bars so she could see ‘us American’s’ might possibly even do some
things better.

That was
all what I should be doing right now – not violating about
fifty stalking regulations.

After slamming my palm into the wheel in utter frustration
with how fucking pathetic I was, I
brought the car to life. Then I killed it
instantly when I saw Maddie emerging from the flashing lights
inside the house. She was making her way outside in the shortest –
and seriously fucking sexiest – black dress. It had a v so deep it
almost reached the top of her panties. Fuck, she looked
good.

Jared Evans
– a junior who got kicked off the football team for smoking
pot in the showers - followed behind her and put his hand on the
small of her back as he ushered her towards the double garage. What
the actual fuck? Maddie smiled and looked back at him. It wasn’t
a
real
smile though. She was faking it – I knew her too well. I
curled my fingers around the handle of my car door – ready to leap
out and floor the slimy fucker for touching my girl.

She wasn’t
mine.

The thought
made me sick to my stomach and reluctantly I prized my fingers off
the handle. My other hand hovered over the handbrake as I psyched
myself up to leave. I was silently telling myself to drive away, to
look anywhere except at Maddie. It wasn’t working. My car was still
stationary. My eyes were still fixed on her glossy brown hair which
she’d curled and let fall down the sides of her porcelain face.

I shifted my
hands to the wheel when I saw her lean up against the side wall of
the garage. When he moved in front of her and leaned in so their
bodies were actually touching my fingers gripped around the leather
so tightly my grazed knuckles turned white. I didn’t want to watch
this. I shouldn’t be watching this. So why the fuck was I watching
it?

It felt like my heart had flown out of my mouth in a
tsunami of vomit and then got ran over by great big motherfucking
truck when the grimy bastard started kissing her. He fucking kissed
her! His lips actually landed on hers. On Maddie’s. On
my
Maddie’s!

She wasn’t
mine.

I tried to
massage the tension out of my jaw as I willed myself to look away.
Crap lot of use that did – I was still staring. I squinted my eyes
as I struggled to see the expression on her face. Was she enjoying
what was happening? Was she kissing him back? In the dimly lit
driveway I couldn’t see well enough to be sure.

My
stomach twisted when their bodies started moving. He was
practically dry humping her. Her head was flitting from side to
side like she was in utter ecstasy, her curls bouncing off her
cheeks. I rolled my eyes. He couldn’t be that fucking good. I felt
sick. Was I really about to watch the only girl I’ve ever loved
screw some stoner douchebag up a fucking wall?

That was
when I saw her hands clamp down on his shoulders. He pulled them
off, wedged her wrists together and held them down by her side as
she wriggled beneath him. He slid his free hand up her skirt and
then I saw her leg struggling against him. He had it pinned down
with his knee.

Fuck! She was
trying to kick him off!

I practically
pole-vaulted from my car and ran towards them without closing the
door behind me.

“
I said no!” Maddie screamed as I got nearer.

A nanosecond
later my fist was clutching the back of his blue-striped shirt. I
pulled him off her and slammed his body into the wall of the house
adjacent to the garage. He cried out as his skull cracked against
the brick.

“
You don’t fuck
ing touch her!” I yelled as I pummelled my fist
into his face.

The feeling of
his nose snapping against my knuckles satisfied me. The sound of
his blood squelching as I thrust my balled hands into his skin
again and again was gratifying.

“
Blaine!” Maddie whimpered. I ignored her. “Stop!
Please!”

I didn’t stop. Even when he slid to the ground, trying to
shield his face with his forearms I kept going. Once he lay flat on
the ground I changed tactic. I kicked him. I rammed my foot into
the perverted bastard over and over. I enjoyed the sounds he choked
out when I hear
d his ribs break against my shoe. He spluttered and
grunted. Then he wailed like a giant fucking pussy.

It spurred me
on and I kept kicking.

Then I was
being restrained. Strong arms wrapped around me from behind,
pinning my arms down by my sides.

“
You’re gonna fucking kill him!” Jason’s voice blared in my
ears.

That was my
plan.

“
Let the fuck go of me!” I snapped, struggling to break free.
“He was hurting her god dammit! She said no! He was gonna fucking
rape her!” I blasted.

“
Well he ain’t now, man. Look at him! You’ve made your
point.” I looked to the floor. Jared was sprawled on his back. His
face was so swollen he was barely recognisable and there was blood
seeping out of every visible inch of skin. It wasn’t enough
though.

He was still
breathing.

“
Let go of me, asshole!”

“
How about we forget that dick then and look at
her!
Go on, look at
her!”

My eyes rolled towards Maddie. She was still leaning
against the garage wall with her arms wrapped around herself. She
was crying. She was shaking. She was… terrified. Shit, was she
terrified of
me?

My body
relaxed to the point I thought I was going to pass out. Jason
released me immediately. In my head I was walking over to Maddie. I
was comforting her. Holding her. Trailing kisses along her jaw.
Telling her everything was going to be okay and I would never let
anyone hurt her ever again.

In reality, I
was running back to my car and driving the fuck out of there.

Maddie

When I got home Lori was refusing to leave me. I
appreciated her concern but I just didn’t want her there. I didn’t
want anybody there. Besides, Lori’s obvious edginess would have
only made my mum suspicious.
Thankfully after convincing her I just needed to
sleep and that I would call her the second I woke up, she left –
albeit reluctantly.

I
felt awful about what had happened. She had gone to so much
effort to make sure I had a good time – streamers, balloons,
alcohol… She’d invited everyone in her address book and their plus
three’s, and even stolen some of the CD’s I’d picked up in a
charity shop my first week here without me noticing to make sure
the music was to my taste. Then I go and repay her by taking it too
far with some guy I didn’t even like and having the night finish
with the scene of police cars and ambulances invading the grounds
of her house.

Jason
whisked me away into the house before the police arrived and told
me to keep my mouth shut, which I did. He said they would just put
what happened down to us being two drunk teenagers and that Blaine
would get in a shit load of trouble. And that was just the police –
I didn’t even want to think about how many strikes that would earn
him from his father.

I was only just starting to worry about
keeping quiet. I must have
surely broken some kind of law. I’d never broken the law before.
What if I was arrested? Christ, they still have the death penalty
in America don’t they?

Right in
the middle of me scaring myself to death with visions of me being
strapped down to a wired-up wooden chair, my phone
bleeped.

Holy fuck.

I’m sorry

He was sorry?
Blaine was sorry! Sorry for what? Following me? Half beating Jared
to death? Breaking my heart into so many pieces it struggled to
beat every single second of every single minute of every single
hour of every single fucking day?

Sorry!

I’d done
so well not to cry for at least ten hours today, but that had
totally been counteracted by the fact I’d done nothing but for the
last three. My head pounded as I relived the evening. Why was
Blaine even there? Was he coming to see me? Was he finally going to
explain what went wrong? Would I even want him to
anymore?

Yes. Yes of
course I would.

Whatever
the reason I had never been so pleased to see anyone in my life. I
didn’t want to go outside with Jared in the first place. It was
Michelle who suggested I could use it as an opportunity to see if I
was ready to move on. Something along the lines of ‘kiss him and
you’ll know’. And so I did… kind of. I let him kiss me, but I
couldn’t bring myself to kiss him back. Instead I just stood there
like a corpse while he slobbered all over my face.

I remember
then whispering ‘stop’ into his mouth. He didn’t. If anything his
grip around me became tighter. His lips worked even firmer against
mine. I tried to push him off but he grabbed my hands and bound my
wrists together with his fingers. Tears scratched at my eyes when
his hand trailed up my thigh. I shouted no but he just laughed and
carried on.

In the blink
of an eye he was gone. I felt on the verge of fainting when I
exhaled for the first time since he’d kissed me. It took me a few
seconds to comprehend what I was seeing. Blaine had Jared pinned
against the wall opposite me, punching him so hard I could hear his
bones crack.

I shook my
head as I remembered every vivid detail, trying to shake it all
away because it was making me nauseous. It didn’t work. My mind was
flooded with snapping sounds and images of blood spurting from
gaping wounds. With that thought I ran to the bathroom and gripped
onto the cool porcelain toilet with both hands. I spewed my guts up
until there was nothing left and then I sank to the floor, resting
my flushed cheek against the cool tile as dry heaves and sobs
wracked through my body.

Maddie

I
woke up on the hard bathroom floor some hours later to my
mum banging on the door.