Indulgence (281 page)

I stood in his living room and watched the broken man in
front of me. Fuck, he’d finally hit rock bottom. I’d never known him to admit
he had a problem and that’s what he’d just done.

“Who do you owe this time?” I asked, hoping like hell it
wasn’t the same guy he’d owed last time. I had nothing on that asshole so would
struggle to dig Peter out if that was the case.

His eyes held fear when he gave me the name. “Jonathon
Gambarro.”

“Fucking hell!” I yelled, “Why the fuck did you go to him?”

He hung his head for a moment before looking back up at me
with regret. “I was running out of options.”

I grabbed the back of my neck and muttered, “Jesus, Peter.
How long you got to come up with the money?”

“One week.”

Fuck.

I dropped my hand and stalked into his kitchen. Reaching
into a cupboard, I grabbed a glass and then grabbed the bottle of bourbon I
knew he had stashed in another cupboard. It had been a while since I’d been to
Peter’s house but he was a man of habit, and, sure enough, the bourbon was
still there. I poured myself a drink and downed it in one go.

Peter followed me. “I fucked up, Kick.”

I turned my head to look at him, a scowl on my face. “You
did more than fuck up this time. Gambarro isn’t known for his compassion.”

“I don’t know what to do. Evie told me she would take care
of it, but - ”

I cut him off, “Evie’s not fuckin’ going near this shit
fight. I won’t have her involved in this. Do not fuckin’ tell her who you owe
or I swear to fuckin’ God I will take you out myself.” Anger spread through me
at the mere thought he’d even think to involve Evie in this. Did he not have a
clue who he was dealing with?

He didn’t say a word. A good fucking idea because anything
he’d say would be the wrong thing at this point. My fists clenched and I
slammed my hand down on the counter in frustration. I stared at him for a long
moment, trying desperately to contain my rage, and when I couldn’t rein it in
any longer, I picked up the glass in front of me and threw it at the wall.
“This is the last fuckin’ time, Peter!” I yelled at him. “ If I drag you out of
this, and then find out you’ve done it again… so help you God because
I
sure as fuck won’t be.”

He nodded but remained silent.

He knew he’d pushed me to the limit.

He knew I was done.

The debt to his family was paid.

*****

Four hours later, I sunk down into a couch at the clubhouse
bar. Hyde sat in the couch opposite me, his eyes questioning what was wrong. I
still wore my anger at Peter plain for everyone to see. “What’s up with you?”
he asked as he drank some of his beer.

I struggled with sharing my dilemma with him but decided I
needed to. Any involvement of mine in this could potentially impact the club. I
leant forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “My ex’s father owes ten grand
to Jonathon Gambarro and the only hope he has of settling the debt is if I step
in and help him.”

Hyde’s face clouded over with displeasure. “And what exactly
would that involve?”

“I’d have to threaten him with something. I’d need the debt
wiped with no payment involved, so that’s the only way to make that happen.”

“Fuck, Kick. This is dangerous territory. You really want to
get mixed up with Gambarro? I can assure you once you’re on his radar he’ll
have you in his sights and won’t rest ‘til he takes care of you in whatever way
he deems fit.”

I blew out a long breath. “I fuckin’ know that, Hyde, but
what choice do I have? If I don’t step in, her father is dead.”

“And if you do step in, you’re a target going forward.” He
leant forward. “And the club’s a fucking target.”

“Yeah.”

He shook his head and stood. “Stay out of it, Kick. The club
doesn’t need any more trouble. We’re still waiting to see if Silver Hell
connects us with what you and King did the other night; this is more shit we
don’t need.”

Fuck.

*****

“Please, Kick. I’m desperate,” my sister begged me over the
phone at three o’clock that afternoon. She needed a babysitter for a couple of
hours while she attended her university lecture.

“I can do it, Lina, but fuck, where the hell is Dave?” Her
asshole ex-husband always let her down and it pissed me off.

“He’s drunk again. He just called me, like five fucking
minutes ago, to say he couldn’t make it now because he accidentally drank too
much at the pub after work.” Not only did she sound angry, but I could hear the
exhaustion in her voice. Fuck, that asshole would be answering to me.

“I’ll be there soon,” I promised. Hanging up, I eyed Nitro
who I’d been talking to about bike engines again, and said, “Sorry man, I’ve
gotta go help my sister out.”

“Sure, brother. We good for Saturday?” he asked, watching as
I stood.

We’d planned to work on his engine. “Yeah, I’ll probably get
to your place by eleven.”

He gave me a chin lift and I headed out.

When I arrived at Lina’s house twenty minutes later, she
seemed even more frazzled. My brows knit together. “What’s wrong?”

“Dave just called again and said he’d be here after all.”
She gave me a pained look. “Kick, I don’t want him anywhere near the kids, not
when he’s drunk.”

I placed my hand on her upper arm. “I’ll take care of him,
okay? I don’t want you worrying about it. You just go and do your shit and
leave Dave to me.”

Tears pricked her eyes and she collapsed into my arms. “I
don’t know how much longer I can do this,” she sobbed.

Fuck, things were worse than I realised. “What the fuck’s
going on, Lina?”

She clung to me and sobbed for a good few minutes before
pulling away and wiping her eyes. Sniffling, she admitted, “He does this often.
And sometimes he turns up and gets aggressive with me if I won’t let him in the
house.”

“Fuck, me!” I yelled, the anger punching through my body,
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want this to happen!” she yelled back. “I wanted
to try and sort it out without involving you because I knew you’d resort to
violence to fix it.”

I scowled at her. “Sometimes the only thing that works is
violence.”

She hung her head for a moment and then gave me her eyes again.
Sad eyes. “I know you won’t get this, but I still love him. After everything
he’s done, I still love him, and even though I know we aren’t good together and
can never go back to what we had, I don’t want you to hurt him,” she said
softly, her words pleading with me to understand.

I roughly rubbed the back of my neck. “Shit, Lina. You’re
right, I don’t get it. The guy fucked around on you, he’s a shit father, and
you want mercy for him? Even after he’s gotten aggressive with you?”

Her lips spread into a thin line. “Some people don’t know
how to do better, Kick. For some, their best is our worst, and it’s not always
their fault,” she said softly, calmly.

My eyes widened. “Don’t sprout that psych bullshit at me
that you’re learning, ‘cause I’m not fuckin’ interested in excuses. How can you
stand here and cry on my shoulder about him one minute and then turn around and
defend him the next?”

She sighed. “If I went through life holding onto the shit
people have done to me, I’d be an angry and depressed person. I have to let it
go . . . for me, not them. And sometimes you can love and hate someone at the
same time. I choose to let both in, to not deny my feelings and only
concentrate on the bad. And as far as crying on your shoulder, yeah, I’ve
reached a point where I’m feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes you just need a good
cry and then you can keep going.”

I listened to everything she said, and while I didn’t agree
with it, I respected her enough to try to follow her wishes. At least until
that didn’t work and then we’d do things my way. Because I was sure as fuck
that her way wouldn’t work. “I won’t hurt him, but I will make it clear that
I’m watching him, and if he doesn’t pull his head in, I’ll be stepping in for
you.”

“Thank you,” she said as she stood on her toes to kiss my
cheek. “You’re a good brother, Kick.”

“We’ll see if you still think that after he fucks up again
and I lose my shit at him.”

She shook her head. “You have so little faith in people.”

“It’s what happens when you’ve been fucked over by people too
often, babe.”

Her face grew wistful. “We need to find you someone to love.
Someone who will love you so much you might start to believe in people again.”

I ignored her and jerked my chin towards the front door.
“Go. You don’t want to be late.”

She grinned at me and turned to walk away. “I’m going to
start looking,” she threw over her shoulder as she left the room.

I shook my head to myself as I went in search of the kids.
When my sister got an idea in her head she never let it go. She could try all
she liked but I’d never be like her. She was too fucking compassionate and
forgave too easily.

There’d only been two people in my life who I’d ever thought
I’d be able to forgive if needed.

Turned out me and forgiveness didn’t get along well.

Evie

I slammed my front door and trudged down the hall. My
efforts this afternoon to get hold of money for my father’s debt had been for
nothing. No one had been able to offer me a cent and I’d run out of people to
ask. Dread snaked through me at the thought of what would happen to Dad if I
couldn’t find the cash for him.

The silence and heat of the house was suffocating. After
spending the drive home completely in my own head, riddled with thoughts about
my father, I needed music to drown them out. I dumped my bag on the kitchen
counter and switched on the air conditioning and stereo before I headed to the
shower. Maree would be here to pick me up in a couple of hours and I needed to
clean the grime of the day off. I needed this night out tonight like I hadn’t
needed one in a long time.

*****

Maree clinked her glass with mine and indicated for me to
take a sip. “Here’s to hot sex with Kick,” she said, laughing.

I rolled my eyes. “I should never have told you,” I
muttered. But the conversation about Kick had put my worry about Dad out of
mind, and that was what I needed tonight.

Her eyes twinkled with mischief. “You should totally have
told me. I wanna meet this man who’s got you all flustered.”

I shifted on my stool. The humidity in the outdoor bar we
were at had caused my long hair to stick to my neck. Thank god I’d worn a
sleeveless dress tonight. Probably didn’t help that the conversation about Kick
was getting me all hot and bothered. I eyed Maree and decided to open up to her
about Kick and my family. She’d only known me for two years and I hadn’t shared
much with her so far. I’d had enough alcohol tonight to spill my life story,
though. “I’ve known Kick pretty much my whole life,” I began.

Her eyes widened. “Wow.”

“His family and mine lived on the same street and our
mothers were best friends. Kick was a year older than me and always kept an eye
out for me at school, made sure I was okay and wasn’t being picked on.”

“I’m guessing if someone picked on you, he came down on
them.”

I smiled. “Yeah, he did. Him and Jeremy. The three of us
were inseparable.” The memories swirled around me, causing butterflies in my
stomach.

“So your families are best friends and you two grew up
thinking you’d have a happy ever after together?” she asked, a tinge of
hopefulness in her voice. Maree dreamt of happy ever afters.

She was so far from the truth. “No, our - ”

A voice from behind cut me off. “No, my father fucked it all
up when he fucked Evie’s mother.” The bitterness in Kick’s voice could not be
missed and I spun around in shock. I didn’t realise he still felt that way
about his father.

As I stared at him, Maree said, “Well, that would do it.”

He tore his gaze from mine to look at her. “Yeah, it would.”

I felt the need to put some perspective on it. “It takes two
to tango, Kick. Your father wasn’t the only one at fault.”

His hard gaze met mine again. “Evie, your mother had just
lost a
child,
for fuck’s sake, her marriage was crumbling under the
strain of that as well as your father’s gambling, and she was in pain… My father
knew she was vulnerable and he went after her knowing full well she wasn’t in
her right mind. Don’t make excuses for him.”

I took a long swig of my drink. These memories sucked, and I
wanted the alcohol to blot them out.

Before I could say anything, Maree asked quietly, “Your
mother lost a child?”

I nodded, sadness enveloping me. “Yeah, my sister, Shelly…”
My voice cracked and I stopped talking. Shit, this never got any easier. Not
even after nineteen years.

Because the guilt still tears me apart.

“Our families were on our yearly holiday that we took every
summer when Shelly fell out of a tree,” Kick explained, watching me carefully,
his eyes full of concern.

All three of us sat in silence, lost in thought. Our fun
night had quickly turned sombre. I stared at my glass, absently running my
finger around the rim while Shelly occupied my mind. When I looked up, I found
Kick watching me intently, his shoulders and body tense.

Eventually, he said, “I need a drink. Either of you want
another one?”

Thank God.

We nodded, gave him our orders, and then sat watching him
walk to the bar. My gaze shifted over his white t-shirt that loosely skimmed
his muscles, and then moved down to the black jeans and motorcycle boots. I’d
never known another man to wear sexy the way Kick did.

Maree cut into my thoughts. “Babe, he’s hot. How the hell
did you walk away from him? I don’t know if I would ever let him out of my bed
if he was mine.”