Indulgence (276 page)

“I’m sorry, Evie. I know how much he meant to you.”

I met her gaze and found only concern there. She had no
ulterior motive for being here which I would have suspected in the past. “Thank
you,” I said softly and sat at the table.

Julie sat as well and kept talking. “Have you seen Kick?”

“Fuck,” I muttered, “do we have to talk about him?”

She shrugged. “Any discussion of you and Jeremy is pointless
unless Kick is involved. The three of you were almost joined at the damn hip.”

“Jeremy and Kick had a falling-out five years ago, Julie.
And Kick and I went our separate ways three years ago, so any inclusion of Kick
in this discussion is pointless.”

“Shit,” she murmured, connecting the dots in her head. “I’d
heard you and Kick broke up but I just figured you would have stayed friends
like you did the first time you broke up. And I never would have thought Kick
and Jeremy would ever stop being friends. What happened?”

I sighed. It seemed I couldn’t escape Kick today. “I don’t
know. Neither of them would tell me.”

“And you never pursued that information?”

“I did, but you know those two. Stubborn to the bitter end.
Neither would crack, so, in the end, I just let it go.”

“That must have been hard. To stay friends with Jeremy while
you were with Kick, I mean.”

Nodding, I agreed. “Yeah, it was, but I made it work. I did
try to make them see sense, but neither would give in.” Sadness wrapped me in
its arms while I remembered how amazing Jeremy had been throughout that time in
my life. He’d never walked away from me, even though it was clear he couldn’t
be around Kick any longer. And Kick had even managed to not be an asshole about
my friendship with Jeremy. It was almost as if the two of them had some agreement
about it all but I’d never managed to work it out. I’d just gone with the flow
because it had broken my heart that they’d fallen out in the first place. I’d
done my best to bring them back together, but that had been a waste of time.

Julie looked at me.
Really
looked at me, as if she
was trying to work something out. “Are you going to be okay? I know it’s shit
right now, but I want to make sure you’re coping.”

I considered her question, and I also considered her
presence here today. “Why today, Julie?”

She knew exactly what I was asking. Sighing, she said,
“Let’s just say, I’ve been re-evaluating my life lately. I know we’ve had our
differences in the past, but I’d like to try and put that behind us and spend
time together again.”

“Why are you suddenly re-evaluating things?” God, I hoped it
wasn’t sickness or something like that. My body tensed, waiting for her answer.

“I’m a thirty-six-year-old woman with no husband or kids,
and I pushed my family away when I was younger and stupid. My best friend
recently died from cancer, and I decided life’s too short for petty
disagreements. So here I am.”

The tension relaxed out of my body. “Sorry to hear about
your friend, but I’m glad you’ve decided to make those changes.”

“It might take me some time with Mum and Dad, Evie. Don’t
expect this to just happen overnight. Not after all the shit we’ve been
through.”

“I get it.” I really did. Our parents were hard work.

“How are they?” she asked tentatively.

I stretched my legs out in front of me and sagged a little
in the chair. “They’re doing okay at the moment.”

“Right, so that means they’re still struggling to get their
shit together.”

She was right. In our family, doing okay didn’t mean the
same as it would in most families that I knew. “I’ll let you decide for yourself
once you go and see them.”

She stood and picked up her bag. “I’ve got to get to work.
It was good to see you.”

I stood as well and moved to hug her. She awkwardly tried to
return the hug and that offering spread warmth through me. Julie was not an
affectionate person so this hug meant the world to me. When we pulled apart, I
smiled at her and said, “Thank you for coming and don’t be a stranger. And go
and see Mum and Dad.”

She nodded and I expected her to say something about them,
but she didn’t. What she did say took me by surprise. “I don’t know what
happened between you two, but is there any way for you and Kick to work out
your differences? Assuming he’s not with someone else now, that is?”

“He’s not, but I don’t think so. We’ve been through too
much, and if we couldn’t make it work the two times we tried, I doubt we could
now.”

“I don’t believe that, Evie. The Kick I remember would do
anything for you.
Anything
.”

I wrapped my arms around me. She was wrong, and I needed to
protect my heart this time. “I don’t think he would. Not anymore,” I said
softly.

Her face took on that look a person got when they were
trying to make you see something their way. “Go through your memories again.
Try and remember back to when you were kids. I know he would have done anything
for you back then. You two are so connected…between your childhood, our
families, Jeremy, the stuff you’ve both been through…that can’t count for
nothing, Evie.” She paused and stared hard at me before adding on a whisper,
“Make it count. You two deserve happiness.”

And then she was gone and I was left alone.

Consumed by memories.

*****

Evie

16 years old

“Kick! Stop!” I chased after him but he didn’t stop. No
surprise there; when Kick decided to do something, nothing got in his way.

I rushed after him as he stalked towards the basketball
courts where Stephanie and her posse were. His back muscles were tensed, ready
for the showdown. Those bitches had been harassing me for months and he’d been
itching to take them on, but I would never let him. There was no way I could
hold him back now, but really, they deserved whatever he had in mind.

Unless he physically lashed out at them.

That thought sent cold chills through my veins. I was
sure he wouldn’t lay a hand on a girl, but what if his anger and need to stand
up for me made him do something stupid?

I picked up my pace and yelled out to him again. “Kick,
please stop! I can handle those bitches myself.”

He kept going without a second glance in my direction.
The girls spotted him and all turned to face him. The other kids noticed the
standoff and they, too, turned to watch. Everyone began closing in on Kick and
the girls, and I hated that I had put him in this situation.

He finally made it to them and stopped. I couldn’t see
his face but I could imagine his glare. That look from Kick was enough to make
most people consider their next step but Stephanie didn’t cower. She actually
took a step closer to him and sent a glare his way.

“Why the fuck can’t you bitches leave Evie alone? You
don’t even know what shit really went down with her family, so you should shut
the fuck up rather than spreading nasty gossip and treating her like a slut,”
he raged. I could tell from his voice how close to the edge he was.

Not good.

“I know her mother cheated on her father and that’s a
slut as far as I’m concerned. Like mother, like daughter,” Stephanie countered.

Kick’s arm moved as if he was about to raise it but he
kept himself under control and instead clenched his fist over and over, as if
he was fighting the urge to punch someone. “I’m not gonna fucking argue this
shit with you, Stephanie. Leave Evie alone.” His voice had dropped to a
menacing tone.

Stephanie said something to him but a hand on my shoulder
and the brush past me of a male body distracted me from her.

Jeremy.

“Sorry, Evie,” he murmured, as he shoved me aside and
kept advancing towards Kick.

I missed what Stephanie said but zeroed back in on Kick
who had raised his voice. “You don’t wanna start something with me. Trust me on
that,” he threatened just before Jeremy stepped in.

Jeremy placed his hand on Kick’s shoulder. Kick’s head
jerked around to see who it was but before he could say anything, Jeremy spoke
calmly to Stephanie. “Why do you always have to be such a bitch, Stephanie? I’m
seriously beginning to wonder about your parents and just what they get up to.”
He paused, and I saw her face flinch. Jeremy gave Kick a grin and then
continued, “Yeah, I think we might look into that, Kick, and then report back
what we find.”

Stephanie’s face contorted into anger like I’d never seen
before. “Leave me the fuck alone, Jeremy,” she spat before saying to her
bitches, “Come on, girls, these three aren’t worth our breath.” Then she turned
and stalked away from us and her posse followed.

I stood there, stunned, not sure what had just happened.

Jeremy slapped Kick on the back and then looked at me
with a grin. “All sorted, Evie. That bitch won’t give you grief anymore.”

I frowned. “How do you know that? And what the hell just
happened?”

Kick stopped staring after the girls and turned to look
at me. “Jeremy did some digging. Discovered that Stephanie’s dad is having an
affair at the moment.”

“Oh my god! What a two-faced cow to give me shit about my
mother.”

Jeremy came to me and laid his arm across my shoulders,
and pulled me close. “Yeah, thought you might like that.”

I looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you.”

He jerked his chin at Kick. “Don’t thank me, thank him.
Kick had the brilliant idea to find out what she was hiding and then to use it
against her.”

My gaze landed on Kick. He stood still, staring at me
with a look I wasn’t sure I knew. It gave me goosebumps. “Thank you,” I
whispered, my stomach doing butterflies, “you’re always looking out for me and
I’ve never done anything to deserve it.” It was true. For as long as I’d known
him, Kick had always stood up for me, and I’d never really given him anything
in return or helped him in any way.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and scowled at me.
“Don’t fucking say shit like that, Evie. You’d do the same thing for me and Jeremy.”

Kick didn’t usually speak to me like that and it confused
me. I stared at him silently, wondering what caused him to do it.

Jeremy punched him in the arm. “Don’t be a dick,” he
muttered.

I watched as the two of them glared at each other for a
few moments and then Kick looked at me and said, “Sorry, I’m an asshole. But
don’t put yourself down, okay? You’ve been there for me more than you know.”
His voice cracked a little on his last sentence and he seemed so uncomfortable
saying it all. But, at the same time, I could feel the honesty in his words.

I smiled at him and then Jeremy broke the moment with
another slap on Kick’s back. “Okay, let’s round this up, guys,” he said as he
draped his arm around me again. “I’ve got fucking math homework and I need Evie
to work it out for me.”

Kick grinned. “She needs to work my shit out, too.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you two ever going to do your own
work?”

They stared at me like I was an idiot, and then both
their faces broke out in larger grins. “Fuck no,” they said in unison as the
three of us began walking home.

I laughed.

No matter what I was going through in my life, these two
always made my day better.

I hoped I always had them in my life.

*****

After Julie left, I headed over to my mother’s house. I
checked in with her almost daily. Whereas my father usually kept me at arm’s
length, my mother was the exact opposite - needy.

“Mum, you home?” I yelled out as I unlocked the front door
and entered her house. Stupid question really, because aside from going to work,
my mother hardly left her home.

“In the kitchen,” came her reply.

I kicked off my shoes just inside the front door because Mum
had a thing against shoes in the house. As I did this, I noticed the black
boots sitting near the door and wondered who they belonged to.

And then I heard a male voice.

Kick.

What the hell? He hardly ever visited my mother.

I hurried to the kitchen and as I rounded the corner, I came
face to face with him. I had to grab onto the counter to steady myself so I
didn’t run into him. My gaze hit his neck and took in the tattoos there before
it travelled up to his face, taking in his beard and brown hair that always had
that just-fucked look.

His hands grabbed my arms to also help steady me, and my
tummy did somersaults at the contact.

It’s been too long since he’s held me.

“Evie,” he murmured, his deep voice awakening the desire I’d
always felt for him. The goddamn desire I’d fought hard to rid myself of. But
after seeing him at Jeremy’s funeral, I knew the desire was as strong as ever.

Fuck.

I tried to move out of his embrace but he wouldn’t let me
go. I glared at him. “Let me go, Kick.”

He held me for another couple of moments before doing as I’d
asked. I placed my hands on his chest to try to force him to step aside so I
could enter the kitchen, but he didn’t move, and all I succeeded in doing was
shooting more desire throughout my body at the feel of his body again.

He glanced down at my hands on his chest and then looked at
me from under hooded eyes.

Those green eyes.

Damn
.

“Feels good, baby,” he whispered, his voice thick with
unmistakable hunger and those damn eyes penetrating mine, radiating more of
that hunger.

My core sang out its need but I acted like I had no clue
what he was going on about. I remained silent and tried to push him again.
Jesus, his muscles had multiplied since the last time I’d touched him. And they
were rock hard. Good lord, I was done for if he pushed this. I could keep my
heart closed but my body could never deny him.