Indulgence (280 page)

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Authors: Liz Crowe

BOOK: Indulgence
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Kick had been sitting on the couch opposite Mum, but he
stood and came towards me. I tried so hard not to let my gaze drop to his body,
but it was impossible, and a second later I found myself checking out his
fitted tee and the muscles straining under it.

Shit.

Eyes up, Evie. Stop looking.

It was useless.

My eyes kept wandering down his body, soaking in the
sexiness that was Kick Hanson.

He chuckled and dipped his head so our faces were
centimetres apart. “It’s all yours, baby, you just say the word,” he said, his
deep voice causing an explosion of need in me.

Shit.

I placed my hand on his chest and tried to push him away,
but, just like the last time, his body didn’t budge. He did move his face away,
though, but grinned at me as he did it.

He knows I am close.

So damn close.

I ignored what he’d said. “What are you here for today,
Kick?”

He shrugged. “Do I need a reason? I remember when I used to
practically live at this house.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I miss those days.”

Regret flared deep within me. “I do, too, Kick, but we can’t
go back. That’s not how life works.”

His eyes revealed his own regret, and we stood silently
watching each other for a couple of moments. Finally, he said, “Yeah.” Taking a
step away from me, he turned back to face Mum and said, “Thanks for the drink,
Loretta. I’ll see you soon.”

“Thanks for dropping in,” Mum replied, “come back whenever
you want.”

He nodded and then faced me again. Stepping closer, he
reached out to cup my cheek and ran his thumb over my lip. “We can’t go back,
Evie, but we can sure as fuck go forward.”

Kick had always been able to turn me on with just a look or
his voice or the lightest of touches, and now was no different. His touch, his
voice, and his words melded together and caused desire to spread to every nerve
ending in my body.

The other thing he’d always been able to do was read me
well. Awareness flickered in his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched in
the slightest of smiles. He traced my lips one more time and then he let me go
and said, “I’ll see you soon, too, baby.”

I wrapped my arms around my body as I watched him go.

Hell, Kick Hanson had me.

“Evie,” Mum cut into my thoughts, and I spun around to look
at her. “What’s up?”

“Huh?” God, my brain had turned to mush after Kick got to
it.

“Well, you came over, so I figure you wanted something.”

I went and sat on the couch with her. “No, I just came to
see how you were,” I said, glancing at her to see how she was doing. Usually,
tiredness marred her face, but lately she’d been doing better. After Shelly’s
death, Mum had sunk into a deep depression and never really recovered. She’d
retreated within and hardly left the house. It was only recently she’d started
to really come out of it and seemed much happier these days. But it took a lot
of work on her behalf, and I knew that, so I did my best to help her out
whenever I could and checked in on her regularly.

“Thank you,” she said, giving me a sad smile, “How are you,
baby? I worry about you.”

Her words caused a flush of happiness through my body. One
of the side effects of her depression was an inability to care for her kids the
way a mother should. She’d been unable to show us much affection and that had
lasted for years. These days she gave us random pieces of affection so when she
did, I grabbed it with both hands and held tight.

“I’ll be okay. You know what it’s like. I’ve just gotta take
it one day at a time.”

We sat in silence for a little while and then she astounded
me by opening up in a way she never had. “One day at a time is all you have to
do. But don’t do what I did, Evie. If you’re struggling, go and see someone to
help you. I closed down on you all, and that was the absolute worst thing I
could have done. Most of the time, you will probably just want to be left
alone, and while you do need that, you also need to talk about what you’re
going through. Not all the time, but don’t shut down. Promise me you won’t do
that.”

“I promise,” I whispered, my voice catching in my throat at
her rare openness.

Maybe after all these years, I’d finally get my mum back.

 

*****

 

I shut my eyes and let myself slide deeper into the bath
water. Darkness surrounded me except for the flickering of some candles I’d set
around the bathroom. Lavender for relaxation.

It’d been a long day, and after leaving Mum’s house this
afternoon I’d come home, hoping to sink into the couch and not leave it all
night. Best laid plans never worked out, though. My neighbour had called me in
a panic. Her washing machine had flooded her laundry and she needed help with
her kids while she dealt with her emergency. Three hours later, I’d traipsed
home even more exhausted.

Thoughts of my father and his predicament filled my mind as
I lay in the bath. As much as I tried to force them out, at least just for the
duration of my bath, I couldn’t stop them coming. I’d contacted my bank today
and begged for a loan, but seeing as I already had a maxed out credit card and
a personal loan on my car, they wouldn’t lend me anymore. The two thousand
dollars I had saved would hardly help my father so I’d then asked some friends
if they could lend me any money but the most they could come up with was
another thousand. I had six more days to figure this out and not many people
left to ask.

Shit.

I sat up in the bath, water sloshing everywhere because I
moved so quickly. Nausea hit my gut and I had to take some deep breaths to get
my breathing under control.

What the hell am I going to do?

What the hell is my father going to do?

As I sat there, with my hands gripping the sides of the bath
and my concentration focused on regaining my breaths, a loud knock on the front
door filled the silence in my house.

Who the hell would be knocking on my door at ten o’clock at
night?

I stayed in the bath, waiting to see if they went away, but
when they knocked again, I pushed myself up and stepped out of the bath.
Wrapping my towel around me without even drying myself off, I stalked to the
front of the house.

When I got to the front door, I abruptly stopped.

Was I seriously going to answer the door at this time of
night wrapped in a freaking towel?

Before I could even process that question and answer it, the
person on the other side called out. “Evie, it’s Kick. Open up.”

Oh my god, he had to be kidding me.

Without any further thought, I yanked the door open and
glared at him.

His gaze travelled down my body and then back up to meet my
eyes. Stepping forward, he raised one arm up and leant it against the door
jamb. “Sweetheart, you’re a sight for sore fuckin’ eyes,” he said.

I huffed out a breath and shook my head at him. “What are
you doing here at this time of night, Kick?”

“What? No hello? No invitation in?” His tone was playful,
flirtatious, and I knew we were heading into dangerous territory.

I jerked my chin at the door. “Shut it after you,” I said
and then began walking down my hall. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a
minute,” I yelled out as I made my way into my bedroom to put some clothes on.

His boots sounded behind me. “Don’t need to get changed on
my account,” he said, his sexy voice causing me to shiver as it drifted across
my skin.

I ignored him and continued to the bedroom. No way would
Kick and I be having a conversation with me wrapped only in a towel.

When I met him in the kitchen a couple of minutes later, he
was sitting at the table with his legs stretched out in front of him and his
arms crossed over his chest.

I arched a brow as I sat with him. “You look comfortable
there.”

“You do that to me,” he murmured pensively. He appeared to
have something on his mind tonight.

“Do what to you?”

He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees and cradled
his chin in one hand. “Being around you calms me, baby.” His eyes held mine,
and time stood still for a moment.

Memories rushed me.

Kick filled so many memories of mine, and his voice and
presence triggered an avalanche I couldn’t stop. My body shivered as they hit
me, as the emotions engulfed me.

I took a deep breath. “It doesn’t calm
me
,” I said
softly.

He frowned. “In a good way or a bad way?” He seemed
genuinely interested in my answer.

“I’m not sure,” I said softly and then asked, “What did you
want to talk to me about?”

He raised his brow. “You’re not even gonna offer me a
drink?”

“No drink. Just spill so we can talk, and then you can
leave.”

He shifted to lean forward in his chair. “When are you gonna
get that I’m not going anywhere?”

“When are
you
gonna get that
I’m
not
interested?”

He smirked and said, “You talk a good game, baby, but you
are
more
than fuckin’ interested.”

“Just start talking, Kick,” I said, impatient for him to get
his words out.

He paused for a second and his face grew serious. “Can we
put all the bullshit aside and be honest with each other for a minute?” His
eyes implored me to say yes.

I hesitated. Honesty could lead me to trouble here. But
after everything we’d ever been through together, he deserved that, at least. I
nodded. “Okay.” My voice was anything but sure.

“I want to give us another go,” he said, “and I need to know
if I’ve got a shot at making that happen.”

My stomach knotted. A mixture of desire and concern.

Before I could reply, he reminded me, “No bullshit, Evie. I
know you’re still pissed at me, but do you think you can move past that?”

Sometimes in life you tell yourself you don’t want something
that you really do. And if you tell yourself that for long enough you actually
end up believing it. I’d been telling myself for three long years that I didn’t
want Kick. And I’d grown to believe it. But sitting here with him now, and
stripping back the bullshit, I knew deep in my heart I
did
want him.

Only a couple of minutes had passed while we sat in silence,
but it felt like more. Finally, I said, “I want you, Kick, I’ve always wanted
you, but I don’t know how we would make it work. And you know me, I’m a ‘how’
person. If I can’t get my head around how something is going to work, I can’t
do it.”

“You think too much, baby,” he said, still staring at me,
willing me to want the same thing he did.

“Well, you don’t think enough,” I accused, my voice rising.

“I do when it’s needed, but this . . .” he thumped his hand
against his chest, and his voice grew more forceful when he continued, “this is
in here. It doesn’t need thought.”

“You know what?” I said as I leant forward, moving my face
closer to his, “I can feel it as much as I want in
here
,” I thumped
my
chest, “but that means shit if we go back to what we were and change nothing.”

He didn’t say anything, just sat quietly watching me. By the
looks of it, he was thinking now. When his phone began ringing a moment later,
he answered it with a look of reluctance. I didn’t listen to his conversation
but rather left him to go and make myself a cup of tea.

When he joined me in the kitchen, I felt his presence behind
me before I heard him.

“I’ve gotta go but I want to continue this conversation.
Yeah?”

I faced him and slowly nodded. “Okay.”

“Tomorrow after you finish work?”

I was about to say yes when I remembered I had to keep
calling around trying to find money for my dad. “Shit, I can’t after work. I’ve
got stuff to do for my dad and then I think Maree is taking me out.”

He frowned. “Is your dad okay?”

I let out a long sigh. “No, he’s gotten himself in debt
again.”

“Fuck,” he muttered.

“Yeah, that about covers it.”

Some of my hair had fallen across my face, and he reached
his hand up to tuck it behind my ear. He let his hand slide down and then he
curled it gently around my neck, his thumb rubbing over my throat. My breathing
picked up as desire flooded me. I wanted this, but I had to go slow and make
sure we figured it all out before we rushed into things.

His head dipped and when his lips brushed mine, need
unfurled through my entire body, and I couldn’t stop myself even if I’d tried.
I stepped forward and pressed my body into his. My hand landed on his chest and
then slid up so I could tangle my fingers in his hair and at the same time pull
his head closer to mine.

I needed him.

Needed him as close as I could get him.

As our tongues danced and our bodies came together, I knew
there’d never be another man I wanted as much as Kick. God knew, I’d tried to
find one, but kissing him now, I experienced that knowledge deep in my core and
in my soul.

He slowly ended our kiss and rested his forehead against
mine. “Fuck, baby, we need to sort this out because I fuckin’ need to be inside
you.”

“I know,” I whispered, breathless from his kiss.

We stayed like that for another few moments and then he
finally pulled away. “Tomorrow. I don’t care if it’s fuckin’ midnight or later,
you and I are going to talk,” he said with certainty.

After he’d left, I let the excitement and anticipation work
its way through me.

I allowed myself to hope that we could find a way to make
this work once and for all.

 

Chapter Six

 

 

Kick

 

Peter Bishop and I had a strange relationship. I felt like
my family owed him a lot for what my father had done to him, and I was sure he
hated me for everything my father had taken from him. But I was also certain he
hated the fact I knew every dark secret he had and that I had bailed him out on
more occasions than he cared to admit.

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